In a standard Haggadah, the story of Passover ends with the crossing of the Sea of Reeds. This is because the authors of most Haggadahs have not promised their publishers that they would deliver a manuscript of no fewer than ninety-six pages.
WANDERING IN THE DESERT AND/OR WILDERNESS
After crossing the Sea of Reeds, the Hebrews spent forty years wandering in the desert, also referred to as the wilderness. Initially, this was because Moses (like many typical male prophets) refused to ask for directions to the land of Canaan. But later, other factors emerged: when twelve Hebrew spies did manage to sneak into the Desert of Paran, on the edge of the Promised Land, they discovered that while the soil was fertile, the land was inhabited by giants. Yup, that’s right. Giants. Though it is also possible that the twelve spies were all really short, or that they happened to reach the Desert of Paran on Stilt Day.
In any case, the people were afraid of the giants, and many wanted to return to Egypt. This was super lame, and Moses told them that they were not worthy to enter the Promised Land. Instead, they would wander in the wilderness for forty years, until the generation that had refused to enter died and instead their children would inherit the Promised Land. Weirdly, the issue of giants never came up again.
The Israelites did not greet this new plan with enthusiasm, as it pretty much called for several decades of just hanging around, waiting to kick the bucket. The supply of matzah had been gone for months at this point, and the Israelites were sick of eating sand for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Moses knew he had to do something to boost morale, or these people were going to lose their minds. Luckily, Adonai our G-d knew just what to do. As is so often the case with our people, the solution came in the form of food.
For the next forty years, the Israelites were nourished by a substance that fell from heaven. It was fine and flaky, like divine dandruff, and it arrived with the dew every night. The Israelites gathered it before the morning sun caused it to melt, and they pounded it into cakes, which were then baked. Stored manna went bad overnight, but on the Sabbath a double portion of manna fell, and this manna did not spoil, so that no gathering of manna had to be done on the Day of Rest.
Scientists and historians have speculated—this is true—that manna might have been anything from plant lice to a resin created by aphids to a kosher species of locust to psychedelic Psilocybe cubensis mushrooms, but those jerks are missing the point, which is that manna came from heaven and the Israelites ate nothing else for forty years, not even ranch dressing.
Classical rabbinical literature holds that as a supernatural food, manna produced no waste products, and thus the Israelites did not defecate during their wanderings. Classical rabbinical literature further holds that this lack of defecation caused the Israelites to complain, and that they were worried about potential bowel problems. As Rabbi Eliezer observes, “Not much has changed since then, in terms of Jews and a preoccupation with pooping or not pooping.”