10. Lessons on Team Harmony
The Tao of operations lies in harmonizing people. When people are in harmony, they will fight naturally, without being coerced to do so.
Zhuge Liang, Chinese strategist
THE EMPHASIS on the power of a harmonious group is an important feature that has made The Art of War one of the most widely read books among generals, corporate CEOs, and athletic coaches throughout the world. The Chinese book of change, the I Ching, teaches that the human spirit is nourished by a sense of connectedness and unity.
The champion is well aware of how synergy and cooperative action impact the success of teams. It is the key to team effectiveness in any arena of life. In his insightful book Playing for Keeps, David Halberstam talks about how, at the University of North Carolina, under the guidance of coach Dean Smith, “everything was built around the concept of team.... In the long run he believed that you went further by working as a team and sacrificing individuality to team effort... it would serve his players better later in their lives.” Who could argue with such a successful program... and the success of its graduates twenty years later?
Furthering these thoughts, coach Phil Jackson believes that good teams become great ones when the members trust each other enough to get beyond the “me” for the “we.” The key to such a shift, in Jackson’s mind, is the Zen notion of selflessness; more about this concept later.
Students of history can point out how world cultures strive for spiritual togetherness, to harmonize the hearts and minds of the people. The Tao Te Ching reminds us that cultures that eternally exist do so because they exist for each other. Sports teams, business organizations, and families that exist for each other tend to be around for a long time. The following lessons on harmony have been used successfully by thousands of successful, long-lasting champions.
TEAM MAGIC
WHEN I WORK with teams that demonstrate many of the qualities of a champion, I notice something special about them. They exude a certain magic... how they walk, talk, run, play. It’s different in a special way. The following passage describes my experience after being with such a team during an action-packed, intense final-four weekend. I gave each member a copy, and I want you to have a sense about their dance, their way, one that mesmerized all who came to watch. I wish we all could experience the magic of such a team:
In my view, the athletes who play on this team do so because there is a magic to it, one that is hard to find in life. Partly, this magic resides in the physical sensation and pleasure, of catching a ball on the run, sprinting to the goal for a score. Part of the magic is in the psychological realm where we feel the trust, security, and confidence from being together all season. And in the spiritual domain, it is the safe, comfortable place created to help us take risks and look foolish or fail, so necessary to discover what we are made of, the juice of life, a way of being, not only on the field, court, arena, but in the larger game of life. There is not only the relationship with team, coach, self but our relationship to the stick, the bat, the ball... all an extension of our hearts, our souls, an expression of who we are. There is also an aesthetic component of the team, one that demonstrates the absolutely most beautiful way of playing and competing. Just as ballet is the most beautiful way of moving the body between two points, your team is to your sport as ballet is to walking. So many other teams wish they could dance like you rather than experience a dance form more rigid, forceful, less fluid, and contrived. These are forms without soul, without heart, without courage. When they see you, they discover a more disciplined, beautiful, flowing way, free of fear, filled with compassion, all of which fills the void, the holes in the soul. They crave your dance and are not sure what it is or how you’re being. They just know they are tired of being the wallflowers in the big dance. They want a piece of the magic you own, yet, until they let go of the need to fight you, beat you, destroy you and simply play the game or dance the dance, the magic will be forever elusive.
They did win the national championship, but more importantly, they won the hearts of all who came to experience their demonstration of passion and love for the game. They were being champions even before the outcome was decided. The next year, at another final four, the team t-shirts read: DANCE ON. They did and won, once again.
GEESE IN FLIGHT
Champion-like teams are very much like a flock of geese migrating to warmer climates. First of all, the geese fly together, in a V formation, in order to help each other conserve energy. Because of this, they use less effort, and as a result can then fly 71 percent farther. This is the same principle used by top-notch cycling teams who share the work as they aerodynamically cruise through the course.
Geese in flight are continually “honking” as they go. To an observer, this is nothing more than an annoyance. For the birds, these are the sweet sounds of encouragement and positive chatter; they could be saying “way to go, big bird, keep it up, looking strong, you can do it.” Champion teams mimic their fine feathered friends in this way.
And the most impressive behavior of all reflects their deep caring and compassion the geese have for each other. When a “teammate” gets injured or sick during the journey, a small group stays behind to nurture their buddy back to health. They are “there” for each other to help during a crisis. So it is with champion teams; when the going gets tough, the tough get going and contribute in a big way to relieve each other’s pain, to help those in need.
