Chapter Twelve

 

I'm not a virgin anymore, and it's scaring me. I'm lying on Matthew's bed with him of course right beside me, and we're covered with twisted sheets. Of course, we're naked underneath, but eh, it's not the worst thing I've done in my life. My head is resting on Matthew's chest and if my parents ever knew what on earth I just did, they might actually kill me. Honestly, though, it was everything I thought it would be. Pain, love, pain, love. Eh, what can you do? At least we used protection though so we're fine. Meaning I'm fine since guys can't get pregnant and girls have to go through all this hard work just because of not using protection. Sheesh. I wanted Matthew to be my first, and I'm really happy that he was.

  "So, what now?" His voice creeps through my brain and I return back to reality.

  "I don't know. Death?" Matthew sighs and rubs my back. I wanna cry since I'm leaving him in this world, but it's what's best. I'm only gonna make him crazy and depressed just like me, and that would just be horrible. The world doesn't need a depressing couple of anything you know. Death awaits me, as I do too. I stand up and grab the sheets so it can cover me and because I'm honestly freaking cold.

    "I don't want you to leave Genesis. I love you." His words make me cry and somehow now I can't stop crying. Matthew pulls me close and I hug him as hard as I can. Life sucks sometimes, but there's nothing you can do about it.

   "I love you too," I say and I'm surprised how easy I say those words without overthinking it. I love Matthew, and he loves me. Is this a dream or what? I begin to laugh how someone actually loves me in this world, and I'm not making them or bribing them to actually love me.

   "Don't leave Genesis. Stay with me. Please." Depression is a scary thing. Death is scarier now as I realize it. Everyone telling me about what to do scarred my life and brain and haunts me throughout my entire life. I always thought that listening to myself would make everything better in this life, but it's only gotten worse. Smoking cigarettes to make my body die faster, only lead me to the hospital, and to Matthew. Almost getting hit by that car made me realize I almost died in that second, but it only landed me to Matthew. Almost getting choked on mash potatoes lead me to Matthew which was incredibly funny if you think of it. Getting beaten by this chick and ending up in the office, but knowing that Matthew was just outside the door waiting for my words to bring him in. It's all been Matthew from the beginning. He's my angel. I'm just the devil.

  "Let me get this straight though. You work at a supermarket?" I say and Matthew laughs.

  "I want to make my own money Genesis. I don't want to rely on my parent's money and on them. I pay for everything that I use and need. My phone bill, clothes, sports equipment." My eyebrows go up for the "sports equipment" because I've never seen this guy play sports in my entire lifetime of living.

  "You play?" I say and it only makes him laugh even more.

  "You're getting off topic, but yes, I play. I play soccer and I swim." I nod as I check out his arms and see that they're filled with muscles. He also has abs too and this surprises me. Of course, this dude plays sports. He's a guy! I laugh as I think of him actually running around the field just chasing some stupid soccer ball for no good reason.

  "Hilarious. Anyway... I guess you won't let me leave this life then?" I say and he pulls me closer and kisses my head.

  "Why would I ever let you leave this shitty life? You're mine and you know it. I did say I love you so of course, I'm not letting you leave. We die together okay?" I roll my eyes as he thinks we're gonna die together, but I'm just gonna let him get away with that one. I kiss him on his lips for just a second and then I hug him. Yeah, I could get used to this.

   "So, we're in this together huh?" I say and he nods as I'm sure this must be the best day in his entire life. He pulls me back so he can look straight at me.

  "Yup. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." My eyes widen as he basically just said wedding vows in front of me. Wait... are we married now or something? He laughs at my face just shows him how stupid that actually sounded. What kind of guy knows the actual wedding vows by heart? Oh, wait, Matthew. My boyfriend. Oh boy.

  "Uh huh. We are not getting married if that's what you think you weirdo." I say and it only makes him laugh even more. He grabs me and throws me underneath him and I laugh too.

   "Fine. I do though wanna be married to you someday. It'll happen. I'll make you be my wife, Genesis." Those words run through my head and I'm surprised and filled with glee as he thinks I'll be his wife, and he'll be my husband. What a cute little loser.

