Jake jammed the spade into the hardened soil, perched his foot on the flat edge of the blade, and pushed. His shoulders strained at the weight as he dug the dirt and heaved it into the heap beside him. The moon was high in the sky, providing enough light to work by, but every now and then, a cloud flitted in front of it, turning the earth into a black void.
He paused in his digging and rested his arms on the handle. He'd been digging for the better part of an hour. The hole was much bigger than he needed to bury the coyote, but somehow, the physical exertion relaxed him, keeping his thoughts at bay. Thoughts of Maddie standing there in the yard, frozen in fear, her trembling fingers pointing the gun at the desperate animal. She would never have pulled the trigger. He knew that. And deep inside, he knew that Maddie knew it, too. She'd tried to tell him that she was prepared to shoot, but was she really trying to convince him, or herself?
Maybe he'd been wrong to go along with her, to let her think he believed her. Maybe he should have forced her to face the reality of what would have happened if he hadn't been there. And maybe he should have tried again to persuade her to give up this obsession she had with being so independent, and move to town where she'd be safe.
But one look at her face, and he couldn't do that. She had needed him to believe in her, and right or wrong, he couldn't refuse her unspoken request. Yes, he decided reluctantly, he'd done the right thing. For now. Later, when it was time for him to leave, he'd have to point out the truth.
An hour later, Jake was using the flat end of the shovel blade to tamp down the dirt in the makeshift grave. It was almost dawn, he realized, glancing at the moon hanging low over the Grand Tetons. Favoring his leg, which had ached relentlessly throughout the night, he made his way out of the forested area behind the house and into the yard. The dark stains soaking into the dirt in the yard were the only reminder that anything had happened here that night. With the tip of the shovel, he moved the dirt around, picking up small shovelfuls and turning the dirt, then patting it down.
There, he thought when he was finished. Unless Maddie brings it up, there's no reason to ever mention this again.
Maddie yawned. It was going to be a very long day. It had been impossible to sleep after the terror of her encounter with the desperate coyote. If Jake hadn't been there ...
The thought kept running through her mind. If Jake hadn't been there, there was no doubt she'd be dead by now. Then what would happen to her mother? Who would take care of her?
Jake had saved her life. If not for the fact that he was waiting here for Tyler Boone to show up, she would have been alone. And the coyote would have killed her. But, if Jake hadn't left his gun on the porch, she wouldn't have had reason to be out there in the first place. So this was all Jake's fault anyway.
Even as the thoughts sprang into her mind, she realized what she was doing. She was making excuses, trying to justify her inability to protect herself. She would have fired the gun eventually, wouldn't she?
No. The answer was plain and simple. Honesty being uppermost, she had to admit she would never have pulled the trigger. She didn't have the courage. For the first time since Caleb died, she doubted her own capabilities. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be independent. She wanted to make a life for herself and her mother here on the homestead she'd worked so hard to keep together.
Until last night, she'd truly believed she could do it. Her financial situation, while not as good as she'd like, was improving every month, and with hard work and a little luck, she'd be able to pay off all Caleb's debts, buy the supplies she'd need to expand her soap and candle business, and perhaps even start putting some money away in a nest egg for the future.
But what was the point if she couldn't even deal with a stray animal? This was the first time she'd had to face this, but living in the wilderness, she doubted it would be the last. What would happen next time?
Maddie turned at the sound of the bedroom door opening. She smiled at Emmaline. "'Good morning, Mama. Ready for breakfast?"
Emmaline shuffled across the kitchen, taking a pewter mug off the shelf as she passed. "Just some coffee, I think. I'm not very hungry this morning."
"What about some flapjacks and eggs?"
"No. Just coffee."
"Now Mama, you know you have to eat and keep up your strength," Maddie insisted, feeling as if she was dealing with a child. "You know what Doc Myers told you."
Emmaline waved her hand, as if she was shooing away a fly. It was the motion she always used when she was dismissing Maddie's concerns. "That old quack doesn't know anything. I know full well what's wrong with me, and I don't need somebody who isn't fit to treat a dog trying to tell me what to do."
"But Mama--"
"I'll eat later. I'm a bit tired right now."
Maddie sighed. For the past few days Maddie had noticed how pale Emmaline had become, and the bluish tinge that had appeared around her mouth. She seemed to have trouble catching her breath, too. Even now, just walking across the kitchen, her chest seemed to heave, as if she'd run a mile.
