Ross found Sara all alone in the drawing room—which was a miracle in itself. Since Sara had arrived, the drawing room had been filled almost constantly with people calling, and when that happened he tried to avoid the room.
She was sitting at a small writing desk, a pile of papers next to her, a pen in hand. She was deep in thought, her lower lip caught between her teeth, her eyes focused on something in the distance.
“What are you so deep in thought about?” he asked as he closed the door behind him. At this point he wasn’t worried about propriety; he was just damned frustrated that in the two days since his talk with his mother, he’d not had a moment alone with Sara. There were things he wanted to discuss with her, and dammit, he was tired of waiting to get her alone.
“Ross!” She looked up at him with the widest smile. It warmed his heart more than he was able to put into words. She put down her pen and folded her hands on the table.
“I’ve missed you,” he said softly, stopping in front of her.
Something in her eyes flickered. Something he wasn’t able to read clearly. He felt like an untried youth with his first love—nervous and anxious and afraid he would do or say something wrong. He was far from an untried youth, and Sara was not the first woman he’d been alone with, but she was the only woman who mattered.
“What are you writing?” he asked, glancing down at the papers. It looked like lists. Lists and lists and more lists.
“I’m jotting down ideas for the school I want to open.”
“Ah. The school.”
Her eyes darkened in disappointment. “You don’t think this is a good idea,” she said flatly.
He touched her chin with the pad of his thumb. “Did I say that?”
“No, but—”
“I think it’s a marvelous idea. Very ambitious.” He pulled his hand away because it only made him want to touch her more.
“Yes. I’m beginning to realize that.” She glanced down at her papers. “But I’m convinced that I was meant to do this, and I have nothing but time on my hands.” She pressed her lips together. “There’s no news on the letter writer?”
“I’m afraid not. Our friend hasn’t returned to Mrs. Kettles, and no more letters have been sent.”
“Very strange. It’s as if he’s fallen off the earth. Or maybe moved on?” She sounded too hopeful.
“I doubt that. He went to a lot of effort to write all those letters and to follow you to London.” He didn’t want to frighten her, but he also didn’t want her thinking that all was well enough to let her guard down. He had a feeling that was exactly what this person was waiting for, and that was when they needed to be most diligent.
Her shoulders drooped and she rubbed her brows. “I just want this over with. I’m tired of being a prisoner, and I’m sure you and your mother would like your privacy back.”
“Don’t even think that.”
She looked up at him in surprise, and he realized he’d spoken too harshly, but the thought of Sara not being here when he came home left his heart heavy.
“Forgive me,” she said hesitantly. “I didn’t mean to anger you.”
“Ah, Sara.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t anger me. I just don’t want you to leave.”
“I have to at some point, Ross. I can’t live here forever.”
A long silence passed while he contemplated what to say. He wanted to do this right, but he didn’t know what right was. When he’d proposed to Meredith, he’d worked it all out with her father first, but he didn’t want to do that with Sara. He wanted it to be their decision, and yet he hesitated because he didn’t know her feelings toward him. Oh, he knew she liked him well enough and that when they kissed she was overcome with passion for him, but was that enough to last a lifetime?
“Why not?” he finally said, settling on the bold truth, which he knew she would appreciate.
Her eyes widened. “Why not what?”
“Why can’t you live here forever?”
“Because it’s not done. People will talk and gossip.”
“Not if we make it legal.”
Her lips parted and she stared at him for the longest time. “I don’t…What do you mean?”
Suddenly, the Duke of Rossmoyne lost all of his confidence. He’d never felt so unsure of anything in his life. He was certain of his feelings for her and what he wanted with her. His insecurities lay with Sara. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he laid it all on the line and she rejected him.
He swept his hand toward her papers. “This project of yours would be much easier if you had the power of the dukedom behind you.”
Her eyes flickered to the papers, then back to him. “You already said you would help me, and I appreciate any help you can give me.”
“But if you were to become the Duchess of Rossmoyne, many more doors would be open to you.” He held his breath as he watched so many emotions cross her face. He fastened his hope upon the joy that came first and tried to ignore the panic that chased it away.
