ACT TWO
The Cookshop of Poets
RAGUENEAU’S shop, vast kitchen at the corner of Rue St. Honore and Rue de l’Arbre-Sec, which can be seen at the back, through the glass door, gray in the early dawn.
At the left, in front, a counter overhung by a wrought-iron canopy from which geese, ducks, white peacocks are hanging. In large china jars, tall nosegays composed of the simpler flowers, mainly sunflowers. On the same side, in the middle distance, an enormous fireplace, in front of which, between huge andirons, each of which supports a small iron pot, roasting meats drip into appropriate pans.
At the right, door in the front wing. In the middle distance, a staircase leading to a loft, the interior of which is seen through open shutters; a spread table lighted by a small Flemish candelabrum, shows it to be an eating-room. A wooden gallery continuing the stairway, suggests other similar rooms to which it may lead.
In the center of the shop, an iron hoop—which can be lowered by means of a rope,—to which large roasts are hooked.
In the shadow, under the stairway, ovens are glowing. Copper molds and saucepans are shining; spits turning, hams swinging, pastry pyramids showing fair. It is the early beginning of the workday. Bustling of hurried scullions, portly cooks and young cook’s-assistants; swarming of caps decorated with hen feathers and guinea-fowl wings. Wicker crates and broad sheets of tin are brought in loaded with brioches and tarts.
There are tables covered with meats and cakes; others, surrounded by chairs, await customers. In a corner, a smaller table, littered with papers. At the rise of the curtain,
RAGUENEAU is discovered seated at this table, writing with an inspired air, and counting upon his fingers.

SCENE I

FIRST PASTRYCOOK [bringing in a tall molded pudding] Nougat of fruit!
SECOND PASTRYCOOK [bringing in the dish he names] Custard!
THIRD PASTRYCOOK [bringing in a fowl roasted in its feathers] Peacock!
FOURTH PASTRYCOOK [bringing in a tray of cakes] Mince-pies!
FIFTH PASTRYCOOK [bringing in a deep earthen dish] Beef stew!
RAGUENEAU [laying down his pen, and looking up] Daybreak already plates with silver the copper pans! Time, Ragueneau, to smother within thee the singing divinity! The hour of the lute will come anon—now is that of the ladle! [He rises, speaking to one of the cooks.] You, sir, be so good as to lengthen this gravy,—it is too thick! THE COOK How much?
RAGUENEAU Three feet. [Goesfurther.]
THE COOK What does he mean?
FIRST PASTRYCOOK Let me have the tart!
SECOND PASTRYCOOK The dumpling!
RAGUENEAU [standing before the fireplace] Spread thy wings, Muse, and fly further, that thy lovely eyes may not be reddened at the sordid kitchen fire! [To one of the cooks, pointing at some small loaves of bread. ] You have improperly placed the cleft in those loaves; the cæsura belongs in the middle,—between the hemistichs!30 [To another of the COOKS, pointing at an unfinished pasty.] This pastry palace requires a roof! [To a young cook’s-apprentice, who, seated upon the floor, is putting fowls on a spit.] And you, on that long spit, arrange, my son, in pleasing alternation, the modest pullet and the splendid turkey-cock,—even as our wise Malherbe31 alternated of old the greater with the lesser lines, and so with roasted fowls compose a poem!
ANOTHER APPRENTICE [coming forward with a platter covered by a napkin] Master, in your honor, see what I have baked.... I hope you are pleased with it!
RAGUENEAU [ecstatic] A lyre!
THE APPRENTICE Of pie-crust!
RAGUENEAU [touched] With candied fruits!
THE APPRENTICE And the strings, see,—of spun sugar!
RAGUENEAU [giving him money] Go, drink my health! [Catching sight of LISE who is entering.] Hush! My wife! ... Move on, and hide that money. [To LISE, showing her the lyre, with a constrained air.] Fine, is it not?
LISE Ridiculous! [She sets a pile of wrapping-paper on the counter.]
RAGUENEAU Paper bags? Good. Thanks. [He examines them.] Heavens! My beloved books! The masterpieces of my friends,—dismembered, —torn!—to fashion paper bags for penny pies!—Ah, the abominable case is re-enacted of Orpheus and the Mænads!32
LISE [drily) And have I not an unquestionable right to make what use I can of the sole payment ever got from your paltry scribblers of uneven lines?
RAGUENEAU Pismire!‡ Forbear to insult those divine, melodious crickets!
LISE Before frequenting that low crew, my friend, you did not use to call me a Mænad,—no, nor yet a pismire!
RAGUENEAU Put poems to such a use!
LISE To that use and no other!
RAGUENEAU If with poems you do this, I should like to know, Madame, what you do with prose!

SCENE II

The Same
 

[Two children have come into the shop.]
RAGUENEAU What can I do for you, little ones?
FIRST CHILD Three patties.
RAGUENEAU [waiting on them] There you are! Beautifully browned, and piping hot.
SECOND CHILD Please, will you wrap them for us?
RAGUENEAU [starting, aside] There goes one of my bags! [To the children.] You want them wrapped, do you? [He takes one of the paper bags, and as he is about to put in the patties, reads.] “No otherwise, Ulysses, from Penelope departing....” Not this one! [He lays it aside and takes another. At the moment of putting in the patties, he reads.] “Phœbus of the aureate locks...” Not that one! [Same business.]
LISE [out of patience] Well, what are you waiting for?
RAGUENEAU Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. [He takes a third bag and resigns himself.] The sonnet to Phyllis! ... It is hard, all the same.
LISE It is lucky you made up your mind. [Shrugging her shoulders.] Nicodemus!33 [She climbs on a chair and arranges dishes on a sideboard. ]
RAGUENEAU [taking advantage of her back being turned, calls back the children who had already reached the door] Psst! ... Children! Give me back the sonnet to Phyllis, and you shall have six patties instead of three! [The children give back the paper bag, joyfully take the patties and exeunt. RAGUENEAU smoothes out the crumpled paper and reads declaiming.] “Phyllis!” ... Upon that charming name, a . grease-spot! ... “Phyllis!” ... [Enter brusquely CYRANO.]

