9. Lessons on Opposites
All existence is circular, a Yin-Yang process where black and white become richly gray.
Deng Ming-Dao, Tao Wisdom
CHAMPIONS, characteristically, are quite good at thinking outside the box. Yet most of society teaches that when a choice between two opposing forces exists, there is a strong gravitational pull toward one or the other. Western minds are conditioned to be dualistic; we are most comfortable amid contrasts and distinctions. For example, you are either a champion or a novice, beautiful or ugly, simple or complex, sharp or dull. The Tao, however, makes no distinction. Something is not yin or yang... it is both simultaneously. Bamboo, once again, is powerful and delicate, soft yet hard. The mentor-teacher is a student, yet the student teaches the teacher how to do the job well.
In athletics, grasping this subtle paradox can strengthen your competitive edge. A champion is a beginner, open to discovering just how great he or she can be. A champion is both a winner and a loser, as you clearly read in “The Success of Failure,” in Chapter 7 . Understanding these paradoxical mysteries helps you to develop greater strength and higher levels of participation in athletics.
For example, if you are too yang, that is, too focused on outcome and results, you can become nervous, tense, anxious, and stressed. This leads to mistakes, setbacks, and possible illness and injury, because you refuse to listen to what nature is saying. If you are too yin, that is passive or self-conscious, you can become timid and nonassertive. This can result in being hesitant and unfulfilled, failing to reach the vast boundaries of your potential.
When you integrate these seemingly conflicting forces, you experience a balancing of the yin and yang currents that will keep you aligned and in harmony with the true natural way of sports. By so doing, you learn to develop the right timing and become more willing to let the “game” come to you, let it evolve at its own pace and tempo. In this consciousness, there is a place for both aggression and passivity, speed and slowing down. The champion athlete understands this need to neutralize the duality, and uses it to gain the advantage in all competitive arenas.
You are about to see how slowing down can help you to arrive sooner, how soft is strong, how less is more, how the body thinks and the mind dances, how effort can be effortless, and how you can have limits yet go beyond. As you recall, when you lose, you actually win. Here we go.
SLOWER IS FASTER
CAN YOU IMAGINE viewing beautiful flowers while racing downhill on your mountain bike? Most of life’s situations demand that you try to match your speed to the task at hand. Our lives have become so used to a fast pace that the thought of slowing down is frightening. My twenty-year-old son wants me to spend an excessive amount of money on a new computer system that will save me thirty-five seconds each time I go online. It’s not good enough that my six-year-old dinosaur retrieves the same amount of data in one minute that would have taken my father one week to gather.
Being a champion means having the patience to allow change, growth, and improvement to take place when they are supposed to, not when we think they should. The Tao encourages a calm observation of the natural unfolding of events. Most of your potential usually blossoms in a gradual way. Patience, according to Lao-Tzu, is the ability to accept the slow flow of the journey.
John Wooden, wise and thoughtful coach of champions, advises us to avoid looking for quick improvement. When you improve a little each day, big things eventually occur. That’s the only way it happens, and because of this, it lasts.
When I was training as a distance runner in Boulder, Colorado, I wanted to accelerate my growth as a national-class athlete. To do so, I worked out three times a day, seven days a week. After four consecutive months of this lunacy, my body finally gave out, and I became both physically and mentally fried. I withdrew from my sport for six months and proceeded to sink into the abyss. Once I recovered, it took a full year to match my former level of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical fitness. That eighteen months taught me that I needed to enter into a new time zone: slow down in order to speed up. I learned how to listen to the messages of my body and mind about fatigue, soreness, tightness, pain, lack of motivation or enthusiasm, and loss of confidence and focus. Today, I must remind myself that through the inner qualities of consistent, deliberate, steady, slow movement, the tortoise arrives sooner than the quicker yet more sporadic, inconsistent hare.
Sun-Tzu, in The Art of War, advises that you notice the natural flow of events and then act accordingly. This requires constant vigilance as you monitor your progress with regard to levels of energy, fatigue, soreness, staleness, slumps, plateaus, spurts, enthusiasm, and burnout. Too much, too soon, that familiar “hurry up” sickness, invariably leads to injury, illness, burnout, or depression—nature’s way of telling you to slow down, reevaluate, and take a break. This is the Way of the Champion.
NOT DOING IS DOING
Success is often gained by not doing battle, the strategy is as much in knowing what not to do as it is in knowing what to do.
HERE IS THE ART of not doing, where the Tao wisdom helps us to understand that “less is more.” The Way of the Champion encourages you to engage in battle when others are vulnerable, and to not attack when you are. From this, the champion realizes the vulnerability of overdoing and when to be moderate.
