On Wednesday, West and his brother took an air taxi down to the small airport near Heartwood.
For about half of the short flight, they talked business—together, they ran the family company, Wright Hospitality, East as CEO and West as chief financial officer.
Once they’d moved on from work issues, Easton stared out the window at the clouds for a while. Now and then, he would glance forward. West would get a view of his profile. Easton was grinning, no doubt thinking about his wife, his sons and probably the daughter he would have in mid-January.
East was one of those guys, a family man to the core, a man hopelessly in love his wife. Even during the years he’d lost touch with her, the years he’d had no clue he had twin sons, Easton had carried a torch for Payton—a woman he’d known for a week while scouting the Heartwood Inn in hopes of convincing Wright Hospitality to add the property to their growing list of upscale and midrange hotels and resorts.
Mimicking his twin, West stared at the clouds out his window, too. He was not, nor had he ever been, a family man. He preferred the single life, enjoyed floating on the surface of things, refusing to take anything or anyone too seriously. The thought of getting all wrapped up in one special woman held zero appeal for him.
And yet today, he couldn’t stop thinking of Alex, remembering the sound of her voice on the phone the other night. She’d come across as mostly matter-of-fact, yet a little bit nervous. She’d seemed on edge to have to deal with him again, to have him staying in the same house with her for the long weekend.
Just thinking about Alex on edge had him grinning at the white puffs of clouds out the window. In his experience of her up till that phone call, she’d almost always been calm, collected and in control.
Except in bed. In bed, she was all fire. She really let go. They’d only had that one night, but that night stuck with him.
And not only because of the great sex.
It was the night he got the news about Leo. He’d been out of his mind with guilt and grief.
Alex had made that night bearable. She’d been a refuge, a true comfort, a miracle in a world full of pain.
Talking to her again had brought last New Year’s night sharply back—both the pain Alex had eased and the pleasure she’d given him. No, he hadn’t spent the months since that night thinking about her. She’d definitely crossed his mind, but only now and then. And when he did let himself think of her, he’d felt a certain tug in the vicinity of his heart, something very close to tenderness.
Maybe he shouldn’t have teased her on the phone. She’d seemed a little put out at his attitude. But talking to her had kind of gotten to him. He’d felt raw, known somehow. Like she really had his number and he needed to watch out, to protect himself from her.
She got under his skin. At the same time, he would always have a soft spot for Alex now. Like a knight riding in on a big white charger—okay, it was an Audi hybrid SUV, but still—Alex had come to his rescue when he’d needed help the most.
By 10:00 p.m. the charming barn wedding was over; the dinner, the toasts, the first dance and the cake-cutting, too. Easton and Payton were now husband and wife.
West’s phone buzzed. He pulled it from his pocket and saw he had a voice mail. It was loud in the barn, so he went outside to check the message and return the call.
As soon as he hung up, he grabbed his coat and left the party without saying anything to anyone. He got in his rental car and took off. In the morning, he would reach out to Easton and explain everything.
Halfway to the rented house on the river where he was staying, he started shaking. He had to pull over to the side of the road.
He got out and stood by the driver’s door, bent at the waist. A light snow was falling. Shivers racked him and his stomach churned. He had a bad feeling he would chuck his cookies any minute now.
The shock was enormous, the guilt even bigger somehow. He felt he might explode from the power and pain of it. His dearest friend had called him yesterday. West hadn’t picked up. It was all about the wedding that day—and today, too. West had planned to reach out to Leo first thing tomorrow.
Too late. He would never be reaching out to Leo again.
A car rolled past, the glare from the headlights sliding over him briefly, then moving on. That happened a few times. He was grateful no one stopped. What would he say if they did?
As he asked himself that question, another pair of headlights flooded over him, pinning him in unwelcome brightness. He heard the crunch of tires on gravel. The light stayed on him. Someone had pulled to the shoulder and stopped right behind his car.
A door opened and shut. Footsteps approached.
Not budging from his crouch, he shouted, “Go away! I’m fine!”
“Weston?” A woman’s voice, low-pitched and calm—commanding, even.
He knew that voice. Didn’t he? “Alex?”
And then she was right there beside him, Payton’s oldest sister, the lawyer from Portland. Her hand touched his back—lightly. Carefully. He got a whiff of her perfume. It was nice, fresh. Not too sweet, almost masculine, really. She asked, “Weston, are you sick?”