SCENE III

Cyrano, Lise, Ragueneau, then the Mousquetaire
 

CYRANO What time is it?
RAGUENEAU [bowing with eager deference] Six o’clock.
CYRANO [with emotion] In an hour! [He comes and goes in the shop.]
RAGUENEAU [following him] Bravo! I too was witness....
CYRANO Of what?
RAGUENEAU Your fight.
CYRANO Which?
RAGUENEAU At the Hotel de Bourgogne.
CYRANO [with disdain] Ah, the duel!
RAGUENEAU [admiringly] Yes,—the duel in rhyme.
LISE He can talk of nothing else.
CYRANO Let him! ... It does no harm.
RAGUENEAU [thrusting with a spit he has seized] “At the last line, I hit!” “At the last line I hit!”—How fine that is! [With growing enthusiasm .] “At the last line, I—
CYRANO What time, Ragueneau?
RAGUENEAU [remaining fixed in the attitude of thrusting, while he looks at the clock] Five minutes past six.—“I hit!” [He recovers from his duelling posture.] Oh, to be able to make a ballade!
LISE [to CYRANO, who in passing her counter has absentmindedly shaken hands with her] What ails your hand?
CYRANO Nothing. A scratch.
RAGUENEAU You have been exposed to some danger?
CYRANO None whatever.
LISE [shaking her finger at him] I fear that is a fib!
CYRANO From the swelling of my nose? The fib in that case must have been good-sized.... [In a different tone.] I am expecting some one. You will leave us alone in here.
RAGUENEAU But how can I contrive it? My poets shortly will be coming ...
LISE [ironically] For breakfast!
CYRANO When I sign to you, you will clear the place of them.—What time is it?
RAGUENEAU It is ten minutes past six.
CYRANO [seating himself nervously at RAGUENEAU’s table and helping himself to paper] A pen?
RAGUENEAU [taking one from behind his ear, and offering it] A swan’s quill.
A MOUSQUETAIRE [with enormous moustachios, enters; in a stentorian voice] Good-morning! [LISE goes hurriedly to him, toward the back.]
CYRANO [turning] What is it?
RAGUENEAU A friend of my wife’s,—a warrior,—terrible, from his own report.
CYRANO [taking up the pen again, and waving RAGUENEAU away] Hush! ... [To himself.] Write to her, ... fold the letter, ... hand it to her, ... and make my escape.... [Throwing, down the pen.] Coward! ... But may I perish if I have the courage to speak to her, ... to say a single word.... [To RAGUENEAU.] What time is it?
RAGUENEAU A quarter past six. CYRANO [beating his breast] A single word of all I carry here! ... Whereas in writing ... [He takes up the pen again.] Come, let us write it then, in very deed, the love-letter I have written in thought so many times, I have but to lay my soul beside my paper, and copy! [He writes.]

SCENE IV

Ragueneau, Lise, the Mousquetaire, Cyrano, writing at the little table; the Poets, dressed in black, their stocking sagging and covered in mud
[Beyond the glass-door, shadowy lank hesitating shabby forms are seen moving. Enter the poets, clad in black, with hanging hose, sadly mud-splashed.]
LISE [coming forward, to RAGUENEAU] Here they come, your scare-crows !
FIRST POET [entering, to RAGUENEAU] Brother in art! ...
SECOND POET [shaking both RAGUENEAU’s hands] Dear fellow-bard....
THIRD POET Eagle of pastrycooks, [sniffs the air], your eyrie smells divine!
FOURTH POET Phœbus34 turned baker!
FIFTH POET Apollo35 master-cook!
RAGUENEAU [surrounded, embraced, shaken by the hand] How at his ease a man feels at once with them!
FIRST POET The reason we are late, is the crowd at the Porte de Nesle!
SECOND POET Eight ugly ruffians, ripped open with the sword, lie weltering on the pavement.
CYRANO [raising his head a second] Eight? I thought there were only seven. [Goes on with his letter.]
RAGUENEAU [to CYRANO] Do you happen to know who is the hero of this event?
CYRANO [negligently] I? ... No.
LISE [to the MOUSQUETAIRE] Do you?
THE MOUSQUETAIRE [turning up the ends of his moustache] Possibly!
CYRANO writing; from time to time he is heard murmuring a word or two,] ... “I love you...”
FIRST POET A single man, we were told, put a whole gang to flight!
SECOND POET Oh, it was a rare sight! The ground was littered with pikes, and cudgels ...
CYRANO [writing] “Your eyes ...”
THIRD POET Hats were strewn as far as the Goldsmiths’ square!
FIRST POET Sapristi! He must have been a madman of mettle....
CYRANO [as above] “... your lips ...”
FIRST POET An infuriate giant, the doer of that deed!
CYRANO [same business] “... but when I see you, I come near to swooning with a tender dread ...”
SECOND POET [snapping up a tart] What have you lately written, Ragueneau?
CYRANO [same business] “... who loves you devotedly...” [In the act of signing the letter, he stops, rises, and tucks it inside his doublet.] No need to sign it, I deliver it myself.
RAGUENEAU [to SECOND POET] I have rhymed a recipe.
THIRD POET [establishing himself beside a tray of cream puffs] Let us hear this recipe!
FOURTH POET [examining a brioche of which he has possessed himself] It should not wear its cap so saucily on one side ... it scarcely looks well! ... [Bites off the top.]
FIRST POET See, the spice-cake there, ogling a susceptible poet with eyes of almond under citron brows! ... [He takes the spice-cake. ]
SECOND POET We are listening!
THIRD POET [slightly squeezing a cream puff between his fingers] This puff creams at the mouth.... I water!
SECOND POET [taking a bite out of the large pastry lyre] For once the Lyre will have filled my stomach!
RAGUENEAU [who has made ready to recite, has coughed, adjusted his cap, struck an attitude] A recipe in rhyme!
SECOND POET [to FIRST POET, nudging him] Is it breakfast, with you?
FIRST POET [to SECOND POET] And with you, is it dinner?
RAGUENEAU How Almond Cheese-Cakes should be made.
 

