Jake shifted, trying to make himself comfortable on the bed of straw in the stall. Daggers of pain shot through his leg, and he knew the only way to relieve the pain was to move it around until the spasms subsided. It had been a mistake planning to spend the night in the barn. He hadn't been able to get to get Maddie out of his mind, and he knew trying to sleep here was even worse than his makeshift bed in the rocking chair on the porch.
He'd never even considered sleeping anywhere else until tonight, but the questions she'd asked and the way she'd touched him so gently brought back memories he'd spent years trying to lock away. Memories of the women he'd sworn to protect. Memories of the women who had died because he'd failed. A few more minutes with Maddie on that front porch, comfortable like an old married couple, and he would have let down his guard and told her everything, pouring out his soul. Not a smart thing to do. No, he'd live with his guilt privately, as he had since the day his mother and sister were murdered.
He should sleep on the porch though, he thought. He didn't want to face Maddie again tonight, but what if the one time he wasn't there, Tyler showed up? Yep, he had to go back. He sat up and massaged his aching thigh. The motion didn't help, and he knew it was going to take a good ten minutes of walking to ease it.
Slowly, he got up and brushed off a few pieces of hay, then pulled on his boots. With one hand, he rubbed his tired eyes, then reached to the top of the wooden partition between the stalls for his gunbelt. The darkness made it difficult to see, but he knew it should be there. Right there. Damn! Where was it!
Then he remembered. He'd left it on Maddie's porch. He'd been in such a hurry to get away from her and the questions dragging up memories he'd just as soon forget that he'd left his gunbelt slung over the porch railing.
"Damn!" he muttered, sliding the bar over the barn door open. That kind of stupidity could get him killed! He hoped he wouldn't wake her, but he had to get his gun back. How he could have left it there, he didn't understand. In his line of work, having his gun close by could mean the difference between life and death. Never in all the years he'd been trailing criminals had his gun ever been out of arm's reach. Until now.
A faint light flickered through the grimy barn window. What was it? It wasn't the moon. Moonlight didn't waver the way this light did. If not that, then what?
When he opened the barn door, he saw her. The light from the lantern haloed Maddie in a faint light, and dressed in the filmy white nightdress with her fiery hair flowing free around her shoulders, she looked as close to an angel as Jake would ever hope to see. Her face was pale, and it was then he saw the terror in her eyes.
His glance darted into the shadows, and then he saw it, the four footed animal with yellow eyes blazing back at him. As it warily moved into the circle of light, Jake tensed. He'd seen coyotes before, hell, he'd come face to face with them more times than he could count. This one, though, was different. Its pale fur glistened in the lamplight, but Jake noticed it was matted in spots. At this time of year, coyotes should be fairly well built after feeding on the smaller animals. This one, though, had no extra meat on its bones, and as it took a couple more steps across the hardened dirt, Jake could almost see its rib cage moving under the skin. But it was the look in its eyes that sent a shiver of apprehension through him.
Desperate.
That was the look. This animal was hungry, and Maddie was unlucky enough to get between him and the henhouse, the coyote's next meal.
Maddie hadn't moved, and for that Jake was grateful. Any sudden movement might set the coyote off, and it would attack anyone in his way. Damn, if only he had his gun. A faint breeze stirred for only a few moments, enough for the thin fabric of Maddie's nightdress to move, and Jake noticed his gunbelt hanging limply at Maddie's side.
Softly, Jake spoke. "Maddie."
She looked over at him, as if she was startled by his appearance.
"Move very slowly," Jake said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Take the gun out of the holster."
She didn't move. She was frozen to the spot.
"Maddie!" His voice was a little louder this time, but she still wasn't moving. Her eyes were riveted to the animal, but she slowly reached down and took the gun out of its holster. With trembling fingers, she lifted it, aiming it directly at the animal.
"Shoot, Maddie!"
She didn't move, just held the gun in front of her. Hell, didn't she realize what was going to happen here? That mangy coyote wasn't a man who knew better than to argue with somebody holding a gun. It was a desperate, hungry animal who had no qualms about killing whatever stood in its way.
The coyote took another step, its yellow eyes blazing into Maddie. Its ears flattened against his head, and it slunk a little lower to the ground. It was preparing to attack.
"Maddie! Fire the damn gun!"
Still, she made no move. The animal made no sound, but Jake knew what would happen next if he didn't do something. Quickly.
It was obvious Maddie wasn't going to be able to kill the coyote. It was up to him, but without his gun, what could he use to get to the animal before it managed to attack Maddie?
He had to do something, and the only thing he had within reach that he could use as a weapon was the pocket knife his father had given him when he was a boy. He used to have pretty good aim, but it had been years since he'd thrown it. After his mother's death, he'd spent hours practicing his aim, planning in his child's mind to one day meet up with her murderers and slice them to pieces. He'd outgrown that thinking, and the practicing had diminished until finally, the knife was used for what it was intended.
