ACT ONE
A Play at the Hôtel de Bourgogne 1
The great hall of the Hôtel de Bourgogne, in 1640. A sort of tennis-court arranged and decorated for theatrical performances.
The hall is a long rectangle, seen obliquely, so that one side of it constitutes the background, which runs from the position of the front wing at the right, to the line of the furthest wing at the left, and forms an angle with the stage, which is equally seen obliquely.
This stage is furnished, on both sides, along the wings, with benches. The drop-curtain is composed of two tapestry hangings, which can be drawn apart. Above a Harlequin cloak, the royal escutcheon. Broad steps lead from the raised platform of the stage into the house. On either side of these steps, the musicians’ seats. A row of candles fills the office of footlights.
Two galleries run along the side; the lower one is divided into boxes. No seats in the pit, which is the stage proper. At the back of the pit, that is to say, at the right, in the front, a few seats raised like steps, one above the other; and, under a stairway which leads to the upper seats, and of which the lower end only is visible, a stand decked with small candelabra, jars full of flowers, flagons and glasses, dishes heaped with sweetmeats, etc.
In the centre of the background, under the box-tier, the entrance to the theatre, large door which half opens to let in the spectators. On the panels of this door, and in several corners, and above the sweetmeat stand, red playbills, announcing LA CLORISE.2
At the rise of the curtain, the house is nearly dark, and still empty. The chandeliers are let down in the middle of the pit, until time to light them.

SCENE I

The audience, arriving gradually. Cavaliers, burghers, lackeys, pages, the fiddlers, etc.
A tumult of voices is heard beyond the door; enter brusquely a
CAVALIER.
 

DOORKEEPER [running in after him] Not so fast! Your fifteen pence!
CAVALIER I come in admission free!
DOORKEEPER And why?
CAVALIER I belong to the king’s light cavalry!
DOORKEEPER [to another CAVALIER who has entered] You?
SECOND CAVALIER I do not pay!
DOORKEEPER But...
SECOND CAVALIER I belong to the mousquetaires!
FIRST CAVALIER [to the SECOND] It does not begin before two. The floor is empty. Let us have a bout with foils. [They fence with foils they have brought.]
A LACKEY [entering] Pst!... Flanquin!
OTHER LACKEY [arrived a moment before] Champagne? ...
FIRST LACKEY [taking a pack of cards from his doublet and showing it to SECOND LACKEY] Cards. Dice. [Sits down on the floor.] Let us have a game.
SECOND LACKEY [sitting down likewise] You rascal, willingly!
FIRST LACKEY [taking from his pocket a bit of candle which he lights and sticks on the floor] I prigged an eyeful of my master’s light!
ONE OF THE WATCH [to a flower-girl, who comes forward] It is pleasant getting here before the lights. [Puts his arm around her waist. ]
ONE OF THE FENCERS [taking a thrust] Hit!
ONE OF THE GAMBLERS Clubs!
THE WATCHMAN [pursuing the girl] A kiss!
THE FLOWER-GIRL [repulsing him] We shall be seen!
THE WATCHMAN [drawing her into a dark corner] No, we shall not!
A MAN [sitting down on the floor with others who have brought provisions] By coming early, you get a comfortable chance to eat.
A BURGHER [leading his son] This should be a good place, my boy. Let us stay here.
ONE OF THE GAMBLERS Ace wins!
A MAN [taking a bottle from under his cloak and sitting down] A proper toper, toping Burgundy, [drinks] I say should tope it in Burgundy House!3
THE BURGHER [to his son] Might one not suppose we had stumbled into some house of evil fame? [Points with his cane at the drunkard. ] Guzzlers! ... [In breaking guard one of the fencers jostles him.] Brawlers! ... [He falls between the gamblers.] Gamesters! ...
THE WATCHMAN [behind him, still teasing the flower-girl] A kiss!
THE BURGHER [dragging his son precipitately away.] Bless my soul! ... And to reflect that in this very house, my son, were given the plays of the great Rotrou!
THE YOUTH And those of the great Corneille! 4 [A band of PAGES holding hands rush in performing a farandole and singing.]
PAGES Tra la la la la la la la! ...
DOORKEEPER [severely to the PAGES] Look, now! ... you pages, you! none of your tricks!
FIRST PAGE [with wounded dignity.] Sir!... this want of confidence ... [As soon as the doorkeeper has turned away, briskly to the SECOND
PAGE.] Have you a string about you?
SECOND PAGE With a fish-hook at the end!
FIRST PAGE We will sit up there and angle for wigs!
A PICKPOCKET [surrounded by a number of individuals of dubious appearance. ] Come, now, my little hopefuls, and learn your ABC’s of trade. Being as you’re not used to hooking...
SECOND PAGE [shouting to other PAGES who have already taken seats in the upper gallery] Ho!... Did you bring any pea-shooters?
THIRD PAGE [from above] Yes!... And pease! ... [shoots down a volley of pease]
THE YOUTH [to his father] What are we going to see?
THE BURGHER Clorise.
THE YOUTH By whom?
THE BURGHER By Balthazar Baro. Ah, what a play it is! ... [Goes toward the back on his son’s arm.]
PICKPOCKET [to his disciples] Particularly the lace-ruffles at the knees, ... you’re to snip off carefully!
A SPECTATOR [to another, pointing toward an upper seat] Look! On the first night of the Cid, I was perched up there!
PICKPOCKET [with pantomimic suggestion of spiriting away] Watches ...
THE BURGHER [coming forward again with his son] The actors you are about to see, my son, are among the most illustrious...
PICKPOCKET [with show of subtracting with furtive little tugs] Pocket-handkerchiefs...
THE BURGHER Montfleury...
SOMEBODY [shouting from the upper gallery] Make haste, and light the chandeliers!
THE BURGHER Bellerose, l’Épy, the Beaupré, Jodelet ... 5
A PAGE [in the pit] Ah!... Here comes the goody-seller!
THE SWEETMEAT VENDER [appearing behind the stand] Oranges... Milk... Raspberry cordial... citron-wine... [Hubbub at the door.]
FALSETTO VOICE [outside] Make room, ruffians!
ONE OF THE LACKEYS [astonished] The marquises... in the pit!
OTHER LACKEY Oh, for an instant only! Enter a band of foppish YOUNG MARQUISES.
ONE OF THE MARQUISES [looking around the half-empty house] What? ... We happen in like so many linen-drapers? Without disturbing anybody? treading on any feet?... Too bad! too bad! too bad! [He finds himself near several other gentlemen, come in a moment before.] Cuigy, Brissaille! [Effusive embraces]
CUIGY We are of the faithful indeed. We are here before the lights.
THE MARQUIS Ah, do not speak of it! ... It has put me in such a humor!
OTHER MARQUIS Be comforted, marquis... here comes the candle-lighter!
THE AUDIENCE [greeting the arrival of the candle-lighter] Ah!... [Many gather around the chandeliers while they are being lighted. A few have taken seats in the galleries. LIGNIÈRE enters, arm in arm with CHRISTIAN DE NEUVILLETTE. LIGNIERE, in somewhat disordered apparel, appearance of gentlemanly drunkard. CHRISTIAN, becomingly dressed, but in clothes of a slightly obsolete elegance.]

