Chapter 12

 

When Dorian returned to the pub alone, Becky couldn’t help but ask, “Where’s Kelley?”

At her question, Crispin flinched but forced himself to bite back his unsavoury comment. Always Kelley… Why wasn’t he ever enough?

“He went out for some air,” Dorian said, sharing a knowing glance with Crispin before sliding into the seat across from them.

“Oh…” Becky said pensively. She couldn’t help but feel slightly abandoned. Of course, she had no reason to feel that way since Crispin was being so unusually sweet to her. Now Dorian was with her too. Yet the truth was, who she really wanted to have close was Kelley.

“We’ll be just fine on our own for a little while, won’t we, Becky?” Crispin said, leaning into her, reminding her of his presence.

“Yes, of course, we will,” she said with a brave smile.

Sure enough, Becky soon realized that she was in very good company. Oddly enough, it wasn’t Dorian who comforted her the most, it was Crispin. The normally aloof Goth stuck to her like glue. It was as though he sensed her need to not be left alone.

When they went upstairs, and Dorian explained apologetically about the one room, Becky quickly put his mind at ease. “It’s no problem,” she said to the very relieved Steampunk. “We share a house already. I can’t see why we can’t share a hotel room.” She really couldn’t understand why they’d been so concerned. In fact, she much preferred to be all together, rather than have a room to herself. Given the circumstances, being alone was the last thing she wanted.

“This is all right, isn’t it?” Crispin asked, concerned, raking his hand through his long wavy hair. “You’ll have your very own bed and everything.”

Becky looked from him to the two double beds. “All three of you won’t fit on one bed, will you?” she said matter of factly. Although they were slim, they were quite tall and lanky, and in the hotel room, they seemed to take up a lot of space.

“We’ll figure it out,” Crispin said with an unpleasant expression on his otherwise handsome face. No, he was certainly not looking forward to sleeping shoulder to shoulder with Dorian and Kelley, but what other alternative was there?

“One of you could share my bed,” Becky offered without hesitation.

Hearing her, Dorian nearly fell over himself, while Crispin simply stared blankly at her, turning an ungodly shade of pale. She frowned slightly at their odd reaction to her suggestion.

“Honestly, you two can be quite silly sometimes,” she said, unzipping her suitcase, taking her pyjamas and toiletries into the bathroom.

“She can’t be serious,” Dorian whispered, looking from Crispin to the beds. “Can she really be that naive?”

“Oh, I think she is very serious and extremely naive,” Crispin said with an indulgent smile.

“How is it possible that she is so trusting? Or are we the idiots here?” Dorian asked. “Perhaps she’d be into…”

Crispin instantly scowled at Dorian’s suggestion. “Get that filthy idea out of your head, man. The girl is a complete innocent. She’s obviously led a very sheltered life until now. I intend to keep it that way.”

Dorian couldn’t help but smile at Crispin’s sudden protective attitude towards Becky. “Hmm, here I thought you didn’t even like her.”

Crispin sputtered in response. “How could I not like the little dormouse? I’d have to be a cold-blooded bastard. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t right about not wanting to let her into our lives in the first place. Mark my words, she’ll be the end of us yet.”

“How incredibly cryptic,” Dorian snickered. “Sometimes, Crisp, you make no sense at all.”

“We’ll see.”

 

***

 

“You two don’t have to stick around here all night just because of me,” Becky said, crawling into the bed closest to the bathroom. Although she was tired and in need of sleep, it was still rather early in the evening. Surely, the guys would rather be out at some spooky nightclub, Gothing it up with their peers. Probably, that’s where Kelley was now. He obviously hadn’t concerned himself with leaving her behind. Why should they?

“Nonsense,” Crispin said, sitting up stiffly on the other bed, trying very hard not to comment on her insistence on wearing those incredibly annoying if not disturbingly adorable pyjamas. Who had the bigger cheeks, he wondered to himself. That dreadful cartoonish cat or the cherubic girl, staring up at him from her pillow.