Briskly beat to lightness due,

Eggs, a few;

With the eggs so beaten, beat—

Nicely strained for this same use,—

Lemon-juice,

Adding milk of almonds, sweet.

With fine pastry dough, rolled flat,

After that,

Line each little scallopped mold;

Round the sides, light-fingered, spread

Marmalade;

Pour the liquid eggy gold,

Into each delicious pit;

Prison it

In the oven,—and, bye and bye,

Almond cheesecakes will in gay

Blond array

Bless your nostril and your eye!
 

THE POETS [their mouths full] Exquisite! ... Delicious!
ONE OF THE POETS [choking] Humph! [They go toward the back, eating. CYRANO, who has been watching them, approaches RAGUENEAU.]
CYRANO While you recite your works to them, have you a notion how they stuff?
RAGUENEAU [low, with a smile] Yes, I see them ... without looking, lest they should be abashed. I get a double pleasure thus from saying my verses over: I satisfy a harmless weakness of which I stand convicted, at the same time as giving those who have not fed a needed chance to feed!
CYRANO [slapping him on the shoulder] You, ... I like you! [RAGUENEAU joins his friends. CYRANO looks after him; then, somewhat sharply.] Hey, Lise! (LISE, absorbed in tender conversation with the MOUSQUETAIRE, starts and comes forward toward CYRANO.] Is that captain ... laying siege to you?
LISE [offended] My eyes, sir, have ever held in respect those who meant hurt to my character....
CYRANO For eyes so resolute ... I thought yours looked a little languishing!
LISE [choking with anger] But ...
CYRANO [bluntly] I like your husband. Wherefore, Madame Lise, I say he shall not be sc ... horned!36
LISE But ...
CYRANO [raising his voice so as to be heard by the MOUSQUETAIRE] A word to the wise! [He bows to the MOUSQUETAIRE, and after looking at the clock, goes to the door at the back and stands in watch.]
LISE [to the MOUSQUETAIRE, who has simply returned CYRANO’s bow] Really ... I am astonished at you.... Defy him ... to his face!
THE MOUSQUETAIRE To his face, indeed! ... to his face! ... [He quickly moves off. LISE follows him.]
CYRANO [from the door at the back, signalling to RAGUENEAU that he should clear the room] Pst! ...
RAGUENEAU [urging the POETS toward the door at the right] We shall be much more comfortable in there....
CYRANO [impatiently] Pst! ... Pst! ...
RAGUENEAU [driving along the POETS] I want to read you a little thing of mine....
FIRST POET [despairingly, his mouth full] But the provisions....
SECOND POET Shall not be parted from us! [They follow RAGUENEAU in procession, after making a raid on the eatables.]

SCENE V

Cyrano, Roxane, the Duenna
 

CYRANO If I feel that there is so much as a glimmer of hope ... I will out with my letter! ... [ROXANE, masked, appears behind the glass door, followed by the DUENNA.]
CYRANO [instantly opening the door] Welcome! [Approaching the DUENNA.] Madame, a word with you!
THE DUENNA A dozen.
CYRANO Are you fond of sweets?
THE DUENNA To the point of indigestion!
CYRANO [snatching some paper bags off the counter] Good. Here are two sonnets of Benserade’s ...37
THE DUENNA Pooh!
CYRANO Which I fill for you with grated almond drops.
THE DUENNA [with a different expression] Ha!
CYRANO Do you look with favor upon the cate they call a trifle?
THE DUENNA I affect it out of measure, when it has whipped cream inside.
CYRANO Six shall be yours, thrown in with a poem by Saint-Amant. 38 And in these verses of Chapelain‡ I place this wedge of fruit-cake, light by the side of them.... Oh! And do you like tarts ... little jam ones ... fresh?
THE DUENNA I dream of them at night!
CYRANO [loading her arms with crammed paper bags] Do me the favor to go and eat these in the street.
THE DUENNA But ...
CYRANO [pushing her out] And do not come back till you have finished! [He closes the door upon her, comes forward toward ROXANE, and stands, bareheaded, at a respectful distance.]

