Rachel felt herself falling and awoke with a jerk. She yawned then smiled when she realized she wasn’t dreaming. Her arms were wrapped around her father’s waist, and his warm hand held tight to her forearm. He wouldn’t let her fall. Her head rested against the rock-hard muscles of his back. The steady rocking of the horse’s gait and the soft squeaking of the saddle threatened to lull her back to sleep. Gentle vibrations tickled her cheek as she listened to the mellow song her pa sang. What was that tune? It sounded vaguely familiar. “Carry Me Back to Ole Virginny.”
Rachel bolted upright! Though the War Between the States had ended nearly a quarter of a century ago, her papa had remained a Yankee all his days. He’d never sing such a song. Her nostrils flared, and her jaw tightened as she clenched her teeth. She’d been lying against Josh’s back, and he still maintained a tight grip on her wrist. The once warm sensation now burned her forearm like a branding iron. She tried to jerk it away, but he held it firmly.
“Let go of me,” she hissed with the venom of a diamondback rattler.
“So, you’re finally awake,” he drawled in a smooth accent that held just a hint of the South. “Thought you might sleep the whole day.”
“Why are you holding on to me?”
“Me? You started to fall and grabbed me around the waist, hanging on for dear life.”
“Did not!” she said, jerking her hands free with such fierceness that she lost her balance. Her arms flapped in the air like a chicken with clipped wings until she managed to grab hold of Josh’s waist again. His low, rumbling chuckle made her want to punch him. Instead, she released him and crossed her arms.
Josh went back to his singing. His voice, though not as deep as many men’s, had a clear, crisp tone. Rachel could envision him crooning with his ranch hands around an evening campfire.
After a while, he quieted, and they rode in comfortable silence. “So, you gonna tell me what you two are doing out here?”
His words jarred her out of her musing. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“I reckon it is since I came to your rescue.”
That seemed fair. He probably saved their lives. She bit down on her bottom lip and contemplated how much to tell him. “Grandpa and I are traveling to my uncle’s ranch near Amarillo. We’re going to live with him.”
“Where do you hail from?”
“Dodge City.”
Josh rubbed the back of his neck. His tanned hand ruffled the long, dark hair that fringed his collar, and Rachel had a fleeting desire to smooth it back down. She shook her head to rid it of the errant thought. There was no sense allowing herself to be attracted to Joshua Stafford. She wouldn’t be staying long at their ranch—and besides, she still hadn’t decided whether she could trust him or not.
“Well, looks like you made it about halfway. Why didn’t you just take the stage? Would have been a lot faster and safer.”
Rachel stiffened and took a quick breath. She couldn’t tell him they were running away from the man who killed her papa. Cyrus Lawton. A snake who used his appealing good looks to charm women. She’d fallen under his spell, but when she realized her mistake and tried to cut off their relationship, Cy had tried to force himself on her.
Rachel straightened, determined not to cry, though remembering that tragic day always made her weep. She sniffed and wiped her moist eyes. If she didn’t get control of her emotions, Josh would surely figure she was a woman.
Rachel remembered the scene as if it just happened. She’d been alone, cleaning Pa’s barbershop, when Cy confronted her. He’d made the mistake of pulling down the shades to hide his deed. When her pa came back from the bank and saw the shades down, he must have become suspicious because he came into the shop instead of going on home. Cy had already wrestled her to the ground. Her pa grabbed the broom as he raced toward them. But Cy deftly pulled a small pistol from his jacket and shot her father. Oh, Papa.
“Hey? You fall asleep again, or did you just fall off?” She heard the smile in Josh’s voice. When she didn’t respond, Josh lithely lifted his right leg over the saddle horn and twisted around, sitting sideways in the saddle.
Rachel felt her eyes widen, and her breath slowed at the closeness of his face. Her heart raced as her gaze locked with his. Sapphires—his eyes reminded her of dark-blue sapphires, just like the ones in Melba Phillips’s wedding ring.
Rachel lowered her gaze. A dark shadow of whiskers shaded his tanned face, and his strong chin was etched with a shallow cleft. Why couldn’t she have met him before … before her life had broken into fragments like the tiny shards of a shattered mirror?
She clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Stop it! Stop it! She had to stop thinking this way. Anger filled her being. Anger that she’d lost their horses. Anger over her papa’s senseless death. Anger that Cyrus Lawton had nearly had his way with her. Anger that Josh Stafford could affect her so.
She opened her eyes and glared up at him.
He leaned back a fraction, and his eyebrows shot up. “Whoa! What’d I do now?”
“Nothing,” she blurted out. “Just turn around.”
Josh’s lips tightened into a mock smile, and he gave her a brief salute. “Yes, sir, whatever you say, boss.”
Rachel breathed a sigh of relief when he turned. She was tired, weary, and would like nothing more than to close her eyes and go to sleep in a big, soft bed.
Why, God? Why did You have to let Papa get killed? You already have Mama. Wasn’t she enough? Don’t You know how much I needed Pa? Are You going to take Grandpa from me, too?