“Really,” she insisted sleepily. “You guys should go out. Go meet some nice Goth girls.”

“Perhaps she’s right,” Dorian said, peering down at her. “I certainly wouldn’t mind hooking up with some local chicks, considering the slim pickings in Kingston.”

“Be my guest,” Crispin said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “If perchance you get lucky enough, I may even get this bed all to myself tonight.”

“You forget that Kell will be back soon,” Dorian warned.

Crispin shrugged unbothered. “He’s probably found himself other lodgings as well. It’s not like Kell to have problems charming the ladies.”

Pretending to sleep, Becky heard everything they said. She couldn’t help but be hurt by the idea that Kelley would so easily choose to be with some random girl rather than be there with her. Especially tonight, when she needed him most. Then again, why would he choose to be with her? He didn’t owe her anything. The fact that he’d been kind enough to offer to drive her to Toronto should be good enough. That he’d been there for her that afternoon was more than she could ask for.

Why then, couldn’t she get the memory of his near kiss at her locker the other day out of her mind? The way he’d pressed himself up against her, his warm breath in her ear. The lovely weight of his body smashed up against hers. Restless, Becky turned over onto her side.

 

***

 

It had gotten suddenly very quiet and dark in the room. Perhaps the guys had left while she dozed. She hadn’t even realized that she had fallen asleep. Curious, she opened one eye, only to find Crispin sitting in the very same position as before, staring at her in the dark.

“What are you doing?” she asked groggily. She must have dozed off since she realized that Dorian had indeed gone out, leaving the two of them alone.

“What do you mean?” he asked, shuffling uncomfortably, pretending to dust himself off. Damn, he hadn’t realized he’d been sitting there staring at her the whole time. He couldn’t help himself. The girl captivated him. He’d watched her stir in and out of consciousness, mumbling incoherently. The poor little thing had even cried in her sleep. He didn’t know whether to comfort her, wake her, or let it pass. In the end, he’d chosen to watch over her in stoic silence.

“You were staring at me,” she accused, tucking her nose under the sheets so that only her eyes and that mop of brown hair was left visible.

He got up and leaned over her. With his fingers, he tucked an unruly lock of hair behind her ear and wiped away a stray tear from her cheek. “I was merely concerned for you,” he whispered, watching her fade into unconsciousness once again.

Some time later, Becky woke up in a cold sweat, having dreamt of Granny’s upcoming funeral. The distant sound of street life and the much nearer sound of Crispin’s even breathing brought her back down to earth. Checking the time, she realized that it was nearly 2 AM. Looking around the room, she noticed that neither Dorian nor Kelley had yet returned. Seeing Crispin asleep on the bed beside hers, she quietly got up to use the bathroom. On her way back to bed, she paused to glance out the window into the dark city streets. The sight made her feel even lonelier and more vulnerable, realizing how frightful and desolate the world could be when you were on your own.

Sensing movement in the room, Crispin reluctantly stirred awake. He opened his eyes and languidly turned to see Becky poking her head out the curtains. The light from the street lamps lit up her curvy little form through the flimsy material of her pyjamas. He could literally see the goosebumps on her skin.

“Becky, get back to bed,” he grumbled guiltily. What was wrong with him? He shouldn’t be staring at her like that.

Hearing his voice, Becky turned and tiptoed back to her bed, pausing to place a hand on his cheek. “Sorry, sweet Crispin. Go back to sleep.”

If that weren’t bad enough, she leaned in and placed a little kiss on his forehead.

 

***

 

When Becky next woke up, she found herself swaddled within a pair of strong arms. Right away she knew without opening her eyes in who’s chest she had her nose buried. His unmistakable scent surrounded her and comforted her. “Kelley…” she murmured drowsily, relieved that he’d come back to her.

“Sh…” he whispered. “Go back to sleep, love.” Ignoring Crispin’s disapproving glare from the other bed he shared with Dorian, Kelley closed his eyes to the outside world. All he knew was that he’d wandered the streets long enough trying to forget her. In the end, all streets led him right back to her. His sweet little Becky. So what if it was wrong to lust after his naive little housemate? His lust for her, he could control. It was his heart that he could not.