SCENE II

The Same, with Christian and Lignière, then Ragueneau and Le Bret
 

CUIGY Lignière!
BRISSAILLE [laughing] Not tipsy yet?
LIGNIERE [low to CHRISTIAN] Shall I present you? [CHRISTIAN nods assent.] Baron de Neuvillette ... [Exchange of bows]
THE AUDIENCE [cheering the ascent of the first lighted chandelier] Ah!...
CUIGY [to BRISSAILLE, looking at CHRISTIAN] A charming head... charming!
FIRST MARQUIS [who has overheard] Pooh!...
LIGNIERE [presenting CHRISTIAN] Messieurs de Cuigy ... de Brissaille...
CHRISTIAN [bowing] Delighted!...
FIRST MARQUIS [to SECOND] He is a pretty fellow enough, but is dressed in the fashion of some other year!
LIGNIERE [to CUIGY] Monsieur is lately arrived from Touraine.
CHRISTIAN Yes, I have been in Paris not over twenty days. I enter the Guards to-morrow, the Cadets.
FIRST MARQUIS [looking at those who appear in the boxes] There comes the présidente Aubry!
SWEETMEAT VENDER Oranges! Milk!
THE FIDDLERS [tuning] La... la ...
CUIGY [to CHRISTIAN, indicating the house which is filling] A good house! ...
CHRISTIAN Yes, crowded.
FIRST MARQUIS The whole of fashion! [They give the names of the women, as, very brilliantly attired, these enter the boxes. Exchange of bows and smiles.]
SECOND MARQUIS Mesdames de Guéménée ...
CUIGY De Bois-Dauphin...
FIRST MARQUIS Whom... time was! ... we loved! ... BRISSAILLE ... de Chavigny ...6
SECOND MARQUIS Who still plays havoc with our hearts!
LIGNIERE Tiens! Monsieur de Corneille has come back from Rouen!
THE YOUTH [to his father] The Academy is present?7
THE BURGHER Yes ... I perceive more than one member of it. Yonder are Boudu, Boissat and Cureau ... Porchères, Colomby, Bourzeys, Bourdon, Arbaut ... All names of which not one will be forgotten. What a beautiful thought it is!8
FIRST MARQUIS Attention! Our précieuses are coming into their seats... Barthénoide, Urimédonte, Cassandace, Félixérie ...9
SECOND MARQUIS Ah, how exquisite are their surnames! ... Marquis, can you tell them off, all of them?
FIRST MARQUIS I can tell them off, all of them, Marquis!
LIGNIERE [drawing CHRISTIAN aside] Dear fellow, I came in here to be of use to you. The lady does not come. I revert to my vice!
CHRISTIAN [imploring] No! No! ... You who turn into ditties Town and Court, stay by me: you will be able to tell me for whom it is I am dying of love!
THE LEADER OF THE VIOLINS [rapping on his desk with his bow] Gentlemen! ... [He raises his bow.]
SWEETMEAT VENDER Macaroons... Citronade ... [The fiddles begin playing.]
CHRISTIAN I fear... oh, I fear to find that she is fanciful and intricate! I dare not speak to her, for I am of a simple wit. The language written and spoken in these days bewilders and baffles me. I am a plain soldier... shy, to boot.—She is always at the right, there, the end: the empty box.
LIGNIERE [with show of leaving] I am going.
CHRISTIAN [still attempting to detain him] Oh, no! ... Stay, I beseech you!
LIGNIERE I cannot. D’ Assoucy‡ is expecting me at the pot-house. Here is a mortal drought!
SWEETMEAT VENDER [passing before him with a tray] Orangeade? ...
LIGNIÈRE Ugh!
SWEETMEAT VENDER Milk?..
LIGNIERE Pah!...
SWEETMEAT VENDER Lacrima?10 ...
LIGNIÈRE Stop! [To CHRISTIAN] I will tarry a bit.... Let us see this lacrima? [Sits down at the sweetmeat stand. The VENDER pours him a glass of lacrima] [Shouts among the audience at the entrance of a little, merry-faced, roly-poly man.]
AUDIENCE Ah, Ragueneau! ...
LIGNIERE [to CHRISTIAN] Ragueneau, who keeps the great cookshop.
RAGUENEAU [attired like a pastrycook in his Sunday best, coming quickly toward LIGNIERE] Monsieur, have you seen Monsieur de Cyrano?
LIGNIERE [presenting RAGUENEAU to CHRISTIAN] The pastrycook of poets and of players!
RAGUENEAU [abashed] Too much honor....
LIGNIERE No modesty! ... Mecaenas! ...†
RAGUENEAU It is true, those gentlemen are among my customers ...
LIGNIERE Debitors! ... A considerable poet himself.... RAGUENEAU It has been said! ...
LIGNIERE Daft on poetry! ...
RAGUENEAU It is true that for an ode...
LIGNIERE You are willing to give at any time a tart! RAGUENEAU ... let. A tart-let.
LIGNIERE Kind soul, he tries to cheapen his charitable acts! And for a triolet# were you not known to give ... ?
RAGUENEAU Rolls. Just rolls.
LIGNIERE [severely] Buttered!... And the play, you are fond of the play?
RAGUENEAU It is with me a passion!
LIGNIERE And you settle for your entrance fee with a pastry currency. Come now, among ourselves, what did you have to give today for admittance here?
RAGUENEAU Four custards... eighteen lady-fingers. [He looks all around] Monsieur de Cyrano is not here. I wonder at it.
LIGNIERE And why?
RAGUENEAU Montfleury is billed to play.
LIGNIERE So it is, indeed. That ton of man will to-day entrance us in the part of Phœdo ... Phoedo!11 ... But what is that to Cyrano?
RAGUENEAU Have you not heard? He interdicted Montfleury, whom he has taken in aversion, from appearing for one month upon the stage.
LIGNIERE [who is at his fourth glass] Well?
RAGUENEAU Montfleury is billed to play.
CUIGY [who has drawn near with his companions] He cannot be prevented.
RAGUENIEAU He cannot? ... Well, I am here to see!
FIRST MARQUIS What is this Cyrano?
CUIGY A crack-brain!
SECOND MARQUIS Of quality?
CUIGY Enough for daily uses. He is a cadet in the Guards. [Pointing out a gentleman who is coming and going about the pit, as if in search of somebody] But his friend Le Bret can tell you. [Calling] Le Bret! ...
[LE BRET comes toward them] . You are looking for Bergerac?
LE BRET Yes. I am uneasy.
CUIGY Is it not a fact that he is a most uncommon fellow?
LE BRET [affectionately] The most exquisite being he is that walks beneath the moon!
RAGUENEAU Poet!
CUIGY Swordsman!
BRISSAILLE Physicist!
LE BRET. Musician!
LIGNIERE And what an extraordinary aspect he presents!
RAGUENEAU I will not go so far as to say that I believe our grave Philippe de Champaigne12 will leave us a portrait of him; but, the bizarre, excessive, whimsical fellow that he is would certainly have furnished the late Jacques Callot with a type of madcap fighter for one of his masques.13 Hat with triple feather, doublet with twice-triple skirt, cloak which his interminable rapier lifts up behind, with pomp, like the insolent tail of a cock; prouder than all the Artabans that Gascony ever bred,‡ he goes about in his stiff Punchinello ruff, airing a nose.... Ah, gentlemen, what a nose is that! One cannot look upon such a specimen of the nasigera without exclaiming, “No! truly, the man exaggerates,” ... After that, one smiles, one says: “He will take it off.” ... But Monsieur de Bergerac never takes it off at all.
LE BRET [shaking his head] He wears it always... and cuts down whoever breathes a syllable in comment.
RAGUENEAU [proudly] His blade is half the shears of Fate!
FIRST MARQUIS [shrugging his shoulders] He will not come!
RAGUENEAU He will. I wager you a chicken a la Ragueneau.
FIRST MARQUIS [laughing] Very well! [Murmur of admiration in the house. ROXANE has appeared in her box. She takes a seat in the front, her duenna at the back. CHRISTIAN, engaged in paying the sweetmeat vender, does not look.]
SECOND MARQUIS [uttering a series of small squeals] Ah, gentlemen, she is horrifically enticing!
FIRST MARQUIS A strawberry set in a peach, and smiling!
SECOND MARQUIS So fresh, that being near her, one might catch cold in his heart!
CHRISTIAN [looks up, sees ROXANE, and, agitated, seizes LIGNIÈRE by the arm] That is she!
LIGNIERE [looking] Ah, that is she! ...
CHRISTIAN Yes. Tell me at once.... Oh, I am afraid! ...
LIGNIERE [sipping his wine slowly] Magdeleine Robin, surnamed Roxane. Subtle. Euphuistic.
CHRISTIAN Alack-a-day!
LIGNIERE Unmarried. An orphan. A cousin of Cyrano’s... the one of whom they were talking. [While he is speaking, a richly dressed nobleman, wearing the order of the Holy Ghost on a blue ribbon across his breast,14 enters ROXANE’s box, and, without taking a seat, talks with her a moment.]
CHRISTIAN [starting] That man? ...
LIGNIERE [who is beginning to be tipsy, winking] He! He! Comte de Guiche. Enamored of her. But married to the niece of Armand de Richelieu. Wishes to manage a match between Roxane and certain sorry lord, one Monsieur de Valvert, vicomte and ... easy. She does not subscribe to his views, but De Guiche is powerful: he can persecute to some purpose a simple commoner. But I have duly set forth his shady machinations in a song which... Ho! he must bear me a grudge! The end was wicked... Listen! ... [He rises, staggering, and lifting his glass, is about to sing.]
CHRISTIAN No. Good-evening.
LIGNIERE You are going? ...
CHRISTIAN To find Monsieur de Valvert.
LIGNIERE Have a care. You are the one who will get killed. [Indicating ROXANE by a glance.] Stay. Some one is looking...
CHRISTIAN It is true ... [He remains absorbed in the contemplation of ROXANE. The pickpockets, seeing his abstracted air, draw nearer to him.]
LIGNIERE Ah, you are going to stay. Well, I am going. I am thirsty! And I am looked for ... at all the public-houses! [Exit unsteadily. ]
LE BRET [who has made the circuit of the house, returning toward RAGUENEAU, in a tone of relief] Cyrano is not here.
RAGUENEAU And yet...
LE BRET I will trust to Fortune he has not seen the announcement.
THE AUDIENCE Begin! Begin!

