After your baby is born, it seems as if the hard work is done—and most of it is. But if you are like many women and work outside the home, you must address issues related to your working life—from the type of childcare arrangement you choose to whether you will go back to work full-time.
Whether to continue working outside the home after baby’s birth is a decision some mothers wish they didn’t have to make. Others look forward to returning to jobs and careers they enjoy, even if that day comes sooner than they would prefer. Whatever the reason, returning to work after having a baby is as typical these days as staying home used to be. More than half of all mothers with preschool-age children work outside the home. For almost all of them, finding adequate childcare is an important issue.
Can I be a good mother if I go back to work?
Absolutely! Millions of women prove this every day. Many believe you can be an even better mother if you work outside the home. Happy mothers raise happy children. It may take some effort, planning and sacrifice by you and your partner, but you can do it!
Arranging childcare for your new baby can be one of the most important tasks you face before returning to work. The best way to choose the right setting and best care provider is to know your options.
You do have choices. Any of a number of situations could be right for you; examine your needs and those of your child before you decide which to pursue. Let’s examine some of the most common childcare arrangements.
In-home care is the easiest option for you and your baby. You don’t have to get baby ready before you leave in the morning or take her out in bad weather. You save commuting time in the morning and evening.
Care in your home is an excellent choice for a baby or small child because the environment is familiar. It provides your child with a great deal of attention. A relative or nonrelative may provide this care. A potential drawback to in-house care during the toddler years may be that the child won’t have the chance to play with others her age.
When the caregiver is a relative, such as a grandparent or an aunt, you may find the situation challenging. Can you maintain your relationship with the relative caregiver while asking or telling him or her to do things the way you want them done?
If the caregiver is not a relative, the arrangement may be expensive. In addition, you are bringing someone you do not know into your home to tend your child. Ask for references, and check them thoroughly. Don’t rush into an arrangement with a caregiver you haven’t checked out thoroughly or you aren’t completely confident about.
Many parents take their children to someone else’s home for care. Often these homes offer small group sizes and scheduling flexibility (for example, you may be allowed to leave your child a little longer occasionally). They offer a home-like atmosphere, and your child may receive lots of attention.
Home care is not regulated in every state, so check each situation carefully. Contact your state’s Department of Social Services, and ask about its requirements. Sometimes local agencies oversee caregivers. Care providers must abide by certain standards or rules, such as the maximum number of children (including their own) allowed in the home. They may also have to obtain certification in first aid and CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation).
Just as your caregiver has certain responsibilities to you, you have responsibilities to your caregiver. Be on time when you drop off your child or pick her up. Call if you’re going to be late, even if the care is in your own home. Pay the caregiver on time. Provide diapers, formula or expressed breast milk, extra clothes and personal items for baby when they are needed.
You must pay federal-withholding, state and local taxes for your care provider, including Social Security and Medicare taxes. If the person works in your home, you may also need to pay workers’ compensation and unemployment insurance taxes. These taxes must be paid on a rigid schedule. Failure to pay on time can put you in a serious legal and financial predicament. Contact the Internal Revenue Service and your state Department of Economic Security for further information.
A childcare center is a larger setting in which children receive care. Centers vary widely in the facilities and activities they provide, the amount of attention they give each child, group sizes and childcare philosophy.
Ask about the training required for each childcare provider or teacher. Some facilities expect more from a care provider than others.
You may find some childcare centers do not accept infants. Often centers focus on older children because infants take more time and attention. If the center accepts infants, the ratio of caregivers to children should be about one adult to every three or four children (up to age 2). One adult for every four to six 2-year-olds and one adult for every seven to eight 3-year-olds is considered acceptable.
Don’t be fooled by facilities; even the cleanest, brightest place is useless without the right kind of care provider. Visit it by appointment, then stop by unannounced a few times. Meet the person in charge and the people who will care for your child. Ask for references of parents whose children are cared for there. Talk to these parents before you make a final decision.
Babies have special needs; be sure the place you choose for your infant meets those needs. A baby must be changed and fed but also must be held and interacted with, must rest at regular times each day and be comforted when she is afraid.
When searching for childcare, keep in mind what is required for your child. Evaluate every situation in terms of how it responds to your baby’s needs.
If your baby has special needs and requires one-on-one care, expect to spend extra time finding qualified childcare. A child with special needs may be best cared for by someone who comes to your home. Ask for a referral from baby’s healthcare provider or the hospital where your child has received care.
All children come down with colds, the flu or diarrhea at some time. If you can’t take time off from work to stay home with a sick child, you may have other care options.
In many places, “sick-child” day-care centers are available. They are usually attached to a regular day-care facility, although some are connected with hospitals. A center provides a comfortable place where an ill child can rest or participate in quiet activities, such as story time. Often a registered nurse heads the facility; this person can administer medication when necessary.
Some cities have on-call in-home care providers who come to your home when your child is too sick to be taken anywhere. The program is usually run by an agency that deals with childcare, and caregivers charge by the hour. This can be an excellent way to care for a child who is ill.
