One evening, about a week after their return from Belfast, Eric announced yet again over dinner that he was going out for a while.
“Where to?” Liz asked, her heart dropping like a stone.
“I’m just popping down to Mum’s,” he replied, as he got up from the kitchen table. “I haven’t seen her in a few days.”
“But it’s your first night off in weeks,” she said, disappointment coursing through her. Couldn’t he go at least a few days without seeing her, whoever she might be?
You know damn well it’s Emma Harrington and the sooner you admit that the better, Liz admonished herself, her heart twisting as unbidden images of Emma and her husband together filled her brain.
But she couldn’t do that, not just yet, she thought, trying to get a grip on things. Because as soon as Liz admitted to herself that Eric really was having an affair, then her life as she knew it was over. She couldn’t carry on like this –they couldn’t carry on like this, pretending that everything was OK on the outside, when inwardly they were both falling apart. Well, Liz was anyway. Maybe Eric was finding this all very straightforward and she was the one feeling the strain.
“I know, but I promised Mum I’d call and see her this week,” Eric told her. “She’s probably still feeling a bit down after the funeral.”
“OK then, why don’t we all go?” Liz suggested, trying to keep her voice casual. “We’ll leave the washing-up till later. I’m sure she’d like to see Toby too.”
At this, she could clearly see his facial muscles twitch. “Well, yeah, good idea, but won’t one of us have to stay behind and look after the dogs?”
“Oh right, I’d almost forgotten.” Liz had forgotten all about the dogs and the fact that one of them was being collected tonight. “I suppose I’d better stay.”
“You don’t mind me taking Toby, then?” Eric seemed thoughtful. “You’re right, I’m sure Mum would like to see him.”
Liz sat back, her mind racing. He wouldn’t dream of involving their son in one of his trysts, would he? No, she was being over-sensitive now. If Eric was taking Toby with him, then he evidently was planning to visit his mother and her mind was simply running away with her. There was no question but that he wouldn’t stoop so low as to bring his son, their son, to a meeting with Emma. Because if there was, then Eric really was no longer the man she’d fallen in love with and a million miles away from the man she’d married.
When Eric had settled Toby in his pushchair, and the two were ready to leave, Liz bent down and lightly kissed the top of Toby’s head.
“OK, then,” she told the two people she loved most in the world. “Have fun.”
“He looks like you,” Emma said, laughing gaily.
“Do you think so? Everyone else says he looks like Liz.”
“Naw, he’s too good-looking,” she joked.
“That’s not very nice.”
“Oh, you know I’m only joking, Eric. Don’t take it all so seriously.” She sat back down on the park bench, the two having once again convened at their preferred meeting place, the park behind the castle.
Eric shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He hadn’t liked the idea of taking Toby with him, but Liz was right, it had been a while since his mother had seen her grandson and it would have looked odd if he hadn’t wanted to bring him. So, in order to avoid suspicion about his whereabouts, he had indeed gone to visit his mother. But only briefly.
And he’d got even more of a fright when, within about five minutes of their arrival at the park, they’d spotted someone walking along the pathway towards the river.
“Shit, who the hell is that?” Eric asked, his face paling at the thought of someone seeing them together – and with Toby here too!
Emma too looked concerned, but as the person drew closer, they realised it was no one they knew. Eventually, having bid them a friendly hello as he passed, the man, who was carrying a fishing rod, continued further down the river.
“Relax – it’s nobody from around here – probably just some tourist doing a spot of fishing.”
Thank God, Eric thought silently. Now he turned to Emma, who this evening was looking very pretty, dressed in a pair of tailored trousers and a pattered top, her bump now becoming visible beneath it.
“So how are you feeling?” he asked.
She made a face. “Like death. Although at least the morning sickness seems to have calmed down a bit. But I’ve put on lots of weight and it’s driving me mad. My face looks like somebody stuffed cotton wool in my cheeks and my breasts are getting bigger by the day! Although maybe that’s not such a bad thing, eh?” she added jokingly.
Despite himself, Eric reddened. “It’s good that you’re over the morning sickness anyway,” he said, gulping slightly. “But how do you feel about, you know, everything else?”
She rolled her eyes. “Tara and my mum are still driving me mad – trying to find out who the father is and why I’m hiding it. But they can keep trying.” She looked at him. “How’s everything with you?”
Eric sighed. “Things are getting worse. You know Liz and I were away last weekend?”
“Sure, how did it go?” Emma tried to sound offhand.
“The usual. She spent the entire time talking about Toby and the house and the dogs – it’s all she cares about now. It’s as though I no longer have a part to play in her little world.” He sat forward. “At one stage, I was almost tempted to come right out and tell her.”
“You can’t,” Emma warned. “Not yet – not until it’s all sorted.”
“I know, but I feel so guilty keeping secrets from her. After all, this affects her future too.”
Emma put a hand on his arm. “Promise me you’ll give it just a little more time before you tell her. Now is not the right time. And if she finds out that I’m involved, all hell will break loose. She’ll want to throttle me!”
“Liz wouldn’t dream of doing something like that.” Despite his guilt or perhaps because of it, Eric felt obliged to defend his wife.
“Right,” Emma snorted, “I’m sure she’s a very understanding person.”
“She is actually.”
“OK then, how understanding would she be if she found out that you’ve brought your son to one of our meetings?”
He bowed his head. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t bring him here on purpose, and we went to see Mum first.”
“Liz might not see it that way.”
Emma reached across and kissed him on the cheek. “Look, try not to worry about it too much for the moment. We’ll think of something. In the meantime, we’ll both keep our mouths shut – about everything, OK?”
“OK.”
“It’ll all work out for the best, I promise you.”
“Will it?” Eric asked, thinking that things certainly couldn’t get much worse than they’d been recently.