IS MY QUESTIONING HABIT STRONG?
LET’S GO BACK to the beginning. Do you want to help people? Might you need to influence them? Are you frustrated by others just not getting it? Are you struggling to get others to act as you’d like? Are you having any of the problems that John was having? Perhaps you have staff not adopting the processes you’d like (think of Bob and Mary), perhaps your boss isn’t hearing you (think of Sarah). Perhaps one of your colleagues isn’t providing the support that you’d like (think of Harry), or perhaps a prospective client isn’t responding the way you’d like (think of Alex). In all these situations, it is likely that adopting a better questioning habit will be of enormous value to you.
We’ve discussed steps you can use to start asking effective questions and we’ve explored ways that you can develop this as a habit. The most common types of questions, along with how they work together within the question funnel, are at the heart of this habit. In future, you will go through such actions almost automatically every time you need to influence someone but, for now, let’s evaluate how well you’re asking questions.
1.Do your questions start open, narrow down to be more directive and only in the later stages become closed questions, with any closed questions having a clear and specific purpose?
2.Do you have a set of digging-deeper questions ready to deploy during the conversation?
3.If necessary, are you prepared to find the kidneys and make them bleed?
4.Have you visualised yourself listening properly to the answers — remaining silent, maintaining eye contact and confirming what you hear in the answers?
If you can answer yes to these four questions, you should be making progress. If you find yourself resisting or avoiding asking questions, or simply making statements and providing the answers, then evaluate your mindset in the following ways, ranking yourself in each case from 1 to 10.
1.I genuinely believe that the other person can find the answers and that others will come up with as good an understanding or solution as I will.
2.I am completely open to ideas other than those I already have in my mind; in fact, I’m curious to find them and am excited at the prospect of exploring them.
3.I recognise the importance of helping other people do the right thing and adopt the right actions, so I am patient in not doing it for them and not just telling them but instead helping them to work it out or do it.
4.I honestly have the courage to ask difficult questions and am comfortable with the awkward silence that sometimes follows.
As long as you’re scoring 8 or above for each of these four questions, then your mindset should be well-positioned to be asking questions effectively and using the habit well. If you’re answering yes to the four questions listed previously, then your mindset and your skills are well developed to master the habit of questioning. Now, continue to practise and enjoy the positive impact you’ll have on others!