The temptation to overdo in sports and life is very enticing and attractive. However, all that you gain from being excessive is drastically offset by the accumulation of tightness, tension, stress, unbalance, and fatigue, creating a debt that needs to be paid back by taking time off to rest, or you will eventually pay the price of failure, setbacks, and burnout.
Mike, a conscientious runner, has been at it for twenty years with the single-minded goal (which is now his obsession) of breaking three hours in the marathon. He has run every day at a good clip, with weekly long jaunts of eighteen or more miles. He has run a best of 3: 08, a frustratingly “close but no cigar” performance. Recently, I suggested he consider a more moderate program of fifty to sixty miles a week, rather than his usual seventy-five miles, with a long run every fourteen days. He now takes one day a week off and pushes the pace on only two runs in a seven-day period. He is now convinced that not doing so much is, indeed, actually doing more, because he recently ran a personal best of 2: 57 on a difficult course.
Many who train their bodies diligently are beginning to realize that not only are there spiritual and psychological advantages to not doing so much, but some important physiological benefits as well. For example, try to run, swim, bike, or walk every other day, rather than seven days a week, and give your body and mind a chance to recuperate. You can begin to use the “stress then rest” maxim for conditioning, alternating workout days with total days off in between. If you are constantly fatigued and your overall performance is down, try reducing your workout time each day and notice the improvement.
An accomplished jazz musician once told me that truly good music is the result of the space between notes. The pause makes it what it is. Musical pauses are not a lack of action; they are an integral part of the action. So it is with your training and work schedule. Getting in good shape, being at your best regardless of your sport or career, is the result of the rest (pause) or space between the intervals of work. Your cellular structure is fragile and requires periods of rest. Like a champion, you need to learn how to “fondle” your body into shape, as opposed to excessively forcing or pushing it there.
One may argue that to be world-class in any walk of life, there is no room for moderation. Many believe that you excel with excess. Hordes of athletes devote every waking hour to training. Corporate executives are known for devoting sixty to seventy hours per week to furthering their career. They may win gold or get the contract promotion, but they also run the risk of losing on other fronts. For example, young tennis stars, dynamic skaters, and gymnasts often become unbalanced in their approach. They skip school, opting for correspondence courses so they can eat, drink, and sleep their obsession. Theirs becomes an artificial existence, an emotional wasteland of excess, far away from the crucial natural maturation process of adolescence. Few of these young athletes go on to succeed; many more wind up wasting their lives. Even for those who do well, success takes its toll in so many other ways.
In a recent Olympiad, a U.S. gold medalist in swimming was asked, “Where do you go from here?” “Far away from pools” was the instant response. He proceeded to relate how much he had sacrificed on his road to fame and intimated that it might not have been worth it. He complained about the lack of moderation and balance in his life. He craved “not doing” any workouts.
In sport, as in other arenas of life, your mind will tell your body to do more than it can handle, but your body and health will have the final say. The Tao Te Ching ’s wisdom helps to override this tendency through moderation. The Chinese calligraphic symbols for moderation point to the middle, thus preventing excess while neutralizing opposites: “Less is more.”
LITTLE IS LARGE
THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL SAYING that helps me to focus on what is important in my athletic and personal life: “From little streams come large rivers.” This Zenlike phrase echoes the sentiments of coach John Wooden: “Over the years I have become convinced that attention to little details makes the difference between champions and near champions.” He talks about concentrating on all those little things that make you play well, as opposed to focusing on the score or stats. And when you do, whether in sports or life, good things happen. For example, an athlete told me he was so fixated on demonstrating the little things, that he didn’t realize his basketball team was about to blow out the opponent by twenty-five points.
The following is an excerpt from an e-mail communication between a collegiate basketball athlete and myself over her concerns with results, points, and outcomes, to the exclusion of the little things: Vicki, on game day, meditate in the morning if possible. Continue to visualize and feel yourself doing the little things. Play, over and over in your head, your ‘highlight mind movie’... i.e., clips of when you play your best. Go into the game NOT to score (sounds to me like you still do that) but to demonstrate all the little skills and tactics you KNOW you can control. Concentrate ONLY on doing good things... shoot when it’s there but stop trying to get points, assists, etc. Stay connected to being brave, courageous, and deliberate, as well as to why you love the GAME and forget about your coach, Dad, me, or teammates... OK?”
Her response: “Hey, Jerry, how are you doing? This past week I had some great practices and we played on Saturday and I had a great game, I felt like my old self again, and more importantly, I was having fun. Even my friends and family who were at the game said it looked like I was having fun out there again. Thanks for the advice. It really is all about the little things, isn’t it?”
