Alice sat in her drawing room staring at the papers laid out on the table before her.
It was the day after the dinner. She’d heard nothing except for a brief note from Macey telling her everything had gone off without a hitch. She gave no other details.
Alice had lain awake most of the night by turns staring dry-eyed at the dark ceiling and tossing this way and that, wondering, worrying, fretting.
She hadn’t had the energy or heart to go to the office this morning. It was almost too much to keep up a front before Austen at breakfast. It was with relief that she’d bid him goodbye as he went off to the park with Nanny Grove.
Then as she’d sat in the drawing room, her hands idle, her maid had brought in a large, thick envelope in the morning’s post.
Not recognizing the writing on it, but seeing the name of Nick’s firm on the return address, she quickly opened it.
Instead of any kind of letter, a thick sheaf of official looking documents fell out on her lap. Only a small white square of notepaper clipped to the top contained Nicholas’s writing. She grabbed it up eagerly.
It only held one sentence:
I was saving these for your wedding gift. Seeing that is no longer a possibility, I am giving them to you now.
No closing, only the scrawl of his name: Nicholas.
Feeling a sharp jab of disappointment that there were no explanations, no apologies, nothing, she finally turned to examine the papers.
At first they made no sense. But her heart began to pound when she saw the fancy scroll of the name of Shepard and Steward, Ltd. across several.
Many of the pages seemed to be shares made out to her. She continued reading, growing more confused as she saw articles and documents about the London Building Society, among other building firms. Newspaper clippings she’d read herself detailed the problems and complaints with their substandard building practices. Further on she found numerous documents with the names of other companies. Little by little she began to decipher the information.
It listed all the companies that had invested in these building societies and described the amounts of their investments. It was like following a maze, so many companies seemed to be owned by others, making it difficult to track which company had invested in which building society.
Her head ached from reading so much fine print. But she didn’t stop until she had succeeded in following the path of one, whose investment in the building societies was indubitably clear. Shepard and Steward, Limited.
The papers fell to her lap, as she stared before her.
What had her father been responsible for?
“Well, you see, I need to go away for a bit.” Nicholas sat on the park bench facing the Round Pond at Kensington Gardens, his head bent toward Austen.
Alice held her breath, trying to catch his next words.
Austen swung his legs back and forth on the bench. “Where do you have to go?”
“Back to America. It’s where I came from.”
“Maybe I can come, too?”
Nicholas draped his arm across the back of the bench. “Maybe some day. But now you have your lessons, and your mother, and Moppet.”
Before Austen could reply, Alice stepped forward. They both turned around.
Austen smiled brightly at her. “Hello, Mama.”
“Hello, Austen. I’m glad you are still here.” She’d taken a chance that perhaps she’d find Nicholas with him. She turned stricken eyes to him, afraid he’d get up and leave.
But he only watched her, his expression unreadable. Taking a deep breath, she walked around the iron bench to face them.
Austen’s face turned serious. “Mama, Mr. Tennent has told me he has to go away. Why can’t we come with him like he did with us to France?”
She moistened her lips, clutching her handbag in front of her. “I don’t know. Perhaps he’ll be very busy with his work.”
Austen immediately turned to Nicholas. “Will you be very busy?”
She closed her eyes, too afraid of hearing his reply.
“I’ll never be too busy for you.”
She bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears at the reply.
Trying to compose herself once again, she approached Austen and knelt down in front of him. “Austen, darling, Mama needs to talk to Mr. Tennent. I want you to go home with Nanny Grove now.”
“But Mama, Mr. Tennent just came.”
“I understand. But this is a serious talk.”
“Are you going to say goodbye to him?”
She swallowed, finding it hard to speak. “I don’t know…Perhaps—” she chanced a glance at Nicholas before looking away as quickly “—he can stop by and see you a bit later.”
Nicholas’s hand squeezed Austen’s shoulder. “I’ll do so, I promise.”
Her son nodded his head to him then slid off the bench.
She stood and motioned for Miss Grove who sat knitting on another bench a bit farther away. “I’ll see you in a little while, Austen.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek.
He turned to Nicholas. “You’ll come soon?”
Nicholas ruffled his hair and smiled. “Yes, very soon.”
The two watched Austen walk away with his nanny.
Alice braced herself when Nicholas turned back to her. “I received the documents you sent me.”
When he made no reply, she cleared her throat and looked down. “I came to ask for your forgiveness.” She took another deep breath. “You see, before yesterday, I had no idea I owned a share of my father’s company.”
“Your brother didn’t inform you?”
At his sharp tone she looked up and shook her head. “My brother and father never saw fit to involve me in the business.” She gave a bitter laugh. “Especially once my father disinherited me.” Moistening her lips she continued. “I was hit with a few too many surprises yesterday afternoon.”
“I’m sorry I had to be among them.” Nicholas shifted over on the bench. “Why don’t you sit down?”
She complied, her knees feeling shaky.
He cleared his throat. “I began investigating your family’s firm when I first returned. I admit I probably did it mostly out of curiosity. Your father was no longer around to give me the satisfaction of showing him I’d made good. The next best thing was to see how your father’s firm had done over the years compared with my own.” He paused. “I was also astounded to discover your father had disinherited you. I think this most of all prompted my investigation.”
She watched his profile as he spoke. Her hand ached to reach out and touch his beloved face, to smooth his hair, but although he sat only a few inches from her, she felt he was miles away.
“What I found was that your brother had not only mismanaged your family’s firm, but the types of investments were also unsound. The deeper I went, the more concerned I grew. Your brother is close to bankruptcy.”
She shook her head. No wonder Geoffrey had been so frantic the day before.
