Empowerment is the fruit of successful action. Doing and having power go together, since without the power to sustain your vision through difficulties and resistance, your vision will wither away. This isn’t ego empowerment, which is driven by the demands of “I, me, and mine”; you are empowering others at the same time as you empower yourself.
The belief that power isn’t compatible with spirituality is misguided. At your source, there is a field of infinite possibilities. Packaged with every possibility is the path to achievement. Your soul unfolds both at the same time. Your power is validated by what you can manifest as reality.
There is a dark side to power, however, known as the shadow. This is where anger, fear, envy, greed, and aggression create problems for leaders, warping their good intentions and tarnishing their ideals. You must be aware of your shadow, and then you can defuse it by integrating the dark into the light. When you transcend the need for good and bad, for light and dark to war against each other, the power of the soul will be completely yours. This is the power of wholeness.
Every leader needs power, yet nothing brings more problems. Doing without it isn’t an option. If you lack the power to reach your goals, your vision will remain inert. You have to be realistic about how power works before you can successfully empower yourself and then discover how to empower others, which is the greatest good a leader can do. The use of power is entangled with its misuse.
Seen through the lens of history, power follows certain principles, well illustrated by leaders ancient and modern.
• Power accumulates. The more a leader gets, the more will come to him.
• The powerful rise only to fall. The higher a leader climbs, the more inevitable is his downfall.
• Power corrupts. Leaders who start out to do good wind up doing evil.
• Power is exceptional. The ordinary person willingly or unwillingly surrenders his power to a handful of power-seekers and is left with none for himself.
These principles are acted out every day, and it doesn’t take the huge stage of history to see them at work. As early as the sandbox, children can be seen dividing into bullies and victims, givers and takers, strong and meek. Psychologists tell us that gender roles are determined in early childhood: boys learn how to wield power, and girls learn how to appeal to power by being attractive and compliant. But even making simple statements about young children leads to controversy. No one wants to be told that she is among the meek rather than the strong, or that being a girl destines her to playing a lesser role than being a boy. Power has always been troubling.
Leading from the soul means resolving these troublesome issues by taking a conscious approach to them. With expanded awareness, one sees that the patterns of power are neither fixed nor inevitable. Each of the four principles can be reversed and transformed into something much more humane.
Power accumulates: To reverse this principle, renounce personal power for transpersonal power. Transpersonal power can be found in everyone. It is based on empathy, compassion, detachment, and going beyond ego to find your deeper identity.
The powerful rise only to fall: To reverse this principle, ground yourself in being, which is steady and ever-present. Its energy powers the universe from the level of the quantum field, the invisible starting point of all things visible. Here every possibility is equal. When you can bring out the fullest potential in any situation, your power will be steady, without the risk of rising too high or taking a fall.
Power corrupts: To reverse this principle, learn from your shadow and turn its negative influence into something positive. There is a dark side to every leadership role; when you are unconscious of it, the dark side leads to personal corruption. Yet the energies of the shadow, such as anger, resentment, selfishness, greed, and envy, are woven into life as a whole. They represent the destructive aspect in Nature, without which creation cannot emerge. Once you make creative use of the shadow, which is its ultimate purpose, power will not corrupt you.
Power is exceptional: To reverse this principle, empower others by showing them that they are equal to you. In reality, power is universal. The same energy, creativity, and orderliness are present in an atom and a galaxy, a one-celled bacterium and the human brain. We are misled by appearances and miss the hidden, invisible level from which power comes. If you share this knowledge, you can empower others to activate the source of power in themselves. Then everyone is exceptional, not just the few.
When you have reversed all four principles, you are fully empowered. Empowerment is not a desirable end in itself, however. Although being powerless brings many problems, so does misusing power. You must forge a link between power and deeper values. We look around us and see a world where every kind of horror exists through tyranny, oppression, military force, and persecution of the weak. You can be a force to counter these troubles, but you have to be willing to confront power consciously, here and now.
The first principle we want to reverse is “power accumulates.” For many leaders this poses a terrible temptation, because they are motivated by the need to be in charge, to control, to make every decision. Their vision may be benign—all tyrants tell themselves that they are serving the greater good—but being good or bad isn’t really the issue. The issue is ego, which needs no excuse to gain more for itself. When “I, me, and mine” dominates, the leader identifies with position and status. Ego is insecure by nature, so it is impossible to be strong without making others weak. As the ego sees it, every contest has winners and losers, and if glory goes to the winner, shame comes to the loser.
