2. Lessons on Purpose and Vision
Know your purpose, vision, mission and the message you want to send and how you will send it. Prior analysis brings victory; little or no analysis is foretelling defeat.
Sun-Tzu
WITH A STRONG SENSE of self and knowing who you are, you are now capable of developing a definitive purpose and clear vision for your journey. This purpose and vision for the champion is something much bigger than self or any other individual. In this sense, both are a higher calling to discovering ultimate greatness. Champions have taught us that we can take charge, to influence and control purpose, vision, and mission. In his book, The Art of War, Sun-Tzu reinforces the athletes’ message when he tells us to take control of environments and be sure to evaluate thoroughly the direction you intend to take. Does it give you what you need? Are you getting what you deserve? Are all bases covered? When you make the move, do not burn bridges behind you. Make sure your destination is a safe one.
In this chapter, you will learn lessons about regrets, mission, raising the bar, winning, detachment, and more. And one thing is absolutely certain: If you are wondering where you are going (purpose and vision), you will never get there. Champions are strongly proactive about the journey; they have purpose and vision.
PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT
MY PURPOSE and vision for writing this book begin with a simple mission statement: to guide and mentor you on your journey to being the absolute best you can be in athletics and life, using the lessons learned from champions. Having stated that, my purpose and vision are crystal-clear as I embark upon this project’s path to completion.
So it is with you, whether you are building a career in sport, building a house, or building a family. Being a champion, you need to begin with a simple, definitive mission statement before you take the first step on your long journey. As an athlete, you might consider, as your mission, to be the best you can be. From here, your purpose is to find out from the experts all the things you need to know and do to make this happen. Then you create the images and vision of yourself accomplishing goals and feeling what it might be like to achieve your full potential. This could be a national championship, an all-American, an age-group winner in your sport, a great parent, or a terrific architect and builder of homes.
From a simple mission statement, you learn how to plan the work, then work the plan. Schools and universities do this all the time. For example, most institutions of higher learning have as their mission to educate students intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Knowing this, they can begin to develop a curriculum that will attempt to fulfill the mission.
For you, be a champion now by zeroing in on your mission in sports and/or life at this point in time. Start by filling in the statement: “In my sport/life, I am on a mission to ______.” The blank is filled in with a specific higher type of goal. For example, you wouldn’t say you are on a mission to win the national championship or write a book. That may be a good vision, but your mission, or specific goal, is to find ways to be the best you can be, like lift weights three times a week or write two pages every day. From this, the championship or book becomes a more plausible reality.
There’s a fine line between missions, goals, and visions, but try to remember this: A mission statement is an umbrella concept, a simple statement that subsumes numerous goals and tasks. Your mission should help you to formulate goals to identify tasks that, when accomplished, should fulfill the mission. Mission statements are your foundations that help you build castles in the sky. For example, from working with the University of California Santa Cruz men’s soccer program, I know that their mission is to use soccer to guide and foster the physical, emotional, and spiritual development of the players. Although winning games is not the foundational emphasis of his program, the head coach, my friend Paul Holocher, is confident that this approach will produce wins as a natural byproduct of the actualization of the mission. From their mission, they have developed a moral code to live by and a plan to elevate their game of soccer. After only six years, Paul’s team was ranked third in the nation, playing in the NCAA Championship game, in what was supposed to be a rebuilding year. All this was the result of following their strong, meaningful mission statement.
SENDING YOUR MESSAGE
ALL ATHLETES, upon entering the arena of competition, send a clear, distinct message to their opponents. Champions are aware of this, while most others are not. In fact, when you enter any arena, others will pick up on your message, and what they see will usually determine the way they respond, how they play, and what they do; as a result, your message will impact the results of that event. Knowing this, champions do all they can to control this message, making sure they send one that works for, not against, them. I have had athletes tell me that they will look in the opponents’ eyes, and what they see determines the outcome. It has been said, as you may know, that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Athletes have been known to see fear, confidence, tentativeness, intimidation, calm, and other performance-related traits in others. If this is so—and my experience working with champions tells me it is—then what are you doing to make sure you send your best message, whether in sport, at work, or at home?
Let me give you an example that relates to my professional work as a keynote speaker. Before I enter the “arena,” I decide what message I wish to send. I want them to know that I am caring, concerned, passionate, and enthusiastic about my reasons for being there. Once I am aware of this, I decide what it will take—what I need to do—to get that message across. For example, I need to make eye contact, move about the room, be energetic, be connected with and “feel” my material, be myself, be sincere yet funny, and be sure to display natural emotions arising from the situations at hand. When I do all of this, the audience receives the message and appreciates my approach. The outcome is determined before I walk out on stage.
Here is an exercise that Sun-Tzu would find useful, given his words in the opening quote about “prior analysis.” Before you enter your next arena of performance—a field, court, boardroom, office, classroom, or home—empower yourself by asking and answering these questions:
1. What message do you want to send? The message can be about what they can expect from this contest—that you are a handful to contend with—or it can be that you are in charge, on top of things, ready to go all-out, or simply something like, “I care” or “I’m good.”