So what if they couldn’t be together in the romantic sense? It was hard to describe, this relationship of theirs. Be it what it may, though, he would be there for her in any way she needed him.

Obviously, she had needed him last night. He’d realized that the moment he and Dorian returned from the nightclub, to find Becky sobbing in her sleep.

It had broken his heart to see her dejected little form, so small and vulnerable in that big old bed. Ignoring Dorian’s accusatory scowl, he had done what his instincts told him to do, he got in beside her. This was definitely a better place to be than in the bed with his gangly friends. For one thing, she smelled better. Secondly, she obviously didn’t have a problem with him being there since she herself had come into his bed the night before. Besides, she had immediately stopped crying the moment he’d gotten in bed with her and pulled her into his chest.

The girl had a lovely way of snuggling up into him. Sweet little Becky. He’d never felt so wanted, so necessary as when she burrowed into his chest, clinging to him with an almost animalistic tenacity as though her very survival depended on his presence. I’ll take good care of you. Don’t fret love. I can’t promise that I won’t have my moments of doubt but in the end, I’ll always be there for you.

He hadn’t actually vocalized the words but merely willed her to hear his thoughts, to magically absorb them into her heart. It was enough for him to believe that she understood his commitment to her. This lovely little life-form that had been delivered to him on his doorstep.

 

***

 

“How will I get through the next few hours?” Becky asked, standing between Kelley’s knees, absently playing with the lapels of his trench coat. Dorian was standing out on the small balcony of the hotel room while Crispin was in the bathroom, getting ready.

“Just do your best, love,” Kell said, looking up into her sad eyes. “But if you feel you have to cry, don’t hold back. It’s better to let it out rather than trying to be brave.”

“I don’t feel brave,” she said, her lips all aquiver.

“You don’t have to be,” he said, standing up to his full height, slowly pulling her into his chest. “We’ll be brave for you.”

“That’s right, little dormouse,” Crispin said, having heard their conversation on his way out of the bathroom. Hearing his voice behind her, Becky turned and put on a brave smile especially for him.

“Sweet Crispin,” she said, holding her hand out to him. As much as she was glad to have Kelley at her side, she hadn’t forgotten how thoughtfully Crispin had treated her last night. In fact, she would never forget his rare display of sweetness.

This time, it was Crispin’s turn to ignore Kelley’s questioning glare. “Suddenly, I’m sweet. Go figure.” He chuckled, rather amused with himself.

“When you’re not prickly, you can be quite sweet,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Should we try and keep the room for one more night?” Dorian asked when he stepped back inside.

“No,” Becky spoke up first. “I’d really rather go straight home after the funeral. If you don’t mind. Besides, I don’t want to keep you from attending classes tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about classes. Take all the time you need,” Kelley answered for all three of them.

“I really just want to go home,” she said beseechingly. Suddenly, it was the most important thing to her. To get back to Kingston and to routine. Whatever that routine might be.

For whatever reason, Kelley’s heart did a little leap at the way she referred to the House of Goths as her home. Again he thanked God that she’d found her way safely to his front porch that fateful day. Protect her, you’re all she’s got now, his beating heart demanded. She needs you more than ever.

 

Becky held up pretty well throughout the entire funeral process, from the viewing at the funeral home to the cemetery where after a short service, Granny’s ashes were placed in the niche.

With a secret promise that she would return periodically and place flowers in the small vase, Becky said her final goodbyes. She regretted not having had the chance to tell Granny about Kelley, Crispin, and Dorian. She was sure the old lady would have liked to know that her granddaughter was in very good company. Things are so much better now, Granny. I’ve made some very lovely friends.

“Ready, love?” Kelley said, holding the car door open for her. Crispin and Dorian were already sitting in the back.

“Yes…” she said, putting on a brave smile.