Before ego can undermine you, ground yourself in transpersonal power. Transpersonal power isn’t ego-based. It exists equally in everyone. Transpersonal literally means “beyond the personal,” or “belonging to everyone.” By drawing on universal qualities, you as a leader become first among equals. You are made first by embodying more of what everyone desires. Instead of being a threat, your power inspires others. You are exercising transpersonal power when you bring to others the things most universally desired. When thousands of people were asked what they most wanted from a leader, four desires topped the list: trust, compassion, stability, and hope. When your power comes from supplying these things, it has shifted from personal to transpersonal.
Trust: People want to trust their leaders, to be secure in the knowledge that they will not be manipulated and misled. Trust is an invisible bond. It says, “I can’t see what you are doing. I can’t control or check up on you. But that doesn’t matter. My trust is enough.” People must trust that higher-ups are competent and can be counted on not to break their word.
By being open with everyone, keeping no secrets, describing situations realistically, and providing evidence that you are taking practical steps to meet any challenge, you show that as a leader you can be trusted with power. A leader who is not to be trusted does the opposite: she is obsessed with secrecy and closing down leaks. She reminds the group that she is to be feared. She tells the story that will keep her in power rather than the story that is true.
The tools for building trust are honesty, candor, and competence.
Compassion: Compassion makes people feel cared for. It draws out everyone’s common humanity and keeps a group from disintegrating. When difficulties arise, there is always a pull between “every man for himself” and “we have to stick together.” Empathy wars with selfishness. A leader can settle this conflict through compassion, a word that means “suffering with.” By showing that you feel everyone’s pain, you inspire the group to draw together. Each is motivated to feel for the person next to him. When you know what it feels like to walk in someone else’s shoes, there is no choice but respect.
Empathy isn’t only about pain. You feel the joy of another person’s life as well. Their successes are yours and vice versa. When you feel empathy, you close the gap that separates isolated individuals. Compassion may seem like a passive or “soft” attitude, but it translates into powerful loyalties. Mutual help is offered. Mutual gratitude is felt. Once people are grateful for the things they share, the boundary has been crossed from personal to transpersonal.
The tools for building compassion are empathy, respect, and gratitude.
Stability: The soul is peaceful, calm, and capable of adapting to any kind of change. These are transpersonal qualities, built into the deepest level of our being. As a leader, you must project these qualities in order to make others feel stable. Instability embodies uncertainty. It makes people feel that the ground beneath their feet is crumbling. Reason can easily give way to panic (which is why markets can topple a bank simply on the rumor of insufficient funds).
The most basic aspect of stability is survival. It begins with knowing that you are going to be paid for your work. (Gallup researchers have found that workers who believe in the financial stability of their company are nine times more likely to be engaged in their work.) But as a leader you are asked to provide a deeper sense of stability. When the circumstances get dicey, uncertainty becomes a powerful stress. Everyone feels very alone. To counter the isolation, a leader offers support. The promise “I’ll always be here for you” is carried out in actions. To counter uncertainty, he is always reliable. He won’t suddenly turn and look out only for himself. By his presence, such a leader has a calming influence; he serves as a haven in the storm, which allows people to find this same quality in themselves. Then leadership has crossed over from the personal to the transpersonal.
The tools for building stability are reliability, support, and peace.
Hope: Hope is intangible because it rests upon belief. Your role is to be believer-in-chief. You hold out hope for a better future than anyone else can see. Hopelessness is the most tragic turn that life can take, depriving people of a vision for their future. The suffering of today blights hope for tomorrow. But at the soul level the future is always open because unseen possibilities can always awaken. (When Gallup pollsters asked workers if their leaders made them feel encouraged about the future, 69 percent of those who said yes were also engaged in their work; only 1 percent of those who said no were engaged.)
As a leader you must keep the horizon full of promise. Promise provides power. Instinctively people realize this, and they cling to hope even when a crisis seems beyond repair. In the worst storms, hope is the flickering candle that a leader cannot allow to be extinguished.