SCENE VI

Cyrano, Roxane, the Duenna for a moment
 

CYRANO Blessed forevermore among all hours the hour in which, remembering that so lowly a being still draws breath, you were so gracious as to come to tell me ... to tell me? ...
ROXANE [who has removed her mask] First of all, that I thank you. For that churl, that coxcomb yesterday, whom you taught manners with your sword, is the one whom a great nobleman, who fancies himself in love with me....
CYRANO De Guiche?
ROXANE [dropping her eyes] Has tried to force upon me as a husband.
CYRANO Honorary? [Bowing.] It appears, then, that I fought, and I am glad of it, not for my graceless nose, but your thrice-beautiful eyes.
ROXANE Further than that ... I wished ... But, before I can make the confession I have in mind to make, I must find in you once more the ... almost brother, with whom as a child I used to play, in the park—do you remember?—by the lake!
CYRANO I have not forgotten. Yes ... you came every summer to Bergerac.
ROXANE You used to fashion lances out of reeds ...
CYRANO The silk of the tasselled corn furnished hair for your doll...
ROXANE It was the time of long delightful games ...
CYRANO And somewhat sour berries ...
ROXANE The time when you did everything I bade you!
CYRANO Roxane, wearing short frocks, was known as Magdeleine.
ROXANE Was I pretty in those days?
CYRANO You were not ill-looking.
ROXANE Sometimes, in your venturesome climbings you used to hurt yourself. You would come running to me, your hand bleeding. And, playing at being your mamma, I would harden my voice and say ... [She takes his hand.] “Will you never keep out of mischief?” [She stops short, amazed.] Oh, it is too much! Here you have done it again! [CYRANO tries to draw back his hand.] No! Let me look at it! ... Aren’t you ashamed? A great boy like you! ... How did this happen, and where?
CYRANO Oh, fun ... near the Porte de Nesle.
ROXANE [sitting down at a table and dipping her handkerchief into a glass of water] Let me have it.
CYRANO [sitting down too] So prettily, so cheeringly maternal!
ROXANE And tell me, while I wash this naughty blood away ... with how many were you fighting?
CYRANO Oh, not quite a hundred.
ROXANE Tell me about it.
CYRANO No. What does it matter? You tell me, you ... what you were going to tell me before, and did not dare ...
ROXANE [without releasing his hand] I do dare, now. I have breathed in courage with the perfume of the past. Oh, yes, now I dare. Here it is. There is someone whom I love.
CYRANO Ah! ...
ROXANE Oh, he does not know it.
CYRANO Ah! ...
ROXANE As yet ...
CYRANO Ah !...
ROXANE But if he does not know it, he soon will.
CYRANO Ah! ...
ROXANE A poor boy who until now has loved me timidly, from a distance, without daring to speak....
CYRANO Ah! ...
ROXANE No, leave me your hand. It is hot, this will cool it ... But I have read his heart in his face.
CYRANO Ah! ...
ROXANE [completing the bandaging of his hand with her small pocket-handkerchief ] And, cousin, is it not a strange coincidence—that he should serve exactly in your regiment!
CYRANO Ah !...
ROXANE [laughing] Yes. He is a cadet, in the same company! CYRANO Ah! ...
ROXANE He bears plain on his forehead the stamp of wit, of genius ! He is proud, noble, young, brave, handsome....
CYRANO [rising, pale] Handsome !...
ROXANE What ... what is the matter?
CYRANO With me? ... Nothing! ... It is ... it is ... [Showing his hand, smiling.] You know! ... It smarts a little ...
ROXANE In short, I love him. I must tell you, however, that I have never seen him save at the play.
CYRANO Then you have never spoken to each other?
ROXANE Only with our eyes.
CYRANO But, then ... how can you know? ...
ROXANE Oh, under the lindens of Place Royale, people will talk. A trustworthy gossip told me many things!
CYRANO A cadet, did you say?
ROXANE A cadet, in your company.
CYRANO His name?
ROXANE Baron Christian de Neuvillette.
CYRANO What? He is not in the cadets.
ROXANE He is! He certainly is, since morning. Captain Carbon de Castel-Jaloux.
CYRANO And quickly, quickly, she throws away her heart! ... But my poor little girl ...
THE DUENNA [opening the door at the back] Monsieur de Bergerac, I have eaten them, every one!
CYRANO Now read the poetry printed upon the bags! [The DUENNA disappears] My poor child, you who can endure none but the choicest language, who savor eloquence and wit, ... if he should be a barbarian!
ROXANE No! no! ... He has hair like one of D’Urfé’s heroes! 39
CYRANO If he had on proof as homely a wit as he has pretty hair!
ROXANE No! No! ... I can see at a single glance, his utterances are fine, pointed ...
CYRANO Ah, yes! A man’s utterances are invariably like his moustache ! ... Still, if he were a ninny? ...
ROXANE [stamping with her foot] I should die, there!
CYRANO [after a time] You bade me come here that you might tell me this? I scarcely see the appropriateness, Madame.
ROXANE Ah, it was because someone yesterday let death into my soul by telling me that in your company you are all Gascons, ... all!
CYRANO And that we pick a quarrel with every impudent fledgling, not Gascon, admitted by favor to our thoroughbred Gascon ranks? That is what you heard?
ROXANE Yes, and you can imagine how distracted I am for him!
CYRANO [in his teeth] You well may be!
ROXANE But I thought, yesterday, when you towered up, great and invincible, giving his due to that miscreant, standing your ground against those caitiffs, I thought “Were he but willing, he of whom all are in awe ...”
CYRANO Very well, I will protect your little baron.
ROXANE Ah, you will ... you will protect him for me? ... I have always felt for you the tenderest regard!
CYRANO Yes, yes.
ROXANE You will be his friend?
CYRANO I will!
ROXANE And never shall he have to fight a duel?
CYRANO I swear it.
ROXANE Oh, I quite love you! ... Now I must go. [She hurriedly resumes her mask, throws a veil over her head; says absentmindedly] But you have not yet told me about last night’s encounter. It must have been amazing! ... Tell him to write to me. [She kisses her hand to him.] I love you dearly!
CYRANO Yes, yes.
ROXANE A hundred men against you? ... Well, adieu. We are fast friends.
CYRANO Yes, yes.
ROXANE Tell him to write me! ... A hundred men! You shall tell me another time. I must not linger now ... A hundred men! What a heroic thing to do!
CYRANO [bowing] Oh, I have done better since! [Exit ROXANE. CYRANO stands motionless, staring at the ground. Silence. The door at the right opens. RAGUENEAU thrusts in his head.]

SCENE VII

Cyrano, Ragueneau, the Poets, Carbon de Castel-jaloux, the Cadets, the Crowd, etc., then De Guiche
 