Now, he had to pray he still had that eye.
The seconds seemed like minutes as Jake, a fraction of an inch at a time, moved his hand and reached into his back pocket and withdrew the knife. Hell, it looked hardly big enough to even nick the beast, never mind kill it. But it was the best he could do.
A strange sound escaped the coyote's throat, and it crouched, ready to attack. Its lips drew back, baring its teeth, and its hair seemed to suddenly bristle.
With one swift movement, Jake threw the knife, hoping the coyote would stand still for just a few more seconds. The knife whistled through the air, its blade gleaming as light from the moon danced along the edge. The coyote, its attention drawn to the movement, lunged at Maddie.
A piercing howl split the night, and suddenly the animal dropped in a heap at Maddie's feet. Its eyes were still open, yellow orbs staring up at her. Blood seeped out of a wound in its side, darkening the animal's pale coat. Maddie stood still, the gun still aimed at the dead animal, her gaze focused on the heap of matted fur at her feet.
"Maddie." She heard Jake's voice calling to her, but she couldn't take her eyes off the lifeless form lying in the dirt. The handle of his knife protruded from the animal's side. Her breath came in short gasps, and her knees trembled as the realization what what had just happened hit her fully. The coyote was dead. But she hadn't had the courage to kill it. Her arm dropped to her side, the gun hanging limply in her fingers.
A low moan escaped her lips, and she felt her knees buckle. Then she felt Jake's arms around her, drawing her to her feet. "Maddie," Jake said brusquely. "Maddie, answer me."
She stared at Jake, wondering how it would have felt to die under the coyote's claws. If Jake hadn't been there ...
"You're okay," Jake assured her. "The coyote's dead."
Maddie nodded, finally understanding that she owed her life to this man gazing at her with such concern and ... what was that expression in his eyes?
"Pretty", she said softly.. "It's so pretty."
"What?" Jake's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What's pretty?"
"I've always loved mother of pearl."
"What are you talking about?"
"The knife. The handle. It's mother of pearl, isn't it?"
Jake was staring at her as if she'd completely lost her mind. In fact, she was beginning to wonder that herself.
"Yeah. I think so," he muttered.
Her glance slid again to the knife. "Notice how the moonlight catches the different colors--" Heavens, what was wrong with her? She'd almost been killed, and she could think of nothing else other than the blue and pink reflection on the handle of a pocket knife.
"Why the hell didn't you fire?" Jake's voice was gruff, filled with anger and ... something else. Was it fear? He couldn't say exactly, but he knew well enough the fist of fear that had gripped him when he'd looked out the barn door and seen Maddie facing that desperate beast.
If anything had happened to her ... Jake didn't want to finish the thought. Closing the gap between them, he took the lantern from her hand and rested it on the hard earth. Her gaze followed him, and when they were mere inches apart, he saw the fear still in her eyes.
Maddie gazed up at him, realizing for the first time exactly how close she'd come to dying, and who was responsible for saving her life. She would have died. She knew that. And she had nobody but herself to blame. She hadn't been able to think clearly, to pull the trigger. And if it hadn't been for Jake's quick actions, the coyote would have killed her. She was sure of it.
But she couldn't let Jake know how terrified she was. He'd been telling her all along she shouldn't be out here by herself, and this would only prove him right. Lord forgive her for the lies she was going to tell.
"I was going to..." she began. "I really was. I was just waiting..."
"I know," he murmured. "I know."
"You do?"
Jake nodded.
She needed to let him think she would have protected herself. She couldn't stand it if he told her otherwise. Not now.
"You needed to aim properly to make sure you killed him, right?"
A tremulous smile curved her lips. "Exactly. If I just wounded him, he'd attack. I was just making sure, that's all. And then you threw the knife."
"Just taking precautions, that's all."
"But you know I would have killed him, don't you?"
With his thumb and forefinger, Jake cradled her chin and forced her to look up at him. His eyes really were the most beautiful shade, almost as if tiny shreds of gold dust had been planted in them.
"Yes, I know." He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely, and she could feel his heart pounding beneath his shirt. His grip tightened, and Maddie wanted nothing more than to say like this forever. Safe. She'd always be safe with Jake. She knew that.
Suddenly, the tears began, and she couldn't prevent them slipping down her cheeks. Yes, she thought, Jake would look after her while he was here, but that wouldn't do her any good after he was gone. Then what? What about the next time? Next time, the animal - or whatever threatened her - would win, because she was too afraid to take action.
Tears. What was it about a woman's tears that made a man want to do anything in his power to make them stop?
Trying to keep his mind off the scent of wildflowers wafting to his nostrils or the feel of her breasts pressed firmly against his chest, he stroked her back, doing his best to comfort her until her tears stopped.
