The following day, Kiara was having lunch with Sabrina, trying to choke down a Cobb salad and pretend everything was fine, when her eyes darted to her ringing cell phone.
Her disappointment must have registered when she saw it wasn’t Blaise, because Sabrina asked, “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you?”
Trying to keep a secret from her best friend was pointless. Besides, she needed Sabrina’s advice. “Blaise found out he’s not the father of Marla’s baby.”
“That’s good news, right?” Sabrina asked, frowning. “So why aren’t you happy?”
“Because Blaise isn’t.” She sighed. “I mean, you’d think he would be, right? But apparently the prospect of becoming a daddy made him realize he wants to become one for real, and he doesn’t want to wait.”
Sabrina shrugged. “I’m not surprised. He’s mid-thirties, financially secure, basically retired. Why wait, right?”
“Why wait?” Kiara asked, feeling as exasperated with Sabrina as she had with Blaise. “Because we just started dating. We’re still getting to know each other. Am I the only one who thinks it’s crazy to consider marrying a man and having his babies after you’ve only known each other a few months?”
Sabrina laughed, waving her fork before piercing a slice of chicken. “You’re asking the wrong person. It took eight years before I was ready to walk down the aisle with Dylan, so I’d say I’m at the other end of the spectrum.”
“But you know Dylan. Nothing he could say or do would surprise you now.”
“Don’t be so sure about that,” Sabrina said, wiggling her eyebrows comically. “He still surprises me plenty.”
Kiara blushed. “That’s not what I meant. I just always thought…” Trying to find the right words to explain how she felt when she wasn’t even sure it made sense was frustrating. “I’d marry my best friend.”
“Of course,” Sabrina said. “That’s what everyone wants. So you don’t feel that way about Blaise?”
Did she? “We’re close.” She took a bite of salad, forcing herself to chew slowly. “Really close.”
“Do you trust him with your secrets? Is he the kind of guy you could tell anything and he wouldn’t judge you?”
Kiara didn’t even have to consider her response. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” Sabrina looked thoughtful as she chewed. “Interesting.”
“What is?”
“You used to say you felt like you couldn’t be yourself with the other guys you dated. Even Eli.”
“Yeah, but I was young and stupid back then.” At least she was when she’d dated Eli. Kiara couldn’t say the same about her more recent relationships.
“And now you’re smart enough to realize you want honesty and trustworthiness in a relationship. You told me not so long ago those are two of the most important things to you. I know Blaise kept some things from you in the beginning.” Sabrina wiped her mouth with a napkin before reaching for her water glass. “Do you think he’s learned from his mistakes? Do you think he’ll be honest with you from now on?”
Kiara shook her head, giving the question the careful consideration it deserved. “Yes, I do.”
“You said he’s away? He went back to his hometown, right?”
“Yeah.” Kiara could tell by her friend’s demeanor that she was trying to make a point. “So?”
“I don’t have to remind you Blaise is still a pretty big deal. I bet he’s like the hometown hero in Richmond. Hell, he probably has a key to the city and some community center or something named after him.” Sabrina grinned. “Maybe he even has his handsome mug on one of those welcome signs or a street named after him.”
Kiara stabbed her salad, feeling even more morose that he’d changed his mind about taking her. She wanted to see where he’d grown up, meet Charlie and his parents, and see his hometown’s pride in him.
“Bet he has lots of old girlfriends who still live there too,” Sabrina said, quirking an eyebrow. She tried to keep a straight face when Kiara gave her a dirty look. “I’m just saying, I bet the fact that he’s back won’t be a secret for long. People will probably be tweeting and posting pics of him all over the place.”
“I guess.” Kiara reached for her soft drink. “But what does that have to do with—”
“Do you trust him not to cheat on you?”
The question felt like a kick in the stomach. “How can you even ask me that?” She tossed her napkin down beside her plate. “What the hell, Sabrina? How would you feel if Dylan were out of town and I was making you paranoid about whether he was being faithful to you?”
“You couldn’t.”
“Excuse me?” Kiara didn’t argue with Sabrina often, but they were definitely heading down a slippery slope with this conversation.
“Nothing you could say would make me believe that my man would cheat on me. Can you say the same?”
“That’s not fair!” Kiara felt tears spring to her eyes. “Dylan’s been in love with you forever. Blaise just told me he loved me a couple months ago, and a hell of a lot has happened since then.”
“So that’s why you’re here and he’s there? Because you’re having second thoughts about your relationship? You needed some time to sort things out?”
“No.” Kiara sighed, sinking back in her seat as her anger turned to sadness. “I didn’t go because he didn’t want me to. Well, he did. But then he changed his mind.”
“How come?”
“Because he suggested we get married,” Kiara said, lowering her voice. She expected Sabrina to look shocked, but she didn’t.
“And you told him you weren’t ready?”
“I just said I needed more time.” Her response had seemed perfectly logical at the time, but she was starting to question whether she’d been a fool to put him off.
“Because you don’t trust him enough yet?”
“I never said that!”
“Well, what are you saying?”