Yes, Vicki, not only for you, but for all of us other performers on any of life’s stages as well. In fact, I observe that the strong consistent performance of the little things outdoes brilliant tactics performed occasionally and marginally. Coaches continue to inform me that the greatest obstacle to the team’s success is their consistent refusal to do the little things. To help you address this notion of little streams to big rivers, answer this question: What are the five to ten little things about your game, work, or home that, if attended to and performed consistently, would make you feel happy and successful at what you do? Write these little things on an index card and read it as an affirmation each day: “When I (fill in the blank with these items), I create many opportunities to experience success, regardless of the outcome.”
OPPONENTS ARE PARTNERS
IN THE BEGINNING of the book, I emphasized the importance of knowing your opponents in order to gain the advantage for potential victory against them. There is another, deeper, more evolved notion that relates to knowing your opponents as partners in a relationship of cooperation. It becomes a partnership of offering each other the best you’ve got, to help bring out the best in each other.
Consider that the word “competition” comes from a Latin root meaning “to seek together.” When I view my relationship with opponents as a partnership, I offer my absolutely strongest attack, giving them the opportunity to respond and bring their best to the table. Anything short of my fiercest blow is a sign of my disrespect, and I cease to be, in Zen terminology, a “worthy opponent.”
I remember competing in a national 15k cross-country championship race in Houston, Texas. Many of the runners were talking about the ways they could defeat their closest rivals. They alluded to the killer instinct and how important it was to compete well. When I approached the pre-race favorite, I proceeded to shock him by saying, “I hope you have a great race.” Confused by the words, the favorite inquired as to why I felt that way. I told him, “The better you run, the better I will, too.” The favorite did win the race, and I claimed third, running my fastest time for the distance—and, in the process, pushing the winner to one of his greatest victories.
I was simply being a “worthy opponent,” helping the opposition to do well and running my best because of him. Because of this, our relationship grew stronger in many ways. Through his subsequent encouragement and kind words, I reached levels I never thought were possible. We both got to know each other, our strengths and weaknesses, and used this information to race at higher levels together. I loved this opponent; why do so many of us waste emotional and physical energy hating those we compete against? Why focus on their demise? It may seem to help, but in the long run, the champion knows this approach is counterproductive, because anger, hate, and force diminish your concentration, dilute your energy, and lead to your downfall.
Remember, change your mind-set now: View all athletic and business competitors as partners who, because of their outstanding work and performance, help you to understand yourself more fully and challenge you to step up and demonstrate your best. Begin to experience the powerful connection and relationship with your opponent in the world of competitive athletics and life. For example, on your next training bike ride, see your group as a partnership. The better they ride, the better you will ultimately be. Feel the advantages in athletics and business of working together, with synergistic competition providing a surplus of energy for positive performance. Know your opposition in this new, refreshing way, not only as a competitor, but as a partner as well.
SOFT IS STRONG
YOU WOULD THINK that a soft muscle is not strong, yet as with other paradoxes, the opposite is true. Try doing three push-ups and make your arms tight and hard as you proceed. Take a minute break, make your muscles soft yet firm, and repeat the process. The second set was probably easier.
The next time you pump iron, don’t try hard. Relax your muscles, take a deep breath, and gradually lift the weights in a soft yet firm manner. Notice the difference?
Running up hills is no different. My twelve-year-old was running his first cross-country race. I was standing at the bottom of the racecourse’s only hill, and as he went by me in fifth place, I shouted, “Bren, relax your shoulders and soften your eyes.” (We had talked about this strategy during his warmup.) He passed all runners on that hill and maintained his lead for a victory in his inaugural race.
Champions realize that a “softer” 90 percent effort sometimes produces better, faster, stronger results than trying to give it your all. Years ago, champion track coach Bud Winter from San José State University would get his Stallions runners to go faster by having them relax and make their bodies soft. By running at 90 percent effort, Olympians John Carlos and Tommy Smith became the anchors for what became known as “Speed City.” You need to relax in order to max, so to speak. Gritting your teeth and squeezing your hands creates tense muscles and inhibits performance. The Art of War reminds you that the calm, reserved, relaxed performer is the one who wins, all things being somewhat equal.
Here is a thought: As you age, teeth, which are hard, become brittle and break; tongues, which are soft, last. Throw hard pasta against the wall and watch it shatter. Cook it, make it soft, and notice how it clings when thrown against that same wall. Look for ways to “soften” your approach and be stronger in any arena of life.
EFFORT IS EFFORTLESS
Follow the path of least resistance if you want to be victorious.
AS WITH the above paradoxes and opposites, here is a concept diametrically opposed to everything you have learned about competitive athletics and achievement in all of life: The way to achieve triumph more effectively is through tactical strategies that eliminate or minimize conflict and resistance. This ancient wisdom is the essence of The Art of War. It is considered the art of effortless effort.