RAGNENEAU May we come back?
CYRANO [without moving] Yes ... [RAGUENEAU beckons, his friends come in again. At the same time, in the doorway at the back, appears CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX, costume of a Captain of the Guards. On seeing CYRANO, he gesticulates exaggeratedly by way of signal to someone out of sight.]
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOLIX He is here!
CYRANO [looking up] Captain!
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX [exultant] Hero! We know all! ... About thirty of my cadets are out there! ...
CYRANO [drawing back] But ...
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX [trying to lead him Off] Come! ... You are in request!
CYRANO No!
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOLIX They are drinking across the way, at the Cross of the Hilt.
CYRANO I ...
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX [going to the door and shouting toward the street corner, in a voice of thunder] The hero refuses. He is not in the humor!
A VOICE [outside] Ah, sandious! ... 40 [Tumult outside, noise of clanking swords and of boots drawing nearer.]
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX [rubbing his hands] Here they come, across the street....
THE CADETS [entering the cookshop] Mille diousl .... Capdediousl ... Mordious! ... Pocapdediousl ...
RAGUENEAU [backing in alarm] Messieurs, are you all natives of Gascony?
THE CADETS All!
ONE OF THE CADETS [to CYRANO] Bravo!
CYRANO Baron!
OTHER CADET [shaking both CYRANO’s hands] Vivat!
CYRANO Baron!
THIRD CADET Let me hug you to my heart!
CYRANO Baron!
SEVERAL GASCONS Bravo! Let us hug him!
CYRANO [not knowing which one to answer] Baron! ... baron! ... your pardon!
RAGUENEAU Messieurs, are you all barons?
THE CADETS All!
RAGUENEAU Are they truly?
FIRST CADET Our coats of arms piled up would dwindle in the clouds!
LE BRET [entering, running to CYRANO] They are looking for you! A crowd, gone mad as March, led by those who were with you last night.
CYRANO [alarmed] You never told them where to find me?
LE BRET [rubbing his hands] I did.
A BURGHER [entering,followed by a number of others] Monsieur, the Marais41 is coming in a body! [The street outside has filled with people. Sedan-chairs, coaches stop before the door.]
LE BRET [smiling, low to CYRANO] And Roxane?
CYRANO [quickly] Be quiet!
THE CROWD [outside.] Cyrano! [A rabble bursts into the cookshop. Confusion. Shouting.]
RAGUENEAU [standing upon a table] My shop is invaded! They are breaking everything! It is glorious!
PEOPLE [pressing round CYRANO] My friend ... my friend....
CYRANO I had not so many friends ... yesterday!
LE BRET This is success!
A YOUNG MARQUIS [running toward CYRANO, with outstretched hands] If you knew, my dear fellow .
CYRANO Dear? ... Fellow? ... Where was it we stood sentinel together?
OTHER MARQUIS I wish to present you, sir, to several ladies, who are outside in my coach....
CYRAN O [coldly] But you, to me, by whom will you first be presented?
LE BRET [astonished] But what is the matter with you?
CYRANO Be still!
A MAN OF LETTERS [with an inkhorn] Will you kindly favor me with the details of ...
CYRANO No.
LE BRET [nudging him] That is Theophrastus Renaudot, the inventor of the gazette.42
CYRANO Enough!
LE BRET A sheet close packed with various information! It is an idea, they say, likely to take firm root and flourish!
A POET [coming forward] Monsieur ...
CYRANO Another!
THE POET I am anxious to make a pentacrostic on your name.
SOMEBODY ELSE [likewise approaching CYRANO] Monsieur ...
CYRANO Enough, I say! [At the gesture of impatience which CYRANO cannot repress, the crowd draws away. DE GUICHE appears, escorted by officers; among them CUIGY, BRISSAILLE, those who followed CYRANO at the end of the first act. CUIGY hurries toward CYRANO.]
CUIGY [to CYRANO] Monsieur de Guiche! [Murmurs. Every one draws back] He comes at the request of the Marshal de Gaussion.
DE GUICHE [bowing to CYRANO] Who wishes to express his admiration for your latest exploit, the fame of which has reached him.
THE CROWD Bravo!
CYRANO [bowing] The Marshal is qualified to judge of courage.
DE GUICHE He would scarcely have believed the report, had these gentlemen not been able to swear they had seen the deed performed.
CUIGY With our own eyes!
LE BRET [low to CYRANO, who wears an abstracted air] But ...
CYRANO Be silent!
LE BRET You appear to be suffering ...
CYRANO [starting, and straightening himsef] Before these people? ... [His moustache bristles; he expands his chest.] I ... suffering ? ... You shall see!
DE GUICHE [in whose ear CUIGY has been whispering] But this is by no means the first gallant achievement marking your career. You serve in the madcap Gascon company, do you not?
CYRANO In the cadets, yes.
ONE OF THE CADETS [in a great voice] Among his countrymen!
DE GUICHE [considering the GASCONS, in line behind CYRANO] Ah, ha!—All these gentlemen then of the formidable aspect, are the famous ...
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX Cyrano!
CYRANO Captain? ....
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX My company, I believe, is here in total. Be so obliging as to present it to the Count.
CYRANO [taking a step toward DE GUICHE, and pointing at the CADETS].
 

They are the Gascony Cadets

Of Carbon de Castel Jaloux;

Famed fighters, liars, desperates,

They are the Gascony Cadets!

All, better-born than pickpockets,

Talk couchant, rampant, ... pendent, too!

They are the Gascony Cadets

Of Carbon de Castel-Jaloux!

Cat-whiskered, eyed like falconets,

Wolf-toothed and heron-legged, they hew

The rabble down that snarls and threats ...

Cat-whiskered, eyed like falconets!

Great pomp of plume hides and offsets

Holes in those hats they wear askew ...

Cat-whiskered, eyed like falconets,

They drive the snarling mob, and hew!

The mildest of their sobriquets

Are Crack-my-crown and Run-me-through,

Mad drunk on glory Gascon gets!

These boasters of soft sobriquets

Wherever rapier rapier whets

Are met in punctual rendezvous ...

The mildest of their sobriquets

Are Crack-my-crown and Run-me-through!

They are the Gascony Cadets

That give the jealous spouse his due!

Lean forth, adorable coquettes,

They are the Gascony Cadets,

With plumes and scarfs and aigulets!

The husband gray may well look blue ...

They are the Gascony Cadets

That give the jealous spouse his due!
 