When champions model these behaviors, they also fly high like the geese. The V formation then becomes the universal sign for victory, which champions experience in the process, in the here and now. Again, the wisdom of The Art of War tells you that a cohesive, harmonic team with high morale often will defeat a more talented group that lacks such qualities. The truth is, it is difficult to beat a team that plays like a team. And, there’s nothing more beautiful than watching and experiencing a group of inspired, unified, cohesive, athletes playing together for a common cause, one heart, one soul.
STARTING AND STOPPING
HERE IS A GROUP EXERCISE for creating team harmony that I learned from a good friend and colleague, Dr. Alan Goldberg. I use it often to get a group to be on the same page and work together more closely. It’s called “Stop, Start, and Continue.”
The exercise is done in any private, intimate meeting room. It consists of a series of three questions:
1. What are we doing now that we have to stop doing, as a team, group, family, to build team unity and to function at a higher level?
2. What are we not doing now that we have to start doing, as a team, group, family, to build team unity and to function at a higher level?
3. What are we doing that we need to continue doing, as a team, group, family, to keep our cohesion and unity strong?
The results of this exercise are powerful. You may want to record the responses on a master sheet, give a copy to everyone, and ask them to read it each day for the following week. Check in with everyone within the week to see how they are managing their tasks. This exercise exposes what’s going well and what needs work, and provides some creative ways to address these issues. Accountability and responsibility are central to the mission of this work.
There is a poignant Chinese fable that demonstrates the power of working together: The story has it that heaven and hell are exactly alike. Both are enormous banquets with every wonderful dish imaginable covering numerous round tables. The diners are given five-foot-long chopsticks. In hell, the diners give up trying to manipulate these giant utensils and starve. In heaven, everyone simply feeds the person across the table. How does this story relate to teamwork in athletics or life?
SHARED REFLECTION
Attain the highest openness;
Maintain the deepest harmony.
THE TAO TEACHES YOU to notice the patterns in your life, to reflect upon what is happening with you and others in your life, and to be open and honest with your feelings. Reflection enables you to take time out and “check in” with yourself and others as athletes and friends. You need to be able to appreciate how far each of you has come, and why. The Way of the Champion understands that such periodic shared reflection with team-mates, coworkers, and family members promotes team harmony, trust, and cohesion. I have used the following exercises for many years with teams in athletics and business to accomplish this goal. It works well with families, too.
THE CIRCLE OF APPRECIATION
There is no question that the participants absolutely love this experience. I use it sparingly, choosing significant times during a season, such as an important tournament, the last game of the season, or when there seems to be low morale. This will help the participants to feel closer and good about themselves, by generating powerful performance-enhancing emotions. I have used it with people from the ages of thirteen and up. You need to allow at least an hour to complete the exercise. Do not use this if there are many unresolved conflicts within the group. I divide everyone into a circle of fifteen to thirty participants. If there are more than this, you could have two or more groups in numerous circles. Feel free to mix male and female if they train together. I begin by telling the group that this exercise has been used by several great championship teams at the professional and collegiate ranks, and that it will help them to compete at a higher level. We start with anyone in the circle, who turns to the person to the left and makes a few positive comments about anything he or she admires, likes, and respects about that person. Those in the circle need to understand that trivial remarks such as “I like how you dress” are inappropriate. Try something like “I love your work ethic. You really motivate us. I respect your way of giving to everyone,” or “I feel like you are a brother (sister) to me. I know I can count on you.” Comments need to be sincere, personal, and positive. It’s not essential that you like the person; simply find something nice, relevant, and true to express. After everyone has had a chance to contribute (coaches as well), reverse the direction, if time allows. To further guide the group, I mention that they should keep their comments to no more than a minute or two. I am not rigid about this, however. My experience has been that, once they get into this, they don’t want to stop; you can’t keep them quiet; they crave such feedback and deserve it. You should not do this if strapped for time. I tell coaches that we need to not feel pressure to leave. It’s a rare opportunity for most, and it feels terrific, so let it flow.
GREATEST MEMORY CIRCLE
Again, we begin this exercise in a circle. It’s similar to the above experience, yet usually not as deeply personal. Have each athlete focus on something significant that occurred during the season, a time of joy, elation, sadness, disappointment, winning, or losing. As they recall and speak about these moments to each other, everyone in the group will begin to feel a special connection and bond. Memories can be individual or team-related. Again, encourage the athletes to avoid trivial comments. As with the Circle of Appreciation, start and go around the circle to your left (the heart is on the left side of the body). Coaches are included in the discussion. Needless to say, this is best done toward the conclusion of a season.