He squinted down at dirty snow and her sexy satin high-heeled shoes. “You’re going to ruin those shoes,” he heard himself say.
“Don’t worry about my shoes.” Her voice held a hint of humor now.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was heading back to Portland.” Of course she was. East had mentioned that the older of Payton’s two half sisters was something of a workaholic, that Alex never stayed at Wild Rose Farm for more than a day or two at a stretch.
“Weston. Can you walk?”
Still bent over, staring at the ground, he groaned. “I really don’t want to talk right now.”
“And you don’t have to.” She took his arm. “Come on. I’ll drive you.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere you want to go.”
“Really, I’m okay.”
“This way.” Her voice was so comforting all of a sudden. Like a pillow. Like something soft that you could also depend on. Gently, she guided him upright.
He shook his head. “The car...”
“It will be fine here for a while.”
He just didn’t feel like arguing with her. “All right. Have it your way. Let me get the keys.”
She released his arm and stepped back, those satin shoes crunching gravel. He grabbed the door latch, yanked it open—and remembered that the key was in his pocket. The car had remote start.
Shutting the door again, he beeped the locks. She claimed his arm once more. He let her lead him to her Audi. When she opened the door for him, he slid obediently into the passenger seat and buckled right up.
“Where to?” she asked once she’d settled in behind the wheel.
He gave her directions to the house on the river. The short drive passed in silence.
“Thanks for the ride,” he said when she stopped the car in the driveway. “I’ve got my keys. I’ll be fine.”
She refused to take the hint. Instead, she pushed open her door, swung her legs out and stood. Apparently, she was going inside with him. He didn’t have the energy to insist that she leave, so he said nothing. The path to the front door had been shoveled clear of snow. They went up the front steps together. She followed him in.
The house had an open plan. It was all windows on the river side, with wraparound decks in a sort of rustic contemporary style. They hung their coats in the mudroom area off the entry.
In the great room, she asked, “You want a drink or something? Maybe coffee?” Like she was the one staying here, not him.
He stood by the leather sofa and stared past the dining area table and beyond it at the gleaming stainless-steel appliances, the subway tile backsplashes and quartz counters. “No liquor,” he said. “Not now. And I’m not up for making coffee.”
“It’s fine.” She grabbed one of the two remotes from the low sofa table and pointed it at the fireplace. Flames licked up. He blinked at her in wonder. How could she know that remote worked the fireplace? She was like a general, masterful. Confident. Not one foot soldier would be lost under her command. “Sit down, Weston. I’ll make the coffee.”
He did as she instructed, turning and dropping to the sofa. For a while, he stared out the window at a section of snow-covered deck. He listened to the soft sound of the river rushing by out there in the dark and smelled coffee brewing.
Eventually, she set a tray on the low table and took one of the chairs across from him. “Cream and sugar?”
“Black.”
She filled them each a mug and took a chocolate chip biscotti from the pretty pottery dish next to the carafe. He hadn’t even known there was biscotti. The house was Easton’s, rented when he first returned to Oregon back in October.
“Drink your coffee,” she instructed.
He picked up the mug and had a sip. It went down all right, so he had another. It helped, to have something to do, to feel the warmth of the mug between his hands.
Alex crossed her long, smooth legs and leaned forward in the chair. “Talk to me, Weston.”
He opened his mouth to tell her to mind her own damn business. Instead, he heard himself mutter, “My best friend, Leo, died today. His mother called to let me know.”
She uncrossed those great legs of hers and leaned in closer. He waited for her to say something sympathetic. Then he would sneer at her, let her know she had no idea what he might be feeling right now.
But she didn’t say a word. She simply waited, watching him.
And he started talking about Leo, about how they met when they were assigned as roommates in the dorms freshman year at UCLA.
Right away, they’d hit it off, West and Leo. Leo was smart and fun and bighearted, the life of the party—until he wasn’t. Leo had mood swings. He’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his senior year of high school.
Over their four years at UCLA, Leo and West had developed a bond, a deep bond, one that had held strong even after West moved back to Seattle eight years ago to take his place at Wright Hospitality. “I was best man at his wedding,” West said. “Leo was the happiest guy in the world that day...”
But the marriage only lasted four years. “He started spiraling more often after his marriage broke up. Still, we stayed close, stayed in touch. We managed to get together a few times a year, at least. It hasn’t been the same, though.”
“How so?”