Her hands rested on his bare chest, burning an imprint into his skin. Then slowly, so slowly, she slid her hands to his shoulders and wrapped her arms around his neck. The movement of her hands left a trail of burning desire in its wake, and when her fingers twirled the ends of his hair, desire snaked right from there to every nerve ending in his body.
Her breath was warm against his neck, her lips moving against his bare skin. She had no idea what she was doing to him, he realized, but the torture she was inflicting on him was almost unbearable. God help him, he couldn't resist her.
She pulled back for a moment and smiled up at him through her tears, and Jake thought no, he knew the invitation blazed in her eyes. She lifted her palm to his cheek, and their eyes met. For what might have been an eternity, neither one willing or able to break the spell. "Jake," she murmured. "Thank you."
Lowering his head, he touched her lips with his, tasting the salt from her tears. He thought he heard a gentle sigh, but when his tongue traced the curve of her bottom lip, he definitely heard a soft moan.
He'd kissed her before, and at the time, he'd thought he would never experience a sensation more powerful. He'd been wrong. Her soft lips parted, and he eased his tongue into her mouth. When her tongue met his, the contact rocked him to the bone.
His arms tightened around her, and she pressed her body closer to his. He could feel her burning flesh through the thin fabric of her nightdress, the hardened nubs of her nipples pressed against his bare chest. He groaned, sure that if he didn't pull away now, he might take her right then, right there in the middle of the yard.
Warning signals flashed through his brain. Stop! Now! But in spite of the emotional control and good sense he prided himself in, he knew that he had to touch her or go out of his mind. He'd bedded women before. He'd enjoyed the experience, and been satisfied. But never had he ached so badly. Never had his blood boiled. Until now.
His hands slid over her her hips, her back, until his hands cupped her breasts. His thumb teased her nipple through the gauzy fabric of her nightdress. She murmured something he couldn't understand, then arched against him.
He groaned as he felt the junction of her thighs pressing against his swollen manhood. He kissed her again, deeply, his tongue ravaging her mouth, her tongue meeting his thrust for thrust. He drew back, his breath came in ragged gasps. She was sending him a message, he believed that, but he needed to see her eyes, to be sure she wanted this as much as he did.
Maddie did want this. More than she'd ever wanted anything in her life, she wanted to feel Jake's lips on hers, his breath on her skin, his hands touching her. And worse, much worse, she wanted to feel him inside her, spilling his seed.
What had happened to her? In the three years of her marriage, she had never wanted Caleb the way she wanted Jake. At first, their relations were pleasant, she supposed, but never had she felt the earth rocking sensations she felt at the mere touch of Jake's hand on her breast. Desire pooled inside, and ribbons of sensation streaked through her. Heaven help her, she wanted this man.
But she had to stop! She couldn't satisfy him. She was aware of that, and she would rather suffer the agony of unfulfilled passion than see the look of disgust on Jake's face when he realized she was frigid. She couldn't bear to hear his words mocking her as Caleb's had. She wasn't a whole woman, he'd reminded her often enough. A real woman would be willing to do whatever her husband asked to please him. A real woman would be able to keep her husband in her bed, not force him to seek satisfaction elsewhere. A real woman would ...
Jake was watching her, the gold dust in his eyes glittering. He was breathing rapidly, and she could feel his heart racing. It would be so easy to draw his lips to hers, to answer the unspoken question in his eyes. And she was so tempted to do just that.
But no! She wouldn't. It was better to end it now, before he learned the truth.
"Jake ..." she began. Heavens, if only he wouldn't look at her like that. It made it so difficult to think clearly. Looking away, she added in a soft voice, "I'm sorry. I can't ..."
Jake traced her jawline with his thumb, the friction from the calluses he'd received working for her these past few days creating slivers of desire. "I understand."
"You do?"
He nodded. "I do. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have done that ... I mean, it hasn't been long since your husband ... well, you know ..."
Maddie glanced up at him. He believed she was rejecting him because she was still grieving about Caleb. If he only knew the truth. Maybe it was best if he did believe that, though. Making the split second decision to allow him to go on thinking she was a grieving widow, she didn't answer.
"Go inside before your mother wakes up and wonders where you are," Jake said. "I'll take care of our visitor."
"Thank you," she said, handing Jake his gunbelt, then turning away. "For everything," she murmured under her breath as she crossed the yard, making a point of not looking at the dead coyote sprawled in the dirt.
Jake watched her go, the gentle sway of her hips making the ache in his groin almost unbearable. She turned and gave him a wobbly smile as she opened the cabin door, then disappeared inside.
His glance slipped to the coyote. Dried blood stained the dirt, and the coyote's unseeing eyes stared up at him. Well, he said to the dead animal, at least now I have something to keep me busy for the rest of the night, because it's for damned sure I won't be getting any sleep.
He cursed. Of all the women in the territory, why did he have to want the one woman he couldn't have?