Where do you start the search for the right day care for your child? Start with the following ideas.
•Ask friends, family and co-workers for referrals.
•Talk to people in your neighborhood.
•Ask at your church about programs it may sponsor.
•Call a local referral agency.
•Advertise in local newspapers, online resources and church bulletins to find interview candidates.
Talk to people over the phone first to determine whether you want to interview them. Ask about their experience, qualifications, childcare philosophy and what they seek in a position. Then decide if you want to pursue the contact with an in-person interview. Make a list of what to discuss, including days and hours the person is needed, duties, need for a driver’s license and a benefits policy.
Whomever you choose to provide care for your child, check references thoroughly before you make a final decision. Have a potential caregiver provide you with the names and phone numbers of people she has worked for in the past. Call each family, let them know you are considering this person as a caregiver and discuss their experience with the candidate. Ask direct, probing questions. Beware of references who only tell you wonderful things about the caregiver. They could be close friends who have never really used the caregiver you are checking on.
Keep checking. After you hire someone, check the situation occasionally by dropping in unannounced. Pay attention to how your child reacts each time you leave or arrive; this can give you a clue as to how he or she feels about the caregiver.
Childcare can be a big-budget item in your household expenses. The cost of infant and toddler care (through age 3) can be expensive, depending on the type of care you choose. In-home care can be the most costly, with placement fees and additional charges you negotiate based on extra tasks you want the care provider to perform.
Sometimes the monetary benefit you receive after returning to work may be negligible. You may want to calculate the actual costs involved with day care, and make your decisions about working based on those calculations.
Public funding is available for some limited-income families. Title EE is a program paid for with federal funds. Call your local Department of Social Services to see if you are eligible.
Other programs that can help some families with childcare costs include a federal tax-credit program, the dependent-care assistance program and earned-income tax credit. The federal government regulates these programs; contact the Internal Revenue Service for further information.
Finding the best situation for your baby takes time. Start the process several months before you need it. For special situations, such as twins, you might want to start the process even earlier. This often means finding childcare before your baby is born.
You may find a shortage of quality childcare for children under age 2. You may have to get on a waiting list for some arrangements. If you find a care provider you’re comfortable with, ask to put down a deposit and set a date on which childcare begins. Keep in touch with the care provider. Plan to meet again before you place your child in daily care.
You may be concerned about returning to work even after you have dealt with childcare issues satisfactorily. It’s important to find ways to ease the transition from home to work. Some co-workers will be supportive; others may not be.
You may find some of your greatest challenges come after work, when you get home. Your baby and partner need your time and attention. Even when you feel tired, you may have household chores to do. Arrange with your partner before you return to work to share these responsibilities. That way, each of you can give your baby undivided attention for some part of the evening. Set aside time just for you and your partner!
Going back to work takes some planning. Not everything will go smoothly at first, but what adventure does? With the number of childcare options available today and perhaps some creative approaches to your work schedule, you will be able to find a truly happy medium—one that works for you, your partner, your employer and your baby.
If you make the decision to return to work, there are some things you can do to make the transition from home to career easier and more successful. Set up a schedule to get back into your working routine. Be selfish about personal time—you’ll need it. But realize your partner probably needs the same thing, so allow equal time for him.
Keep an open mind. You may decide to go back to work but be miserable when you return. Is there any way to change the situation? Explore all your options, then use what works for you in your particular situation.
Experiment with various feeding techniques before you make any final decisions as to whether you will continue breastfeeding or switch to bottlefeeding. You may decide to continue breastfeeding. You can do this fairly easily if your work is close to baby’s day-care situation or your job offers day-care services, allowing you to visit when it’s time to feed baby. If visiting baby during the day is not an option, you will have to pump your breasts; using a dual-action pump gets the job done twice as fast.
If you decide to switch to formula, eliminate one nursing every couple days, beginning with the early evening feeding. Switch to formula for day feedings. Eliminate the first and last feedings of the day as your final switch to formula.
Examine your wardrobe, and try clothes on! You may be larger in size (it’s natural), or your body shape may have changed somewhat, making some clothes fit differently. If you intend to breastfeed or to pump your breasts during working hours, you may need clothes that allow you to do this easily. Pack some extra things to keep at work.
Try on shoes you may not have worn for a while. Shoe size can increase ½ to 1 full size during pregnancy. Often this increase is permanent, and your feet will remain larger, even after baby’s birth.
Finalize day-care arrangements. Visit the place you have planned to leave your baby to check it out again and make sure they have enrolled your child.
It’s also a good idea to have “sick-baby” arrangements made in case your child gets sick and you can’t take him or her to day care. If you use a babysitter, you may need an alternate sitter in case she gets sick.
Evaluate your needs at home. Will you be able to eliminate certain chores or adapt yourself to accept different standards? You may not realize how valuable your time will be when you’re at home—you probably don’t want to spend time keeping everything sparkling. See if you can do chores more efficiently, such as cooking ahead for the week or shopping only once a week. Maybe you can hire someone to do some cleaning for you.