DE GUICHE [nonchalantly seated in an armchair which RAGUENEAU has hurriedly brought for him] A gentleman provides himself today, by way of luxury, with a poet. May I look upon you as mine?
CYRANO No, your lordship, as nobody’s.
DE GUICHE My uncle Richelieu yesterday found your spontaneity diverting. I shall be pleased to be of use to you with him.
LE BRET [dazzled] Great God!
DE GUICHE I cannot think I am wrong in supposing that you have rhymed a tragedy?43
LE BRET [whispering to CYRANO] My boy, your Agrippina will be played!
DE GUICHE Take it to him....
CYRANO [tempted and pleased] Really ...
DE GUICHE He has taste in such matters. He will no more than, here and there, alter a word, recast a passage....
CYRANO [whose face has instantly darkened] Not to be considered, monsieur! My blood runs cold at the thought of a single comma added or suppressed.
DE GUICHE On the other hand, my dear sir, when a verse finds favor with him, he pays for it handsomely.
CYRANO He scarcely can pay me as I pay myself, when I have achieved a verse to my liking, by singing it over to myself!
DE GUICHE You are proud.
CYRANO You have observed it?
ONE OF THE CADETS [coming in with a number of disreputable, draggled tattered hats threaded on his sword] Look, Cyrano! at the remarkable feathered game we secured this morning near the Porte de Nesle! The hats of the fugitives!
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX Spoliœ opimœ!44
ALL [laughing] Ha! Ha! Ha! ...
CUIGY The one who planned that military action, my word! must be proud of it to-day!
BRISSAILLE Is it known who did it?
DE GUICHE I!—[The laughter stops short] They had instructions to chastise—a matter one does not attend to in person,—a drunken scribbler. [Constrained silence.]
THE CADET [under breath, to CYRANO, indicating the hats] What can we do with them? They are oily.... Make them into a hotch pot?
CYRANO [taking the sword with the hats, and bowing, as he shakes them off at DE GUICHE’s feet] Monsieur, if you should care to return them to your friends? ...
DE GUICHE [rises, and in a curt tone] My chair and bearers, at once. [To CYRANO, violently.] As for you, sir ...
A VOICE [in the street, shouting] The chairmen of Monseigneur the Comte de Guiche!
DE GUICHE [who has recovered control over himself, with, a smile] Have you read Don Quixote?45
CYRANO I have. And at the name of that divine madman, I uncover ...
DE GUICHE My advice to you is to ponder....
A CHAIRMAN [appearing at the back] The chair is at the door!
DE GUICHE The chapter of the windmills.
CYRANO [bowing] Chapter thirteen.
DE GUICHE For when a man attacks them, it often happens....
CYRANO I have attacked, am I to infer, a thing that veers with every wind?
DE GUICHE That one of their far-reaching canvas arms pitches him down into the mud!
CYRANO Or up among the stars! [Exit DE GUICHE. He is seen getting into his chair. The gentlemen withdraw whispering. LE BRET goes to the door with them. The crowd leaves.]

SCENE VIII

Cyrano, Le Bret, the Cadets
[The CADETS remain seated at the right and left at tables where food and drink is brought to them].
CYRANO [bowing with a derisive air to those who leave without daring to take leave of him] Gentlemen ... gentlemen ... gentlemen....
LE BRET [coming forward, greatly distressed, lifting his hands to Heaven] Oh, in what a pretty pair of shoes....
CYRANO Oh, you! ... I expect you to grumble!
LE BRET But yourself, you will agree with me that invariably to cut the throat of opportunity becomes an exaggeration! ...
CYRANO Yes. I agree. I do exaggerate.
LE BRET [triumphant] You see, you admit it! ...
CYRANO But for the sake of principle, and of example, as well, I think it a good thing to exaggerate as I do!
LE BRET Could you but leave apart, once in a while, your mousquetaire of a soul, fortune, undoubtedly, fame....
CYRANO And what should a man do? Seek some grandee, take him for patron, and like the obscure creeper clasping a tree-trunk, and licking the bark of that which props it up, attain to height by craft instead of strength? No, I thank you. Dedicate, as they all do, poems to financiers? Wear motley in the humble hope of seeing the lips of a minister distend for once in a smile not ominous of ill? No, I thank you. Eat every day a toad? Be threadbare at the belly with groveling? Have his skin dirty soonest at the knees? Practice feats of dorsal elasticity? No, I thank you. With one hand stroke the goat while with the other he waters the cabbage? Make gifts of senna46 that counter-gifts of rhubarb may accrue, and indefatigably swing his censer in some beard? No, I thank you. Push himself from lap to lap, become a little great man in a great little circle, propel his ship with madrigals for oars and in his sails the sighs of the elderly ladies? No, I thank you. Get the good editor Sercy to print his verses at proper expense?47 No, I thank you. Contrive to be nominated Pope in conclaves held by imbeciles in wineshops? No, I thank you. Work to construct a name upon the basis of a sonnet, instead of constructing other sonnets? No, I thank you. Discover talent in tyros, and in them alone? Stand in terror of what gazettes may please to say, and say to himself “At whatever cost, may I figure in the Paris Mercury!”48 No, I thank you. Calculate, cringe, peak, prefer making a call to a poem,—petition, solicit, apply? No, I thank you! No, I thank you! No, I thank you! But ... sing, dream, laugh, loaf, be single, be free, have eyes that look squarely, a voice with a ring; wear, if he chooses, his hat hindside afore; for a yes, for a no, fight a duel or turn a ditty! ... Work, without concern of fortune or of glory, to accomplish the heart‘s-desired journey to the moon! Put forth nothing that has not its spring in the very heart, yet, modest, say to himself, “Old man, be satisfied with blossoms, fruits, yea, leaves alone, so they be gathered in your garden and not another man’s!” Then, if it happens that to some small extent he triumph, be obliged to render of the glory, to Cæsar, not one jot, but honestly appropriate it all. In short, scorning to be the parasite, the creeper, if even failing to be the oak, rise, not perchance to a great height, ... but rise alone!
LE BRET Alone? Good! but not one against all! How the devil did you contract the mania that possesses you for making enemies, always, everywhere?
CYRANO By seeing you make friends, and smile to those same flocks of friends with a mouth that takes for model an old purse! I wish not to be troubled to return bows in the street, and I exclaim with glee “An enemy the more!”
LE BRET This is mental aberration!
CYRANO I do not dispute it. I am so framed. To displease is my pleasure. I love that one should hate me. Dear friend, if you but knew how much better a man walks under the exciting fire of hostile eyes, and how amused he may become over the spots on his doublet, spattered by Envy and Cowardice! ... You, the facile friendship wherewith you surround yourself, resembles those wide Italian collars, loose and easy, with a perforated pattern, in which the neck looks like a woman’s. They are more comfortable, but of less high effect; for the brow not held in proud position by any constraint from them, falls to nodding this way and that.... But for me every day Hatred starches and flutes the ruff whose stiffness holds the head well in place. Every new enemy is another plait in it, adding compulsion, but adding, as well, a ray: for, similar in every point to the Spanish ruff, Hatred is a bondage, ... but is a halo, too!
LE BRET [after a pause, slipping his arm through CYRANO’s] To the hearing of all be proud and bitter, ... but to me, below breath, say simply that she does not love you!
CYRANO [sharply] Not a word! [CHRISTIAN has come in and mingled with the cadets; they ignore him; he has finally gone to a little table by himself, where LISE waits on him.]

