I saw Pierce, squeezing himself against the back wall, staying well out of Ferdinand's way. I saw Ferdinand, menacing and dark, easing himself into the room. I saw Belvedere, looking between the two, utterly confused.
“Ferdinand! What are you doing here?”
“You're coming with me,” he said.
“What did you do to Pierce? He's a friend!”
Ferdinand, clearly a man of few words, pointed to the exit, “Go. Now!”
I tried to intervene, keeping a safe distance of course, “Hey, we'll all come along. Belvedere just needs to grab a few things, alright?”
Turns out the distance wasn't safe enough. He whipped his mitt and clocked me on the noggin, sending me sprawling back against Pierce. Clearly someone had gotten the wrong information and he thought we were Belvedere's kidnappers.
I looked up to see Ferdinand pushing himself back out the door. Belvedere was already gone.
“It's alright,” I called after. “You go on with Ferdinand, Belvedere, I'll take care of Pierce.”
I helped him up. He was in bad shape, dazed and barely conscious. No wonder, going up against that brute. A true friend, he would have suffered blow after blow while he denied Belvedere's position.
Together we swam back up to the vent. Going with the flow was a whole lot easier than going against it and pretty soon we popped back up in the familiar corridors.
“Which way? Hey, Pierce?” I said, slapping him lightly. “Which way?”
He looked around, squinting through his puffed up eyes. He waved a mitt to a corridor and I followed that out.
“Just leave me here, friend,” he said. “Take that up and then to the right when you see the purple crystals. You'll see a split. Take the left and keep going until you get to where you came in.”
“What about you?”
“I'll be OK. Who was that guy, anyway?”
“That's Ferdinand, Belvedere's captain of the Medici guards.”
Pierce rubbed his noggin, “Doesn't make sense why... You go. Go on.”
I left him there and followed the route all the way back to the main room. D'Arouge was there, collapsed in a corner. I rushed over to him, trying to shake him awake. He was badly mangled and his mantle was crushed.
“Leave him,” called someone behind me. “If he lives, it won't be because you shook him around like a dumper.”
“Dewey? Dewey! How did you get here? What gives?”
“Thanks, Tedrick, you did a bang-up job.”
I could see Ferdinand out the window, bundling Belvedere across the plateau.
“Hey? Hello? I'm congratulating you!”
“This whole thing stinks. Something's up and I'm going to find out what.”
“Nothing's up, Ted! You've done all you needed to do. Ferdy can take it from here. Congrats!”
“Ferdy, huh? No, I'm going to go have a chat and find out what's what!” I said, swooshing Dewey out of the way.
Guess what? Dewey stopped me from leaving. Can you believe that? He clings at me with his tentacles and puts himself between me and the door.
Now I can tell you that at this point, I was utterly confused.
“Dewey, tell me what's going on!”
“You found him! You cracked the case! I knew you had it in you. Didn't I say you could do it? I did, in case you forgot.”
“Let me pass. I've still got questions that need answering,” I said. “Hey, can you move your mantel out of the way? You're wasting time!”
“Ah, let them go. They've got some business to attend to. Private stuff, you know? Anyway, what about you, eh? You should be celebrating.”
“Celebrating? After what he did to Pierce and D'Arouge?” I cried. “How did he even know I was here unless... you?”
I stopped trying to get past him and stared blankly. A piece of the puzzle clicked into place.
He said, eyeing me, “Yeah, it's me, Dewey, your buddy. Hey, snap out of it, Ted. You're getting me worried.”
I asked slowly and carefully, “What, exactly, are you doing here?”
He grinned, “Helping you out, Tedrick! Aw, don't look so angry, brother, don't be like that. It's all good. See, when you told me you was heading to the countryside, I put two and two together and got four! I went and told Coraline and Coraline sent along her personal guard. Ain't he a tank? I saved you having to haul him back. Come on, buy me a drink.”
“There are many countrysides, Dewey. And there are many places in the countryside. How did you know about D'Arouge and Pierce?”
He shrugged, “Alright, I talked to Coraline and she said that she knew someone who Belvedere used to hang around with out here. What's with the third degree? What, don't you trust me, buddy?”
