9
Connect in the right way
At a recent client meeting, Craig, a senior executive, shared with me that he had decided to take redundancy from his organisation after almost 13 years of service. He was excited at the opportunity to take some time out to reconnect with his family and refuel his energy. His plan?
‘I'll start looking for work again in about six months, I reckon,' he said.
‘Who do you have in your network who can help you?' I asked. ‘Have you thought about what you're going to do between now and then to keep your profile out there?'
‘Oh, I haven't really thought about that, to be honest,' he responded.
What do you think about that strategy? It's not an unusual response, especially when we're a bit tired and need a break. But nurturing your network is an ongoing process. It is not something you switch on when you want something and switch off when it's not needed.
In his book What Got You Here Won't Get You There, Marshall Goldsmith discusses 20 bad habits that stifle success, such as making excuses and passing judgement. He then explains how these habits stand between your current and your next level of achievement. Well, I'm going to add to this list, and say number 21 is sitting on your hands and doing nothing until the time is right.
When we forget to invest the time or energy in managing or nurturing our important relationships, we get lazy, do nothing and let our networks evolve organically. The result? Remember the ineffective, transactional stage of the networking ladder in chapter 2?
After all your hard work, rethinking and assessing your network, and searching out the 12 key people who can accelerate your success, why on earth would you let all that go to waste?
It is up to you to make the decision and choose to connect, engage and nurture the people who matter to you on an ongoing basis. Only in this way can you build a network that will be influential and transformative for you over the long term, including at stages in your career or life when you feel you want to ‘take a break'.
An ever-evolving process
As shown in part II, successful networking is about understanding the connections you should be making — the 12 key people — as opposed to those you are making. It's about managing those networks and connections and adding value to them at all times.
In his book Highly Effective Networking, Orville Pearson suggests that while building a large network can give you an edge, the more pivotal factor is learning to maximise and leverage existing contacts.
Your network is a living thing that has to evolve as you grow and evolve.
You move jobs, you get a promotion, you move countries, you have a baby — at every step of the way your network has to morph to match your changing circumstances.
You must ensure you are constantly surrounded by a circle of key people who will stretch you, challenge your thinking and hold you accountable for your decisions. Investing the time to review your network regularly is essential.
For me, this is something I do every December/January as part of my new year goal setting and planning. As well as creating my vision board for the year and my key goals in the area of business, finance, personal and relationships and checking in on alignment with my bigger-picture why, I also review my network of 12.
Do I still have the right people around me? Is there still a mutual value exchange happening? Have they or I moved on in terms of key goals and focus? What's missing and who do I need to connect or reconnect with? What help do I need in the next 12 months to achieve my goals?
As Craig's story at the beginning of this chapter illustrates, building a network that works is about taking ownership and ensuring that at all times you surround yourself with the people who matter to you. It's also about appreciating that cultivating transformational connections requires an investment in your time, energy and focus.
Closer than you think
Building a strong personal network doesn't just happen. You have to put in the time, energy and commitment to bring your ideal network to life. You have to put into place the plan you came up with in part II, when you identified your 12 key people. It's now about finding the missing connections and making contact.
The good news is that your successful network is probably closer than you think. Small degrees of separation exist between you and your next opportunity, so take some time to explore those closest to you and the people you already know.
There are three actions you need to take to connect with the right network:
- Reach out.
- Hang out.
- Link in.
These actions do not work independently of one another but rather work in unison. So let's look at each in a bit more detail.
1. Reach out
You already have a network of sorts at your fingertips. Your friends, family and work colleagues are all connected to a wider world beyond your own personal network. Most of us have heard of the idea of six degrees of separation, which proposes that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries.
There is no doubt in my mind that only small degrees of separation exist between who you already know and who you could potentially know — you simply need to ask. Each person in your existing network should be able to suggest one other person who might be of interest to you and make an introduction based on what you need.
Don't undo all your good work! Think strategically about who you want to connect with and figure out if anyone else you know could help make an introduction.
Think about who has currently achieved what you want to achieve or shows the behaviours you want to exemplify. Take the time to work through the 12 key people properly, review the checklists, and identify who is missing and who could help you get to where you want to go.
What skills are missing? What insight do I need? What attributes and behaviours am I seeking? How can I spend more time with that person? What would they be interested in reading? What do I have that they might be interested in? Where do they hang out? Who do I already know who might be able to introduce me?
The other day I was having lunch with a female friend who said she was looking for a Mentor — someone who had already arrived at where she planned to take her businesses next, someone with experience of the challenges and the pitfalls who would be willing to guide her through the next stage of her entrepreneurial journey. I immediately made an introduction to an ideal connection and they are now working together. Two leading businesswomen are now connected and working collaboratively in a mentoring relationship to drive each other's success.
In the early days of my own career I knew I needed to find someone who could fast-track my transition from a corporate salaried position to an entrepreneurial space that was commercially viable and smart. I explored who was already doing what I wanted to do — people who were building practices and selling their thought leadership and expertise — and asked them to recommend who I should meet. As a result of one of these conversations, my mentor and now Thought Leaders business partner became Matt Church.
It really is that easy. Own it. Be curious. Be brave. Reach out — and don't forget to expect the unexpected. Open your eyes to what is out there, because it comes in many different guises.
As Mario Jayaprabhu, a participant in one of my ‘Take the Lead' workshops, explains, you need to take the plunge:
Before the course, I'd consider myself a ‘speak when spoken to' kind of networker. But then I went diving in Thailand.
My dive instructor had such diverse talents: a musician, a photographer and a senior executive at a leading investment firm in the US, not to mention being an avid diver.
The more similar someone is to you, the more comfortable it feels to connect, which is why networks are by nature homogeneous. But I realised that James was someone who would be great as one of my 12 key people, and the best thing I could offer him in return was the chance to explore some dive spots in Australia.