Near the end of her second day of riding behind Josh, a soft mooing drew Rachel’s attention away from counting the squares in Josh’s blue plaid shirt to a herd of cattle peacefully grazing on a nearby hill. As they rode through the herd, the cows raised their heads almost in unison and stared at them with bovine incredulity. She’d never seen so many cattle. She glanced back at Grandpa then inched closer to Josh.
“Are all these yours?”
Josh nodded. “Yep! But this is only a small herd. We have a lot more out on the south range. We brought this batch up a couple weeks ago so we could brand the new calves.”
“Do you like raising cattle?”
He didn’t answer her immediately, and she’d begun to think he didn’t hear her.
“Well, since you asked, I don’t dislike it.” He paused again. “But my secret dream is to raise horses. I love working with horses. They’re so much smarter than cows. Besides, I think there’s a real opportunity to sell good stock horses to the army and to other ranches in these parts.”
He reached back and massaged his neck. After a deep sigh, he continued. “My brothers won’t give me a chance to try; they keep me busy working the cattle all the time. It’s just that they’ll always think of me as the younger brother. Lou, my sister, is younger than me, but she gets more respect than I do.”
Josh looped his leg around the saddle horn and turned sideways again. Rachel leaned back a fraction and grasped hold of the saddle’s cantle to keep from falling off. She thought about asking him to turn around, but his serious tone held her silent.
“When I was little, I had a hard time concentrating on one thing for very long. I tended to start a job and not finish it. My dad was always quoting the verse in the Bible to me about finishing the race. ‘Be a finisher, Joshua,’ he kept telling me.” He looked down and fiddled with the reins. “School was hardest for me, but Grandma and Lou never gave up, and I finally learned. I even read more than my brothers now. But Micah and Sam still look at me as that flighty kid. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to prove myself to them.”
Rachel noticed the rise and fall of Josh’s chest as he released a huge breath. She wondered how hard it had been for him to share his feelings. This was the first time he had shared anything personal, and she realized that this strong, confident cowboy might be vulnerable, too. Her heart softened toward him in that moment.
Why did I tell that scrawny kid all my secrets? Josh smacked his forehead with his palm. It was too late to take it all back. He sighed and wondered what Lee would do with the information. Probably nothing. Maybe I’m just making a mountain out of a molehill.
The truth was, he’d felt an instant connection with the stranded boy, at least he did once Lee had quit trying to shoot him. He smiled at the memory. Grandma would call Lee a kindred spirit. Josh wondered if this was the way a man felt toward a younger brother. He scowled. Well, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes his brothers had made. He would trust Lee and try to teach him and guide him while he was at the ranch. This could actually be fun—if only he could get Lee to fully trust him.
Josh thought back to the time Lou had been sprayed by a skunk. He sighed. It had been funny at the time, but now he saw how immature he’d acted. And he had failed to bring Lou’s clothes back—all because of a horse. When would he quit failing people? Taking Lee under his wing and toughening up the sissified boy might just go a long way in showing his family that he’d matured and could be trusted.
He heard Lee’s loud gasp and reined Sultan to a stop atop the hill.
“Is that your ranch?” Lee asked, the astonishment evident in his voice.
“Yep! That’s the Crossed S—actually we’ve been on it ever since I found you.”
This location was one of Josh’s favorites. Whenever he’d been gone for a time, he liked to stop on top of this hill and survey his home. Warmth and peace flooded him. Spring was the best time of year to enjoy the view, before the killing heat of summer dried everything out. Thanks to recent rains, fresh sprigs of newborn grass created a lush green carpet across the countryside. White and yellow wildflowers lifted their tiny faces toward the sky as if in praise to God. Normally, he would breathe in their fresh, floral fragrance, but with a couple hundred head of cattle nearby, Josh reconsidered taking a deep whiff.
Eager to be home, he spurred his horse forward. As they rode down the hill toward the ranch, he realized something for the first time. Someday, when he met the woman he wanted to spend his life with, this very hill was the spot where he’d propose. He smiled to himself, surprised at the direction his thoughts had taken him. I wonder just how many years will pass before that happens.
He shook his head and directed his thoughts back to his brothers. Though they didn’t totally put their confidence in him, he knew without a doubt they loved him. And then there were Lou and Grandma. Josh thanked God again for his close-knit family. They weren’t perfect, but he loved them all.
“I didn’t realize it would be so big.”
“It has to be big; lots of people live there. Micah, my oldest brother, and my sister, Lou, are both married. Deborah, Micah’s wife, is with child. Then there’s Grandma. She’s a wildcat and needs lots of room. And there’s Sam and me.”
“You’re lucky to have such a nice home and a big family.” Lee’s sigh tickled the hairs on the back of Josh’s neck. “I always wanted to be part of a big family.”
Josh barely heard the whispered words. The yearning in Lee’s voice tugged at his heart.
“What about your parents?” Lee asked.
“They’re dead. Have been for a while.”
“Guess we have something in common.”
Josh nodded and pointed out a smaller building near the large barn. “That’s the bunkhouse. I’ll drop you off and get you settled before I take care of the animals.”
Lee inhaled a sharp breath, making Josh wonder what he’d said wrong this time.