POWER OF THE CIRCLE
THE SYMBOLIC USE of the circle in sport and for life is significant. Obviously, we talk about a “round” of golf, played with a tiny round ball that goes in a circular cup. “Round ball” is about basketball, also referred to as “Hoops.” You shoot three pointers from behind the arc. There is the circle at center court where the game begins. Motion offense requires the interchange of players moving in circular patterns. In baseball, a home run is called a “round tripper.” The mound is circular, and the pitcher winds up in a circular fashion, delivering a round ball to a batter who hits it and circles the bases. Everywhere you look, the circle is present.
Its significance with respect to team unity is enormous. My work with groups always begins with a large circle, or several smaller versions. Of all the symbols, it is the circle that is most associated with Zen, Tao, and Native American tradition. I tell my groups that the circle is a sacred bond that brings us together in one unified fashion. There is no beginning and no end, yet it is complete. Nothing else has this special quality.
I talk about the relevance of the circle for our journey. As we go around the circumference in the group circle, I point out that we wind up where we began. The circular journey is one where you spiral upward while constantly revisiting certain familiar themes with greater wisdom, vision, and perspective, more developed because of the experience. We are changed athletes and people from whom we once were.
The circle gives us the chance to appreciate the center of “emptiness” within its circumference. The “beginner’s mind,” like the inner circle, is empty and full of infinite potential, like our team. I emphasize the importance of being empty, open, and receptive to new ideas just as the middle of the circle is open and ready for the entrance of good things happening.
And finally, what better way to communicate and connect with each other than in a circle, where you can look in each other’s eyes, the windows to the soul, and be accountable to the team? We connect physically in the circle, as well, reaching out, holding hands or locking arms, and forming an uninterrupted solid circle, all together in the spirit of oneness. “Let the circle be unbroken,” as the song so wisely states.
THE CHAMPION TEAM
MANY TEAMS want to be champions. I am quick to remind them that being a champion is not about becoming. It’s a spiritual practice of connecting to the actions, behaviors, and virtues of the champion’s way. I say to them: You are a championship-level team if:
You know who you are... you self-define and act on it every day.
You share the same dream, vision, passion, and willingness to do all that it takes (including diminished roles, etc.) in order to be successful.
You challenge each other (all-out efforts) in practice, knowing that making it difficult for each other helps everyone to improve. Be fierce, bold, and courageous in workouts and you’ll be that way in an event.
You all accept a leadership role in your own way, rather than rely on only a few to do the work. Bring hope, enthusiasm, and fire each day. Leadership is a daily practice.
You walk side by side over many miles of rough terrain, win or lose, happy or sad... it all serves to bring you closer. Share your appreciation of each other out loud (Circle of Appreciation).
You support each other to take the necessary risks to become great, even if you look foolish, feel uncomfortable. Compassion is the one virtue that enables a team to sustain success over time.
You are not afraid to ask for help. Teams are strongest when they understand the interdependent nature of things. Shouting “help” on defense is acceptable; so should it be in all other aspects of the game, and of life.
You pursue victory in a context of cooperation, friendship, support, mutual respect, and compassion. This is “truth,” learned through team sports.
Know that each of these items is filled with concepts and thoughts that can be brought to the table for discussion at team or group meetings. For example, spend an hour on item number one by asking: “Who are we as a team?” When the adjectives pour out, ask them what actions or behaviors they can perform that will help to demonstrate these words, to make the words come alive on the field during a game. Go through each item and let the group give its input with regard to its relevancy to the team.
LESSONS AS AFFIRMATIONS
Magic happens to my team or group when we stay connected to our love and passion for the game and demonstrate them each day.
Working together, each one becomes so much more.
Compassion is the glue that binds my team or group.
I look for ways to work with my teammates and coworkers and raise our level of play.
It is crucial to take the time to check in with my team or group and express appreciation for who they are.
I honor the significance of the circle as a sacred bond that ties us all together.
The circle reminds me of the journey and the infinite potential available when minds are open.
QUESTIONS ON THE QUEST:
What two things can I do today to help make my team or group special?
In what ways is my team or group magic?
What is the greatest memory I have about my team or group?
What are three things I appreciate about my team or group?
Why can we achieve our goals? What obstacles block the way? What can we do to overcome these obstacles?
Why do we (I) deserve to be a national, conference, game contender? What do we (I) need to do to act like a contender?
What is it like to compete against us (me)? How does our (my) opponent need to prepare for us (me)?