A knot formed in Maddie's stomach. Emmaline's health was getting worse. Her heart was failing, and there was nothing any of them could do for her. Doc's standard treatment was to encourage her to eat and get plenty of rest. But there was no medicine to reverse the strain being put on her heart, and eventually ...
Tears filled Maddie's eyes at the thought. Stop it! she scolded herself. As her mother had always reminded her, there was no point worrying about something you have no control over.
The hinge on the back door creaking as it opened brought Maddie's thoughts back to the present. Jake was smiling at her, and somehow, just that smile gave her peace. He took off his stained Stetson and hung it on the hook behind the door, then slung his gunbelt over the back of the kitchen chair before he sat down. "Mornin', ladies," he said, "Looks like that hinge needs a little grease," he commented. "I'll take care of it directly after breakfast. Smells good, Maddie."
Maddie slid four flapjacks and three sausages on to a plate and put it in front of Jake. She poured him a mug of steaming coffee, then turned back to the skillet on the stove.
"How are you feeling, Emmaline?" Jake asked, slicing off a chunk of sausage. "You aren't having breakfast?"
"I'm a little tired, and I'm not hungry." Emmaline gave Maddie a withering look, then turned to Jake. "Maddie's angry with me because she thinks I should eat more," she added, the fine wrinkles in her face deepening as she returned Jake's smile. "I'm sure it's just the heat."
Jake nodded, apparently agreeing with her, but Maddie caught the quick glance he flashed at her, letting her know he'd noticed the change in her, too.
Maddie turned toward the two people sitting at the table, a fork in her hand. "Mama, I'm not angry. I'm just worried about you. You haven't eaten hardly anything for the past few days."
"That's true, Emmaline," Jake put in. "Even the birds in the trees outside are eating more than you are lately.
He flashed her a disarming smile. "What about just one flapjack and a piece of sausage. Think you could manage that. Or maybe a soft-cooked egg. I'm sure Maddie wouldn't mind making one for you."
"Well ..."
He leaned over and whispered in her ear, but loud enough for Maddie to hear. "You know Maddie's never going to leave you alone if you don't eat something. I haven't been around here long, but I've already found out the only way to keep her quiet is to do what she wants."
Maddie watched as Jake and Emmaline chuckled together. All right, Maddie, thought, she was the butt of the joke, but if that's what it took to get her mother to eat, she'd gladly allow them to make fun of her as much as they wanted to.
"Well, maybe one flapjack ..."
Jake bounded up and took a plate from the stack on the shelf above the stove. He was standing so close to her, she could smell the clean scent of soap, and noticed that he'd shaved. He grinned conspiratorially at Maddie, and again she noticed the slight chip in his front tooth. Maybe one day, she'd ask him how that happened. Right now, that smile was shooting streaks of desire through her to the point she could barely hold the skillet handle steady as she put a flapjack on the plate. His fingers touched hers as he took the plate from her hand, and she jerked her hand away, but not before she noticed the look in his eye. He was feeling the same way. She knew that. The corners of his eyes crinkled, and the gold flecks in them flashed as he gave her a knowing smile, then he turned away.
"Here you go, Emmaline. What about some butter and syrup for those?"
"Well, maybe a little," she replied, "but you know a lady has to watch her waistline."
"Your waistline is just perfect enough that every man in town is looking," he said with a wink.
Emmaline grinned while Jake took his time attending to her mother's needs. Watching them, she realized that Jake seemed to be enjoying cajoling and flirting with her mother as much as her mother was enjoying his attention. For the umpteenth time, she wondered about Jake's parents, where they were, if the attention he showered on Emmaline was his way of making up for the attention he couldn't give to his own mother.
As she bustled around the kitchen, Maddie kept one eye on them, chatting and smiling, Maddie's heart filled with love. Love for her mother, and ... heavens, she realized, love for Jake.
When had this happened? Gazing at him, the realization hit her as soundly as a blow from a hammer. Maddie Boone, the woman who swore she'd never get involved with another man, was falling in love with Jake Langford.