For example, when you make an effort to descend a rocky trail on a mountain bike, you try to pick the best “line”—the one that offers the least resistance, the least amount of effort. It is not always the shortest distance between two points, but it is the one that gets you to the bottom safely, quickly, and with the least amount of trouble, resistance, or conflict. It is an approach that requires you to apply much less effort and to yield to the forces in nature, rather than become rigid and self-destruct on the trail. In Chinese, this effortless effort paradox is called wuwei, meaning “do not do that which is not natural.” It is not natural to push, force, or fight the flow. Blend effortlessly with all force as your effort becomes effortless.
In sport, the champion adopts this principle and knows that rigidity sets in when you give an all-out effort. When you want to go faster or climb stronger, don’t force it to happen. Relax and focus your effort on the execution of fluid, technically correct movement. Less effort creates more output. For example, let’s say that you are trying to ride a steep hill. Rather than apply forceful effort, imagine that you glide up rather than push yourself up, using imaginary helium balloons on your shoulders that gently help you to float to the top.
When you feel yourself trying to do well in an event, focus on the joy and excitement of what you’re doing, on the process of how you can perform well in the moment. Push less for results, and notice how things go more smoothly. Tell yourself that you’re working or competing to enjoy the execution of a well-thought-out plan; don’t perseverate on the outcome. You practically have to “not care” yet not be totally careless in the delicate balance of effortless effort. Martial artists have understood for centuries that the less effort you exert, the more proficient you will become in all that you do.
Let me remind you that a fish wisely swims downstream, taking the most effortless way. Seek the path of least resistance and you gain the edge.
INSIDE IS OUTSIDE
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT , all that happens to you externally seems to be a mere reflection of what’s at work internally. Therefore, we have the paradox: What’s going on inside is really what is happening outside. According to the Tao, all that begins within creates the “ripple effect,” stretching outward, touching all things in its wake. How does this concept impact you in a practical way?
As a champion in athletics or life, the more you feel inwardly successful, having a handle on self-doubt and possessing a strong sense of self, the less need you have to succeed externally. The less need you feel to succeed externally, the less you will experience stress, tension, and anxiety. The less stress, tension, and anxiety you have about having to win or achieve, the more relaxed and focused you become and, under these conditions, the more successful you become externally. What I notice about all champions is that when inner peace and high self-esteem are part of their journey, they consistently perform at the peak of their abilities. Good stuff within creates similar good stuff externally, and vice versa. Inside is truly outside. All greatness, wellness, and success start within.
BODY THINKING, MIND DANCING
OR IS IT THE OPPOSITE? The body dances and the mind thinks. Here is yet another paradox that makes you stop short in your tracks and say... this can’t be. But can it?
In this closing of the chapter, I briefly want to tell you about my best-selling book, with Chungliang Al Huang, Thinking Body, Dancing Mind, in which I never once talked about the meaning of this provocative title. It is a nice way to demonstrate the lesson on opposites.
First of all, as an athlete, your training in sport has allowed your body to develop muscle memory or innate intelligence as a result of the consistent repetition of familiar motions, actions, and skills. This is the “thinking body,” the body that responds instinctively to a variety of physical circumstances. Shooting a basketball involves numerous specific mechanical muscle responses. The body “knows” how to execute a shot without the mind thinking about how it is done. The mind, on the other hand, dances with this body’s knowledge when it refrains from judgment or criticism and the result is one of harmonious interaction. Sometimes, the mind will think “Oh, no, I’m hurting,” or “I stink,” or “I can’t,” or “I’m not deserving of...” In this way, the critical, negative mind sabotages everything that the body tries to do from its knowledge base, and rather than dance, it begins to think too much.
The champion, without question, practices the thinking body, dancing mind approach. The champion who does this successfully has the competitive advantage. You can practice this approach by using positive self-talk and visualizing yourself playing your sport as you know how... trusting your body. Such talk and images will keep you on track.
LESSONS AS AFFIRMATIONS
I demonstrate consistent, deliberate, steady movement yet arrive just in time.
I listen to the messages of my body and mind, and make adjustments accordingly.
I look for times when less is more. Moderation is the key.
My opponent is my partner as we seek together our individual greatness.
Aware that soft is strong, I can’t go wrong.
I make less effort and gain more. I follow the path of least resistance.
Do not do that which is not natural. Go with the flow.
I let my mind dance with my thinking body.
QUESTIONS ON THE QUEST:
Under what circumstances in athletics, business, or life would less be more for you?
When, for you, in sports, business, and personal relationships, is soft actually strong?
In what specific ways do you sabotage your body’s wisdom?
What specific things do you need to do in your game, work environment, or home life in order to go with the flow?
What three actions can you take to demonstrate healthy moderation as a champion?