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A lean, greasy looking guy slunk out of the tavern. He was followed by one of the biggest men I have ever seen, a towering hulk with a thatch of wavy black hair and miles and miles of muscular, greenish-tinted skin. I watched as the big guy was followed by a herd of assorted humans.
I expected all hell to break loose then. But instead of kicking the asses of his hecklers, the big guy held up his hands in self-defense, his wide shoulders hunched, and his big, reddish-brown eyes apologetic. "I'm sorry," he said in a soft, deep voice. "Like I said, I'll take it off your tab. Let's just not make a fuss, okay? I need this job."
The men around him laughed. "What kind of monster are you? Big, dumb, clumsy ogre like you, trying to wait tables? Shouldn't you be out there bashing skulls together, raping bitches, and eating babies? Jesus, I knew they catered to mutts here, but this is just going too far!"
The big guy just looked sad. "Look, I really don't want any trouble."
I sighed when one of the humans darted forward and punched the guy right in the solar plexus. It was a good hit. The big guy grimaced sadly, but brushed it off like it was nothing but an annoyance, like a fly buzzing around him, rather than a bunch of assholes asking to have their skulls bashed in.
The redhead nudged me in the hip with his elbow. "Do something, Sabertooth."
I glared down at him. "Why the fuck would I do anything? I just want a beer. And that contract. Then, I want to go home and go to sleep."
The redhead just shook his head at me. We both knew this was going to get messy. I sighed. Stepping forward, I pushed one of the guys out of my way so I could get to the door. "Move," I said tiredly. "I need a drink."
Of course, the flock of idiots thought that meant I wanted to fight.
I expected some help from the big guy, but he backed away and plastered himself to the dirty brick wall while I knocked the rest of the idiots unconscious. I left them in a heap in the middle of the street. Maybe they'd get run over or pickpocketed, maybe they'd get dragged away by whatever police officer had this beat tonight. I really didn't give a fuck which option won out.
Standing, I made sure my knives were still in my boots. I straightened my leather jacket and brushed off a spot of blood. Then I turned to the big green idiot. "Why the hell didn't you fight back?"
Long black lashes framed those weirdly innocent red-brown eyes. He shook his head sadly, a muscle jumping in his square jaw as he clenched his teeth. "That's what they wanted. But I know better."
He was right. If he fought back, then they'd have an excuse for their violence. Ogres were bloodthirsty, mindless killing machines motivated by food, fucking, and sleeping. And with his obvious mixed blood, what passed for a police force around here wouldn't believe the hulking cur hadn't started it.
I waved him away and went to open the door to the bar. But my redheaded companion stepped up beside me, his head tilted back as he stared up at the big, green monstrosity. I doubt the guy was a full ogre. If that was the case all these other guys would be dead. Even though he was huge for a human, he'd be miniature for an ogre. He was definitely a cross.
The leprechaun at my side smiled, like he'd just won the lottery. "Ever considered becoming a hunter?"
I shook my head at the idiot as the green guy stared at him in shock. "A hunter?" The green guy glanced at me as if to make sure that my friend wasn't off his rocker. The hulk had a shy, hunched demeanor that was just weird coming off someone so massive.
I just shrugged. "Don't ask me," I said pulling the door open and stepping inside, "I just want a buzz and a fucking contract."
Somehow, I found myself sitting at a sticky wooden table with a wobbly leg, sipping watered-down beer while the handsome, smug as fuck redhead grinned at me from his place on the other side of the table. The big green guy was folded into a chair, his knees bent up almost to his chest. It was a miracle the poor, abused chair could hold him up, and I kept expecting it to send him crashing to the floor.
"You want me to help you hunt unicorns?" The big guy shook his head. "I don't think you understand. I'm not the big dumb ogre everyone wants me to be. Sure, I'm huge, but I don't know anything about fighting. And I'm clumsy. I'd probably trip over my own feet and shoot myself."
The redhead winked at the guy. "Sure, sure. But what are you good at? There must be something. I can feel it."
The big guy's greenish cheeks turned a faint pink color as he stared down into his mug of beer, which looked miniature gripped between his big ham hands.
"Well, I kind of.... I like technology. Computers? Com systems. Maps. And mechanical stuff. I'm trying to scrape enough money together to open my own business. Maybe do some tech work for the hunter guilds. But no one wants to hire a big, dumb monster like me."
I rolled my eyes back into my skull. "This is more of your luck magic isn't it?" I asked the stupid redhead who still sat across from me, grinning.
He just continued to smile. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," he said, taking a drink of his beer and grimacing at the poor quality. "I just wanted to talk about my contract. But now that you mention it...we probably could use a tech specialist in our new guild."
I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on my forearms. "I'm not joining your damned guild," I said in irritation. I worked alone. I certainly didn't work with a half-pint leprechaun with luck magic and an over-sized ogre cross who didn't even know how to fight. "You do understand that the unicorns are going to murder you. Just give me the contract, and I'll take care of it. Hell, at this point I'll even give you a cut of my payout, if you'll just fuck off and let me do my job."
The leprechaun tucked the papers back into his coat pocket and gave me a leering grin. "That's not how this is going to work, and you know it."
I must be losing my mind. This whole night made zero sense. But then, that's what you got when someone started fucking around with luck magic. It was unpredictable and slippery. And it tended to make a fucking mess of things.
Several hours later, I found myself stumbling back into my apartment with a slight buzz, and a really terrible feeling in my gut. There was no way this was going to end well, luck magic or no. I had told the leprechaun to fuck off. That I wasn't going to help him on his stupid quest. But I needed that fucking bounty. Maybe if I went with along with the redhead, the unicorns would eat the leprechaun and the ogre, then I could step in and collect the entire bounty for myself as the sole surviving guild member.
Except, then the government might suspect that I'd killed the leprechaun just to get the unicorn contract, since we were all just dirty curs. Damn it. I sighed as I peeled my clothes off, fumbling with my stupid sports bra and finally just leaving the cursed thing on as I climbed under my covers and tried to sleep.