I WISH I could find my pistol so I could put a bullet in my brain. Rubble and debris are scattered all around me from the remains of the Center in Screven. Fire threatens to burn me, but I don’t care. In the distance I can see several people running toward me. Are they allies? Enemies? At this point, it doesn’t matter.
My pistol must have been flung from my belt in the explosions. I need it. Death will take me any second now and I can’t wake up as a greyskin. I can’t imagine myself as a greyskin. What kind of monster would I be?
My stomach wrenches and I dry-heave, trying to throw up onto the road in front of me. I haven’t seen a mirror since yesterday, but I imagine my eyes have darkened. I remember they had been bloodshot. Mucus drips down the front of my face and I know what comes next is death and a desire to eat flesh.
The people running toward me look like they are a mile away, though it’s probably only a hundred yards or so. I roll onto my back and stare up into the sky. When I look up, the sky is so hazy I can’t tell if it’s day or night, even though I know it is just after dawn. There is so much smoke. I can’t hear much. My ears are ringing from the explosions, but I’m sure my hearing will return if I don’t die first.
The past twenty-four hours have been nothing but a blur. As I lay on my back, echoes of my last day whiz by. It’s like when a person sees her life flash before her eyes before she has a close call or is in a terrible accident. That’s kind of what this feels like; my brain is trying to reflect on how I came to be lying in the middle of the street in Screven with destruction all around me. My brain takes me to the moment I saw the blinking red light. The sinking feeling of defeat was like none I had ever felt.
I think about leaving Springhill. Meeting the Screven Resistance. My last dreams that Evelyn had given me. I see it all in vivid detail, but it only takes a few seconds.
I close my eyes again and drift off to sleep. This is the first time in what seems like forever that I don’t dream something vivid meant to send me a message or show me why I needed to be in this fight. It is my final sleep, I’m sure.
I don’t open my eyes. I can’t open my eyes. I feel hands grab both of my arms, and another set of hands grab my legs. I’m being carried away. To where, I have no idea. It almost feels like I’m on a swing. Peaceful. But the peace fades as I feel the burning heat from the fires all around. I’m set back onto the ground, but I’m leaning against some wall. I can feel the cool stone against my back. I can barely keep my head up so I just let it fall to my shoulder.
I can hear voices, but I can’t discern what they are saying. Eventually, I’m able to open my eyes. Jeffrey stands over me. His hands grip my shoulders and his lips are moving, but all I can do is stare at him. Christopher walks up and kneels beside him, staring at me. He looks as rough as I feel. I hope he doesn’t try to heal my symptoms again. It’s over and done.
Where is Connor? Did he make it? I want my thoughts to become words, but it doesn’t happen. I close my eyes, but not to sleep. This time I try to think of Connor. Three people - Allison, Danny, and Heather help him up to his feet. His face is messy with dirt and blood, and he is bleeding in several places on his body, but he seems to be moving well. When I think of Aaron, I see him tied to a chair in a dark room with no electricity. The only light comes from a window in the far corner. Evelyn sits a few feet away from him. She’s tied up too. The helicopter must have landed. Where, I have no idea.
Evelyn tries to say something to Jeremiah, but the gauze in her mouth prevents it. He reaches out and pulls it away.
“You want something?” he says.
“Your regime is done,” she answers. “You might have escaped the Center’s explosion, but you won’t escape Mora.”
Jeremiah looks over at Aaron and smiles. “Do you agree with your leader?”
Aaron just sits and stares at the floor. He seems defeated.
Jeremiah reaches out and grabs Evelyn by the throat.
“Leave her alone!” Aaron shouts. “Why don’t you actually stand and fight, you coward!”
Jeremiah ignores him and closes his eyes for a moment and begins to laugh. He holds her like this for at least twenty seconds. Finally, he lets go and walks to the other side of the room.
“You know what is beautiful about having Trace’s gift?” he asks. “It’s coming across people like you. It’s that I can take your gift as my own and use it. I can see into your mind just as you saw into mine all those years ago. Mora is dying. You think she might already be dead.”
“What?” Aaron says. His eyes narrow at Jeremiah.
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Jeremiah says with a smile. “Your little Mora was scratched by a greyskin yesterday morning. Apparently she will be dead soon. The healer, Christopher, has been helping her maintain her strength for the past day. I now see that her plan was to go down in the Center with me inside. Well, we all saw how that turned out.”
Evelyn glares at him. “Just because you can use my ability doesn’t mean I don’t keep it for myself. You touched me to see into my life, but I also got to see into yours. You are scared, Jeremiah. You don’t know what to do. You feared taking Trace’s power for yourself, but worse than that, you feared what would happen if you didn’t. You fear death because you know the temperature of hell has been turned up for you. You are terrified.”
“I have nothing to fear any longer,” he says. “Your only true weapon, Mora, will be dead soon if she isn’t already. It is a pity. I was looking forward to killing her. More so, now that I see you were hoping to pass your torch on to her.”
“You have access to a microphone, I’m sure” Evelyn says, “Call her here. She would oblige.”
“Announcing ultimatums for the entire public to hear,” Jeremiah says. “I’m sure that would bode well for me.”
“You don’t care,” Evelyn says. “You’re past that. You know you scare the people into submission if things get out of hand. You’ve done it your entire life.”
Jeremiah stares at her for a long moment, probably contemplating her words.
“You can end the Resistance today,” she says.
“Yet, you wouldn’t be saying these things to me if you thought they were true,” he answers. “Your prodding sparks my caution.”
“I’m just trying to get all this over with. I’m sick of trying to kill you. I’m ready to retire.”
“Oh that’s coming,” Jeremiah says. He looks from Evelyn to Aaron and back to Evelyn. “I’ll be back in a few moments. I think you might be on to something, Evelyn.”