  "Oh boy. You honestly think we'll survive for that long? I give this a month. Tops." Matthew kisses my nose and I melt as how cute that must've looked.

  "A month? Nah. I can't live without you and you can't live without me. We're crazy like that. We fit perfectly. Plus, I will marry you. You'll see. In fact, wait for one second." My eyebrows go up as Matthew says he'll be back. He puts on his pants and rushes out of his room and goes into another room. I wait for about almost a minute until I hear him say "found it!" and the rushes back into the room. He is so weird sometimes, I can't even. He doesn't sit on the bed yet goes down on one knee and that's when I laugh.

   "No. Not marrying you now nor ever." I say and he just laughs back. Yeah, he's a weirdo. My weirdo. He shakes his head and I come closer to the edge of the bed wrapping the covers around me tightly.

   "Don't worry. This is just a practice." My eyebrows go up and I stare at him with confusion. A practice. What?

   "Uh huh. You didn't like hit your head somewhere when you were searching for this right?" Matthew shakes his head and I mumble an "okay" as I watch and wait for the show. This'll be good.

   "I didn't hit my head, calm down. Close your eyes though." I roll my eyes and he repeats those words again. Ugh.

   "Fine, fine. I'll close my eyes. You weirdo." I close my eyes and I wait for about a second until I hear his voice echo through my brain.

  "Ok, now open them." I open my eyes and my heart stops, but my mind is filled with confusion. It's a gold ring that has a small pink diamond on it.

  "It's beautiful but..." Matthew shuts me off and starts to talk as he holds the open black box that has the ring in it.

  "It's my mother's. My dad bought her this when he met her at the same age we're now. He told that it's a promise ring and that this ring will show their love and hope together until the day they die. I  wanted to give you this because I watched my parents still being in love since they were seventeen. I want to be like them, Genesis. I want us to be like my parents. Still married and still filled with that same love and hope they had when they were kids like us. So, I'm going to repeat this. I'm not marrying you. Not yet anyway, but I want to give this to you as a promise to actually marry you someday.  When you love someone, you know it, and Genesis. I knew I found love when I first met you back in elementary school. So, what do you say? Will you be my fake wife?" A million of words are going through my mind and I'm about to have a heart attack. He wants us to be his parents? He wants me to be his "fake" wife? He actually loves me. He actually loves me! A million of emotions are going through my mind, but the only emotion I feel right now is happiness. I'm happy. For once in my life, I'm actually not thinking about death and dying, but only happiness with Matthew. My Matthew. I'm biting my lip to figure out the perfect words to say until I just say the words he wants me to say.

  "Yes." Yeah, life is funny like that since I'm actually not really getting married, but I'm promising to him that I will actually get married to him. Yeah, we are a weird couple.

   "Yes? Did you say yes?" I laugh as Matthew thinks I'm joking around or pulling a prank on him or something. Yeah, that's what I would think too, but I'm not. For the first time ever, I'm actually telling the truth, and it ain't that bad.

   "Yes, Matthew. I will be your "fake" wife." I say and Matthew puts on the biggest smile I've ever seen him have ever. He kisses me and I kiss him back as to this is actually the weirdest yet cutest thing I've done. I put out my left hand and Matthew pulls the ring right out of the box and then throws the box behind him. I laugh and think how serious this kid is acting right now, but guess what? So am I. He places the ring on my ring finger and I'm in awe of how it fits so perfectly and how beautiful it actually looks. Matthew sits down beside me and looks at the ring on my finger.

   "It's beautiful on you. Funny how it fits though." I laugh and think about how funny it actually is that it fits me perfectly and how life works like that. I turn to Matthew and say the words that I've been dying to here too.

   "Yeah, life's funny on how it works like that. I guess I'm stuck here then so I can make sure you actually marry me in the future." Matthew smiles and I laugh. He takes my hands and kisses both of them.

   "I love you, Genesis. You crazy, depressing girl." I laugh as I like the ringtone of that.

   "I love you too. You weird, stubborn boy." It's funny. Somehow the most depressing girl and the most lovable boy can actually fit together perfectly and shape a heart. Our heart. Filled with death, but life as well. Matthew's my reason to live, I'm just the act behind it.