To give another person hope, a leader’s inspirational words are only the beginning. When we lose hope, we become directionless. Therefore a leader must provide clear direction, a definite step-by-step plan. Eventually people can be allowed to provide their own direction, which in itself will be a sign of hope, but until then you must provide it. Work hands on to guide the group through all the recovery efforts that follow an immediate crisis. Also, respect the weakened position that people find themselves in. Guide them past shame and guilt. Providing guidance means holding out the values that need to be restored, such as self-confidence, competence, and worthiness. Through your showing that you see these values in others, they will begin to see them in themselves. When you show others a concrete way to move forward, you give them a reason to have faith. That’s proof that they have crossed over to the transpersonal, since faith is based on belief in a higher power, however you choose to define it.
The tools for building hope are direction, guidance, and faith.
The second principle that needs to be reversed is “the powerful rise only to fall.” The reasons for taking a fall are many. Power-hungry people make enemies who want to bring them down. They are insecure to begin with, and they engineer their own fall by dirty deeds and secretive manipulation. The ego is so insecure that it fails to see the mistakes it is making, intent as it is on building an oversized self-image that is bound to implode. But in terms of the soul, these are all secondary causes. In spiritual terms, to seek power is to lose it, because what you seek you already are. The great Bengali poet Rabindranath Tagore put this truth beautifully when he wrote, “Those who seek, knock at the gate. Those who love find it open.” Love is an aspect of being, and when you act from being, the power you draw on is limitless because it comes from the source. This kind of power is steady. It doesn’t rise or fall. Therefore if you depend upon it, you don’t have to climb to the top to achieve power.
Imagine three leaders who want to achieve the same thing: starting a company, building a bridge, or popularizing a new idea or invention. Leader A is a doer. He makes connections with people who can help him achieve his goal. He hires a good team; he knows how to get others as excited as he is about the project. His day is filled with appointments and decisions. At the hub of activity, he becomes the linchpin. All decisions come through him. In short order he makes himself indispensable. This kind of power can be very effective, but it is also the most insecure. For every success, there are many people who fail to achieve along this path. Someone stronger or more charismatic might beat them out. They may not be able to sustain the demands for energy and time that mount up, eventually swallowing up everything. Power based on doing can be taken from you, and even when it isn’t, every day brings a confrontation with uncertainty, since the world is full of risks.
Leader B is a thinker rather than a doer. He might be the power behind the throne, or the source of ideas who leaves the practical side of the project to others. In either role, his strength is that he can analyze. He weighs options, observes other people, and comes to conclusions rationally. He isn’t tossed around by the rough-and-tumble of everyday pressures. He is more distant but also more isolated. The danger for such a leader is that personal bonds can weaken. Loyal followers who admire his ideas tend to drift away when better ideas come along. Still, the leader who thinks is more secure than the doer, because his mind sustains him. He is grounded at a deeper level than personal loyalties, connections, and the daily grind of making things happen.
Leader C is grounded in being. He isn’t invested in either doing or thinking. Every day his existence is focused on keeping to the right path, wherever it leads. He is spared the constant demands for energy that the doer must keep up with; he is also spared the isolation of the thinker, who needs doers to bring his ideas into the real world. To others around him, the leader who is grounded in being often seems mysterious. They can’t quite figure out how he maintains his calm in a crisis and how he decides when to act, because sometimes he allows events to unfold while at other times he leaps into action. Such a leader makes for a successful visionary because he is selfless enough to permit his soul to guide him. He is immune to taking a fall because he has no desire to climb to the top. His sole purpose is to watch his vision unfold, therefore his path is one of expansion, not rising.
To become this kind of leader, your actions must be organized around the expansion of consciousness. In previous chapters we’ve covered how to connect to the level of being. Now you need to participate in the infusion of being into everyday life. Naturally, this new way challenges your old ways. As you negotiate your way, being will create the change you want. There is no need to fight against your past conditioning and familiar habits. Instead, a natural shift takes place. To encourage that shift, here’s a guide.
Before making a decision, ask inside for guidance. Be patient and await an answer.
Act only when you feel calm and certain.
Trust that there is a right path.
Trust that you are connected to your being, which knows what to do at all times.
When you meet with resistance, inside or out, don’t fight back. Do what it takes to resolve the resistance and turn it into acceptance. If resistance persists, distance yourself and give it time.
Be fully engaged, but at the same time cultivate detachment.
Know that you are greater than any result, good or bad.
Identify yourself with the bigger picture and not the minute details.
