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Emma rummaged around in the large trunk that stood in the corner of her bedchamber, listening to the melodious tunes her father orchestrated down in the drawing room.
Her father had played the piano from a very young age, and was still very skilled. She recalled many nights when she had sat beside him on the stool while he played.
When she was old enough, she performed along with him, but for the past few years, she had not spent as much time with her father.
He had allowed her to be her own person and do as her heart desired. A smile formed on her lips as she recognized the familiar tune they used to play together.
For a moment she sat perfectly still, listening to the music, then she shook her head and continued to poke around in the trunk. She had searched her entire bedchamber for her favorite hair comb, but could not find it anywhere.
For the life of her, she couldn’t remember where she had it last, hence the intense search of her chamber. As she glanced down into the trunk, her hand touched another familiar thing – something she had not thought of in a long while. Her hands gripped the soft leather and retrieved her old journal from a few years prior. The leather was still in pristine condition and she placed it on her lap. She lightly touched the embossed flowers and smiled nostalgically.
Emma opened the journal and began to read her words from years ago. Her penmanship had improved a great deal since then, and the ink was slightly faded, but she was able to read her words. She wrote of her love for travel, when she had visited Paris with her parents, and wished to revisit the city as soon as she was able to. She also wrote of Edinburgh, which she wished to visit as well. Her father had promised that she could travel there, but had not done so yet.
A thought occurred to her and a sad smile formed on her lips. Although she loved William, she deserved to be happy, and traveling was the only thing that made her happy – besides him.
Emma was still angry with herself for declining his offer of marriage, and despite wishing she could go back in time and agree, she now had to do what was best for herself. She also did not wish to lose control over her life by becoming something she had always despised.
A slave to a man.
She shivered at the thought and glanced down at the journal resting on her lap. Her once sad smile shifted into feeling filled with promise and hope.
Perhaps it was time to make that visit to Edinburgh?
Emma stood up from her place on the floor and clasped the journal against her chest. She left her bedchamber and made her way down the hallway and then the staircase. A spark of hope filled up inside her, and she drew in a deep breath, gathering the courage she required.
She slowly made her way down the broad hallway, the sound of the piano growing louder. She stepped through the doorway of the drawing room and smiled at the sight before her.
Lord Montague, her father, sat on the stool in front of the piano, with his wife leaning against the side. The pair gazed lovingly into one another’s eyes, and for a moment, Emma pictured them as a young married couple, even more in love than they were today.
Emma had always admired her parents’ adoration for each other and had hoped she would find someone who would look at her the same way her father gazed at her mother.
Her thoughts immediately returned to William, whom she had tried to set away from her mind, but she continued to fail.
She recalled the way he had looked at her when he had asked for her hand, and her heart suddenly yearned for him. Despite not wanting to marry him due to his stated reasons, she still wished she had accepted.
She loved him, but it only seemed he wished to marry her out of pity, wanting to clear his conscience. She had come to hear many tales of him from her parents. His philandering. His drinking. His nights with widows and other bed partners.
Whether they held any truth was another story, but she did not wish to chance it. She was not about to place her heart on the line for someone who would not look after it.
“Emma, dear?”
Emma focused her gaze on her mother and cocked her head.
“Is everything well, daughter?” Lord Montague inquired with a furrowed brow.
“I am perfectly well, Father,” Emma answered and smiled as she stepped forward.
“Is that your travel journal, Emma?” he asked and turned to her.
Emma glanced down at the journal for a moment forgetting she still clutched it against her chest and nodded. “Indeed. I found it while I searched through my trunk in my bedchamber. I forgot I still had it.”
“You would not allow me to dispose of it, my dear,” her mother chuckled. “You adored writing in that journal almost as much as you adored traveling.”
“It was wonderful that you were able to visit different places with us, my dearest Emma,” her father said and smiled sincerely at her.
“And I enjoyed it as well, Mother and Father,” Emma said and glanced down at the journal in her hands. “I read through the pages and realized that there was one place I have not visited yet that I wished to. I still do, in fact.”
“And where is that, my dear?” her mother inquired.
“Edinburgh,” her father answered with a smile.
“Father still remembers,” Emma grinned.