SCENE IX

Cyrano, Le Bret, the Cadets, Christian de Neuvillette
 

ONE OF THE CADETS [seated at a table at the back, glass in hand] Hey, Cyrano! [CYRANO turns toward him] Your story!
CYRANO Presently! [He goes toward the back on LE BRET’s arm. They talk low.]
THE CADET [rising and coming toward the front] The account of your fight! It will be the best lesson [stopping in front of the table at which CHRISTIAN is sitting] for this timorous novice!
CHRISTIAN [looking up] ... Novice?
OTHER CADET Yes, sickly product of the North!
CHRISTIAN Sickly?
FIRST CADET [impressively] Monsieur de Neuvillette, it is a good deed to warn you that there is a thing no more to be mentioned in our company than rope in the house of the hanged!
CHRISTIAN And what is it?
OTHER CADET [in a terrifying voice] Look at me! [Three times, darkly, he places his finger upon his nose.] You have understood?
CHRISTIAN Ah, it is the ...
OTHER CADET Silence! ... Never must you so much as breathe that word, or ... [He points’toward CYRANO at the back talking with LE BRET.]You will have him, over there, to deal with!
OTHER CADET [who while CHRISTIAN was turned toward the first, has noiselessly seated himself on the table behind him] Two persons were lately cut off in their pride by him for talking through their noses. He thought it personal.
OTHER CADET [in a cavernous voice, as he rises from under the table where he had slipped on all fours] Not the remotest allusion, ever, to the fatal cartilage, ... unless you fancy an early grave!
OTHER CADET A word will do the business! What did I say? ... A word? ... A simple gesture! Make use of your pocket handkerchief, you will shortly have use for your shroud! [Silence. All around CHRISTIAN watch him, with folded arms. He rises and goes to CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX, who, in conversation with an officer, affects to notice nothing.]
CHRISTIAN Captain!
CARBON [turning and looking him rather contemptuously up and down] Monsieur?
CHRISTIAN What is the proper course for a man when he finds gentlemen of the South too boastful?
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOLIX He must prove to them that one can be of the North, yet brave. [He turns his back upon him.]
CHRISTIAN I am much obliged.
FIRST CADET [to CYRANO] And now, the tale of your adventure! ALL Yes, yes, now let us hear!
CYRANO [coming forward among them] My adventure? [All draw their stools nearer, and sit around him, with craned necks. CHRISTIAN sits astride a chair.] Well, then, I was marching to meet them. The moon up in the skies was shining like a silver watch, when suddenly I know not what careful watch-maker having wrapped it in a cottony cloud, there occurred the blackest imaginable night; and, the streets being nowise lighted,—mordious!—you could see no further than ...
CHRISTIAN Your nose. [Silence. Everyone slowly gets up; all look with terror at CYRANO. He has stopped short, amazed. Pause.]
CYRANO Who is that man?
ONE OF THE CADETS [low] He joined this morning.
CYRANO [taking a step toward CHRISTIAN] This morning?
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX [low] His name is Baron de Neuvill ...
CYRANO [stopping short] Ah, very well.... [He turns pale, then red, gives evidence of another impulse to throw himself upon CHRISTIAN.] I.... [He conquers it, and says in a stifled voice.] Very well. [He takes up his tale.] As I was saying ... [with a burst of rage.] Mordious! ... [He continues in a natural tone] one could not see in the very least. [Consternation. All resume their seats, staring at one another.] And I was walking along, reflecting that for a very insignificant rogue I was probably about to offend some great prince who would bear me a lasting grudge, that, in brief, I was about to thrust my ...
CHRISTIAN Nose ... [All get up. CHRISTIAN has tilted his chair and is rocking on the hind legs.]
CYRANO [choking] Finger ... between the tree and the bark; for the aforesaid prince might be of sufficient power to trip me and throw me ...
CHRISTIAN On my nose ...
CYRANO [wipes the sweat from his brow.] But, said I, “Gascony forward ! Never falter when duty prompts! Forward, Cyrano!” and, saying this, I advance—when suddenly, in the darkness, I barely avoid a blow...
CHRISTIAN Upon the nose...
CYRANO I ward it.... and thereupon find myself...
CHRISTIAN Nose to nose...
CYRANO [springing toward him] Ventre- Saint- Gris! ... [All the GASCONS rush forward, to see; CYRANO, on reaching CHRISTIAN, controls himself and proceeds] ... with a hundred drunken brawlers, smelling...
CHRISTIAN To the nose’s limit...
CYRANO [deathly pale, and smiling] ... of garlic and of grease. I leap forward, head lowered...
CHRISTIAN Nose to the wind! ...
CYRANO And I charge them. I knock two breathless and run a third through the body. One lets off at me: Paf! and I retort...
CHRISTIAN Pif!
CRYANO [exploding] Death and damnation! Go,—all of you! [All the CADETS make for the door.]
FIRST CADET The tiger is roused at last!
CYRANO All! and leave me with this man.
SECOND CADET Bigre! When we see him again, it will be in the shape of mince-meat!
RAGUENEAU Mince-meat?...
OTHER CADET In one of your pies.
RAGUENEAU I feel myself grow white and flabby as a table-napkin!
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX Let us go!
OTHER CADET Not a smudge of him will be left!
OTHER CADET What these walls are about to behold gives me gooseflesh to think upon!
OTHER CADET [closing the door at the right] Ghastly!... Ghastly! [All have left, by the back or the sides, a few up the stairway. CYRANO and CHRISTIAN remain face to face, and look at each other a moment.]