“Don't take this the wrong way, Dewey, but no. I don't trust anyone right now,” I said, pushing him aside. “I've gotta go after those two and get my gear straight. Hey!”
Dewey grabbed D'Arouge's stinger-barb from off the floor and held it up at me.
“Dewey!”
“Ya didn't listen, did ya, Tedrick? Ya could've had the clams and been back in business like the old days but that wasn't enough, was it?” he sneered. “That's OK. Coraline will pay me your share, since you won't be needing it and I'll retire on her payroll. I got it all worked out.”
“Why you dirty, sneaky, low-down, back-stabbin', worm-suckin', buff-chewin', good-for-nothin' eel-in-the-sand!” I cried. “I thought we were friends, Dewey!”
“What's a friend but a means to an end? Hey, you would've done the same.”
“No,” I said. “I wouldn't have.”
“Eh, maybe, maybe not. Doesn't matter now, does it? Mind if I have your rock now that you're done with it?”
I tensed myself, ready for a fight. It was a fight that never came. He raised his barb, let out a yell and collapsed to the floor. Pierce followed up a crushing blow by applying his club to his mantle once more.
“Pierce!” I cried. “Go easy on...”
“Hold up, pal,” he said, destroying his mantel-bone good and proper.
“He – he was my friend.”
Pierce, panting and still in significant pain, looked up at me, “This guy was never your friend.”
As much as I wanted to kid myself, he was spot on. Just a shame I couldn't see that earlier.
“D'Arouge...” I said, pointing to his form in the corner.
Lost for words, he swam to his friend. One look at his face and I knew what the assessment was.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “I'm so sorry.”
“Don't waste time being sorry! Go on,” Pierce gasped before his emotions could stop him. “Get out and go after! Make this right!”
So there I was, Tedrick Gritswell, detective and ex-sand-sifter, now burdened with avenging yet another soul. Maybe I had missed my calling in life? Nah. More likely I'm just a stupid spud who keeps winding up in the wrong spot at the right time.
Dewey had stalled me a good bit and by the time I reached the end of the plateau all I could see of Ferdinand and Belvedere were a couple of dark shapes swimming down below, snaking their way between the colourful fields.
They were going at a steady pace, like they were making up for lost time. Belvedere didn't strike me as the kind of guy to go anywhere in a hurry so the motivation must have been coming from old Ferdy.
The problem was that they were getting off so fast that I'd lose them if I went down the vent and wiggled through the roads. If I was going to catch them, I'd have to swim out in a direct line and that meant open water, risky anywhere on the Reef.
You get told, from early on in school, that you don't go in open water. You just don't.
Sharks, you see. They can't get at you while you're in the rocks, among the seaweed and anemones. You go traipsing around in the open water, though, and you're asking for trouble. Hammers can move real quiet and barracuda are like lightning.
I've only personally seen it happen once, where some silly spud drank too much darkwater and thought he could make it across a breach. It was messy. It was fast.
I wasn't drunk, so I had that going for me. Thing is, not being drunk was working against me because my brain was recoiling at the mere thought. If my brain were a clownfish it would be huddling inside its anemone, refusing to come out. I tried to convince it that I didn't really have a choice, that in another moment, those two would round the ridge and I'd lose sight of them altogether.
My brain shivered and refused to listen.
Fine. If it was going to be like that, I wasn't going to listen to it either. I put my cowardice to one side, making a quick promise to pick it up later if I made it across alive, and I jetted off the top, keeping one eye on my surroundings, looking for anything big and dark.
Squirting as hard as I could, I put my all into swimming, thinking about nothing but getting down to the path, down to the safety of the outcrops and ledges. I drew into my mantel and pushed and drew and pushed!
You know how when you're doing something stupid the whole world seems to slow down? It was like that. All up it wouldn't have been more than a minute, but let me tell you, it was the longest, scariest, most nerve-wracking minute of my life to that point.
Every second I was expecting to get knocked to one side and feel shark teeth ripping into me, pulling me to bits, spreading my entrails through the water, inviting other sharks to come along to snatch – I'm sorry, you don't want to be thinking about that. But, hey, if you can imagine it, that's what I was thinking about the whole way down.