He looked down at his loosely clasped hands. “I didn’t know how to tell you, perhaps that’s why I kept silent. Your father’s firm was responsible for some of the shoddy housing of the kind you were showing me that day.
“One of the companies responsible for investing in some of the building firms has another name, but your brother is the principal behind it, your father before him. They put up the money, hoping for a quick return on their investment.”
She hadn’t been wrong in her interpretation of the documents. “You should have told me.”
His dark eyes gazed into hers and she wished with all her heart that she’d never distrusted him. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought instead that I could put a stop to it by buying out your father’s partner. When I discovered you also owned some shares, I saw my way clear to gaining control of the company, as well as shore it up before your brother ran it into the ground completely. It is, after all, your son’s inheritance.”
She shook her head sadly. “As Geoffrey pointed out to me.”
“I was going to present you the shares I’d purchased on our wedding day—that is, if you’d ever agreed to marry me.” His lips twisted. “I had no interest in running your company—as long as you discharged Geoffrey as president—and got rid of Victor as chief counsel. His advice has not aided your brother in making sound decisions.”
“So, he, too, has been privy to Geoff’s mismanagement?”
“Yes.”
The silence stretched out before them. “I’m sorry, Nicholas, for not trusting you.” She looked down at her hands. “I was afraid to.”
“Why?” he asked softly.
“I was afraid to feel what I had for you before.”
“Was it because your father sent you away?”
She put a hand to her mouth, unable to stop the tears. “Because it hurt to love you. When Father dismissed you, I didn’t understand that it would be for good. I kept expecting to see you, that somehow you’d come back—” Her words became incoherent.
“I’m sorry I left you the way I did that day, without a word. Believe me, it was not my intention.”
She couldn’t stop weeping. “I waited for word from you—some word, anything. My father said only that he had sent you away.” She swallowed. “I cried and cried. I had nothing from you…and then I remembered that afternoon we went riding in Richmond Park—”
She dug frantically in her handbag. “After you left, I went back there and found these.” She pulled out the two handkerchiefs they’d used that day. “You probably don’t even remember, but you’d given me your handkerchief to dry my face. They were still there, lying on the rock where I’d spread them out to dry.”
He took the two handkerchiefs from her. They were wrinkled but neatly folded in squares. His monogram was clearly visible in the corner of one. “Yes…I remember that day very well,” he said softly, fingering his initials.
“It was all I had of you. Then Father sent me away in disgrace. It was so awful,” she sobbed. “Being with those relatives was like being a prisoner. I never felt more alone in my life. I didn’t understand being punished so cruelly just for loving you. Every day I expected you to come back, to contact me somehow. I dreamed of how you’d come back and rescue me…”
Somewhere in her incoherent speech, Nicholas had put his arm around her. He stroked her hair and murmured soothing words. “Don’t fret yourself, Alice.”
“I loved you so much…I would have gone anywhere with you—”
“Dear, sweet Alice, it wouldn’t have been possible. I was penniless.”
“I wouldn’t have cared—”
She sniffled and Nicholas handed her her old handkerchief. She took it and blew her nose and wiped her eyes.
In a calmer voice, she continued. “For a long time I felt abandoned by everyone, even God. It wasn’t until I met Julian a few years later that he helped me find solace. He showed me that the Lord loved me and hadn’t abandoned me. Through His grace I was able to forgive Father—and you—for never coming back.”
She sat up and looked at Nicholas. His dark eyes had softened. “I thought I was fully healed until I saw you again.” She pressed her lips together, afraid she would begin to cry once more. “You showed me how fearful I still was. I was afraid of losing Austen, afraid of what you made me feel again…”
She clutched the handkerchief in her hand, ashamed of looking at him. “Can you ever forgive me for not trusting you?” she whispered.
He covered her hand with his own. “If you can forgive me for not trusting your feelings for me enough to confide in you.”
“Oh, Nicholas, I was so afraid you would choose your business concerns over me.”
He looked down, and for a moment she was worried she had offended him again. Then he said, “I love you and Austen more than any material thing I own. When my mother died, and I couldn’t be here in time to say farewell, I realized how futile everything I’d striven for was without having someone to love.”
She drew away enough to say, “I love you.”
“I’ll never replace Julian.”
She placed her hand against his cheek wanting to erase the bleak look in his eyes. “You never will because you have no need to. You were in my heart first.”
A smile began to warm the dark depths of his gaze. “Does this mean you will marry me?”
“If you’ll have me, and Austen.”
He nodded. “I love both of you and hope I can be the husband you want me to be, and the father Austen needs.”
“Oh, Nicholas, will you promise to always tell me what is closest to your heart?”
He drew her toward him and she came willingly, at long last feeling she was in the right place. “I will trust you with my deepest dreams and fears,” he whispered against her hair, “and never fear your love won’t be strong enough to bear it.”
She leaned toward him, her fingers tunneling his short hair, and he drew forward, his lips finding hers.
Long minutes later, she asked, “Are you still leaving for America?”
“Not immediately—unless you want to go. When I came back to England, I meant to come for good.”
She smiled. “I’m glad you’ve come home, although it would be nice to see America.”
“You shall.”
Some time after, he murmured against her cheek, “I hope you’ll get rid of Victor as your solicitor now.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll take care of the matter if you wish.”
She laughed against his chin. “That’s all right. I’ve known him all my life. I’ll do it.”
“Only if I’m present,” he growled, his lips nibbling her earlobe.
She smiled in gratitude and understanding. “Thank you. I hope I shall always have you around to face all unpleasantness.”
“Your wish is my command,” he chuckled.
“You are indeed a man most worthy.”