He caught her gaze, and she turned away, her face flaming with embarrassment. What would he think of her if he knew? A wanton woman who couldn't live without a man in her bed for more than a few months after she buried her husband? If he knew the truth, he'd know she hadn't had a man in her bed for well over a year, and that she never would again. Because even though she was falling in love with Jake, she could never let him know. She could never satisfy a man physically, and a man like Jake would need a woman who could match the unleashed passion she'd sensed in him since he arrived.
Besides, she didn't really know him. He could be just like Caleb, she reasoned. He'd been a the perfect gentleman when they were courting, too. Kind, considerate, always eager to please her. It was only after she had the ring on her finger, and they were alone here that he'd changed. Before they were married, she'd never seen the ugly side of him, the temper that flared from nowhere, the violence a few drinks could unleash.
Maddie shivered, even though the perspiration from the heat trickled down her back. Usually, she made a point of not thinking about those days, but right now, she wanted to remember. To remember the one reason she couldn't afford to ever let Jake know how she felt about him.
"Maddie!"
Her gaze spun to Jake's, then to the stove. Thick acrid smoke spiralled upwards from the blackened mass in the skillet. She grabbed the skillet and ran to the back door, then tossed the ruined flapjack on the ground outside. One of the kittens appeared from behind the house, and gingerly crept closer to the mass. Running down the steps, Maddie called to the kitten, trying to prevent him from burning himself. She reached down and scooped him up just before his nose touched the smoldering mass.
With the kitten in one arm, and the skillet in the other hand, Maddie climbed the steps and went back inside the kitchen, leaving the door open to let the fresh air into the smoky kitchen.
Jake looked up from pouring Emmaline another cup of coffee and grinned. "Looks like you might have to bake some of those cookies today, the ones with the cinnamon and raisins."
Maddie frowned. Why would she be baking cookies today?
"Gotta do something to make this place smell good since you tried to burn it down," he teased. "And I'll even scrub the skillet for you while you do it."
Maddie couldn't help herself. She chuckled. "How can I refuse an offer like that?"
"That was a fine meal, Maddie." Jake leaned back in his chair and swiped the napkin across his mouth. "A fine meal, indeed."
Maddie's cheeks flushed, and Jake smiled. It was unusual to find a woman who was embarrassed at the smallest compliment, but it warmed him that she was that way. She hadn't had many compliments in her marriage, he figured. Not that he was surprised. From what he'd heard about Caleb Boone, he wasn't a man given to thinking about anybody but himself. It was a shame, he decided. A woman like Maddie had plenty of assets to compliment, besides the smooth lips he was aching to kiss again, and the full breasts he wanted to feel in his hands.
Caleb Boone was a fool. There was no other word for it.
"Would you like me to bring coffee and cookies into the parlor?" she asked.
"That would be nice." Jake stood up and held out his hand to help Emmaline out of the chair. He was pleased to see that she'd eaten her fair share of the meal. She'd even managed to eat two of the fluffy biscuits Maddie had baked.
Emmaline took Jake's hand and slowly got up. She seemed shaky on her feet, and for a moment, Jake wondered if she was going to topple over. Then she gave him a soft smile. "I think I'll leave the two of you alone," she said. "That huge meal is making me sleepy."
Concern, and if he really wanted to be honest, fear, snaked through him. Something about the way her skin seemed almost transparent, and the way she seemed to be almost gasping for air, unsettled him. In only a few days, six to be exact, this woman had come to mean a great deal to him. The fact that she was ill, and didn't seem to want medical treatment, worried him more than he ever figured he would ever worry about another person again.
He followed behind as Emmaline shuffled across the kitchen, as much to be there in case she lost her balance as to go into the parlor. As she closed her bedroom door behind her, he realized how much he would miss her when he left. He would miss a lot of things when he left here.
Waiting for Maddie, Jake glanced around the parlor, taking in the details he'd missed the night he arrived. He hadn't been in this room since then until now, and for the first time, he noticed how welcoming and cozy the room was. The soft candlelight gave the room a golden glow, and Jake could feel the tension in his body disappear.
Maddie's personal touches were everywhere, in the embroidered pillows on the settee, the starched curtains at the window, the hooked rug in front of the fireplace. Framed photographs adorned the mantel. His brows knitted in a frown as he studied the photographs. Not one of Caleb, not one of Maddie and Caleb together. Was she so grief-stricken that she couldn't bear to see his face?