I know there are some crazy nutters who do open-water swimming as a thrill-seeking escapade. Not me. I'll not be doing that again in any hurry.
I got down safely enough. I tell you what, I've never been so happy to scratch my suckers against the Reef, feel the grit in my mitts again. I could've kissed the rocks!
I took a moment to recover my wits and when I looked up, Ferdinand and his payload were gone. Blast it! I raced on down the path like a barracuda was after me.
Rounding the ridge, I practically bumped into Ferdinand's bulb. I scrambled back and hid behind a shrub.
He didn't notice me, thank goodness, since his attention was preoccupied with Burris. Suspicious at two strange fellas wandering about near his pipi patch, he was giving him a solid grilling.
Ferdinand, in turn, was giving him dirty looks and monosyllabic answers in response. Belvedere, I'm afraid, was not adding much to the situation.
“I watched you coming in. Now y'all are leaving in a hurry?” Burris asked. “Where are y'all goin'?”
“Move, guy,” Ferdinand said. “Let us through.”
“Not until you tell me where y'all goin'.”
“Away from here,” Ferdinand replied. “That's all. Now move.”
Thing about telling a big guy what to do is that the more you say it, the more they won't want to do it. In fact, they'll do the exact opposite.
“I'll move,” he said, “when y'all some respect.”
“Respect? You wouldn't know the meaning.”
Burris swelled out his bulb, “You looking for trouble big fella?”
“If you want trouble, I'll give it to you. Now move.”
“That's no way to talk. Y'all are strangers and I don't trust what I don't know.”
“I don't care about your trust issues, pal.”
“My name's Burris, not Pal. This here is my patch.”
“I couldn't care less about your patch.”
“You should. Cos my patch is off-limits to scum.”
“I don't have time for this! Move. Now.”
Burris rubbed his mitts together, flexing his arms up and down, showing his full size and making one heck of a display. Ferdinand rolled his eyes. He pushed Belvedere to one side and told him in no uncertain terms to stay put.
“Right,” Belvedere squeaked.
“And don't get in the way,” he said, turning back to Burris. “This is your last chance. I didn't come here to fight but if I have to, I will kill you.”
Burris laughed heartily. I'm sure he was used to fighting off raiders and scavengers, untrained ruffians looking for a quick win. How he would go against Ferdinand was another matter entirely. He wasn't as big as Burris, that was true, but he was still a big spud and he had that cool-as-a-cucumber attitude that only came with someone who had no illusions about his abilities.
“You talk tough,” Burris said.
“Enough talk. I have a job to do.”
I've been to a couple of wrestling matches in my time. You know, the ones where the amateurs are grappling and clobbering each other. Or the charity matches where they pose and posture and throw each other about but no one really gets hurt.
This left those far behind. Each gave and received a couple of blows to see what the other guy was about, suss out their opponent, you know. After that, it was on.
Each slap would've clocked your everyday spud out. Each throw made the Reef rumble. Burris made a couple of remarks designed to get Ferdinand off his game. Ferdinand's solid wall of silence, broken only by the occasional grunting, frustrated and confused him.
“What kind of thief are you?” Burris panted as he ducked a swipe.
“I'm no thief,” Ferdinand said, “and my business is my own.”
That was the last that I heard of them. By that stage I had grabbed Belvedere and pulled him away around the next ridge, leaving the pair to battle it out. We disappeared down along the edge of a lettuce-patch, clinging to the underside of it as we sidled along.
The going was tough, being upside-down and all. Well, the going was fine for me but not Belvedere. He wasn't at all used to these kinds of shenanigans and he let me know.
“I'm not sure if I can hold on!”
“Just keep your mitts on those knots and you'll be fine.”
“We can't stay here! We're exposed to the open-water!”
“You think I don't know that? Hey, stick close to the ledge. We're hidden from the topside and that's the main thing. Unless Ferdinand thinks to shove his noggin down here, we're safe,” I said, “so keep crawling.”
“Where to?” he wailed.
“Keep your voice down! Head over there! You see that bush-kelp?”
We inched along, him stifling his whines, me wanting very much to help him stifle those whines. When we got there, we flipped down and took a quick break.
“Time to come clean,” I panted. “You owe me that much.”
