Chapter 15

 

 

Three Months Later

 

 

“Hey, Gary,” Calista said, standing at the door, gently bouncing a sleeping baby Garrison, Junior in her arms. Garrison had arrived to pick up his son. “Just a sec. Let me get his things.”

He’d usually stand outside the door like he was afraid to come in for some reason – like it was politically incorrect to be inside of her apartment alone with her, but today, the first time in three months, he stepped in and closed the door.

The move surprised Calista. “The diaper bag is right there on the couch. He just had his bottle and has been sound asleep for…umm…about twenty minutes now.”

“Okay,” Garrison said, sitting down.

“Oh. You’re staying?”

“I have nowhere to be,” he said.

“Okay,” Calista said. Guess there’s no use in putting Junior in his car seat. He smiled. She would get to hold him a little while longer. It didn’t take long for her to grow attached to Junior. After the first few days of keeping him, she was hooked. His baby smell, those cooing noises, his little hands and feet – she loved him already.

“How was he today?” Garrison asked.

“A piece of cake. He does get fussy when he’s hungry. I imagine he gets that from his daddy.”

Garrison grinned.

“Speaking of food, have you eaten? I made some barbecue chicken and mashed potatoes. I can warm some for you.”

“That would be great. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in…can’t tell you when.”

Calista walked over to Garrison and said, “Here. Hold your little man.” She was careful while transitioning the baby from her arms to his.

Garrison carefully cradled Junior’s head into the palm of his hand and while holding him, he bent forward to kiss his cheek. Then he lowered Junior to the car seat before standing, looking around the apartment. He never did that before either – never paid much attention to how small her apartment was in relation to where she’d moved from. Barringer had the biggest house of them all.

Calista set the microwave to two minutes, then turned around to see Garrison eyeing up her apartment. “I know it isn’t much, but it’ll due. It’s only me.”

Garrison nodded. “It’s plenty for one person.”

“And a part-time baby.”

Garrison grinned. “Right. And a part-time baby.”

The microwave dinged. Calista removed his plate of hot chicken and mashed potatoes and set it on the table – the two-chair dinette in the kitchen. The area wasn’t big enough to fit a four-chair table set.

Garrison sat down, looked at the food and said, “Mmm, this smells delicious.”

“It used to be one of Barringer’s favorites,” Calista said.

“Speaking of Barringer, when was the last time you two talked?” Garrison took a bite of the chicken, mumbled how good it was and licked his fingers. He looked up at her, waiting for an answer to his question.

“Um…”

“That long, huh?”

Calista nodded. “Last time we talked, we were in the waiting room at the hospital when…when—”

“When Vivienne was in labor,” Garrison finished saying for her when he realized she was hesitant to do so.

“Yes, so three months.”

“Yeah. Three months,” Garrison said, staring blankly at her for a moment. He returned his attention to the food.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Calista asked.

“A glass of water will be fine.”

“Okay,” she said standing. She took a Styrofoam cup from the cabinet and filled it with ice and water before placing it on the table next to his plate.

“Thank you, Cali.”

“You’re welcome. Sorry I don’t have glasses. I don’t see a point in buying any when these cups work just fine.”

“It’s okay. I’m not picky.”

She smiled while watching him drink then decided to ask, “So how have you been coping?”

Garrison shrugged. “How are you coping being without Barry?”

“It’s not the same, Gary. My situation is much more different than yours.”

“I wasn’t trying to imply it was the same. I was simply asking a question.”

“Why?”

“Because you and my brother have been married for half a decade and now, you’re here and have completely started over from scratch. So, how are you coping?”

Calista expelled a breath. She didn’t know she’d be talking about the life and times and Calista and Barringer with Garrison, but maybe it was his way of avoiding any and everything that involved Vivienne. Seemed that’s all everyone wanted to talk about whenever he came around and it must’ve been a pain to do so. So she decided to answer him as truthfully as she could. “Honestly, I could be better. It’s not like I wanted to leave Barringer. I still love him. I told him I did, but I’m too valuable to be third place to a man.”

“Ouch. If you’re third, who’s first and second?”

“Well, first is his job, second is his money and all the material things he buys with it.” Calista watched as Garrison finished the last piece of chicken she’d given him. “I have more if you would like.”