“With Leo in Los Angeles and me in Seattle, we haven’t been able to hang out a couple of times a week the way we used to. Sometimes Leo complains...” West hung his head. “I mean, complained. Because Leo will never complain again, will he?” He sent her a belligerent glance.
Her eyes held only understanding. “No, Weston. He won’t.”
His throat felt so dry. He sipped more coffee. “Where was I?”
“You said that sometimes Leo complained—”
“Right. He always said things were so much better when I was still working in LA. He said once that he wished he had a twin. Leo’s my best friend, but with East, it’s deeper. And in the family, East has always been the solid one, the both-feet-on-the-ground one. In the family, I always felt like the lightweight, you know? East always had all the answers. With Leo, though, it’s the other way around. With Leo, I’m—I was the strong one, the one Leo could count on.”
They sat in silence for a moment. It felt so natural. Like he’d known her forever, long enough to be quiet with her and not feel strange about it.
She asked how Leo had died.
He said, “Hiking Mount Baldy in the San Gabriel Mountains. He was with his cousin Ray. Ray’s a great guy, with a nice wife and two kids. There were frozen spots on the trail. Leo’s mom said it was just an accident, that they were joking around together and they slipped on a patch of ice—both of them. They slid more than a hundred feet straight down. Ray got bumps and bruises. But Leo hit his head somehow. He died instantly...”
“I’m so sorry, Weston.” She said it softly.
“I keep thinking that maybe it wasn’t an accident. That Leo needed me. And I wasn’t there and he decided he couldn’t keep going anymore...”
“You just said he wasn’t alone, that someone trustworthy was with him, someone who slipped and fell when he did.”
“Yeah, but how will I ever know for sure?”
She held his gaze. “Life’s hard enough. Don’t make it harder.”
“Alex, he called me yesterday. I kept meaning to call back...”
“Weston, don’t start blaming yourself.”
“Just call me West.”
She continued to hold him with those knowing eyes of hers. He couldn’t look away. “It’s not your fault.”
He set his mug on the tray. “I have to go down there, to LA tomorrow—and okay, you’ve got a point. His mom seemed really certain he wasn’t depressed, that the fall was purely accidental. I just wish I’d called him back.”
“It was your brother’s wedding day. You had a lot going on.”
“It’s no excuse.”
“Stop. There was no way you could have known what would happen.”
“I want to believe you so bad.” Now, all of a sudden, he couldn’t face her. He braced his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. “But I don’t believe you.”
She got up, circled the low table and sat beside him. Her clean, soothing scent came to him again.
He let her take his hand. Her long, smooth fingers felt just right wrapped in his. He realized he was glad she’d stuck with him, grateful that she hadn’t let him send her on her way.
“I changed my mind,” he said, still holding tight to her hand. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“I know,” she answered quietly, stating a simple fact. “You shouldn’t be alone.”
“If it were any other night I would’ve gone straight to Easton.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that to him, though, not on his wedding night. So you kind of got stuck with me.”
“See? You’re a good brother. Just like it’s very clear you were a great friend to Leo. And I’m not ‘stuck’ with you. I want to be here. I feel right about being here. Sometimes you just need someone. I hope, for tonight, you’ll let that someone be me.”
He was looking deep in those sable-brown eyes of hers again, thinking that really, he hardly knew her. He’d met her for the first time the day before when she drove over from Portland for the wedding rehearsal. Initially, he’d found her smart, career-focused, good-looking and kind of cold. A bit distant.
But now he saw how unfair his initial impression had been. She was amazing, so patient and strong. Unruffled. A lifeline in a world gone horribly wrong.
“Thank you,” he said. “For not leaving me alone.” And then he was leaning closer, magnetized—to her. To the comfort and understanding she offered.
A small gasp of surprise escaped her when she realized that he would kiss her. He half expected her to push him away. She probably should push him away.
But she didn’t. She melted into him.
Her mouth was so soft. He sank into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer.
In his room a little later, they agreed on that night—one night and that would be all. He wasn’t looking for more and neither was she. Nobody in the families ever had to know.
She warned, “You know we’re going to have to sit across from each other at family dinners for the rest of our lives. You think you’re up for that?”
God, he wanted her by then. She’d made this night survivable for him. She was a beckoning golden light in a sea of darkness. He needed to get lost in her, at least for a while.
“I’ve got no problem with seeing you across the table when the family gets together. I want this, you and me, Alex. Just for tonight—but not if you don’t. You need to tell me if you’ve changed your mind.”