SCENE III

The same, except for Lignière; De Guiche, Valvert, then Montfleury
 

ONE OF THE MARQUISES [watching DE GUICHE, who comes from ROXANE’s box, and crosses the pit, surrounded by obsequious satellites, among whom the VICOMTE DEVALVERT] Always a court about him, De Guiche!
OTHER MARQUIS Pf!... Another Gascon!
FIRST MARQUIS A Gascon, of the cold and supple sort. That sort succeeds. Believe me, it will be best to offer him our duty. [They approach DE GUICHE.]
SECOND MARQUIS These admirable ribbons! What color, Comte de Guiche? Should you call it Kiss-me-Sweet or ... Expiring Fawn?
DE GUICHE This shade is called Sick Spaniard.
FIRST MARQUIS Appropriately called, for shortly, thanks to your valor, the Spaniard will be sick indeed, in Flanders!15
DE GUICHE I am going upon the stage. Are you coming? [He walks toward the stage, followed by all the marquises and men of quality. He turns and calls.] Valvert, come!
CHRISTIAN [who has been listening and watching them, starts on hearing that name] The vicomte! ... Ah, in his face... in his face I will fling my ... [He puts his hand to his pocket and finds the pickpocket’s hand. He turns.] Hein?
PICKPOCKET Ai!
CHRISTIAN [without letting him go] I was looking for a glove.
PICKPOCKET [with an abject smile] And you found a hand. [In a different tone, low and rapid.] Let me go ... I will tell you a secret.
CHRISTIAN [without releasing him] Well?
PICKPOCKET Lignière who has just left you ...
CHRISTIAN [as above] Yes? ...
PICKPOCKET Has not an hour to live. A song he made annoyed one of the great, and a hundred men—I am one of them—will be posted to-night...
CHRISTIAN A hundred? ... By whom?
PICKPOCKET Honor...
CHRISTIAN [shrugging his shoulders] Oh!...
PICKPOCKET [with great dignity] Among rogues!
CHRISTIAN Where will they be posted?
PICKPOCKET At the Porte de Nesle, on his way home. Inform him.
CHRISTIAN [letting him go] But where can I find him?
PICKPOCKET Go to all the taverns: the Golden Vat, the PineApple, the Belt and Bosom, the Twin Torches, the Three Funnels, and in each one leave a scrap of writing warning him.
CHRISTIAN Yes. I will run! ... Ah, the blackguards! A hundred against one! ... [Looks lovingly toward ROXANE.] Leave her! ... [Furiously, looking toward VALVERT. ] And him! ... But Lignière must be prevented. [Exit running.] [DE GUICHE, the MARQUISES, all the gentry have disappeared behind the curtain, to place themselves on the stage-seats. The pit is crowded. There is not an empty seat in the boxes or the gallery.]
THE AUDIENCE Begin!
A BURGHER [whose wig goes sailing off at the end of a string held by one of the pages in the upper gallery] My wig!
SCREAMS OF DELIGHT He is bald! ... The pages! ... Well done!... Ha, ha, ha!
THE BURGHER [furious, shaking his fist] Imp of Satan! ... [Laughter and screams, beginning very loud and decreasing suddenly. Dead silence.]
LE BRET [astonished] This sudden hush? ... [One of the spectators whispers in his ear.] Ah?
THE SPECTATOR I have it from a reliable quarter.
RUNNING MURMURS Hush!... Has he come? No! ... Yes, he has! ... In the box with the grating.... The cardinal! ... the cardinal! ... the cardinal! ...16
ONE OF THE PAGES What a shame! ... Now we shall have to behave! [Knocking on the stage. Complete stillness. Pause.]
VOICE OF ONE OF THE MARQUISES [breaking the deep silence, behind the curtain.] Snuff that candle!
OTHER MARQUIS [thrusting his head out between the curtains.] A chair! [A chair is passed from hand to hand, above the heads. The marquis takes it and disappears, after kissing his hand repeatedly toward the boxes. ]
A SPECTATOR Silence! [Once more, the three knocks. The curtain opens. Tableau. The marquises seated at the sides, 17 in attitudes of languid haughtiness. The stage-setting is the faint-colored blueish sort usual in a pastoral. Four small crystal candelabra light the stage. The violins play softly.]
LE BRET [to RAGUENEAU, under breath] Is Montfleury the first to appear?
RAGUENEAU [likewise under breath] Yes. The opening lines are his. LE BRET Cyrano is not here.
RAGUENEAU I have lost my wager.
LE BRET Let us be thankful. Let us be thankful. [A bagpipe is heard. MONTFLEURY appears upon the stage, enormous, in a conventional shepherd’s costume, with a rose-wreathed hat set jauntily on the side of his head, breathing into a be-ribboned bag pipe.]
THE PIT [applauding] Bravo, Montfleury! Montfleury!
MONTFLEURY [after bowing, proceeds to play the part of PHŒDO]
Happy the man who, freed from Fashion’s fickle sway,
In exile self-prescribed whiles peaceful hours away;
Who when Zephyrus sighs amid the answering trees....
A VOICE [from the middle of the pit] Rogue! Did I not forbid you for one month? [Consternation. Every one looks around. Murmurs.]
VARIOUS VOICES Hein? What? What is the matter?
[Many in the boxes rise to see]
CUIGY It is he!
LE BRET [alarmed] Cyrano!
THE VOICE King of the Obese! Incontinently vanish! ...
THE WHOLE AUDIENCE [indignant.] Oh!...
MONTFLEURY But ...
THE VOICE You stop to muse upon the matter?
SEVERAL VOICES [from the pit and the boxes.] Hush!...
Enough! ... Proceed, Montfleury ... Fear nothing!
MONTFLEURY [in an unsteady voice] Happy the man who freed from Fashion’s f—...
THE VOICE [more threatening than before] How is this? Shall I be constrained, Man of the Monster Belly, to enforce my regulation... regularly? [An arm holding a cane leaps above the level of the heads.]
MONTFLEURY [in a voice growing fainter and fainter] Happy the man... [The cane is wildly flourished.]
THE VOICE Leave the stage!
THE PIT Oh!...
MONTFLEURY [choking] Happy the man who freed...
CYRANO [appears above the audience, standing upon a chair, his arms folded on his chest, his hat at a combative angle, his moustache on end, his nose terrifying]
Ah! I shall lose my temper! [Sensation at sight of him]