He leaves the room with the two of them alone. Aaron jerks his head toward her. “How come no one ever told me that she was dying?”
Evelyn lowered her chin to her chest and shook her head. “She didn’t want anyone to know. I thought it would distract us from our mission.”
“I feel like I’ve earned the right to know that kind of thing,” he says. “I can’t believe she kept that from me.” He shakes his head. His anger overcomes his sadness and it hurts me to see it. “How much longer does she have?”
“I don’t know. Not long. She might not have even escaped the explosion.”
“I can’t believe this,” he says. Tears begin to form at the corner of his eyes. “I loved her.”
“I know you did, boy. I know you did.”
My eyes open at the sound of the speaker system booming throughout the entire city. My hearing seems to have returned and the courtyard where we are resting seems fairly quiet but for the flames all around. Looking to my left, I finally see that all that remains of the Center is fire and rubble. There are bodies scattered all over the courtyard. Greyskins, people. Soldiers from both sides.
“Attention, citizens of Screven. This is your leader, Jeremiah.”
I wish I had the strength to roll my eyes. That man loves his speaker announcements. Jeffrey and Christopher stand as they listen to him. Connor, Heather, Danny, and Allison all gather around us.
“The Starborn terrorists have tried to destroy our city. They have attempted to assassinate me by bombing the Center. They have released greyskins on you, the citizens of this great city. Now, I know what they want from me. And I’m willing to strike a deal with them. The leader of them, Mora, is still among you. With her is a man named Christopher who is equally as dangerous.”
Christopher shakes his head and looks at Jeffrey who shrugs.
“I have with me two of their accomplices. Aaron and Evelyn. I am willing to let them go as long as Mora and Christopher will give themselves up to me within the next ten minutes. If they do not comply, Sadie will suffer.”
“Sadie,” I hear Christopher whisper. He closes his eyes and lowers his head at the mention of her name.
“If anyone other than Mora and Christopher come to my location, Aaron and Evelyn will be dead before you can get inside.” Jeremiah paused for a second. “I am located at the prison. You have ten minutes.”
The group stands in silence at the words from Jeremiah. “I can’t…I can’t even move,” I manage to say. “How can I…can I go?”
“I say we all go in there and cream him,” Heather says.
“But he will kill Aaron and Evelyn,” Christopher says.
Danny shakes his head. “Won’t he do that anyway?”
“Sure,” Christopher says. “But not immediately. If we all rush in there, they will certainly die. If we play this out subtly, there is a chance.”
“How?” Jeffrey says, motioning to me. “Poor Mora can’t even walk. There isn’t a chance that she’s getting to the prison in this condition.”
Christopher nods. “No. Not in this condition.” He stands for a moment, staring me in the eyes. He doesn’t say anything while he does this, but my heart sinks when I finally understand what he’s thinking.
“There’s a reason he mentioned Sadie and not Mora’s grandma or brother,” Christopher continues. “He knows Mora is dying. He knows she’s at her end.”
I try to nod, but I don’t have the strength.
“I don’t know if Evelyn told him, or what,” Christopher says, “but he knows.” He swallows hard. “And I know if I’m dead, he won’t even bother going after Sadie.”
“What are you saying?” Connor asks.
“Mora,” Christopher says. “I’m going to heal you.”
Somehow I find the strength to shake my head. It hurts to do it. “No.” I’m barely able to let the word out.
“But that will kill you,” Jeffrey says. “Besides, we can move Sadie away. Jeremiah won’t find her.”
“I promised…promised Sadie you would be safe,” I say. “You can’t do this. Let me be.”
Christopher kneels down beside me. “It’s about more than protecting Sadie,” he says. “It’s about more than whatever poison Jeremiah spits out of his mouth. I heard it from Evelyn, and I believe it. You have a passion to help others. She chose you to lead the Starborns because she knew you would be the one that could make this place better. You are meant to be the true healer, Mora. You’re going to heal the world.”
He reaches down and grabs my hand. I wish there was strength in me to push him away. The disease inside doesn’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes and falling to my shirt. I can’t bear the thought of Christopher giving up his life for mine. What did I ever do to deserve it? What did I do to show him that I could carry on the mission? That I could continue past this fight?
“But what about you?” Danny asks. “Jeremiah said you have to be there as well.”
Christopher looks back at Danny, still holding my limp hand. “I don’t want to go in there for him to hold up a gun to their heads to make me to heal him. I’m not going to do it. If I’m going to die healing someone, it’s not going to be him.” He nodded at Connor. “He can go with Mora. From a distance, Jeremiah won’t know the difference.”
My eyes fall on Connor. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t move. He’s stunned by what he is seeing. So am I. Christopher leans toward me. With his free hand, he wipes away a tear that is immediately replaced by another.
“Take them to New Haven,” he says.
“Don’t do it,” I plead. I have accepted my death. I have expected it. He wasn’t even supposed to come here in the first place.
“This is all my fault,” I say.
Christopher shakes his head. “I chose to come here. And I’m glad I did. The Starborns were meant to rid the world of greyskins. Start with Jeremiah. This is what I was meant to do.”
He closes his eyes and immediately I start to feel the pain lift from my body. I watch as he accepts the pain as his own. I can feel the rot of the virus leave my body. My blood is clean now; the decay has been replaced with purity. With life.
But I can see the pain on Christopher’s face. I can see the suffering. It makes me want to pull away, but I can’t. My body’s desire for life can’t resist what Christopher offers. Then his grip simply loosens and I find that I’m the one holding on tightly to him. His eyes open for a brief moment and he smiles. He lays his head down slowly and stares into the sky. With one final breath, he closes his eyes, and breathes no more.