“I’m just trying to be sensible, to make good decisions that I won’t end up regretting later.”
“Ah,” Sabrina said, picking up her fork again. “Good, so you don’t regret telling him you wouldn’t marry him and letting him return to Richmond without you?”
“I don’t know.” Kiara reached into her purse and tapped two pain relievers into her hand under the table. Their conversation was giving her a headache.
“I suggest you figure it out before your man comes back and tells you he doesn’t want a woman who can’t put her faith in him and your relationship.”
Oh God, Sabrina was right. Now what?
***
Blaise walked into the community center where his old friend Charlie had been a permanent fixture for nearly forty years. Blaise was happy to see the million dollars he’d donated the previous year had been put to good use. He didn’t care that the building now bore his name. He cared that the kids who came there after school had a clean, bright, safe place with people who genuinely cared about them.
He barely recognized the place anymore. No more holes in the wall. No more peeling paint. No more stained carpet or cracked tiles. No more graffiti on the outside of the building. The old building now had a decidedly different vibe, as if there was hope inside those walls. Hope for a better, more prosperous future, and it made him proud to know he’d played a small part in that.
“I don’t believe my eyes.” Charlie limped toward Blaise, a huge grin splitting his wrinkled, weathered face. Arthritis had set in, and he walked with a cane.
Charlie had lived a hard life. There had never been enough money when he was growing up, and he’d fallen victim to the usual vices before turning his life around and getting a job at the center. Blaise thanked God every day their paths had crossed. Without Charlie, Blaise hated to think where he might have ended up.
“Hey, Charlie.” Blaise matched his smile, pulling him into a half hug as they shook hands.
“What brings you to town, boy?”
“Came to see you.” He fell into step beside Charlie, walking back to the small office in the back of the building. “And the folks. But mostly you. I guess you heard about my fight with Morin?”
“Sure did.” Charlie chuckled, the raspy sound revealing his many years as a smoker. “You’re gonna whup his sorry ass. No doubt in my mind.”
That’s what Blaise loved most about Charlie. He never questioned Blaise’s decisions, and his support never wavered. “I appreciate your confidence in me.”
They holed up in the office, Charlie pointing at one of two metal guest chairs on the opposite side of his desk. “Take a load off. You picked a good time to come in. We get a small crowd around lunch time, but things don’t really start humming until the kids get out of school.”
“I might have to come back then,” Blaise said, smiling. It would be nice to see Charlie back in action. His body may have worn down, but nothing could dull his spirit or the light in his bright green eyes. “I’d love to meet the group you’re working with.”
“Oh man, they’d love that. I catch them looking at your picture sometimes, talking about how cool it would be to be up on that wall, with all that money and millions of fans. That’s when I tell them you didn’t do it for the money or the fans. You did it for the thrill of competition, because you took pride in being a winner.”
“That’s what I tried to explain to my girlfriend.” Blaise sighed. “She’s not too happy I’m getting back in the ring.”
Charlie’s smile revealed a missing lower tooth that had done nothing to abate his urge to laugh or smile. “I can’t say I blame her. She’s smart to be concerned. You’re taking a hell of a risk getting back in the ring, but I don’t have to tell you that. You know.”
“I do.”
“And I know you well enough to know there’s not a damn thing anyone can say to change your mind once it’s made up, right?”
“Right.”
“Your lady must know that too, if she knows you at all.”
Blaise knew Kiara wouldn’t try to change him, and that her concern was borne of love, but he would give anything to have her support and understanding before stepping into that ring. “She does.”
Charlie cackled, an infectious sound that always made people turn and stare before they inevitably joined in on the laughter. “Can’t keep a good man down, that’s what they say.”
“I told her one more fight. After this one, I’m done.”
“And then?” Charlie asked, lacing his fingers over his paunch.
“You know I bought the gym. That’s going well. I think I’ll expand, maybe open a new location.”
“Sounds like that’ll satisfy your urge for a challenge, but what will you do to feed your passion?”
“What do you mean?” Blaise knew what Charlie was getting at, but he didn’t have an answer. He suspected that was part of the reason for his visit—he needed his old friend to help him shed some light on his options.
“You’re a boxer, Blaise. It’s not just what you did, or do. It’s who you are. It’s an attitude, a lifestyle. It runs through your veins.”
“I know.” Blaise had been trying to deny that ever since the doctors told him it was over, but he felt as though they’d severed a limb instead of just ending his career. “Rowan and I reconnected recently. I’m going to help him get his amateur license, train him, and set up a few charity fights. I’m working with a few other amateur boxers at my gym, training them. One guy has a lot of potential. I’m not sure the others have what it takes to go the distance, though.”
“You ever think about working with kids?” Charlie asked. “I can tell you from experience, there’s nothing more rewarding.”
Blaise thought about the conversation he’d had with Kiara before he left. His desire to have children was as strong now as it had been then, but if she wasn’t ready to make that kind of commitment, maybe Charlie’s suggestion would help fill that void until she was ready. “It’s not a bad idea.” Blaise stroked the scruff on his cheek. “But what are you thinking, that I should volunteer at a center like this?”
