Cody was pulling into a parking spot at the Citadel Mall when his cell phone rang. He checked the Caller ID. Park and Rec Dept, it read. His heart skipped a beat. Carl Joseph was fine when he left, but maybe he was having a meltdown, weeping for his friends at the center. He flipped open his phone. “Hello?”
“Cody, it’s Kelley.” She sounded frantic, breathless. “Carl Joseph’s disappeared.”
“What?” Cody shouted the word. He felt the blood leave his face. “How could that happen? Have you searched the building?”
“Everywhere. I’ve called the police. They’re on the way.” She let out a single sob. “Cody, I’m so sorry. He painted a picture of Minnie Mouse, and he wrote the name Daisy at the top.” Her words were choppy, mixed with panic. “Then he asked if he could go outside and look at the park. We have a special yard for our disabled club members. Normally the gate’s locked, but today... todaythe maintenance man left it open.” “So he’s gone? No one saw what direction he went?” Cody’s heart tripped into a crazy fast rhythm. He started his truck and backed out of the parking space. In a frenzy he headed back the way he’d come. “Where have you looked?”
“Around the perimeter of the park.” She moaned. “I can’t believe this. When he didn’t come back after a few minutes, !followed him. The gate was open. How far could he have gotten?”
Suddenly Cody felt an awful possibility explode in his mind. “Is there a bus stop near the park?”
“Yes, of course. Right out—” She gasped. “You don’t think...”
“Just a minute.” Cody jerked the truck into the nearest gas station parking lot and did a U-turn. There was only one person who would know the bus routes Carl Joseph might take. He tried to concentrate. “Carl Joseph had his wallet with him. I’m sure he had his bus pass and probably ten dollars.”
“What should I tell the police?” Kelley’s words came fast, filled with fear.
“Tell them Carl Joseph probably took the bus. I’m heading toward the ILC. Carl Joseph was probably trying to get back to the center.”
“How would he know which bus to take?”
Cody forced his head to stop spinning long enough so he could think straight. “His former teacher would know.”
“Anything else? I want to get this to the police right away.”
“Yes.” Cody felt the first tears. His brother was lost somewhere on a city bus. What if he got off and ran into traffic again? Or had a seizure? He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please, Kelley. Pray for Carl Joseph.”
When the call ended, Cody reached the center in record time. They never should’ve pulled Buddy from his friends. Never. Whatever the consequences of this ordeal, they’d have to sort through them later. In the meantime, Cody was grateful for one very good thing.
There wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
He hurried inside, but before he reached the door, he stopped himself. He couldn’t disrupt Elle’s class. Not after all the damage he’d already caused them. Despite his racing heart, he forced himself to exhale. He opened the door slowly, and immediately his eyes found Elle’s. Almost on cue, the students turned their attention to him. Shock filled theirfaces. Two of them cheered out loud and clapped.
Gus pointed at him. “Carl Joseph’s brother!” He grinned big and looked at the others. “Hey, everyone— Carl Joseph’s brother! That means Carl Joseph is coming in next!”
“No.” Cody kept his tone as gentle as he could. Panic was making it hard to draw a breath. Carl Joseph was missing; he couldn’t think of anything else. “Sorry, guys. Carl Joseph isn’t here.” He shot a desperate lookatElle. “Please... can I talk with you outside?”
Elle didn’t look pleased, but she must’ve sensed the urgency in Cody. She motioned to her aide, and the older woman came to the front of the room. The students were talking all at once, guessing where Carl Joseph might be hiding and whether he was still hurt and why Cody would come without his brother.
“Listen.” Elle held up her hand. “I need your attention up here. I’ll speak to Mr. Gunner and I’ll be right back.”
She followed Cody outside the classroom. When the door was shut she turned to him, her expression a mix of confusion and concern. “My students have only today stopped asking every ten minutes about your brother. I’ve asked if you would call before—”
“Elle, I need your help!” Cody’s mouth was dry. His mind was racing, picturing his brother catching a bus to Denver or getting mugged. “Carl Joseph’s missing. I took him to the park, to a club meeting, and he left.” He paused, horrified. “I think he took the bus.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Dear God, no...” She took a step back. “Wait here.”
Cody stayed outside, but he watched through the window. Elle pulled her aide aside and whispered something.
The moment she was outside, Cody caught her hand and ran with her back to his truck. He tried not to think about how her hand felt in his. All that mattered was his buddy. “You know the bus routes, the ones Carl Joseph knows.”
“Yes.” She waited until he opened the passenger door. “Get in and drive to Adler Street.”
Cody raced around the front of the truck, and as he jumped into the driver’s seat he felt a sense of relief. Elle would help him. They’d find Carl Joseph. They had to find him.