SCENE IV

The same, with Cyrano, then Bellerose and Jodelet
MONTFLEURY [to the MARQUISES] Messieurs, I appeal to you!
ONE OF THE MARQUISES [languidly] But go ahead! ... Play!
CYRANO Fat man, if you attempt it, I will dust the paint off you with this!
THE MARQUIS Enough!
CYRANO Let every little lordling keep silence in his seat, or I will ruffle his ribbons with my cane!
ALL THE MARQUISES [rising] This is too much! ... Montfleury....
CYRANO Let Montfleury go home, or stay, and, having cut his ears off, I will disembowel him!
A VOICE But...
CYRANO Let him go home, I said!
OTHER VOICE But after all ...
CYRANO It is not yet done? [With show of turning up his sleeves.] Very well, upon that stage, as on a platter trimmed with green, you shall see me carve that mount of brawn....
MONTFLEURY [calling up his whole dignity] Monsieur, you cast indignity, in my person, upon the Muse!
CYRANO [very civilly] Monsieur, if that lady, with whom you have naught to do, had the pleasure of beholding you... just as you stand, there, like a decorated pot! ... she could not live, I do protest, but she hurled her buskin at you!
THE PIT Montfleury!... Montfleury! ... Give us Baro’s piece!
CYRANO [to those shouting around him] I beg you will show some regard for my scabbard: it is ready to give up the sword! [The space around him widens.]
THE CROWD [backing away] Hey... softly, there!
CYRANO [to MONTFLEURY] Go off!
THE CROWD [closing again, and grumbling] Oh! ... Oh!
CYRANO [turning suddenly] Has somebody objections? [The crowd again pushes away from him.]
A VOICE [at the back, singing.]
Monsieur de Cyrano, one sees,

Inclines to be tyrannical;