“I already have!”
“I'm talking Ferdinand! Why is he doing this? He beat up Pierce and killed D'Arouge.”
“Killed? D'Arouge...”
“Is dead, Belvedere! Crushed! And he's throwing you around like you're his prisoner or something!”
He held up his mitts, “I have absolutely no idea! I've never seen him like this. I mean, he comes from Soleil, you know, and they're all about efficiency and duty.”
“Do you really think he's just doing his job in the most efficient manner possible?” I asked. “You've got rocks in your bulb.”
“Hey!”
I was well and truly angry by this stage. I was just about to pick him up and roughhouse him myself.
“Enough of this brownbuff. Come on, we need to get back to the main. There you can do some serious explaining to the authorities.”
“The Law?” he said, pulling his mitts away. “Why get them involved?”
“Are you kidding? Everyone wants a piece of you, even those who are supposed to be protecting you. I don't know the full picture, but I do know that unless you're guarded by a dozen armed spuds, you're not safe.”
“I was safe enough in the vent until you came along.”
“Give me strength! That ship has sailed, bub. Get a grip on the situation. You're in over your bulge.”
He looked out over the edge, “I could just drop myself down there. End it all...”
“Don't you dare! Don't you blanking well dare!”
He wouldn't. I knew he wouldn't but, well, I was so mad at him that I wanted to throw him in. Alright, so I couldn't throw him into the Abyss but I could shake some sense into him.
“You can't swim away from this. You've hurt too many people already.”
“Lay off! Get your paws off me! Who are you to judge? Who made you the Great Spud?”
“Damn it, man, Wyra is dead and now D'Arouge! Pierce stood by you and you let him down! Your family empire is crumbling into the sand!” I cried. “Stop snivelling and face the facts. There's only one spud in this world who can make it right.”
“Who?” he snorted. “You?”
“You!”
“Me? What can I do?”
“You can start by coming clean. If you fess up to the darkwater then Tommy has no hold over you. It's only because of your secret deal that he has any power. You break the secret, he loses his power.”
“I'll lose my credibility.”
“Pal, you've already lost all credibility! Right now your name ain't Belvedere Medici, Lord of the Plains. It's Mud. Now stop bickering and get moving. The sooner we're back, the sooner you're safe and the sooner we can figure out how to clean up this mess.”
We left the safety of the bushes but not without some souvenirs. I showed Belvedere how to hang on to the plants and position them just right. He was moaning about it, of course, saying that a guy of breeding shouldn't go around like a piece of driftweed, but he soon got the hang of shutting up.
By the time we hit the road leading back to the main, the sea was glowing red. Normally that'd mean a calm night. Ha! That wasn't going to happen.
I had the hottest piece of property on the Reef with me, disguised as a clump of grass. It was getting dark. We were heading back into the most populated town and we had some of the most well connected – not to mention sore – honchos looking after me. You do the math.
Somewhere close to the Tannigan's Overpass, the one where all the lovers get mushy with each other and dedicate their undying love and tie bracelets to the divots and all of that, somewhere around there I got a sharp tap on the noggin.
From there on it's a bit of a blur.
I remember iridescent starfish, yes, plenty of those, and brightly glowing worms darting past my eyes, some dancing urchins and there was even a clam chorus-line singing about five ways to make a maiden laugh.
It was all very pleasant until I came to. When I did, the first thing I recall was just how much pain I was in. You know when you have a hard night on the darkwater and you wake up feeling like someone sandwiched your head in a giant clam and tickled his tummy? Well, imagine that, but replace the clam with a shark and a tickle with a jab you'd be getting close.
What happened? Well, that was obvious. I had been clobbered. With that out of the way, more useful questions started to bubble up.
Where was I? It didn't help that it was dark. I could make out shapes and things, but everything was obscure, like I was in the middle of a sandflurry. I was thinking about questioning who had done the deed, but I figured that if I worked on the first question, that would be evident.
I groped around in the murk for a bit, getting a sense of where I was.
The roof was close. Very close, in fact. The floor was slimy. My suckers picked up a strong sense of decay and disorder. Quite possibly, then, I was in a waste chute, but that didn't seem to fit.