Believe that your awareness can expand without limitation. To say “I am the universe” isn’t egocentric—it’s the truth of our soul.
The third principle that needs to be reversed is “power corrupts.” If you believe that human nature is innately selfish and greedy, the corruption of power will seem inevitable. But perhaps the premise is wrong. If human nature isn’t fixed, it is open to choice. You can choose not to abandon your ideals and keep true to our vision. The trick is to escape either/or thinking, because it’s common to believe that either you are powerful or you are an idealist. The visionary doesn’t have to be separate from the realist. At the level of being, your vision is united with the way to achieve that vision. If you can keep them united, power will serve idealism instead of corrupting it.
As we’ve seen, the dark side of human nature is called the shadow, the hidden area of the psyche where anger, fear, greed, envy, and violence are kept out of sight. When any leader turns soulless, the shadow has triumphed. The simplest and most basic question, “Who am I, really?” has stopped being asked. The shadow causes enormous problems; it’s hard to think of a human misery that isn’t rooted there. Whatever you haven’t faced has power over you. You may set out to do nothing but good, but unless you become conscious of your shadow, the result will be denial. In a state of denial you will face all kinds of negative effects from the external world, but you will be ill equipped to defeat them. Negativity is defeated only when you can integrate it into the whole fabric of life. If you are caught up in separating good from evil, light from shadow, you may play the part of goodness, but somehow badness will always crop up to counter you. Leading from the soul means finding a way to fuse opposites so that you stand for life as a whole, not simply the bright side.
To begin with, be aware that every role you play as a leader has a specific shadow that matches it.
The protector’s shadow is the temptation to become a tyrant. Instead of removing fear and threat, he promotes it. He wants to be told how much “the little people” need him. His self-importance leads him to excuse how he abuses others. To keep himself in power, he exaggerates the threats that exist and even invents imaginary rivals and enemies. The end, when it comes, is ugly and often violent as he is toppled against his will.
To counter the shadow: Be aware of any sign in yourself of authoritarianism, self-importance, uncontrolled anger, the need for flattery, and paranoia about threats and rivals. These are the seeds of the tyrant.
The achiever’s shadow is addiction to winning, fueled by the never-ending desire for more. Underneath, she has an even stronger fear of losing. This fear clouds her judgment. She begins to indulge in excessive risk taking—she is so addicted to winning that the next high always needs to be greater than the last. All proportion is lost, and with it the connection to others. Success now means more than family and friends. While claiming that she is still in control of herself, the achiever who has turned into an addict eventually takes one risk too many. Then she brings herself down and others with her.
To counter the shadow: Be aware of any sign in yourself of turning encounters into win-lose situations, polishing your self-image, being ambitious at the cost of family and friends, and obsessing over competitors. These are the seeds of addiction to success.
The team builder’s shadow is conformity, fueled by the fear of not belonging. Constantly attuned to the reactions of others, he cannot bear to make enemies and feels wounded by criticism. The conformist comes to epitomize the “tall poppy syndrome,” punishing anyone who tries to stand out above the group. His need to placate everyone leads him to overlook footdraggers and time-servers. Instead of fostering cooperation, he fosters complacency. The end, when it comes, involves a smarter, more energized team-builder swallowing the conformist up.
To counter the shadow: Be aware of any sign in yourself of going along to get along, never making waves, acting against your conscience, and envying others for their special talents and abilities. These are the seeds of conformity.
The nurturer’s shadow is judgment, fueled by the fear of not being good enough. This fear gets projected outward, making others wrong in order to feel right. Instead of empathizing with how other people feel, someone acting from judgment tells them what they should be feeling. As real connections dissolve, the failed nurturer falls back on pretense, a show of warmth and bonding. Secret biases must be hidden. She can’t afford to let anyone know that she secretly judges them. The end, when it comes, arrives through the exposure of hypocrisy. The loving, fair, nonjudgmental nurturer has been leading a double life.
To counter the shadow: Be aware of any sign in yourself of hiding your prejudices instead of openly discussing them, showing favoritism, harboring secret motives, and pretending to be better than you are. These are the seeds of judgment.