She laughed then, the sound husky and warm. “I haven’t changed my mind. You said I was helping you.”
“And you are. You have no idea how much.”
“Well, you’re helping me, too. I’ve never done anything like this before—never had just one night with a man, a night to let go, a night just to feel. I seriously doubt that I’ll ever do it again. But this seems right.”
“For me, too. So right.”
“And, West, I can handle the family dinners. I promise you.”
He stared at her mouth and couldn’t wait to kiss her again. “All right, then?”
She nodded. “We understand each other.”
He reached for her and they fell across the bed together.
She tasted so good. The rest of the world vanished. It didn’t even exist. It was only the two of them, West and Alex. For a while, she was everything, and nothing else mattered. He didn’t think about what would happen tomorrow, about the best friend he’d lost, the friend he would never see again. There was only Alex, soft and sleek and sighing, on fire in his arms.
Nothing else, only her—and he was found instead of lost all through the darkest part of the night.
In the morning early, she drove him to his rental car. They said goodbye. He stood there at the side of the road, hands stuffed in the pockets of his heavy winter jacket, watching her drive away.
Out the window of the small plane, the clouds had thinned to pale wisps. West hadn’t seen Alex since she dropped him off at his car that morning after Easton’s wedding.
But he would see her now.
“What are you grinning about?” Easton was watching him.
West met those blue eyes identical to his own. “Hey, I get a big turkey dinner and I’m not staying in the motor home. Life is good.”
A few minutes later, they landed at the small airport not far from Heartwood where they each had a rental car waiting. A half an hour after that, West stood on the porch of Payton’s cottage hugging first his mom and then his dad. His parents had arrived a couple of hours earlier. He greeted Payton and his nephews.
Penn and Bailey loved the farm. They wanted to do everything at once—ride the ponies their doting grandfather had bought them last year, go get a Christmas tree before Thanksgiving had even happened. They wanted snow, please. Right now. So they could build a snowman.
“Sorry, guys. Did you notice? No snow yet,” Easton said patiently.
“And you already rode the ponies once today,” Payton reminded them.
“Please, Mom,” wheedled Bailey. West could have sworn the two boys had each grown an inch since the last time he saw them a couple of weeks ago.
“One more ride...” Penn piled on the pressure.
Their desperate pleading had the desired effect on the doting grandparents. West’s dad leaned close to Easton and whispered something.
East nodded. “Sure, if you want to.”
“Okay, you two,” said Myron. “Another ride it is. Put on your jackets.”
The boys ran inside and came right back out.
“We’re ready!” crowed Bailey. He grabbed his grandma’s hand and Penn took Grandpa’s. Off the four of them went to tack up the ponies and give the boys a ride around the horse pasture.
About then, Marilyn and Ernesto emerged from Marilyn’s cottage across the way. The two stopped to chat with the boys and the grandparents.
Beside him on the porch, East and Payton were whispering together, pausing for a kiss—and then whispering some more. They were as bad as the grandparents, constantly canoodling. East bent to kiss his wife’s enormous belly and West glanced away just as the door to the next cottage over swung inward.
Alex emerged in a bulky red sweater, jeans and sturdy boots. She looked great. Determined and focused as ever, ready to take on the world and bend it to her will. He might have gotten half-hard, just seeing her again. In her floppy sweater and tan boots, she looked good, more relaxed than last January.
He watched as she greeted his mom and dad. The group broke up, the grandparents and boys moving on toward the barns, Ernesto, Marilyn and Alex coming this way.
A moment later, Alex was mounting the steps. He looked in those big brown eyes and she gave him a little smile. “West, how have you been?”
“Can’t complain. You?”
“Taking it easy.” She had her coffee-brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail. It was a little longer than last January. He remembered how thick it was, warm and silky against his skin as he wrapped a big hank of it slowly around his hand...
Down, boy. Everyone would know how glad he was to see her if he didn’t keep a tight rein on certain memories of that night.
Still, he really wanted to step in nice and close to her, to breathe in that perfume he’d liked so much, maybe give her ponytail a tug.
“Come on inside, everyone.” Payton pushed open the door to her cottage.
They all filed in. East carried his suitcases into the downstairs bedroom. Payton offered coffee.
Alex asked, “West, do you want to unpack first?” Her voice betrayed nothing. She was a cool one, the kind of woman who keeps a man on his toes.
“Good idea.” He shared quick greetings with Marilyn and Ernesto and then followed Alex out. “I’ll just drive my car over.”
