Rabbi McMullen said that when we tell the story of the Exodus, we should explain the meaning of the three most important symbols, or else everybody will wonder what the hell they are doing on the table where the edible food should be.
PESACH
(Point to the shank bone. If this is a vegetarian Seder, point to the beet. If this is a vegan Seder, point to the beet and announce that it is unacceptable because it could be tainted with worm doody.)
The shank bone comes from a lamb. Let’s call her Sally. Sally did not suffer. One minute she was munching on some hay or whatever lambs eat, not noticing the kosher butcher approaching with a kosher mallet, and the next minute, bang, she was Passover chow. Try not to think about it. We probably shouldn’t even have brought Sally up.
Anyhoo, Sally’s bone reminds us that our ancestors were way more badass than we are. They didn’t buy their lamb bone from the pre-sacrificed meat section of the supermarket. They used to personally sacrifice an actual live lamb. Or, if they were vegetarian Jews, they would sacrifice a live beet.
This bone (or beet) reminds us that during the tenth plague, G-d passed over the homes of the Israelites and spared the male children of the Israelites. We frankly don’t know why the bone (or beet) reminds us of that. It just does, similar to the way the song “Hanky Panky” by Tommy James and the Shondells reminds us of throwing up Singapore Slings in the parking lot of the Willow Inn in Armonk, New York.
MATZAH
We eat matzah because it reminds us that our ancestors had to skedaddle out of Egypt in a big hurry, and they wanted to carry with them a food that was not only very lightweight but could also be used as both a weapon and a building material.
MAROR
We eat the maror to remind ourselves that we never, ever again, as a people, want to be in a position where we have to eat freaking maror.