Waste chutes go down, to funnel away the buff into the Abyss and gone. I was, as far as I could tell, horizontal.
It was quiet save for some regular crashing coming through the rock. Not too deep, then, that I couldn't hear the waves, but certainly not at a civilised altitude.
I braved breaking the silence, “Hey?”
There was no response. I kind of hoped I wouldn't get one, while at the same time, a little companionship, even from whoever it was that clocked me, wouldn't have gone unappreciated.
“Hey? Hello?”
This time there was a stir and a bit of commotion behind me. I pulled myself quickly away and felt a body stumble past.
“Who're you?” I asked, squinting in the darkness.
“Who are you?” came the reply.
“Belvedere? Hey, hey, relax. It's me, Tedrick. Relax!”
He came at me, then, scrabbling at me with his mitts. With the roof so closed in we were in no position to fight. He ended up collapsing in a heap in front of me, sobbing lightly.
“You idiot!” he moaned. “I was safe back there! Now look at me!”
“Hey, this idiot saved your bacon. If I'd left you with Ferdinand... never mind. In fact, shut up. You're bugging me. I gotta think about where we are and what to do about it.”
“You've done enough thinking, thank you very much.”
“I thought I told you to shut up.”
“You don't tell me what to do. I'm Belvedere Medici!”
“You're pathetic is what you are!”
“Shut up!”
“You shut up!”
“How about you both shut up!” mocked a voice.
Pods of glowing algae were lowered through holes in the roof and we got to see, for the first time, our torment. It was a prison of sorts. Maybe dungeon is the proper word. The roof was drilled with a multitude of peep-holes, not nearly big enough to squeeze through, but certainly big enough to see through, poke things through. We were at the mercy of those above us.
I scuttled back as figures loomed over us. In the green light the features of the largest became clear.
“Uh. Great. Hiya, Sassam,” I said. “How's tricks?”
His fat face filled a peep-hole. He turned his head this way and that, alternating his eyes.
“I'm good, Tedrick, I'm real good. You know why?”
“You finally broke the pipi-eating record?”
Next thing I knew I was getting smacked and jabbed with a rod he thrust through the holes.
“What, no laughing? Why aren't you laughing, wise-guy?”
He smacked me around some more.
“Go on, give me a laugh! I wanna hear a cackle!”
“I ain't laughing.”
“The hell you ain't! Laugh, damn you!”
He scored me a good one on my bulb, smarted real sore and I cried out, turning it into what might pass for a laugh. Pathetic, I know, but you weren't there and you weren't copping that beating so keep it to yourself.
Thing is, with a guy like him, when he knew he had you beat, he wouldn't stop until you admitted it, too. Real sadistic son of a squid.
“There, see? That wasn't so hard? How about you, Belvedere? Give me a jolly laugh or I'll stick you with my sticker.”
He gave him a couple of solid jabs, unnecessary since Belvedere was already laughing like a maniac, but like I said, he's that kind of guy.
He had come in to gloat, easy enough to guess that, so if we were going to get anywhere I had to get some power back.
“This your place, Sassam? Could do with a spruce up.”
“Yeah, this is my place. This is your place, too, you know that? It's yours for as long as you want.”
“Thanks all the same, we'll pass. Perhaps if you had somewhere with a little more room, maybe a balcony, room service.”
He stabbed me again. That one cut me deep. I've still got the scar.
“Shut your beak, wise-guy! You've caused me enough trouble with your meddling. And you!” he said, turning to Belvedere, cowering as far as he could in a nook. “You swam away like a minnow at the worst possible moment.”
“Why?” I coughed.
I was still reeling from that last blow. It was a doozy, let me tell you. My brain was fogged with the pain. Still, I needed to keep a handle on the conversation.
“None of your business,” Sassam said.
“Actually it is. Look, I'm a spud trying to make a living and I've nearly died too many times to warrant actually dying without knowing what's what.”
Sassam squinted, “What?”
“Just do me a solid before you run me through. Why do you want him? What's he got that's so special?”
Sassam grinned one of his thick, sickening grins.
“Legitimacy,” he announced proudly. “He is the signatory for the Medici, the main heir to the Medici fortune.”
“What about Coraline?” I asked.