The innovator’s shadow is solipsism, fueled by fear of risks. Instead of being open to new ideas, he promotes his past achievements. His reputation looms large in his own mind. He craves recognition—ideally, everyone should honor him as a master of his craft. Beneath this show of self-centeredness, risk has taken its toll. To hide from his inability to take chances, the failed innovator stops peering into the unknown. The end, when it comes, finds him outmoded and behind the curve.
To counter the shadow: Be aware of any sign in yourself of smugness, jealousy, cravings for attention, insecurity about your reputation, and a reluctance to invest yourself in unproven ideas. These are the seeds of solipsism.
The transformer’s shadow is despair, fueled by society’s stubborn resistance to change. In place of hope, which every transformer must show, depression begins to gnaw its way in. The failed transformer finds herself personally wounded by setbacks. She grows ever more disappointed by the moral weakness of others, but her greatest disappointment is reserved for herself. Her cherished ideals are being tarnished; she throws herself against the barricades over and over without success. The end, when it comes, arrives not at the hands of reactionaries but when the crusade runs out of steam.
To counter the shadow: Be aware of any sign in yourself of personal blame, guilt, cynicism, depression, and resignation that nothing will ever change. These are the seeds of despair.
The sage and seer don’t have a shadow. They have uncovered their dark side and released themselves from it. Yet ironically, their liberation can make others suspicious. It’s hard to believe that the sage isn’t hiding some foible and that the seer hasn’t got a blind spot. But criticism and even open attack don’t faze the sage and seer. They accept every aspect of the human condition. There is no end to the sage’s journey. He walks ahead, striving to turn suffering into joy. To him, the world’s suffering is a mask for eternal bliss.
Once you become aware of your shadow, the next step is to defuse it. What doesn’t work is to resist, fight, steel yourself, or go into denial. The shadow may feel like an enemy, but Nature brings about creation through destruction. The wholeness of life depends upon reconciling these two forces. In yourself, anger, fear, resentment, envy, and greed emerge as negative forces because they aren’t integrated. “Good me” and “bad me” are at war. Until you disengage from the war, you have no recourse except struggle. The seeds of anger and fear will grow, and because they are flourishing out of sight, in the dark, they become more distanced from the light. Increasing isolation causes natural expressions of the destructive force to become renegades, randomly causing harm wherever they can.
To take the shadow beyond war and strife, make it your goal to integrate “bad me” into “good me.” Your soul is beyond opposites. If you aim at the full integration of every aspect of yourself, you are doing exactly what your soul wants you to do.
Be aware of feelings like anger, anxiety, envy, grief, and selfishness.
Acknowledge that these feelings are part of you.
Forgive yourself for having a shadow.
Take responsibility for what you feel. Don’t project onto others, blame them, or take your negativity out on them.
Take a vow against any form of violence and aggression.
When you feel the emergence of a negative emotion, sit quietly and feel it in your body. Ask for the emotion to resolve itself, which means that you release it, taking whatever time is necessary.
Trust that all residues of fear, anger, grief, jealousy, and insecurity can be released. If you are able, seek help from a counselor, body worker, or other guide who is skilled in releasing old traumas and past wounds.
Resist the urge to push away or deny those feelings you judge against. If you force them to exist out of sight, they will only undermine you.
Don’t keep secrets. Find someone with whom you can share anything, and then proceed, as appropriate, to bring “bad me” out for discussion.
Work on the shadow one piece at a time. It is much easier to dismantle a strongly negative aspect of yourself, such as uncontrollable fear, free-floating anxiety, a hair-trigger temper, or deep-seated resentment, than it is to confront it head on. These uncontrolled tendencies are pieced together by old beliefs, childhood experiences, unrevealed secrets, hidden guilt and shame, judgment against the self, influences in your surroundings (such as stress, domestic strife, continuing abuse, and failure at work), and a superstitious attachment to concepts like absolute evil or the devil. By addressing each piece one at a time, even the most powerful shadow energy can be defused.
The last principle that we need to reverse is “power is exceptional.” There’s no doubt that it feels good to feel special, and leaders who attain power cannot help but feel exceptional. That’s not what needs reversing. Rather, we need to correct the ego’s belief that only “I” am exceptional. The source of power is universal. Everyone contains infinite potential, and once it is released, the universe will either support it or not. As a leader, it’s up to you to show the difference by guiding others onto a path that the universe will favor. You do this by the same means that you used on yourself, by connecting with the soul.