“You have more?”

“Yeah. I cooked a big pan of it.”

“Why, when it’s just you here?”

“Force of habit. Barringer always had a big appetite, so I’m used to cooking extra whenever I do cook. You want more?”

“Yeah. I’ll take more.”

Calista stood up, removed the pan of chicken from the fridge and the Tupperware container of mashed potatoes, took his plate, refilled it and warmed it in the microwave again. While his food heated up, she quickly stepped over to the living room to check on Junior. As she walked back to the kitchen, the microwave dinged. She retrieved the food and set the plate on the table in front of Garrison.

She took the chair opposite of him again, watching him eat.

“I quit,” he said, steadily chewing.

“What?”

“My job at Blackstone Financial. I resigned. Barringer wasn’t happy about it, but I did what I had to do.”

Calista nodded. “If you resigned, what do you do after you drop off Junior with me?”

“Run errands. Sleep. Mostly sleep. I don’t have a lot of motivation to do anything these days.”

“Whatever happened to your dream of owning your own consulting business?”

A smile came to his face. “You still remember that?” he asked curiously.

“Of course I remember. We did date for almost two years, Gary. I remember a lot about you.”

Garrison stared at her and she held his gaze, waiting for him to say something, but he didn’t. Just stared.

Finally, she looked away, feeling her cheeks redden in the process. Crap, what was that?

“Like what?”

“Huh?” she asked, glancing up at him again.

“What do you remember about me?”

“Uh…nothing,” Calista said, standing. “I think I heard my phone. I’ll be right back.” She grabbed her phone from the coffee table then rushed to get into her bedroom, closing the door. She palm-slapped herself in the forehead and sat on the bed. Why had she brought up anything pertaining to their past? “Not a smart move, Calista,” she whispered.

After she shook it off, she left her phone on the nightstand before joining him in the kitchen. Before she could get a word out, he said, “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. Wasn’t my intent.”

“No, it’s fine,” Calista said sitting down at the table again though she was a bit uncomfortable. She had a past with Garrison. And, by looks only, he reminded her so much of her husband – of Barringer. Dark. Chocolate. Alluring. Physically fit. The difference between the brothers was, while Garrison was more mild-tempered, Barringer was brash, argumentative and somewhat of a perfectionist. If they could swap personalities, Barringer would make the perfect husband. But what was she really saying?

Stop it, Calista. What are you thinking?

As Garrison neared his final bites, relief settled her stomach. He’d be leaving soon. She could handle a few more minutes of small talk. “Junior is a good sleeper.”

“He is,” Garrison said in agreement. “Once he’s fed, burped and changed, he’ll kill some sleep.”

“That’s true.” Calista watched Garrison wipe his mouth with a paper towel.

“That was delicious,” he said. “Whenever you decide to cook, remember me, girl.”

Calista laughed. “Okay. I will.” She held his vision again. “So how have you been doing, you know, with everything?”

Garrison glared lightly and said, “It’s okay to say Vivienne’s name, Cali.”

“Oh. Okay. I didn’t know if I should, or how you felt about it and—” Calista blew a breath. “Sorry for making this awkward.”

“Forgiven. Let’s see…ah…some days I’m good. Some days I really miss her. She was a part of me, and she left me with a beautiful son.”

Calista nodded.

“The weeks immediately following the funeral were the hardest. For the first month, I cried…not ashamed to admit that.”

“You shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s good to cry. I know men like to play the macho role, but crying is good. Emotion is good.” She could only wish Barringer showed his true emotions. He was more like a cold, corporate robot than a loving husband. Hence, their separation.

“I can’t thank you enough for quitting your new job to take care of Junior on a full-time basis. I know it was a tough decision to make.”

Calista shrugged. “I was only there for a month.”

“Well, I hope the money Vivienne and I set aside for his care is enough for you to live off of and take care of Junior at the same time.”

“It’s more than enough. In fact, I think it’s too much. I would’ve made due without it.”

“Nonsense.”

“Seriously, Gary. I made Vivienne a promise, and it’s one I intend on keeping.”

Garrison finished drinking his water.