2. Having done that, what four things, strategies, actions, or behaviors do you need to do that will assure you that your message is both sent and received? Put these into affirmations on 3 x 5 index cards by writing: “When I ______, I demonstrate my seriousness about sending the message.” Carry them with you and recite them often prior to the event. Feel the calm and confidence as a result of taking charge.
RAISING THE BAR
CHAMPIONS NEVER ASK whether or not it’s possible to raise the bar on their performance, and neither should you. The question they ask is: How is it possible; what do I need to do? So should you.
Know, however, that to discover the possibilities that are available, you must absolutely move out of your comfort zone. Be prepared, as a champion like Lance Armstrong would be, to suffer and sacrifice along the way. Raising the bar in any aspect of your sport, business, or family life demands that you take on adversity in order to experience great expansion, joy, and fulfillment. We tend to be creatures of comfort, and we easily become smitten with who we are and what we’ve achieved. Still, it is widely accepted that most athletes rarely achieve more than 18 percent of their full human potential.
To raise the bar on who and where you are, and to get a sense of purpose and vision (individual or team), follow the lessons of champions that remind you to focus away from results and more on the process. Focusing on results creates anxiety, stress, and a good deal of tension. Focusing on the process allows you to relax and feel confident in what you can do. To help you to better focus on the process, follow these steps:
1. What are three specific things you could do that you aren’t doing now, which if done, would definitely contribute to personal (or team) improvement immediately? For example, in basketball, sprint your lanes, dive on the 50/ 50 ball, and crash the boards. In life, maybe it’s meditate each day, exercise for thirty minutes four times per week, and drink eight glasses of water daily. You decide.
2. Write out a contract with yourself: “I commit to (fill in blank) in order to raise the bar as a performer in sport and life.” Sign it, and be sure to read it every day or prior to entering the arena of performance.
3. Take a few minutes, after you have read your contract, to relax by taking three or four deep breaths, then visualize yourself performing these tasks. Feel the feeling you get when you do good things like this.
Think about how you want to raise the bar in other arenas of life, and follow the same format. It works; it’s simple, yet it requires attention to detail.
ZERO REGRETS
WHEN I WORK with champions, they remind me that having regrets is not an option. While it is impossible to eliminate all regrets from your life, the champions teach that regrets can be monitored and greatly reduced or controlled. Over the years, I have developed a method that I have used with hundreds of athletes to help them gain greater control over these demons. The exercise is called “Zero Regrets” and can be used for any path, be it athletic, professional, or personal. This exercise, once again, asks that your focus be more on the process or the journey than the destination.
1. Imagine that it is now six months (or any other significant time frame) down the road, and you are looking back on your season, your work, your fitness program. Using your past experience as a guide, what five regrets could you have at that time? Some say: not giving it my all, not seeing the signs of failure, not being consistent, not lifting weights, not running, not eating healthily, disregarding mental training, and so on.
2. Once your list is created, answer this: What five or more actions or behaviors could I perform that, if successful, would eliminate the chances of having those regrets? These are specific, tangible tasks to be performed, such as: lift weights three times a week for two hours a session, to prevent the regret of being weak in the upper body.
3. Having stated these tasks, take those you are certain to commit to, and begin to create a daily and/or weekly schedule of activity that will guide you to consistent effort.
I have used this exercise with teams when they go to a big tournament or final four. I ask them to imagine it’s over, it’s Monday morning, and to list the regrets that they could have at that time. Then I ask them to commit to certain activities, tasks, or behaviors that will help eliminate the regrets. This is a powerful refocusing tool usable in many of life’s circumstances. Next time you are about to go on vacation, go through the steps and discover how much more fun you will have if you avoid regrets in advance. This will give you a deeper sense of purpose and vision.
OBSESSION WITH WINNING
CHAMPIONS TEACH US that when your sole purpose and vision in sport is about winning, you generally come up short. I alluded to the meaning of winning in the introduction to this book, yet feel a need to elaborate upon it here in lessons on purpose and vision.
I remember clearly the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, when Michelle Kwan seemed obsessed about winning gold in ice skating. Having failed to accomplish the feat four years before, she must have felt enormous pressure to win, and she was the overwhelming favorite. However, young Sarah Hughes, who simply showed up to skate her best, having little or no chance to win, skated brilliantly to a gold medal. Her purpose and vision was to skate well, have fun, and enjoy the experience... perhaps even have a top-three finish. When one’s only purpose is to win, the tightness, tension, and anxiety seem to build up, hampering one’s best efforts. An old Zen saying teaches us: “When the archer shoots for the love of shooting, he has all the skill; when he shoots for gold, he goes blind.”
In his classic work, The Zen of Running, Fred Rohé eloquently states, “There are no victories except the joy you are living while dancing your run, you are not running for some future reward—the real reward is now!” The modern Olympic games motto, The goal is not to win, but to take part, tells us that the essence of participating is not conquering but competing well. By so doing, you embrace victory as a path without a destination, and, as stated by Cervantes’ Don Quixote, the journey is better than the inn.