You cannot cajole, order, or force anyone else to reconnect with his soul, but you can inspire him to find his own motivation. We’ve already covered some of the most critical factors: acting as a role model, forming emotional bonds, building trust, compassion, stability, and hope. But until the people you lead are able to identify with what is best in themselves, they can’t take the first step on their own path. Duplicating your path isn’t a substitute. Ideally, you could have everyone in your group write out a mission statement based on her soul profile and personal vision. That is how we’ve been unfolding your own path. You can also take advantage of research, such as that performed by Gallup, which is used to identify each person’s strengths in detail. In the Gallup model there are thirty-four specific strengths. If a team contains as many different strengths as possible, it improves their chance of success.
Taking this advice to heart, you can begin to share power by learning what to look for as a strength. Don’t assume that people know their own strengths, but understand that until they discover them, they have no basis on which to build power. Look at each person you want to assess, and place him in three of the categories below. If you don’t know the person well, you could choose only two categories, but it would be better to make a guess at the third and modify your assessment as you learn more.
1. Hardworking. Has great stamina. Gets satisfaction from being busy and productive.
2. Very active. Is impatient to get beyond thinking into doing. Gets satisfaction by making a difference.
3. Good at getting people into the flow. Is now-oriented and highly adaptable. Gets satisfaction from showing others how to trust themselves and join in.
4. Analytical. Investigates every side of an issue. Is careful and trustworthy in his conclusions. Gets satisfaction from research.
5. Good at planning. Is good at arranging and organizing, but has a mind open to everyone’s demands. Is honest and expects honesty in return. Gets satisfaction by pulling many elements together.
6. Naturally communicative. Can easily put thoughts into words and shines when making a presentation. Gets satisfaction from showing others the positive side of the situation, and the positive in themselves.
7. Competitive. Measures herself by how she’s doing compared to others. Wants to be judged as the best. Gets satisfaction by winning, obviously, but also from measuring up to those she respects most.
8. Modestly reliable. Shows consistency in applying the rules but also abides by them. Good at treating others on an equal footing. Gets satisfaction from seeing that everyone gets the same respect.
9. Deliberate in making decisions. Is good at handling sensitive issues because he takes due weight of every factor. Foresees obstacles that lie ahead. Gets satisfaction from making sound judgments that reduce risk and takes the time to get safely from here to there.
10. Talented in developing human resources. Sees the potential in others and is patient about bringing it out step by step. Trusts that someone can do the job before others recognize that. Gets satisfaction from watching beginners start to blossom.
11. Self-disciplined. Thrives on routine and structure. Never slides or lets herself off the hook. Gets satisfaction from feeling responsible.
12. Empathetic. Is good in difficult situations where others must deal with conflicting emotions. Is sought out when someone needs to share. Gets satisfaction from making others feel understood.
13. Prioritizing. With a strong focus, keeps projects on track. Can be trusted to know what is important. Cuts through incidental details and avoids detours. Gets satisfaction from moving efficiently toward the ultimate goal.
14. Good at building consensus. Is averse to conflict and wants to reconcile differences. Works by listening and showing others the value of listening. Is valuable in any negotiation. Gets satisfaction when all sides come to an agreement that is mutually beneficial.
15. Full of ideas. Easily makes connections between disparate things. Thrives on absorbing as many perspectives as possible. Is never at a loss for a new concept. Gets satisfaction from the sheer fascination of ideas.
16. Expert. Specializes in a narrow field and knows everything about it. Brings authority and is respected by peers. Gets satisfaction from mastering a branch of knowledge and expertise.
17. Boosterish. Is constantly in pursuit of excellence and gets others to outperform themselves. Feels nothing is good enough until it is superb. Gets satisfaction by bringing any project to the highest level of quality.
18. Endlessly enthusiastic. Naturally upbeat and positive, she can make others share her enthusiasm without resentment or feeling coerced. Good at keeping up morale. Gets satisfaction from making others see the bright side and believing in it.
19. Loyal, devoted, friendly. Is easy to relate to and also work beside. Others have confidence that he will always look out for them. Is willing to invest time and energy in relationships. Gets satisfaction from the bonds of sincere friendship.
20. The fixer puts out fires and solves problems. She restores hope and stabilizes situations that are falling apart. Unfazed by problems and is open to meeting needs. Gets satisfaction from doing the impossible.