SCENE X

Cyrano, Christian
 

CYRANO Embrace me!
CHRISTIAN Monsieur ...
CYRANO Brave fellow.
CHRISTIAN But what does this ...
CYRANO Very brave fellow. I wish you to.
CHRISTIAN Will you tell me? ...
CYRANO Embrace me, I am her brother.
CHRISTIAN Whose?
CYRANO Hers!
CHRISTIAN What do you mean?
CYRANO Roxane’s!
CHRISTIAN [running to him] Heavens! You, her brother?
CYRANO Or the same thing: her first cousin.
CHRISTIAN And she has...
CYRANO Told me everything!
CHRISTIAN Does she love me?
CYRANO Perhaps!
CHRISTIAN [seizing his hands] How happy I am, Monsieur, to make your acquaintance! ...
CYRANO That is what I call a sudden sentiment!
CHRISTIAN Forgive me! ...
CYRANO [looking at him, laying his hand upon his shoulder] It is true that he is handsome, the rascal!
CHRISTIAN If you but knew, Monsieur, how greatly I admire you!...
CYRANO But all those noses which you...
CHRISTIAN I take them back!
CYRANO Roxane expects a letter to-night...
CHRISTIAN Alas!
CYRANO What is the matter?
CHRISTIAN I am lost if I cease to be dumb!
CYRANO How is that?
CHRISTIAN Alas! I am such a dunce that I could kill myself for shame!
CYRANO But, no ... no.... You are surely not a dunce, if you believe you are! Besides, you scarcely attacked me like a dunce.
CHRISTIAN Oh, it is easy to find words in mounting to the assault! Indeed, I own to a certain cheap military readiness, but when I am before women, I have not a word to say.... Yet their eyes, when I pass by, express a kindness toward me ...
CYRANO And do their hearts not express the same when you stop beside them?
CHRISTIAN No!... for I am of those—I recognize it, and am dismayed! —who do not know how to talk of love.
CYRANO Tiens! . . . It seems to me that if Nature had taken more pains with my shape, I should have been of those who do know how to talk of it.
CHRISTIAN Oh, to be able to express things gracefully!
CYRANO Oh, to be a graceful little figure of a passing mousquetaire!
CHRISTIAN Roxane is a precieuse, ... 49 there is no chance but that I shall be a disillusion to Roxane!
CYRANO [looking at CHRISTIAN] If I had, to express my soul, such an interpreter! ...
CHRISTIAN [desperately] I ought to have eloquence! ...
CYRANO [abruptly] Eloquence I will lend you! ... And you, to me, shall lend all-conquering physical charm... and between us we will compose a hero of romance!
CHRISTIAN What?
CYRANO Should you be able to say, as your own, things which I day by day would teach you?
CHRISTIAN You are suggesting? ...
CYRANO Roxane shall not have disillusions! Tell me, shall we win her heart, we two as one? will you submit to feel, transmitted from my leather doublet into your doublet stitched with silk, the soul I wish to share?
CHRISTIAN But Cyrano! ...
CYRANO Christian, will you?
CHRISTIAN You frighten me!
CYRANO Since you fear, left to yourself, to chill her heart, will you consent,—and soon it will take fire, I vouch for it!—to contribute your lips to my phrases?
CHRISTIAN Your eyes shine! ...
CYRANO Will you?
CHRISTIAN What, would it please you so much?
CYRANO [with rapture] It would... [Remembering, and confining himself to expressing an artistic pleasure] ... amuse me! It is an experiment fit surely to tempt a poet. Will you complete me, and let me in exchange complete you? We will walk side by side: you in full light, I in your shadow.... I will be wit to you... you, to me, shall be good looks!
CHRISTIAN But the letter, which should be sent to her without delay? ... Never shall I be able...
CYRANO [taking from his doublet the letter written in the first part of the act] The letter? Here it is!
CHRISTIAN How?...
CYRANO It only wants the address.
CHRISTIAN I...
CYRANO You can send it without uneasiness. It is a good letter. CHRISTIAN You had? ...
CYRANO You shall never find us—poets!—without epistles in our pockets to the Chlorises ... of our imagining! For we are those same that have for mistress a dream blown into the bubble of a name! Take,—you shall convert this feigning into earnest; I was sending forth at random these confessions and laments: you shall make the wandering birds to settle... Take it!You shall see... I was as eloquent as if I had been sincere! Take, and have done!
CHRISTIAN But will it not need to be altered in any part? ... Written without object, will it fit Roxane?
CYRANO Like a glove!
CHRISTIAN But...
CYRANO Trust to the blindness of love... and vanity! Roxane will never question that it was written for her.
CHRISTIAN Ah, my friend! [He throws himself into CYRANO’s arms. They stand embraced.]

SCENE XI

Cyrano, Christian, the Cadets, the Mousquetaire, Lise
 

ONE OF THE CADETS [opening the door a very little] Nothing more.... The stillness of death.... I dare not look... [He thrusts in his head. ] What is this?
ALL THE CADETS [entering and seeing CYRANO and CHRISTIAN locked in each others arms] Ah!... Oh! ...
ONE OF THE CADETS This passes bounds! [Consternation].
THE MOUSQUETAIRE [impudent] Ouais?
CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX Our demon is waxen mild as an apostle; smitten upon one nostril, he turns the other also!
THE MOUSQUETAIRE It is in order now to speak of his nose, is it? [Calling LISE, with a swaggering air] Hey, Lise! now listen and look. [Pointedly sniffing the air.] Oh, ... oh, ... it is surprising! ... what an odor! [Going to CYRANO.] But Monsieur must have smelled it, too? Can you tell me what it is, so plain in the air?
CYRANO [beating him] Why, sundry blows! [Joyful antics of the CADETS in beholding CYRANO himself again. Curtain.]