In spite of that tyrannicle

We shall see La Clorise!
THE WHOLE AUDIENCE [catching up the tune] La Clorise! La Clorise!
CYRANO Let me hear that song again, and I will do you all to death with my stick!
A BURGHER Samson come back! ...
CYRANO Lend me your jaw, good man!
A LADY [in one of the boxes] This is unheard of!
A MAN It is scandalous!
A BURGHER It is irritating, to say no more.
A PAGE What fun it is!
THE PIT Ksss! ... Montfleury! ... Cyrano! ...
CYRANO Be still! ...
THE PIT [in uproar] Hee-haw! ... Baaaaah! ... Bow- wow! ... Cockadoodledoooooo!
CYRANO I will ...
A PAGE Meeeow!
CYRANO I order you to hold your tongues! ... I dare the floor collectively to utter another sound! ... I challenge you, one and all! ... I will take down your names ... Step forward, budding heroes! Each in his turn. You shall be given numbers. Come, which one of you will open the joust with me? You, monsieur? No! You? No! The first that offers is promised all the mortuary honors due the brave. Let all who wish to die hold up their hands! [Silence.] It is modesty that makes you shrink from the sight of my naked sword? Not a name? Not a hand?—Very good. Then I proceed. [Turning toward the stage where MONTFLEURY is waiting in terror] As I was saying, it is my wish to see the stage cured of this tumor. Otherwise ... [Claps hand to his sword.] the lancet!
MONTFLEURY I...
CYRANO [gets down from his chair, and sits in the space that has become vacant around him, with the ease of one at home] Thrice will I clap my . hands, O plenilune!18 At the third clap ... eclipse!
THE PIT [diverted] Ah! ...
CYRANO [clapping his hands] One! ...
MONTFLEURY I...
A VOICE [from one of the boxes] Do not go! ...
THE PIT He will stay! ... He will go! ...
MONTFLEURY Messieurs, I feel ...
CYRANO Two! ...
MONTFLEURY I feel it will perhaps be wiser ...
CYRANO Three! ...
[MONTFLEURY disappears, as if through a trap-door. Storm of laughter, hissing, catcalls.]
THE HOUSE Hoo! ... Hoo! ... Milk-sop! : .. Come back! ... CYRANO [beaming, leans back in his chair and crosses his legs] Let him come back, if he dare!
A BURGHER The spokesman of the company!
[BELLEROSE comes forward on the stage and bows]
THE BOXES Ah, there comes Bellerose!
BELLEROSE [with elegant bearing and diction] Noble ladies and gentlemen ...
THE PIT No! No! Jodelet! ... We want Jodelet! ...
JODELET [comes forward, speaks through his nose] Pack of swine! THE PIT That is right! ... Well said! ... Bravo!
JODELET Don’t bravo me! ... The portly tragedian, whose paunch is your delight, felt sick! ...
THE PIT He is a poltroon! ...
JODELET He was obliged to leave ...
THE PIT Let him come back!
SOME No!
OTHERS Yes! ...
AYOUTH [to CYRANO] But, when all is said, monsieur, what good grounds have you for hating Montfleury?
CYRANO [amiably, sitting as before] Young gosling, I have two, whereof each, singly, would be ample. Primo: He is an execrable actor, who bellows, and with grunts that would disgrace a water-carrier launches the verse that should go forth as if on pinions ! ... Secundo: is my secret.
THE OLD BURGHER [behind CYRANO] But without compunction you deprive us of hearing La Clorise. I am determined ...
CYRANO [turning his chair around so as to face the old gentleman; respectfully] Venerable mule, old Baro’s verses being what they are, I do it without compunction, as you say.
THE PRECIEUSES [in the boxes] Ha! ... Ho! ... Our own
Baro! ... My dear, did you hear that? How can such a thing be said? ... Ha! ... Ho! ...
CYRANO [turning his chair so as to face the boxes; gallantly] Beautiful creatures, do you bloom and shine, be ministers of dreams, your smiles our anodyne. Inspire poets, but poems ... spare to judge!
BELLEROSE But the money which must be given back at the door!
CYRANO [turning his chair to face the stage] Bellerose, you have said the only intelligent thing that has, as yet, been said! Far from me to wrong by so much as a fringe the worshipful mantle of Thespis.... [He rises and flings a bag upon the stage.] Catch! ... and keep quiet!
THE HOUSE [dazzled] Ah! ... Oh! ...
JODELET [nimbly picking up the bag, weighing it with his hand] For such a price, you are authorized, monsieur, to come and stop the performance every day!
THE HOUSE Hoo! ... Hoo! ...
JODELET Should we be hooted in a body! ...
BELLEROSE The house must be evacuated!
JODELET Evacuate it!
[The audience begins to leave; CYRANO looking on with a satisfied air. The crowd, however, becoming interested in the following scene, the exodus is suspended. The women in the boxes who were already standing and had put on their wraps, stop to listen and end by resuming their seats.]
LE BRET [to CYRANO] What you have done ... is mad!
A BORE Montfleury! ... the eminent actor! ... What a scandal ! ... But the Duc de Candale is his patron! ... Have you a patron, you?
CYRANO No!
THE BORE You have not.
CYRANO No!
THE BORE What?You are not protected by some great nobleman under the cover of whose name....
CYRANO [exasperated] No, I have told you twice. Must I say the same thing thrice? No, I have no protector ... [hand on sword] but this will do.
THE BORE Then, of course, you will leave town.
CYRANO That will depend.
THE BORE But the Duc de Candale has a long arm ...
CYRANO Not so long as mine ... [pointing to his sword] pieced out with this!
THE BORE But you cannot have the presumption ...
CYRANO I can, yes.
THE BORE But ...
CYRANO And now ... face about!
THE BORE But ...
CYRANO Face about, I say ... or else, tell me why you are looking at my nose.
THE BORE [bewildered] I ...
CYRANO [advancing upon him] In what is it unusual?
THE BORE [backing] Your worship is mistaken.
CYRANO [same business as above] Is it flabby and pendulous, like a proboscis?
THE BORE I never said ...
CYRANO Or hooked like a hawk’s beak?
THE BORE I...
CYRANO Do you discern a mole upon the tip?
THE BORE But ...
CYRANO Or is a fly disporting himself thereon? What is there wonderful about it?
THE BORE Oh ...
CYRANO Is it a freak of nature?
THE BORE But I had refrained from casting so much as a glance at it!
 