“Sara!”
Sara jerked her gaze to the woman who swept through the drawing room doors. She stood suddenly, her chair nearly tipping over. “Mother?”
Ross groaned and closed his eyes. Why now? Why would her mother arrive now, when his very life hung in the balance?
Sara looked at him in alarm as her mother hurried across the room to envelop Sara in a hug. “Oh, Sara, I have missed you so.”
Sara looked at him over her mother’s shoulder and shook her head slightly. He wasn’t certain what she was trying to tell him, but he nodded anyway.
She extricated herself from her mother’s grasp and stepped back. “Mother, what are you doing here?”
“I heard you were in town, and I knew I had to come see you. Oh…” Lady Carolina Grandview finally noticed Ross standing there. She executed a quick curtsy. “Good afternoon, Your Grace.”
“Lady Grandview. It is good to see you again.” He didn’t miss her hesitation, nor the grief that flashed across her face. Once again his guilt dug its ugly claws into him. Would he ever be finished with this? Will he ever feel as if he had not let this family down?
“Mother.” Sara took her mother’s hand. “I’m surprised that you’re here. You rarely come to London.”
“Don’t be silly, I come to London occasionally.”
“You do? I didn’t know,” Sara murmured, and Ross could tell she was not pleased to learn this.
“Because you are always in the country. If you came to town more, you would know,” Lady Grandview said in censure.
Sara pressed her lips together. “Someone has to stay with Father.”
Ross had to smile when Lady Grandview’s expression mirrored what Meredith’s might have been. Lady Grandview resembled her daughter to an almost alarming degree. She was an older, watered-down version, but there was definitely Meredith in her.
“Your father is more than capable of taking care of himself,” Lady Grandview said.
Sara quickly looked at Ross, and he knew that if he had not been standing there, she would have said more. He wanted to tell her not to mind him and to carry on, but he refrained, even though he desperately wanted to know what she would have said.
“Nevertheless,” Sara said instead. “It’s good to see you again. It’s been far too long.”
“You are more than welcome to stay with me in Bath,” Lady Grandview said as she settled into a chair and fluffed out her skirts. There was disapproval in her tone, and Ross wondered where the breach in their relationship lay. Sara had made it seem like her mother had abandoned her family, but apparently, Sara was not blameless.
Sara’s jaw worked and her eyes flashed, but her mother wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see the telltale warning.
“So,” Lady Grandview said after her skirts were to her liking, “what are you doing in London, and why are you staying with the duke and his mother?”
Sara swallowed as she sank into a chair and folded her hands into her lap. Ross made his way to the fireplace and leaned against it, interested in hearing her answer. He would take his cue from her.
“Just visiting,” she said weakly and not at all convincingly, flickering a glance at Ross in a clear plea for help.
“When I heard she was in town, I invited her to stay here,” he said. “No use opening up your townhouse for the little time she said she would be here. Besides, we were practically family at one time, and I still consider you and Lord Grandview family.” He would like to consider them family for other reasons but wisely kept his mouth shut on that.
Lady Grandview looked at him steadily, as if not quite ready to believe him. “That’s very kind of you,” she said. “But now that I am in town and have opened the house, Sara will stay with me.” She leveled him a challenging look.
While he wanted to argue with her, he merely tipped his head in quiet acceptance, though he was far from accepting. He looked at Sara in warning. There was no way he was letting her leave his protection, but he would not reveal the real purpose of why she was residing here. By the desperate looks she was tossing him, he gathered she didn’t want her mother to know about the letters.
He narrowed his eyes at Sara. Tell her.
Sara quickly shook her head and turned to her mother with a smile.
Angry and fearful because he knew her mother would win in this and take Sara away from him, Ross pushed away from the wall. “I will inform my mother that you are here, Lady Grandview. And I will have someone bring some refreshments.”
Sara’s nervous gaze followed him as he left the drawing room. It took him a few moments to calm himself before he went in search of his mother.