Can you remember a time when you were a winner, even if the results didn’t acknowledge it? I finished 143 rd out of 310 runners at the Stanford Invitational cross-country race. By most participants’ standards, this was not considered a winning performance. For me, however, it was a major victory because I ran my fastest time for the distance and did it against some of the best collegiate athletes in the United States—all of whom were twenty or more years younger than I. It was an inner, personal triumph, one most could not see. When the process itself is fulfilling and you win in the moment, victory is always the experience; external results are ephemeral, while internal victories last a lifetime.
We are a society obsessed with winning. This obsession has led us to forget about the important inner values and virtues of partaking in the activity. Although winning is important for many reasons, it should not be an end in itself. If you believe “you don’t win silver, you lose gold,” you will create layers of tension, anxiety, and stress that will contribute unfavorably to the outcome. When stressed about the outcomes, your body is unable to move with the fluidity or flow that’s so necessary for a winning performance. But as you probably know, even confirmed champions can perform like non-champions. It’s easy to get distracted from the important reasons for competing and get off track, but the true champion finds the way back. Olympian and world champion Regina Jacobs is able to find her way back by using an affirmation prior to her 1500 -meter races. To relax and focus on the process, Regina reminds herself: “I may or may not win, but I am a world champion and choose to run like one.” She takes a few minutes before the race to motivate herself, visualize her performance, and feel relaxed, smooth, and strong as she chooses to compete like a champion.
Think about this: When one eye is on winning or outcomes, there’s only one left to focus on the moment. Tell yourself this truth: Your greatest tri-umphs are always the byproducts of your ability to demonstrate the level you have attained in anything you do. You do this by focusing on the moment, the experience itself, rather than by trying to control the outcome or results.
Finally, it’s important to know that in your performance preparation, it’s not only okay, it’s healthy to visualize winning (against the clock, against an opponent, or for a certain place in the finish), but not to the exclusion of seeing the process unfold as it should. However, when you actually show up at the event, do so to simply perform your best for that day. Remember that wanting to win and needing to win are very different attitudes toward competing. The former is healthy, the latter is destructive.
Now, take four deep breaths, and, in a relaxed state with eyes closed, visualize the following:
Imagine pushing yourself to performing the best you can.
DETACHMENT AND JOY
WHAT DISCUSSION on purpose and vision is complete without talking about the Zen and Tao notion of detachment, accompanied by the joy and fun of participation? The truth is, when we all started out as little boys and girls in sports and life, outcomes had little meaning, and simply being involved was the greatest joy. Many of us as adults lose touch with these concepts and forget that the real purpose of participation is to experience joy and fun. And by “fun,” I mean those situations during practice, at a game, or at the office when I feel elated from the execution of a well-thought-out plan, as opposed to a “fooling around” kind of fun, which has its place. But certainly, champions do have fun and keep their perspective by detaching themselves from outcomes or results. If you are not attached to happiness, you usually can achieve it. Detaching from possessions is a freeing sensation. Janis Joplin told us that “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” Our greatest successes are usually the byproducts of our most joyful processes. We seem to be much more effective when we open ourselves to the extraordinary power of detachment. Champions have taught me that, although it’s fun to achieve, the greatest joy is to find meaning in the experience of achieving.
I am not suggesting that you detach from results completely. Consider simply detaching your ego from results, whether in victory or defeat. For example, do all the right little things to put yourself in position to win, yet do not measure your self-worth based on negative outcomes and results. On the flip side, do not inflate your self-worth when victorious. You win or lose... but you are not a winner or loser. I love to win, champions love to win. Yet once the outcomes arrive, I must feel good in victory or learn in defeat and go on. I refuse to wear a button that claims I am either a winner or loser. The Chinese calligraphic symbol for detachment tells us to cart off old skins and emerge free from physical and mental confinement. Do not let attachments to outcomes diminish your strength or temporarily bolster your ego; you need not become a victim of circumstances. Great champions know that both winning and losing are, as products, ephemeral. The process, how you compete and work the plan, is lifelong. They achieve happiness in this way.
LESSONS AS AFFIRMATIONS
With my mission statement, I plan my path to greatness.
Before I enter an arena of performance, I become clear about the message I want to send, and do what it takes to make sure it is received.
I am not afraid to go beyond my comfort zone to raise the bar.
Adversity and suffering help me to experience self-growth and joy.
I am aware of potential regrets and do all I can to prevent their occurrence.
I may or may not win, but I compete and act like a champion.
The greatest victories are those you achieve in the process of competing well.
I love to win yet refuse to measure my worth by an outcome or result.
Winning and losing are short-lived. The experience of playing lasts a lifetime.
QUESTIONS ON THE QUEST:
What things do you love the best about your life as an athlete, a professional, a home manager, a parent?
What percentage of your time do you experience these satisfactions?
How can you increase this percentage? What can be done?
What specific things would help you to live more joyfully and feel joyful and productive more often at work, at home, and on the court?