WHAT IS THE HAGGADAH?
By Rabbi Schmooley Weiskopf
The book you hold before you contains the liturgy for the Seder service on this festival of Passover—or, as reform Jews sometimes call it, Chanukah. It tells the story of our people’s slavery in Egypt, their release from bondage, and their mass exodus to the Promised Land. It is a much-beloved book, steeped in tradition and replete with prayers and songs of celebration in addition to fun pictures of inedible food and deadly plagues.
Yet what has confounded rabbis and been a source of much theological debate through the centuries is the word Haggadah itself. What does it mean?
Some have contended that it does not have a definition, that the word itself defines the text—just as the word kneecap has no other meaning than, well, kneecap.
In fact, Haggadah is not a word, but rather the name of the only former Hebrew slave to drown once the waters of the parted Red Sea unparted. Haggadah crossed safely, but went back to retrieve a sandal that had come off his foot during that hectic rush between the walls of water. As a handful of witnesses overheard and subsequently blabbered to their Old Testament neighbors, the conversation between Haggadah and Moses once they reached the other side was as follows:
“Hey, Moses, do me a favor and keep the Red Sea parted just a few minutes longer? I gotta get my sandal.”
“To hell with your sandal, Haggadah! I’ve got to unpart these waters so the Pharaoh’s army drowns. My G-d, it’s been hundreds of years since we relaxed.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Hop to the Promised Land, Haggadah.”
But the portly Haggadah did not pay heed. He waddled back for his beloved sandal (it’s been said the pair were a gift from his aged mother shortly before she died of dysentery, leprosy, intestinal worms, plague, scurvy, and exposure), retrieved it, placed it on his foot, turned, and started running in an attempt to rejoin his now liberated brethren. But it was not to be, as the walls of the Red Sea came crashing down upon him—the irony being that about ten minutes later his retrieved sandal washed ashore, where it was reshaped by Moses into a hand puppet to amuse his grandchildren.
And for these reasons, this Haggadah is dedicated to Haggadah.
Happy Passover,
Rabbi Schmooley Weiskopf
P.S.: Then again, I could be wrong. In which case this book is dedicated to my high school track coach, Jim Hart.