CYRANO And why, I pray, should you not look at it?
THE BORE I had ...
CYRANO So it disgusts you?
THE BORE Sir ...
CYRANO Its color strikes you as unwholesome?
THE BORE Sir ...
CYRANO Its shape, unfortunate?
THE BORE But far from it!
CYRANO Then wherefore that depreciating air? ... Perhaps monsieur thinks it a shade too large?
THE BORE Indeed not. No, indeed. I think it small ... small,—I should have said, minute!
CYRANO What? How? Charge me with such a ridiculous defect? Small, my nose? Ho! ...
THE BORE Heavens!
CYRANO Enormous, my nose! ... Contemptible stutterer, snub-nosed and flat-headed, be it known to you that I am proud, proud of such an appendage! inasmuch as a great nose is properly the index of an affable, kindly, courteous man, witty, liberal, brave, such as I am! and such as you are for evermore precluded from supposing yourself, deplorable rogue! For the inglorious surface my hand encounters above your ruff, is no less devoid—[Strikes him]
THE BORE Aï! aï! ...
CYRANO Of pride, alacrity and sweep, of perception and of gift, of heavenly spark, of sumptuousness, to sum up all, of NOSE, than that [turns him around by the shoulders and suits the action to the word], which stops my boot below your spine!
THE BORE [running off] Help! The watch! ...19
CYRANO Warning to the idle who might find entertainment in my organ of smell.... And if the facetious fellow be of birth, my custom is, before I let him go, to chasten him, in front, and higher up, with steel, and not with hide!
DE GUICHE [who has stepped down from the stage with the marquises] He is becoming tiresome!
VALVERT [shrugging his shoulders] It is empty bluster!
DE GUICHE Will no one take him up?
VALVERT No one? ... Wait! I will have one of those shots at him! [He approaches CYRANO who is watching him, and stops in front of him, in an attitude of silly swagger.] Your ... your nose is ... errr ... Your nose ... is very large!
CYRANO [gravely] Very.
VALVERT [laughs] Ha! ...
CYRANO [imperturbable] Is that all?
VALVERT But ...
CYRANO Ah, no, young man, that is not enough! You might have said, dear me, there are a thousand things ... varying the tone ... For instance ... here you are:—Aggressive: “I, monsieur, if I had such a nose, nothing would serve but I must cut it off! Amicable: ”It must be in your way while drinking; you ought to have a special beaker made!“ Descriptive: ”It is a crag! ... a peak! ... a promontory! ... A promontory, did I say? ... It is a peninsula!” Inquisitive: ”What may the office be of that oblong receptacle ? Is it an inkhorn or a scissor-case?” Mincing: ”Do you so dote on birds, you have, fond as a father, been at pains to fit the little darlings with a roost?” Blunt: ”Tell me, monsieur, you, when you smoke, is it possible you blow the vapor through your nose without a neighbor crying “The chimney is afire?” Anxious: “Go with caution, I beseech, lest your head, dragged over by that weight, should drag you over!” Tender: “Have a little sun-shade made for it! It might get freckled!” Learned: “None but the beast, monsieur, mentioned by Aristophanes, the hippocampelephantocamelos, can have borne beneath his forehead so much cartilage and bone!” Off-hand: “What, comrade, is that sort of peg in style? Capital to hang one’s hat upon!” Emphatic: “No wind can hope, O lordly nose, to give the whole of you a cold, but the Nor-Wester!” Dramatic: “It is the Red Sea when it bleeds!” Admiring: “What a sign for a perfumer’s shop!” Lyrical: “Art thou a Triton, and is that thy conch?” Simple: “A monument! When is admission free?” Deferent : “Suffer, monsieur, that I should pay you my respects: that is what I call possessing a house of your own!” Rustic: “Hi, boys! Call that a nose? Ye don’t gull me! It’s either a prize carrot or else a stunted gourd!” Military: “Level against the cavalry!” Practical: “Will you put it up for raffle? Indubitably, sir, it will be the feature of the game!”And finally in parody of weeping Pyramus: “Behold, behold the nose that traitorously destroyed the beauty of its master! and is blushing for the same!”—That, my dear sir, or something not unlike, is what you would have said to me, had you the smallest leaven of letters or of wit; but of wit, O most pitiable of objects made by God, you never had a rudiment, and of letters, you have just those that are needed to spell “fool!”—But, had it been otherwise, and had you been possessed of the fertile fancy requisite to shower upon me, here, in this noble company, that volley of sprightly pleasantries, still should you not have delivered yourself of so much as a quarter of the tenth part of the beginning of the first.... For I let off these good things at myself, and with sufficient zest, but do not suffer another to let them off at me! DE GUICHE [attempting to lead away the amazed vicomte] Let be, vicomte!
VALVERT That insufferable haughty bearing! ... A clodhopper without ... without so much as gloves ... who goes abroad without points ... or bow-knots! ...
CYRANO My foppery is of the inner man. I do not trick myself out like a popinjay, but I am more fastidious, if I am not so showy. I would not sally forth, by any chance, not washed quite clean of an affront; my conscience foggy about the eye, my honor crumpled, my nicety black-rimmed. I walk with all upon me furbished bright. I plume myself with independence and straightforwardness. It is not a handsome figure, it is my soul, I hold erect as in a brace. I go decked with exploits in place of ribbon bows. I taper to a point my wit like a moustache. And at my passage through the crowd true sayings ring like spurs!
VALVERT But, sir ...
CYRANO I am without gloves? ... a mighty matter! I only had one left, of a very ancient pair, and even that became a burden to me ... I left it in somebody’s face.
VALVERT Villain, clod-poll, flat-foot, refuse of the earth!
CYRANO [taking off his hat and bowing as if the VICOMTE had been introducing himself] Ah? ... And mine, Cyrano-Savinien-Hercule of Bergerac!
VALVERT [exasperated] Buffoon!
CYRANO [giving a sudden cry, as if seized with a cramp] Aï!...
VALVERT [who had started toward the back, turning] What is he saying now?
CYRANO [screwing his face as if in pain] It must have leave to stir ... it has a cramp! It is bad for it to be kept still so long!
VALVERT What is the matter?
CYRANO My rapier prickles like a foot asleep!
VALVERT [drawing] So be it!
CYRANO I shall give you a charming little hurt!
VALVERT [contemptuous] A poet!
CYRANO Yes, a poet, ... and to such an extent, that while we fence, I will, hop! extempore, compose you a ballade!
VALVERT A ballade?
CYRANO I fear you do not know what that is.
VALVERT But ...
CYRANO [as if saying a lesson] The ballade is composed of three stanzas of eight lines each ...
VALVERT [stamps with his feet] Oh! ...
CYRANO [continuing] And an envoi20 of four.
VALVERT You ...
CYRANO I will with the same breath fight you and compose one. And at the last line, I will hit you.
VALVERT Indeed you will not!
CYRANO No? ... [Declaiming]
Ballade of the duel which in Burgundy House
Monsieur de Bergerac fought with a jackanapes.
VALVERT And what is that, if you please?
CYRANO That is the title.
THE AUDIENCE [at the highest pitch of excitement] Make room! ... Good sport! ... Stand aside! ... Keep still! ... [Tableau. A ring, in the pit, of the interested; the MARQUISES and OFFICERS scattered among the BURGHERS and COMMON PEOPLE. The PAGES have climbed on the shoulders of various ones, the better to see. All the women are standing in the boxes. At the right, DE GUICHE and his attendant gentlemen. At the left, LE BRET, RAGUENEAU, CUIGY, etc.]
CYRANO [closing his eyes a second] Wait. I am settling upon the rhymes. There. I have them. [In declaiming, he suits the action to the word. ]
Of my broad felt made lighter,

I cast my mantle broad,

And stand, poet and fighter,

To do and to record.

I bow, I draw my sword ...

En garde! with steel and wit

I play you at first abord ...

At the last line, I hit!
 

[They begin fencing.]
 

You should have been politer;

Where had you best be gored?

The left side or the right—ah?

Or next your azure cord?

Or where the spleen is stored?

Or in the stomach pit?

Come we to quick accord ...

At the last line, I hit!

You falter, you turn whiter?

You do so to afford

Your foe a rhyme in “iter”? ...

You thrust at me—I ward—

And balance is restored.

Laridon!21 Look to your spit! ...

No, you shall not be floored

Before my cue to hit!
[He announces solemnly.J
ENVOI
 

Prince, call upon the Lord! ...

I skirmish ... feint a bit ...