Begin your work routine this week. Get up at the same time you would normally rise if you were going to work. Feed baby on the new schedule. Make and eat your own breakfast. Allow time to pack a lunch and fill baby’s diaper bag.
Make a list of all the supplies you will need for the baby at home and at day care. Consider diapers, formula, baby clothes, extra bottles, a second car seat and anything else you may need for your baby’s care and comfort.
Take baby to day care, then do errands or take care of other tasks. It’s all part of getting ready to go back to work next week.
Choose your clothes, and lay them out the night before you go back to work. Be sure everything is OK to wear. Pack your baby’s diaper bag with baby’s things to take to day care. Eat a good meal, and go to bed early to get a good night’s sleep.
Time-Saving, Energy-Saving Tip
Others may watch your children at your home or come in to clean for you, and you need to give them a key to your house. Yet you want to keep your house secure. One way to do this is to have two different locks for your door. When the person needs to get into the house, lock only the lock they have a key for. At other times, use both locks.
If possible, choose a Wednesday or Thursday to return to work. It helps you get into the routine of working, but you’ll only work a short week. This allows you to replenish your energy for the following 5-day work week.
If you can start back with fewer hours, that also helps. Five hours a day for a week is a good plan, gradually increasing to 8 hours a day.
Plan easy-to-fix meals for the first few weeks after you start working. Or prepare and freeze some dishes so you don’t have to cook. You might even want to get take-home food a couple of times.
Don’t get upset if you feel a great loss when you return to work. It’s OK to grieve and feel some guilt when you leave your baby. Or you may feel some relief to get back to work. That’s OK, too.
If you continue to breastfeed, take extra clothing to work with you in case you experience leakage of breast milk. Be sure you also have a good supply of breast pads.
Time is a limited resource; learning to manage your time well is the secret to relishing this busy time in your life. Make a daily plan and stick to it. Do what you can and delegate some responsibilities to others. Change your expectations if you need to. After that, concentrate on the baby, your partner and other important people in your life. Let less important things go. Enjoy the moment!
After having a baby, some women decide to continue working outside the home but not full-time or not at their old schedule. You may be happier if you can find a way to work part-time or if you can adapt your schedule in some other way. There may be ways to modify your current work situation so everyone is happy—you, your boss, your partner and your baby.
If you want to work part-time, you may be able to share a job with someone else in the company who would also like to work part-time. Ask your employer.
Find out if flextime programs are available at your workplace. You may be allowed to modify your work schedule (for example, work four 10-hour days instead of five 8-hour days). Or you may come in early and leave early, or arrive and leave later. You may be able to set your own schedule, as long as you get your work done.
You might be able to work at home part-time or full-time. Many companies allow some employees to work at home.
If you work part-time or flextime, childcare may be harder to find. With some centers, you pay by the week, whether your child is there or not. An in-home care provider may need the money that only full-time work offers. But some centers are more flexible than others, and some in-home care providers may be delighted at the prospect of a lighter schedule.
You don’t have to stop breastfeeding when you return to work, but you may need to make adjustments. If you breastfeed exclusively, you will need to pump your breasts or arrange to see your baby during the day. You may nurse your baby at home and provide expressed breast milk or formula for your care provider to give baby when you’re away.
One way to smooth the back-to-work transition for you and baby is to begin storing breast milk a couple of weeks before you return to work. Use an electric breast pump to express milk between feedings for about 2 weeks before you return to work. Don’t start sooner—you may produce too much milk. A breast pump with a double-pumping feature empties both breasts at once.
Freeze expressed milk in a variety of quantities from 1 to 4 ounces. This gives the caregiver options as to how much to thaw for a particular feeding.
You might also pump and store breast milk while you’re at work. You may be uncomfortable if you don’t pump your breasts because your milk continues to come in. Take a breast pump with you, and refrigerate or freeze breast milk after you pump it.
If you remain at home until your baby is between 4 and 6 months old, baby may be able to skip the bottle and start drinking from a cup. Earlier than 4 months, your baby will need to learn to drink from a bottle.
You may decide to stay home with your baby. If you do, the change from leaving the house each day to staying at home can be dramatic. You may find being at home isn’t as easy as you thought it would be. Staying home may mean less companionship, less money and the loss of routine.
Try to anticipate some of these changes and meet them halfway. Don’t bury yourself in motherhood and exclude all other activities. Make an effort to get out, meet people and get involved in new experiences with your baby. Consider joining an exercise class designed for new mothers and babies; the YWCA and similar organizations frequently offer classes.
If you have worked full-time, you may not have met many people in your neighborhood. Once you’re home full-time, you’ll have an opportunity to make friends. If other new mothers are in the neighborhood, you might start an infant play group that meets once or twice a week. Take turns hosting. Babies play, and moms talk!
Stay in touch with your colleagues at work. Drop in to see them, or go out to lunch with a group. See what they are up to, and stay on top of what is happening in your field.