So I connected with him and now I'm on my way to clocking the hours to becoming a solo diver as well. Most people concentrate on networking up — building rapport with someone higher than them or around the same position as them on the ladder. But it's just as smart to ‘network down' and connect with savvy junior people in your industry or others who might be taking a different path.
2. Hang out
There are endless places, events and networking groups where you can connect offline — the challenge is deciding which one is right for you, your goals, and your personality and style so you don't fall down the transactional rabbit hole.
Once you know who you are seeking, you can start to explore the events where these people gather and therefore where you might meet them. If you are looking for a mentor in the legal space, go to an industry-specific event; if you are a graduate just starting out, then attending a more generic networking event might be more useful; if you are looking to grow your business or career to the next level, then make sure to attend an event with the right calibre of attendees from whom you can gain insight and knowledge. And if you are an introvert, why not think about inviting someone for a coffee or organising a lunch for four rather than facing 400 new faces at a big event?
The key is to be clear on who and what you need, be curious and explore what's out there, and make a decision based on what works and what doesn't work for you. Don't follow the crowd. Remember, this is your journey and your network.
Be willing to step out of your comfort zone. Dig deep and step out of the place of familiarity and safety to connect with people outside your traditional circle of influence. Make a decision to explore other networks, other people, other industries and businesses.
You could try:
- attending events that attract different groups of people
- talking to someone from a different industry
- debating with people of different seniority and from different departments
- engaging with others because you are curious about where that connection might lead.
I've heard of one company starting a monthly game of coffee roulette where all employees' names, irrespective of hierarchy, are placed in the equivalent of a hat and pairs are randomly drawn to have coffee together that month. What a fabulous way of encouraging connection within businesses across seniority, department and functionality!
I see too many people who flit from one networking event or group to another, gaining nothing but a diary packed full of dates and yet another notch on the ‘events attended' board. While you may find some inspiration along the way, you'll also end up with a lot of useless business cards.
Remember, while networking matters for business growth and lead generation, this is all about building your network, a network that works for you. It's about networking the right way, about being strategic and transformational.
3. Link in
LinkedIn is a great tool for business lead generation and maximising the reach of your business message, but it's also one of the most important tools at our disposal when it comes to sourcing connections.
Today, LinkedIn has a global network of over 200 million users, and while it gives you the opportunity to share your expertise, your strengths and what you know via your own profile, it also opens connecting doors that were previously closed.
Just as you ask friends, family and existing contacts to make introductions in real life, you can do the same in LinkedIn. But — and this is a big but — just as in real life you have to connect on LinkedIn through a two-way conversation.
Remember, this is not about transacting, it's about transforming your network.
If you've got this far in the book you'll know that connection is not simply about hitting the ‘let's connect' button. You have to engage fully, to converse, to share value, and sometimes even connect over a coffee.
Through LinkedIn you can search, find and connect with past work colleagues, university friends or people you met at last week's networking event, or even search globally based on industry, job title and key word. LinkedIn helps you expand your network by offering crucial connections and expertise. Don't underestimate the power of this tool, and remember the first rule of networking: it needs to be a two-way conversation.
If you're looking for more insight on how to make LinkedIn work for you in the right way to transform your network, then you might like to check out branding and LinkedIn expert Jane Anderson (www.janeanderson.com).
Respect everyone's time
When you start connecting and building your network make sure you are respectful of everyone's time — this is the key to exchanging value. Calling someone and asking if you can ‘pick their brains over coffee' is not connecting. Neither is calling people and asking them to be part of your network. And sending a LinkedIn request or email with a lot of questions — well, that is actually an abuse of their time.
Get clear on what help you need and be specific in your request. I guarantee most people will be willing to help and if they can't they are very likely to respond with an explanation. As opposed to ‘Can I meet you for a coffee?' (which is a sure-fire sign that you're going to chew up their precious time), why not get more specific with, say, ‘I'd like to chat with you about the three key things you did to grow your career to becoming a partner' or ‘I'm looking to expand into China and noticed you had managed to do so successfully. I'd really appreciate it if you could share your three key insights.'
When meeting people for the first time, be present. Listen to what they are saying, engage in conversation, and ask questions. Take notes, gather intelligence, be diligent, commit to taking action and make sure to say thank you. I realise this is common sense, but you would not believe how many people seem to forget basic etiquette.
Make sure to continue the conversation. Follow up with a thank you and state the action you will be taking immediately. Maybe include a link to a relevant article or white paper that is aligned to your discussion. A few weeks later reconnect and provide an update on the action taken and the results. This shows respect and appreciation for the time they have shared, as well as your commitment and interest in any lessons learned.
The point is you are taking the lead. You led to the original conversation, which was the catalyst for opportunity and opened the possibility of forming a longer-term relationship.
Set an example
There is no doubt that building a powerful web of you increases your positioning and ability to influence more. With this comes a significant level of personal responsibility and accountability.
It is up to you to:
- be an example to others in your network
- model the behaviour you seek in return
- give knowledge unconditionally
- open doors willingly
- share insight to drive continued growth and success for others
- hold yourself accountable for your actions
- follow up your connections.
Choosing to connect with the people that matter to you will absolutely create opportunity for growth. As Alison Flemming, General Manager Finance Operations, Scentre Group, explains,
My network helps me appreciate my role and what my organisation does; it enables me to bring fresh ideas into my organisation. Knowing a diverse group of people helps bring in diversity of thought to training programs, development sessions and personal coaching, and it helps me think differently so I'm able to add an alternate or fresh perspective to a lot of business discussions internally.
This is the key to value exchange, which is the subject we explore in the final chapter.