“There’s a parking space next to my Audi on the far side of the house.”
“Got it. Want a ride?”
She shook her head. “See you in a minute.” And off she went along the well-tended dirt road that ran in a circle between the cottages.
When he carried his suitcase and laptop up the steps, she was waiting for him, holding open the door.
He entered the great room. It was looking good, with a sofa and chairs grouped around a coffee table on one side, a gas fireplace on the other. A door on the sofa side led back to a small hallway. The sparkling new kitchen area was straight ahead.
“It looks terrific,” he said, and meant it. The floor was dark hardwood with a tan rug under the furniture. The fire licked up through crystals and driftwood behind a glass screen. She had a modern jewel-blue sofa and two comfy-looking leather club chairs.
“Yeah, it came out really nice, I think—come on. Your room is this way.”
She led him into the small square of hallway, sweeping out a hand at the bathroom as they passed it. “We’re sharing the bathroom.” It was basic—a tub and shower combo, a toilet, a sink. The tub tile was vivid turquoise and so was the wall behind the sink.
“It’s pretty,” he said.
She nodded. “And small. Your room is here.”
It was kind of a tight fit in the little hallway. As he eased past her, he got a whiff of her scent. Clean and serene, just as he remembered.
The back bedroom was cozy, all right. The platform bed took up most of the floor space. There was a dresser and a tiny closet. The window looked out on a stretch of garden. In the distance, he could see a red barn and an orchard, a few orange and red leaves still clinging to the trees.
He swung his suitcase onto the bed and set his laptop on the dresser. “Thanks for putting me up.”
“Happy to.”
He wanted to call her a liar, but that would be just asking for trouble—which he was pretty much bound to do eventually. But no need to get up in her face right off the bat. “You know how they are—your family and mine both.”
She leaned in the doorway, folded her arms across her middle and declared in a syrupy tone, “It’s a family holiday. And we all need to be together at the farm.”
“You’d never guess that a year ago, Payton wasn’t speaking to my parents, Easton was scared to death he would never get her to marry him, and you and I hadn’t even met...”
Her eyes had a distant look in them now. “Hey. A lot can happen in a year.”
He offered honestly, “Alex, I was really sorry to hear about your dad.”
She glanced away and then back. Those big eyes were sad now. “We weren’t close. But thank you—and what about your trip to LA? I did wonder how you were doing down there, how you were getting through it all...”
“It was tough.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“But there were good moments. I had some time with Leo’s mom and dad. I felt better after I talked to them. You know I had my doubts about the accident...”
Her reply was somber. “You wondered if it really was an accident.”
He nodded. “Yeah. That. But I saw his cousin Ray—the guy who was with him when it happened?”
“I remember you mentioned Ray, yes.”
“Ray and me, we talked a little. Ray said what Leo’s mom said. That it was an accident, pure and simple. He and Leo were exhausted from the hike up the mountain, but they were having a great time, razzing each other about how they were getting old, getting soft—just, you know, doing what guys do. Ray said they were both laughing when it happened.”
Now her eyes had the sheen of unshed tears. She blinked the moisture away. “It’s so sad to lose your friend.”
“Yeah. I miss him. Leo could be really funny. And he was generous. He was always lending people money and half the time they never paid him back. At the funeral, people got up and said true things about him—good things. They played all his favorite music. He liked those ancient disco bands. The Bee Gees and ABBA. He had a major crush on Donna Summer. As funerals go, it was great.”
“I’m glad that there were good moments.” Her voice was husky, whisper-soft.
“There were, yeah. Real good.”
For several seconds, they just stared at each other. Every word, every touch, every sigh from that night all those months ago seemed to hang in the air between them.
Then she straightened from the doorway. “Listen, I should let you get settled in.”
“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.” He made his voice brisk, like he couldn’t wait to start emptying his suitcase. For a minute or two there, he’d had that feeling about her, same as last year. Like they were really close. Like he could tell her anything and she would listen, she would understand.
But they did have an agreement. What had happened at the house on the river stayed at the house on the river. Right now, they were relatives by marriage and Thanksgiving roommates, no more.
“I shopped for groceries yesterday,” she said. “The fridge and pantry are fully stocked. Help yourself to anything you’re hungry for...”
“Will do. Thanks, Alex.”
When she turned and disappeared into the living area, he wanted to trot along right behind her. But he didn’t. He knew the rules and he fully intended to stick by them.