Guess where I ran to? Straight to the nurse’s office, of course! ’Cause there’s those little plaid blankets to hide under!
There’s other neat stuff in there, too. Like a scale to weigh yourself. And a sign with a giant E and other letters.
The nurse uses the sign to test your eyes. She points to the letters. And you have to yell out their names.
You have to yell the E the loudest. That’s how come it’s so big.
And guess what else I saw in the nurse’s office? Band-Aids, that’s what! I love those guys!
They were on top of the desk. And so I opened the lid. And I sniffed them.
“Ummm,” I said. ’Cause Band-Aids smell just like a brand-new beach ball.
Then I dumped them out. They were the most prettiest Band-Aids I ever saw! They were red and blue and green! And also yellow. Which is the color I hate.
And they were different shapes, too. There were squares and circles. And some were that very long kind—which are called tangles, I think.
I put a green circle on my knee. That’s where I fell down on the sidewalk last week. It’s mostly all better now. But if I press it very hard with my thumb, I can still make it hurt.
After that, I put a blue tangle on my finger. That’s where I got a splinter from the picnic table. Mother pulled it out with tweezers. But there’s still some table in there, I think.
Also, I put a red square on my arm. That’s where Tickle scratched me. Because I got him all wound up.
Just then I saw the nurse’s purple sweater. It was hanging on her chair.
I put it on.
“Now I’m the nurse,” I said.
Then I sat down. And I pretended to call the hospital.
“Hello, hospital? It’s me, the nurse. I need some more Band-Aids and some aspirins and some cherry cough drops. Only not the kind that make your mouth feel freezy.
“And I need some lollipops for when kids get needles.
“And also I need a little stick or something in case I have to touch that dangly thing that hangs down in your throat.”
Then I pretended to call Room Nine.
“Hello, Mrs.? Please send that Jim to my office. I have to give him a shot.”
Just then I saw my most favorite thing in the whole world! They were near the door. And their name is crutches!
Crutches are for when you break a leg. Then the doctor puts it in a big white cast with just your piggies sticking out. And you can’t walk on it. And so she gives you crutches to swing yourself.
I ran over and picked them up. Then I put them under my arms. Only they were way too long for me. And I didn’t swing that good.
And so then I got another idea! I carried them to the nurse’s chair. And I climbed up there so I was real tall. And then I put the crutches under my arms. And they fitted just right!
After that, I stood on the edge of the chair. And I leaned forward very slow.
Except then a terrible thing happened! The chair was on wheels. And it rolled away from my feet! And I got stuck on the crutches way high in the air! And I was very dangly up there!
“HEY!” I shouted. “GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!”
Then I wiggled around. And one of the crutches slipped. And I came crashing down! And I banged my head on the desk!
“OW!” I yelled. “OW! OW! OW!”
Then I picked up the phone again. “I quit this stupid job!” I said.
And then I ran out of there very fast.
’Cause the nurse’s office is a dangerous place.
And crutches aren’t my favorite thing.