“Was it your idea for me to take care of the baby?” Calista inquired.

Garrison shook his head. “It was Vivienne’s idea, but I agreed to it. She knew how much you wanted to be a mother, so it made sense. I’m glad she chose you. You have a way with children.”

“Thanks.” Calista glanced at the clock. The time was close to eleven. Garrison looked too relaxed to leave. He leaned back in the chair while stretching his arms above his head, yawning.

She smiled. “You got the itis now?”

He laughed, lowering his arms. “Yeah. I got it. A good meal will do that to a man. You mind if I crashed on the couch tonight?”

“Uh…um…” Wait, is he serious, or is this a part of the joke?

“I’ll stay out of your way,” Garrison added. “You have extra clothes and formula here for Junior, right?”

Oh goodness. He is serious. Calista swallowed. “Ye-yeah.”

“Then would it be okay?” he asked again.

“Yeah. That’s fine. I don’t have extra blankets or anything.”

“I don’t need any. I just don’t want to be there tonight. Alone, again. I want to…I need to talk. To you.”

“To me?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes.”

“Gary, you have your brothers. Kalina told me Bryson has been trying to get ahold of you. And Everson. Candice. Your parents. You have plenty of people to talk to.”

“I do, but I want to talk to you. The night of the repast, you held my hand and told me if ever I needed to talk I could come to you, right?”

Calista smiled warmly. “Right.” It took him three months, but he finally wanted to talk.

Garrison stood up and walked over to the living room where he checked on Junior, adjusting him slightly in the car seat before he sat on the sandy brown, microfiber couch.

Calista followed him, choosing to sit on the loveseat. She looked over at him. His long, outstretched legs nearly touched her coffee table. He threw his head back and spread his arms out on the backrest of the couch. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“The fact that I have yet to visit her grave, and I don’t know if I should. If I do, what do I say?”

“Well—”

“And what am I supposed to tell my son when he’s older? When he asks, where’s mommy? What am I supposed to say?”

“That’s years down the road, Gary.”

“I know, but this is what I think about. It’s constantly on my mind.” Garrison released a frustrated breath.

“When he’s old enough to understand, you tell him the truth. He’ll learn the truth anyway, so there’s no use in keeping it from him. And it’s a personal choice whether you want to visit her grave, but I wouldn’t be opposed to going with you for support.”

“You would?”

“Yes, and I’m sure any one of the family would. I loved Vivienne, too. Loved her like a sister. We all loved her. Still do.”

A half smile touched his lips.

“And you can visit her grave whenever you want, however many times you want.”

Garrison scrubbed his hands down his face. “I’m going to let you get to bed. I’m overstaying my welcome. I’m aware of that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Calista said standing. And it was fine. She was uneasy at first, but the truth of the matter was, Garrison needed her and she wanted to be there for him. “I hope you have a good night’s sleep.”

“Thanks again, Calista.”

“You’re welcome, Gary.” Calista turned around to head for her bedroom when she had a thought. “Gary.”

“Yes?” he said. He’d already stretched out on the couch, his body expanding the length of it. “Have you thought about going back to work?”

“At Blackstone Financial?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

He sat up a little. “No. Why?”

“Because working can help keep your mind off of…things.”

“You mean Vivienne.”

Calista nodded. “Yes. Vivienne. It helps to know you’re working to accomplish something…that you’re making a difference and from what I’ve heard, Barry could use the help.”

Garrison lowered his head again, staring up at the ceiling. “I haven’t given much thought to going back.”

“Well, think about it,” she said. “Oh, and I’ll take Junior in my room so you can get a full night’s sleep.”

“You don’t have to do that, Cali. You’ve already watched him the entire day.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind it. I’ve been waiting a long time to take care of a baby. Looks like this is as close as I’m going to get.” She bent forward and scooped Junior out of his car seat, carefully securing his head and neck, cradling him in her arms. “Plus, his crib is in my room…can’t have my baby cramped up in a car seat all night.”

My baby…

“Well, if you insist.” Exhausted and full, Garrison closed his eyes.

Calista continued on to her bedroom whispering, “That’s right, little Gary…come on to Auntie Cali’s room so daddy can get some sleep.”