“Of course. I recall I promised you that we would visit there one day,” he pointed out.
“Indeed, and you never break a promise,” Emma said hopefully.
He cocked his head and rested his arm on the side panel of the piano. “You are, indeed, correct. I am a man of my word, and I am fairly certain I understand. You wish to visit Edinburgh, see the castles and the lochs. The cliffs and the endless beaches.”
“Indeed, Father,” Emma answered. “With everything that has happened the past few weeks, it would be a welcome break from the drama that seems to follow me even to the sanctity of my own home.”
As her father prepared to rise abruptly from his piano stool, Emma raised her hand and said with reassurance, “Do not fret, Father. There have been no more incidents since the previous one. I simply wish to distance myself from my surroundings for a while.”
Lord and Lady Montague exchanged glances and much to Emma’s surprise, her mother nodded happily. “That does sound like a wonderful idea, my dear. It will give Emma the opportunity to forget everything she has gone through, as well as experience the beauty of Edinburgh. I only wish we could accompany her.”
“Surely you are not suggesting she go by herself?” her father asked in disbelief.
“My love, she is perfectly capable of caring for herself, but I will allow one of the maids to accompany her, as well as Lewis, who will happily drive her there,” Lady Montague answered with assurance.
“It is such a long journey—”
“Father, please,” Emma interrupted and approached him. She took his hand in hers and met his gaze with hers. “It would mean the world to me if you would allow me to go. You, of all people, know how much I wish to travel to Edinburgh. I vow to not be irresponsible or place myself in a situation where I would be at risk. And Lewis does not need to drive me all the way. I would gladly travel by train. It would be such a scenic ride, and much more comfortable, as well.”
Her mother shrugged her shoulders. Her father’s jaw was clenched as he pondered for a moment longer. “Very well, you may go.”
Emma exclaimed happily as she embraced her father and thanked him profusely.
“But you must promise me, my dear,” her father began to say, and Emma loosened her embrace. “You must promise to be safe, but also enjoy yourself. The highlands are beautiful and majestic, and will enchant your soul.”
“I do not doubt that for a moment,” Emma smiled. “And I will be safe, my dear father.”
“Then it is settled. We shall go to the train station and purchase a ticket for you and Anna, and you will be on your way.”
“Thank you, Mother. Thank you, Father,” Emma beamed. “I have no words to explain my gratitude towards you.”
“I will make arrangements with my cousin, Lord Falmouth. He would be delighted to have you stay at his estate in the outskirts of Edinburgh,” Lady Montague offered.
“I would not wish to be a burden to anyone, Mother, especially not family whom I have never met,” Emma stated.
“Nonsense. Lord Falmouth would be delighted to finally meet you. Perhaps his son, Lord Duncan could take you to a few of those treasured places,” her father said.
Emma lowered her gaze. It was not the best of times, but perhaps she required another distraction to keep her thoughts away from William. It would most certainly be difficult, but it was necessary.
“Is something weighing on your mind, my dearest child?” Lord Montague inquired.
“I am perfectly fine, Father. I am merely overwhelmed with the thoughts that my greatest dream will soon be realized,” Emma said, and embraced both her father and mother once more. “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you both. I love you both dearly.”
“We both love you dearly as well, Emma.”
Emma glanced gratefully at her parents and quietly left the drawing room.
She made her way back to her bedchamber and closed the door.
She sat on her bed and continued to read the pages of her journal, recalling every thought as she read the lines she’d written. Remembering all the emotions she’d felt at the moment she’d penned them.
Her old words made her excited for her future visit to Edinburgh. She could hardly wait to set foot on the train. To leave Somerset and all the troubles behind, even if it was only for a short while.
Perhaps, she thought to herself as she leaned back against the soft pillows of her bed, she would adore Edinburgh so much that she would not wish to return.
Would that be such a bad thing? She only wished to be happy. Not constantly reminded of the best and worst mistake she had made in her entire life. Was that so wrong to only wish to be happy, even if that meant leaving her family and her best friend in the entire world behind?
Even if it meant leaving the only man she’d ever loved behind as well?
Emma continued to read through the pages of the journal until the words swam in front of her eyes and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.