“Her? Oh, yes. She takes over in the unfortunate case of Belvedere's demise but, and here's the rub, the lawyers need proof of his death or the mandatory forty tides of his disappearance to make it stick,” he said, chewing on a keelstick. “And I'm not keen on waiting one more bloody tide for what is mine.”
I pressed, “And what's yours?”
“You should know it very well, my good Tedrick. After all, you've been servicing them for tides over and over. The plains, Tedrick, those plains are mine!”
I looked over at Belvedere. He was still whimpering in the corner, chewing on a slimy pipi shell, no doubt praying that this was all a bad dream. No help from that quarter.
I pointed a mitt at him, “Well, considering the state of the owner of those plains, perhaps you're the best person to take them over. He couldn't lead it back to a profit, anyhow.”
Sassam roared with laughter at that. Guess I'm just a funny guy.
“That's classic! You know what? There might be something resembling a brain in that noggin of yours. I am the best person to take over. I can guarantee you that within ten tides I'll have it back to full operational capacity,” he said, feverishly chewing his stick. “You know why? Because I've been using my trained eels to snap up the silvers before they get to the plains, that's why! You are fools, Belvedere, you and that Coraline, both fools! Ha ha ha!”
Laughter is infectious, like yawning or bulb rubbing. Thing is, Belvedere wasn't laughing. In fact, for the first time ever, I saw his face darken. Something had gotten through. A little late, but that's what happened.
“What?” he snarled. “What? You're the one killing off the silvers?”
“My eels, bub, my eels. One wave of my hand and they'll stop. Lo, the plains will thrive under new management.”
“You wouldn't know the first thing about the plains. We've kept them in check since my grandpappy's grandpappy built the Reef barrier!”
“You haven't done anything except live off the milk of your ancestors! The evidence is clear. Instead of figuring out where the silvers were going you cut a deal with a slimy Sepiant bootlegging illegal darkwater,” he laughed. “Some prodigy you are. You squandered everything your grandpappy built up. Heck, you can't even stop your whores from ratting you out!”
A heretofore absent fire had crept into Belvedere's arms and he curled and shook them, “The Abyss take you! When I get out of here...”
Sassam's demeanour went from jovial to evil, “You aren't ever getting out. Well, you are, but when you do – ha. Ha ha ha!”
I said, “He laughs a lot, doesn't he Belvedere?”
“How can you joke at a time like this?” he cried, barely audible over Sassam's laughter. “We're going to die!”
“Hey, keep it cool. We ain't licked. Not yet. Keep your bulb round, Belvedere. While we're breathing and got all our mitts, we've got a chance.”
Sassam jabbed his stick around in the holes one last time, making us dance about. Then he inked on us and swam out, working himself up into a lather.
We coughed, spitting out Sassam's ink. He knew how to degrade someone, how to demoralise them to the point where they devalued themselves. Who knew how long we were going to be stuck in that dungeon? Long enough to convince Belvedere to sign over whatever Sassam wanted.
I said as much to Belvedere. He trembled, vomited and inked himself, adding to the muck. Gone was that fire. We were stuck, trapped in a dark cage, swimming in ink and puke. There was nothing left to do but think.
“Still,” I said, “it's prolly not as bad as all that. At least we know who's up to what and why.”
Belvedere was busy retching, so I kept talking.
“See, the way I figure it, he can't actually go out in public, shove his arm up your siphon and make you dance like a puppet. As soon as you hit the main, you'd be straight to the authorities.”
“Yeah,” Belvedere gasped, between heaves.
“Don't talk, I can see you're busy. Just listen. Anyway, that means he has to have a way to keep his pincers around you. Like, something you hold dear. Or maybe just physical pain. Torture, perhaps,” I mused, oblivious of the effect of my words on the diminishing state of my companion.
Sometimes I can be a real idiot. I mean, I was only talking out loud. No harm intended.
“Only he doesn't seem like the calm and patient kind of guy. So torture is off the cards. At least as a means to a quick end,” I said, rubbing that jab. “I think he'll still slap us around some. Me more than you.”
“Why?”
“Huh?”
“Why you more than me?” Belvedere asked. “It's me that he wants.”