21. Charming and persuasive. Is able to woo others to her way of thinking. Welcomes meeting new people. Is unfazed by difficult people. Others naturally open up to her and share information, even when they first meet. Gets satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a personal connection.
Once you gain insight into someone else’s strengths, you can help him find his own path to empowerment. To begin with, tell him what you see and discuss his own sense of what he’s strong at. If you are in a position to assign tasks, use his strengths as a guide. Even if you aren’t assigning a task, keep in mind what everyone’s strengths are. This will enable you to seek the right input from each person.
If a single theme runs through empowerment, it’s the belief that all people have an equal right to power. Each of us is a complete person reflecting the wholeness of our soul. We may be hiding from our completeness, deliberately or not. Instead of relishing how multidimensional we are, most of us have become resigned to a narrow slice of life. Empowerment is about expanding expectations by revealing that all the negative assumptions about power don’t have to be true. Power isn’t something you grab; it’s the infinite energy, intelligence, and creativity of the soul that wants to express itself through you. When you understand that everyone is the expression of a soul, you as a leader find joy in helping each individual uncover that truth. The highest spiritual lesson about power that I’ve ever read comes from Tagore: “Power said to the world, ‘You are mine.’ Love said to the world, ‘I am yours.’ Love won.”
• Leading from the soul means reversing the ways that power is misused. The guiding principle is to empower others every step of the way, as you empower yourself.
• Cross the boundary that separates personal power from transpersonal power. Transpersonal means “going beyond the individual.” This is the kind of power that exists within everyone at the level of the soul.
• Treading the path to power begins by knowing your personal strengths and building on them. The same is true when you empower others. With the expansion of awareness, you express the wholeness of your soul. Then your strength comes from the level of being.
Power becomes a problem when the ego tries to co-opt it. Realize that power isn’t about “I, me, and mine.” Cultivate detachment in your role as a leader. People confuse feeling high with being powerful, but power derived from the soul is a combination of stillness and dynamism. It never runs out, even after the high is over. In detachment you can experience the surge of power without getting lost in it. You can move into any situation with a sense that everything you want is already inside you—this is a relaxed, assured state, and a place of power.
Today you can begin to practice detachment while still being fully engaged—that’s the real trick, since a cool, aloof detachment is the same as indifference. But there’s a model for detachment that comes naturally and is the opposite of indifference: play. When you watch a child at play, she’s completely focused and engaged. The game is all-consuming. Distractions aren’t a problem. The child is carefree and full of energy as long as the game doesn’t turn serious and become about winning. The following exercise can bring you into this state of play as an adult.
When you wake up in the morning, allow yourself ten minutes in bed with your eyes closed. Visualize the day ahead. See the critical moments that hold important decisions or choices for you. See these situations turning out for the best. Don’t tie yourself to a fixed scenario; just let your mind play with possibilities. Once you feel happy with a scene, go back and view it from another perspective. Watch it turn out well, also, but along completely different lines. Return two or three times, playing with enough possibilities that you aren’t stuck on only one—be as comfortable as you can with whatever your soul wants to bring to you.
When you are finished, leave aside your visualizations and meet the day with openness.
This exercise is about lila (pronounced “leelah”), or “the playfulness of creation,” as it is known in Sanskrit. Lila is the way the soul operates, by enjoying the unfolding of every moment and turning “what is” into “what will be,” not following a straight line or a predictable course but letting every ingredient contribute to something new. Lila is your natural state. You are falling out of it whenever the following is happening:
You invest your ego in winning.
You hate losing.
You have to be in control.
You have to be right.
You feel tense and uncomfortable.
The stress is getting to you.
Things get too serious.
Nothing feels like fun.
To truly play, you must become aware of these warning signs and do something about them. Every situation is different, but the feeling of play can always be recaptured if you listen inside and respect the truth that creativity is meant to be carefree. I’m not talking about forced jolliness, or mischief, or turning everything into a game. We all know what it’s like to be innocent and carefree, a state that the soul never leaves. This is playfulness of the spirit.
If you keep up the exercise just described, you will begin to be less stuck on the need for control and a narrow fixity on which outcome is best. Every day is a new world, but we inhabit it as people who don’t know how to be new. Detachment, in its purest form, is the willingness to renew yourself by letting go of old conditioning. In complete openness you let the new flood through you, and then you will become as playful as creation itself.