I lunge! ... I keep my word!
[The VICOMTE staggers; CYRANO bows.]
At the last line, I hit!
[Acclamations. Applause from the boxes. Flowers and handkerchiefs are thrown. The OFFICERS surround and congratulate CYRANO. RAGUENEAU dances with delight. LE BRET is tearfully joyous and at the same time highly troubled. The friends of the VICOMTE support him off the stage.]
THE CROWD [in a long shout] Ah! ...
A LIGHT-CAVALRY MAN Superb!
A WOMAN Sweet!
RAGUENEAU Astounding!
A MARQUIS Novel!
LE BRET Insensate!
THE CROWD [pressing around CYRANO] Congratulations! ... Well done! ... Bravo! ...
A WOMAN’ S VOICE He is a hero!
A MOUSQUETAIRE [striding swiftly toward CYRANO, with outstretched hand] Monsieur, will you allow me? It was quite, quite excellently done, and I think I know whereof I speak. But, as a fact, I expressed my mind before, by making a huge noise.... [He retires. ]
CYRANO [to CUIGY] Who may the gentleman be?
CUIGY D’Artagnan.22
LE BRET [to CYRANO, taking his arm] Come, I wish to talk with you.
CYRANO Wait till the crowd has thinned. [To BELLEROSE]. I may remain?
BELLEROSE [deferentially] Why, certainly! ... [Shouts are heard outside. J
JODELET [after looking] They are hooting Montfleury. BELLEROSE [solemnly] Sic transit!23 ... [In a different tone, to the doorkeeper and the candle snuffer.] Sweep and close. Leave the lights. We shall come back, after eating, to rehearse a new farce for to-morrow. [Exeunt JODELET and BELLEROSE, after bowing very low to CYRANO.]
THE DOORKEEPER [to CYRANO] Monsieur will not be going to dinner?
CYRANO I? ... No.
[The doorkeeper withdraws.]
LE BRET [to CYRANO] And this, because? ...
CYRANO [proudly] Because ... [in a different tone, having seen that the doorkeeper is too far to overhear] I have not a penny!
LE BRET [making the motion of flinging a bag] How is this? The bag of crowns....
CYRANO Monthly remittance, thou lastedst but a day!
LE BRET And to keep you the remainder of the month? ... CYRANO Nothing is left!
LE BRET But then, flinging that bag, what a child’s prank!
CYRANO But what a gesture! ...
THE SWEETMEAT VENDER [coughing behind her little counter] Hm! ... [CYRANO and LE BRET turn toward her. She comes timidly forward.] ] Monsieur, to know you have not eaten ... makes my heart ache. [Pointing to the sweetmeat-stand. I have there all that is needed.... (impulsively] Help yourself!
CYRANO [taking off his hat] Dear child, despite my Gascon pride, which forbids that I should profit at your hand by the most inconsiderable of dainties, I fear too much lest a denial should grieve you: I will accept therefore ... [He goes to the stand and selects] Oh, a trifle! ... A grape off this ... [She proffers the bunch, he takes a single grape.] No ... one! This glass of water ... [She starts to pour wine into it, he stops her.] No ... clear! And half a macaroon. [He breaks in two the macaroon, and returns half.]
LE BRET This comes near being silly!
SWEETMEAT VENDER Oh, you will take something more! ...
CYRANO Yes. Your hand to kiss. [He kisses the hand she holds out to him, as if it were that of a princess. ]
SWEETMEAT VENDER Monsieur, I thank you. [Curtseys.] Good evening! (Exit.]

SCENE V

Cyrano, Le Bret, then the Doorkeeper
CYRANO [to LE BRET ] I am listening. [He establishes himself before the stand, sets the macaroon before him,] Dinner! [does the same with the glass of water], Drink! [and with the grape] Dessert! [He sits down.] La! let me begin! I was as hungry as a wolf! [Eating.]You were saying?
LE BRET That if you listen to none but those great boobies and swashbucklers your judgment will become wholly perverted. Inquire, will you, of the sensible, concerning the effect produced to-day by your prowesses.
CYRANO [finishing his macaroon] Enormous!
LE BRET The cardinal ...
 

CYRANO [beaming] He was there, the cardinal?
LE BRET Must have found what you did....
CYRANO To a degree, original.
LE BRET Still ...
CYRANO He is a poet. It cannot be distasteful to him wholly that one should deal confusion to a fellow-poet’s play.
LE BRET But, seriously, you make too many enemies!
CYRANO [biting into the grape] How many, thereabouts, should you think I made to-night?
LE BRET Eight and forty. Not mentioning the women. CYRANO Come, tell them over!
LE BRET Montfleury, the old merchant, De Guiche, the Vicomte, Baro, the whole Academy ...
CYRANO Enough! You steep me in bliss!
LE BRET But whither will the road you follow lead you? What can your object be?
CYRANO I was wandering aimlessly; too many roads were open ... too many resolves, too complex, allowed of being taken. I took ...
LE BRET Which?
CYRANO By far the simplest of them all. I decided to be, in every matter, always, admirable!
LE BRET [shrugging his shoulders] That will do.—But tell me, will you not, the motive—look, the true one!—of your dislike to Montfleury.
CYRANO [rising] That old Silenus,24 who has not seen his knees this many a year, still believes himself a delicate desperate danger to the fair. And as he struts and burrs upon the stage, makes sheep‘s-eyes at them with his moist frog’s-eyes. And I have hated him ... oh, properly! ... since the night he was so daring as to cast his glance on her ... her, who—Oh, I thought I saw a slug crawl over a flower!
LE BRET [amazed] Hey? What? Is it possible? ...
CYRANO [with a bitter laugh] That I should love? [In a different tone, seriously.] I love.
LE BRET And may one know? ... You never told me ...
CYRANO Whom I love? ... Come, think a little. The dream of being beloved, even by the beautiless, is made, to me, an empty dream indeed by this good nose, my forerunner ever by a quarter of an hour. Hence, whom should I love? ... It seems superfluous to tell you! ... I love ... it was inevitable! ... the most beautiful that breathes!
LE BRET The most beautiful? ...
CYRANO No less, in the whole world! And the most resplendent, and the most delicate of wit, and among the golden-haired ... [with overwhelming despair] Still the superlative!
LE BRET Dear me, what is this fair one?
CYRANO All unawares, a deadly snare, exquisite without concern to be so. A snare of nature’s own, a musk-rose, in which ambush Love lies low. Who has seen her smile remembers the ineffable! There is not a thing so common but she turns it into prettiness; and in the merest nod or beck she can make manifest all the attributes of a goddess. No, Venus! you cannot step into your iridescent shell, nor, Dian, you, walk through the blossoming groves, as she steps into her chair and walks in Paris!
LE BRET Sapristi! I understand! It is clear!
CYRANO It is pellucid.
LE BRET Magdeleine Robin, your cousin?
CYRANO Yes, Roxane.
LE BRET But, what could be better? You love her? Tell her so! You covered yourself with glory in her sight a moment since.
CYRANO Look well at me, dear friend, and tell me how much hope you think can be justly entertained with this protuberance. Oh, I foster no illusions! ... Sometimes, indeed, yes, in the violet dusk, I yield, even I! to a dreamy mood. I penetrate some garden that lies sweetening the hour. With my poor great devil of a nose I sniff the April.... And as I follow with my eyes some woman passing with some cavalier, I think how dear would I hold having to walk beside me, linked like that, slowly, in the soft moonlight, such a one! I kindle—I forget—and then ... then suddenly I see the shadow of my profile upon the garden-wall! LE BRET [touched.] My friend ...
CYRANO Friend, I experience a bad half hour sometimes, in feeling so unsightly ... and alone.
LE BRET [in quick sympathy, taking his hand] You weep?
CYRANO Ah, God forbid! That? Never! No, that would be unsightly to excess! That a tear should course the whole length of this nose! Never, so long as I am accountable, shall the divine loveliness of tears be implicated with so much gross ugliness! Mark me well, nothing is so holy as are tears, nothing! and never shall it be that, rousing mirth through me, a single one of them shall seem ridiculous!
LE BRET Come, do not despond! Love is a lottery.
CYRANO [shaking his head] No! I love Cleopatra: do I resemble Caesar? I worship Berenice: do I put you in mind of Titus?25
LE BRET But your courage ... and your wit!—The little girl who but a moment ago bestowed on you that very modest meal, her eyes, you must have seen as much, did not exactly hate you!
CYRANO [impressed] That is true!
LE BRET You see? So, then!—But Roxane herself, in following your duel, went lily-pale.
CYRANO Lily-pale? ...
LE BRET Her mind, her heart as well, are struck with wonder! Be bold, speak to her, in order that she may ...
CYRANO Laugh in my face! ... No, there is but one thing upon earth I fear.... It is that.
THE DOORKEEPER [admitting the DUENNA26 to CYRANO] Monsieur, you are inquired for.
CYRANO [seeing the duenna] Ah, my God! ... her duenna!