“You could. Are there any youth groups for boxers in your area? You know, for underprivileged kids?”
“Not that I know of. Why?”
“Think about what you and Rowan were like when you came to me,” Charlie said. “You were angry. You were getting into trouble, fighting all the time ‘cause you had all this aggression and didn’t know how to get it out.”
“You’re right about that.”
“Boxing gave you an outlet. It could do the same for a lot of other kids who are on the same self-destructive path you were on.”
Blaise had heard about A-ha moments, but he couldn’t claim he’d experienced very many. This was definitely one. Everything Charlie said made sense. His life was coming full circle to bring him back to the place where he’d started. He could mentor kids who’d been just like he was. Lost. Scared. Alone. Hostile. Frustrated.
“You already have the advantage of being someone they’ll look up to right off the bat. It wasn’t so easy for me. I was a nobody here, and I had to work long and hard to earn the kids’ trust and prove that I wasn’t like all the other adults who’d let them down.”
“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” Blaise said, smiling. “Just like I knew you would.”
Charlie smirked. “Tell me about this lady of yours. She must be something special. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you mentioned her. She’s not like all the rest.”
“No, she’s not.” Blaise had never said this to Charlie or anyone, but he knew with every fiber of his being it was the truth. “For me, the search is over. She’s the one.”
“Ah, that’s great.” His eyes shone bright behind his silver-framed glasses. “Really, I couldn’t be happier for you.”
“Don’t start congratulating me just yet.” Blaise felt doubt and apprehension creep back in. “I know she’s the one for me, but she might need a bit more convincing.”
Charlie laughed. “It took me two full years to convince my June that I wasn’t gonna break her heart. We’ll be married forty-eight years this spring, and I can tell you, chasin’ after her the way I did was the smartest decision I ever made.”
“You know me, Charlie. I don’t quit.”
“I know that, boy.” He leaned forward, lacing his hands on his desk. “You said something about going to see your parents. How are they? I don’t see them around much.”
Blaise rolled his eyes. “Must be because you don’t go to the casino. As far as I know, they’re the same. I don’t think anything will ever change with them.”
“I know you didn’t ask for my opinion, but I’m old, so I’m going to give it to you anyways.” He leveled Blaise with the kind of look that used to make him squirm. “Go see them with that attitude, and you’ll only make matters worse. Show a little compassion. Try to see things from their side.”
“What are you talking about?” Charlie knew his parents, especially his father, had been a big part of Blaise’s anger and hostility.
“I know you have a big heart. Just try to show them a little kindness.”
“Kindness?” Blaise didn’t know why that tasted so acerbic. Maybe because his father hadn’t shown him any love or understanding. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“You’re a strong man, and I don’t just mean physically. I’m talking mentally. You have a strong will, an unbreakable spirit, something your father never had.”
“How many times did you tell me that you sleep in the bed you make, Charlie?”
“That’s true, but sometimes you sleep in the bed your parents built.”
“What?” Blaise asked, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer.
“Shortly after you and your brother came to the program, I asked to meet with your father. I wanted to tell him that I thought you had real potential as a boxer and wanted to work with you, introduce you to some people I knew who might be able to help with your career.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Blaise was surprised his father had cared enough to come to the center. As far as he knew, he’d never attended a single parent-teacher meeting.
“You were just a kid,” Charlie said. “You had enough going on. Later, I guess I didn’t mention it because you were so focused on your career. I didn’t think you were ready to deal with your issues with your parents. It might have taken your attention from where it belonged when you stepped into the ring.”
“And you’re telling me now because…?”
“You’re obviously going to see them for a reason. I have to assume you’re looking for something. Answers, closure, I don’t know. It’s your business. I just want you to have all the facts before you see them.”
Blaise said, “I don’t see how you could have any insight after just one meeting—”
“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger, especially someone you can relate to.”
Blaise sneered, cursing softly under his breath. “You and my old man are just about as different as two men can be. If he made you believe y’all have anything in common, he was lying.”
“You may not know as much about either of us as you think.” Charlie leaned back, folding his arms over his chest as he stared at Blaise. “We grew up in a different time, son. The belt, the back of the hand, even a closed fist, they were all accepted forms of punishment.”
“Charlie, you don’t have to talk about this,” Blaise said, feeling uncomfortable. “I know—”
Holding up his hand, Charlie said, “Your father thought he was doing right by you because he never put his hands on you. He thought he was a better father than his old man had been.”
Blaise knew very little about his paternal grandparents, who had died before he was born. His father never talked about them, and now he understood the reason.
“He didn’t know that sometimes words hurt even more than fists.” Charlie sighed. “I tried to tell him that you were a good kid just looking for his love and approval, but you can’t change a man in a day. I think it’s not that your father didn’t want to change, but he didn’t know how.”
Blaise knew firsthand how difficult changing could be, even with support and resources. “Maybe he still wants to change?” He hoped so. He didn’t want his father to go to his grave with so much bitterness and resentment between them.
“Could be. Only one way to find out.”