For the first time, he noticed a small table tucked into the corner of the room beside the piano. A chess set was lined up on the checkered top, and Jake crossed to the table to take a closer look. Picking up one of the pieces, he held the king in his hand. Hand-carved ivory, he reasoned. It would be worth a lot of money if she sold it. So why hadn't she? It would be enough money to pay off the homestead, and give her the nest egg she was working so furiously to build.
"Here you are." The voice startled him, and he turned, the chess piece still in his hand.
Maddie set the tray down on the table and came to stand beside him. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Jake nodded. "Do you play?"
"Not really," she replied. Her voice softened. "It belonged to my father. It's the only thing I have left of him. He was teaching me to play when he died ..." Her voice trailed off, and Jake regretted even mentioning it. She'd had a lot of sadness in her life, and he was sorry he'd reminded her of it.
"I'm sorry ..."
"My mother sold everything else when she came to stay with me, but she kept this. She knew how much I cherished those times with him, and she thought I would like to have it."
"Care to play a game with me?" Jake asked. He hadn't played in years, but since she hadn't either, maybe they would be a good match for each other.
Her lips curved into a soft smile that sent his heart flip-flopping through his chest. There was something about this woman that brought out the strangest feelings in him. How could just a smile do that to a man?
"I'd like that."
Ten minutes later, Jake faced Maddie across the chess table, his mug of coffee forgotten beside him. The plate of cookies had long since disappeared, and he felt more relaxed and content than he'd ever been in his life.
Her elbows were resting on the edge of the table, and one hand was raised, poised above the pieces. Her brows were knitted together in a scowl, her gaze focused on the pieces on the board. Her teeth nibbled on her bottom lip, and he had the unreasonable urge to catch that lip in his own teeth. She ran her tongue across her bottom lip, and Jake felt the hardness begin. Again. Lord, the woman had no idea what she did to him.
Suddenly she moved her queen into position, straightened, and grinned. "Checkmate."
"What?"
"Checkmate. I win."
Maddie's laughter filled the room, and even though Jake wasn't known for losing anything gracefully, somehow this time, he didn't mind as much.
"Wait a minute," he retorted, picking up his bishop. "I can move--"
"Nope." Maddie pointed out the fact that her rook had the bishop in check. "And you can't move your rook, or your knight either."
"Well," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning back in the chair, "I guess you are the winner."
The flashing smile she sent him made it worth losing. In fact, just seeing that smile made most things worthwhile these days.
This was not a good thing. He was getting far too comfortable here, too relaxed, too ... happy. The word popped into his mind, and just as suddenly, Jake dismissed it. Happiness wasn't something he wanted. Hell, he hadn't been happy since he was twelve years old, and he was fooling himself if he thought he'd ever be really happy again.
His life was spent trying to make amends for failing to protect his mother and sister. Tracking killers and seeing they didn't hurt anybody else made him as happy as he'd ever be. If he thought for a moment there could be more, he was dead wrong.
It was the warmth of the room, and Emmaline, and Maddie who were fooling him into thinking there could be more to his life than what he had. And the sooner he got away from here, the sooner he'd forget these foolish notions..
"Jake?"
Jake glanced at Maddie's face. God, he loved to look at that face, the way her freckles stood out when she was tired, the way her fiery hair curled around her creamy shoulders, the way her lips felt...
Caleb Boone had been a fool, too. Most men would kill for what Caleb had spurned. A beautiful woman who loved him, a comfortable home with a livelihood, a maybe one day, even a family. But the man had turned his back on all of that, and gotten himself killed bedding another man's wife. As if Maddie wouldn't be enough to keep any man happy in the bedroom. He knew for damned sure he wouldn't be straying. Just the thought of having her naked body beneath him, and sinking himself into her warmth was enough to drive him to distraction.
"What's wrong, Jake?" Maddie's voice interrupted him.
"Nothing."
"Are you sure?"
Then it hit him. It was time to leave. He'd been given two weeks to wait for Tyler Boone. It had only been six days, but there was no way he could stand to be around Maddie another eight days without losing his mind. Trouble was, he couldn't tell her that. Instead, he'd have to lie about the time he'd been allowed. "I'm leaving."
"Oh ... well, goodnight then ..."
Before he could change his mind, he blurted out, "No. I'm leaving here. I've been here six days now, and since Tyler hasn't shown up, it's time to be on my way."