SCENE VI

Cyrano, Le Bret, the Duenna
 

THE DUENNA [with a great curtsey] Somebody wishes to know of her valorous cousin where one may, in private, see him.
CYRANO [upset] See me?
THE DUENNA [with curtsey] See you. There are things for your ear.
CYRANO There are ... ?
THE DUENNA [other curtsey] Things.
CYRANO [staggering] Ah, my God! ...
THE DUENNA Somebody intends, tomorrow, at the earliest roses of the dawn, to hear Mass at Saint Roch.
CYRANO [upholds himself by leaning on LE BRET] Ah, my God!
THE DUENNA That over, where might one step in a moment, have a little talk?
CYRANO [losing his senses] Where? ... I ... But ... Ah, my God!
THE DUENNA Expedition, if you please.
CYRANO I am casting about ...
THE DUENNA Where?
CYRANO At ... at ... at Ragueneau’s ... the pastrycook’s. THE DUENNA He lodges?
CYRANO In ... In Rue ... Ah, my God! my God! ... St. Honoré.
THE DUENNA [retiring] We will be there. Do not fail. At seven.
CYRANO I will not fail. [Exit DUENNA.]

SCENE VII

Cyrano, Le Bret, then the Actors and Actresses, Cuigy, Brissaille, Ligniere, the Doorkeeper, the Fiddlers
 

CYRANO [falling on LE BRET’s neck] To me ... from her ... a meeting!
LE BRET Well, your gloom is dispelled?
CYRANO Ah, to whatever end it may be, she is aware of my existence!
LE BRET And now you will be calm?
CYRANO [beside himself] Now, I shall be fulminating and frenetical! I want an army all complete to put to rout! I have ten hearts and twenty arms ... I cannot now be suited with felling dwarfs to earth.... [At the top of his lungs.] Giants are what I want! [During the last lines, on the stage at the back, shadowy shapes of players have been moving about. The rehearsal has begun; the fiddlers have resumed their places.]
A VOICE [from the stage] Hey! Psst! Over there! A little lower. We are trying to rehearse!
CYRANO [laughing] We are going! [He goes toward the back.] [Through the street door, enter CUIGY, BRISSAILLE, several OFFICERS supporting LIGNIERE in a state of complete intoxication.]
CUIGY Cyrano!
CYRANO What is this?
CUIGY A turdus vinaticus27 we are bringing you.
CYRANO [recognizing him] Lignière! Hey, what has happened to you? CUIGY He is looking for you.
BRISSAILLE He cannot go home.
CYRANO Why?
LIGNIERE [in a thick voice, showing him a bit of crumpled paper.] This note bids me beware ... A hundred men against me ... on account of lampoon.... Grave danger threatening me.... Porte de Nesle ... must pass it to get home. Let me come and sleep under your roof.
CYRANO A hundred, did you say?—You shall sleep at home! LIGNIERE [frightened] But ...
CYRANO [in a terrible voice, pointing to the lighted lantern which the
DOORKEEPER stands swinging as he listens to this scene] Take that lantern (LIGNIERE hurriedly takes it] and walk! ... I swear to tuck you in your bed to-night myself. [To the OFFICERS.)You, follow at a distance. You may look on!
CUIGY But a hundred men ...
CYRANO Are not one man too many for my mood to-night! [The players, in their several costumes, have stepped down from the stage and come nearer.]
LE BRET But why take under your especial care ...
CYRANO Still Le Bret is not satisfied!
LE BRET That most commonplace of sots?
CYRANO [slapping LIGNIERE on the shoulder] Because this sot, this cask of muscatel, this hogshead of rosolio, 28 did once upon a time a wholly pretty thing. On leaving Mass, having seen her whom he loved take holy-water, as the rite prescribes, he, whom the sight of water puts to flight, ran to the holy-water bowl, and stooping over, drank it dry....
AN ACTRESS [in the costume of soubrette] Tiens, that was nice!.
CYRANO Was it not, soubrette?
THE SOUBRETTE [to the others] But why are they, a hundred, all against one poor poet?
CYRANO Let us start! [To the OFFICERS.] And you, gentlemen, when you see me attack, whatever you may suppose to be my danger, do not stir to second me!
ANOTHER OF THE ACTRESSES [jumping from the stage] Oh, I will not miss seeing this!
CYRANO Come!
ANOTHER ACTRESS [likewisejumping from the stage, to an elderly actor] Cassandre, will you not come?
CYRANO Come, all of you! the Doctor, Isabel, Leander, all! and you shall lend, charming fantastic swarm, an air of Italian farce to the Spanish drama in view. Yes, you shall be a tinkling heard above a roar, like bells about a tambourine!
ALL THE WOMEN [in great glee] Bravo! ... Hurry! ... A mantle! ... A hood!
JODELET Let us go!
CYRANO [to the fiddlers] You will favor us with a tune, messieurs the violinists! [The fiddlers fall into the train. The lighted candles which furnished the footlights are seized and distributed. The procession becomes a torchlight procession.]
CYRANO Bravo! Officers, beauty in fancy dress, and, twenty steps ahead ... [he takes the position he describes]. I, by myself, under the feather stuck, with her own hand, by Glory, in my hat! Proud as a Scipio trebly Nasica!29—It is understood? Formal interdiction to interfere with me!—We are ready? One! Two! Three! Doorkeeper, open the door! [The DOORKEEPER opens wide the folding door. A picturesque corner of Old Paris appears, bathed in moonlight.]
CYRANO Ah! ... Paris floats in dim nocturnal mist.... The sloping blueish roofs are washed with moonlight.... A setting, exquisite indeed, offers itself for the scene about to be enacted.... Yonder, under silvery vapor wreathes, like a mysterious magic mirror, glimmers the Seine.... And you shall see what you shall see!
ALL To the Porte de Nesle!
CYRANO [standing on the threshold] To the Porte de Nesle! [Before crossing it, he turns to the SOLIBRETTE.] Were you not asking, mademoiselle, why upon that solitary rhymster a hundred men were set? [He draws his sword, and tranquilly] Because it was well known he is a friend of mine! [Exit.] [To the sound of the violins, by the flickering light of the candles, the procession—LIGNIÈRE staggering at the head, the ACTRESSES arm in arm with the OFFICERS, the players capering behind,—follows out into the night. Curtain.]