Before the unthinkable happened.
Carl Joseph felt bad about what he’d done.
The nice lady, Kelley, was his mom’s friend. Carl Joseph remembered her coming to the house. But no one said he had to stay. Cody would come back in three hours. Kelley told him that. Three hours was enough time fora field trip. Teacher said so.
When Carl Joseph went into the yard and out the gate, the bus was just coming. He remembered his wallet. “Every time you go out, Carl Joseph, make sure you have two things with you,” Teacher had said. “Your bus pass and ten dollars.” So that morning he remembered.
He walked over, and when the bus stopped, he climbed on. All by himself. And the driver was friendly. He asked where Carl Joseph wanted to go. There was no line of people, and no one was pushing him to move along, move along. He licked his lips and pulled his wallet from his jeans pocket. He showed his pass, and then something else. He showed the card from Elle Dalton. The one from the center.
“Here.” He pointed at the card. “I want to go to the center.”
The man was still friendly. He said to take the bus four stops and then he would say what to do next. Carl Joseph sat down near a window. ’Cause window seats showed the whole world outside. That’s what Gus said every time they had a field trip.
But when Carl Joseph sat down, he felt scared and sad. ’Cause maybe he should ask the driver to call his mom or call Brother. The bus was a big place without any other students. And no Teacher, too. And no Daisy, who knew the bus routes better than all the students put together.
He pushed himself close to the window and tapped his feet. Maybe he would call his mom when he got to the center. She could tell the nice Kelley that Carl Joseph was sorry for leaving. Sorry for not saying good-bye. He pressed his forehead against the glass. It felt hot, so he pulled back.
Then he remembered about the life skill. He closed his eyes. “Dear God, I don’t like this.” He whispered the prayer. But maybe it was loud because the driver looked back at him.
“You okay, pal?”
“Yes, pal.” Carl Joseph sat up straighten “I’m okay.” His heart was pounding hard. “D-A-l-S-Y... D-A-l-S-Y” He spelled her name a few times. Very quietly. Then he talked to God once more. “Help me, God. Help me now.”
They reached four stops, because the driver stopped the bus. Then he stood up and came back. Carl Joseph was the only person on the bus. “This is your stop.”
Carl Joseph stood, but his legs felt shaky. Like after he rode Ace. He swallowed and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “What now?”
“Follow me.” The driver led him slowly down the middle aisle and slowly onto the steps. On the sidewalk, the driver pointed across the street. “Cross at the light and walk one block. There’s a blue bench. Take that
bus five stops and you’ll be right at the center.”
Carl Joseph smiled. See? He could do this. He could take a bus and go see Daisy. He should’ve done it sooner. Then Brother wouldn’t have to work with him so much. It was better when he and Brother were friends. Now Brotherwas trying to change him. ’Cause he wanted to change him.
Carl Joseph shook the bus driver’s hand. “Thank you, pal.”
“You’re welcome.” He hesitated. “You sure you’re okay?”
“A-okay.” He felt less wobbly. A-okay was what Tammy said. It sounded professional. “Yes, very a-okay.”
The bus driver climbed back up the steps of the big bus. Then he closed the door and drove away. Carl Joseph walked six steps, ’cause he counted them. ’Cause counting was a life skill, too. Then he stopped and looked around. Was he supposed to cross straight ahead? Or straight across? He took two steps straightahead. His heart started to beat faster again.
Then he turned and took three steps toward the other light. He blinked four times. Which way was it? He covered his face with his hands and turned around and around. First one direction, then the other. The bus driver called him Pal. Then what? Which way was he supposed to go?
“Life skills, Carl Joseph,” he told himself. “Think of life skills.” He parted his fingers and peered out. Two people passing by looked at him. They had scared faces. “Life skills,” he told them. “Time for life skills.”
The people kept walking. Carl Joseph couldn’t hear. His heart was beating too hard, ’cause he didn’t like this. He was alone and he was about to cry. But the first life skill was praying, ’cause praying made you remember that... that you were never alone! Carl Joseph dropped his hands to his sides and looked up at the sky. Straight up. It was bright blue, no rain at all. “God, I want to go to the center. I forget which way.”
He was about to look at the lights again, walk up to each crossing line and decide what to do, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Maybe it was Brother or his mom. He turned around and right away he covered his face again.
’Cause policemen only came when there was trouble. Big, big trouble.
And right there his eyes started shaking back and forth. Back and forth and back and forth. And his mouth came open and he couldn’t say anything. ’Cause his legs and arms were shaking and then he was falling.
And everything, everywhere turned the blackest of black.