“Yeah, true, but he can't afford to hurt you. Not too badly, anyway. He'll want to make an example of me in front of you, you know, psych you out a bit, make you compliant.”
“Oh. That makes sense,” he admitted.
“Or...”
“Or what?”
“He didn't say anything about coercing you. He said he needed proof of your demise,” I said.
“Or he has to hide me for forty tides.”
“Too long. No, I think he's going to go for the fast option. That's where I'd put my money.”
“Are – are you sure?”
In fact, I hadn't been that sure about anything before. In a moment of clarity, I could see it all. That's the honest, mitts on hearts truth.
“Yep. Sure as eggs are eggs. I think he's going to beat me up in front of you. You'll resist. Then he'll kill me, chop me up and show you what a dismembered body looks and smells like,” I said. “Then, when you refuse to cooperate, he'll lose his patience, cut you up and take your arm, with that distinct tattoo there, as proof of your demise to the lawyers. Then he'll work on Coraline.”
That set off a fresh set of whimpering and vomiting. Thank goodness he was out of ink.
I mused on a little longer, in silence, working around the edges of my prison in case there was anything that might give. Of course, there wasn't, but I'd be a fool if I didn't check.
“Hey, Tedrick?” Belvedere called.
He had stopped his heaving. There's only so much inside a guy's stomach, anyway.
“What's up?”
“Coraline isn't safe, is she?”
“No.”
“I did this to her, didn't I?”
“Yeah. You did. But you were blinded. Sassam played you, man. He played you both. His eels, you see, they're trained. He would've gotten them to gobble up the silvers when they went outside the barrier, enough each time to thin out their numbers, putting pressure on you to do something rash,” I said. “And you did.”
“You must think I'm a fool.”
I shook my head at that one. No, I've seen fools, and he's not one of them. Insecure, lazy, pig-headed, but he wasn't a fool.
“You're just a guy who did what he thought was right to save the family fortune, that's all. If you hadn't sided with Tommy, Sassam would've been the one sniffing around to make an offer,” I said. “You're surrounded by enemies. You got complacent.”
“Ferdinand,” he muttered. “I trusted him completely. He was in on it all along, wasn't he? He's in cahoots with Sassam! He was going to have me drugged and kidnapped!”
“Seems that way, Belvedere. Sure seems that way.”
We sat in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. If anything good came out of that, it was that Belvedere was finally swimming in the clear waters of reality. Best place for a spud to be in a crisis.
He said, “So, these eels. Are they really real?”
“Huh? Oh. Them. Yeah, while searching for you I stumbled across Sassam's grand plan. Or part of it. I don't know. I'm still piecing that together. He's figured out how to train them.”
“Can you really train eels?”
“You bet. I faced them myself. He's got a guy who whistles and clicks and makes the eels dance. Thing is, I don't think he was using them just to put pressure on the plains. I mean, why stop there?” I said, turning to him. “Tell me, if you were an overweight, overbearing psychopathic criminal, what would you do with a team of trained eels?”
Belvedere scratched his noggin, “I'd take on anyone in the Reef. Who could stand up to an army of eels? Only, they wouldn't be much use among the rocks unless...”
“Unless they were in open water!” I finished for him. “That's it! He needs you to sign over the plains so his army of eels have room to move.”
“It's a battleground,” he added. “Anyone he lures out there wouldn't stand a chance. No place to hide. Nowhere to run. Tommy. Jackson. The Harrows. He could take them out piecemeal. Out of view from the Reef, out of reach from the Law...”
“Until he deems that it's time to take on the Law, of course. Those he can't buy off.”
“And in the end, once all the opposition has been crushed, there'll be one spud left laughing: Sassam, Supreme Overweight Lord of Everything.”
Well how about that. We figured it out. Down in the muck of Sassam's dungeon, with who knew how long before he came back to torture or kill us, we figured the damn thing out. Fate's like that. Gets its sense of humour from the Great Spud, it does.
Having nothing left to think about, I tucked myself into a corner and tried to make the best of a bad situation. To be honest, I should have been panicking or formulating a plan but, instead, I was too bushed to be bothered. If I was going to be cut to pieces, at least I was going to be cut to pieces after a good sleep.