Rose watched as Mark headed back to his cottage. She should probably get up and go grab her morning coffee with Violet. But still, she sat and stared out at the waves. Gulls flew overhead, calling to each other. A blue heron dropped to the water’s edge and stalked along in the foam on its long, spindly legs. Then, with a graceful swoop, it took off and flew down the shoreline.
“Did you see that one, Emmett? She was a beauty.”
A light breeze lifted a lock of her hair, and she smiled again. Yes, he’d seen the heron.
Her Emmett loved the blue herons. Thought they were majestic. He’d always catch her attention and enthusiastically point when he saw one. She smiled at the memory.
Memories of when she first met Emmett flooded her mind. She’d been so young. Just nineteen when they met. He’d roared into town on a motorcycle. A loner. But he’d caught her eye with his unruly curls, lazy smile, and strikingly dark blue eyes. And his kindness.
That first day she’d been standing under a large live oak tree, worried about a stray kitten that had managed to climb up in the tree and was now crying. He’d climbed up that tree to save the kitten mewling high up in the branches and then climbed back down to place the kitten safely in her arms. Later that week, she ran into him at the town park, teaching a young boy how to ride his bicycle. They’d spoken for a bit. Then it seemed like fate was always putting him in her path.
They went out on a few dates. That was until her father forbade her from seeing him—not that it stopped her. She just hid it from her father. She was from a well-to-do family. She’d been given everything and never worked a day in her life. She was home for the summer from college. Emmett had dropped out of high school and had no real money to speak of.
But none of that mattered. They were so in love. They ran off and got married on her twentieth birthday, and she never returned to college. It was a bit over fifty years now. Her father disowned her, and she always swore she’d support her children in anything they wanted to do with anyone who made them happy. But she and Emmett had never been blessed with children.
Her father hadn’t spoken to her for twenty-five years after she and Emmett married until he called her to his bedside as he was dying. He never apologized but had held her hand and said he loved her. Such a waste of so many years. But then, she could say the same about her and her sister…
Why could she give what she thought was sound advice to other people, but never take any herself?
Speaking of advice, she should probably mind her own business. She knew that. But something in her heart was urging her to go and talk to Collette. She wouldn’t say what Mark had confided in her, but maybe Collette just needed a bit of gentle persuasion herself.
Collette looked up to see Rose entering the bookshop. “Why, hello, Rose. Did you finish your book already?”
Rose walked up to her. “No, not yet. I was just… ah, out for a walk. I thought I’d pop in and say hi.”
“Would you like a cup of coffee?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Jody, I’m going to take ten and chat with Rose. Call me if you need me.” She poured them both coffee, and they went to sit in two easy chairs in the back of the store.
Rose settled back in her chair. “I just love this bookstore. It’s so welcoming. You have a good selection of books and you always know just the right book to recommend to everyone.”
“Thank you. The bookstore means everything to me.”
“Everything?”
“I guess your work shouldn’t be your whole world, but this store is kind of mine.”
“And you like it that way?” Rose pinned her with a hard look.
“I… I think so. Well, I always thought so. But recently, I’m not so sure.”
“What’s changed?”
“Just… I wonder if some of my long-held beliefs are really how I feel anymore. Or how I want to feel anymore.”
“Because of Mark?”
Her eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“I just thought there was something between you two. Then there… wasn’t.”
She let out a long breath of air. “I just never knew where I stood with him. Mixed signals. And I hate that. I’ve always avoided it. I want to know where I stand with someone I… that I care about.” There. She’d said it. That she cared about Mark. Not that it had gotten her anywhere.
“Sometimes it takes a person a bit to sort out their feelings. They can give off a hot-cold vibe while they work it out.”
“Maybe.”
“So you do care about Mark?” Rose took a sip of her coffee.
“Way to ask the tough questions.”
Rose smiled and shrugged. “You don’t have to answer them.”
“No, I don’t mind. Yes, I do care about him. I’ve tried not to, but I do. It’s just… I don’t trust him not to…”
“To hurt you?”
“Yes, that. Or maybe he’s not who I think he is. I don’t know. I’m just confused about it all. But I’m not sure it matters. He’s getting ready to leave town. I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again.”
“You could always go find him. Talk to him.”
“I’m not sure I have the words to explain to him how I feel. I’m not sure I know how I feel.”
“Maybe if you talked to him, you could sort it out.”
“Maybe.”
“Sometimes when we avoid the hard stuff, we miss out on some delightful things in life.” Rose took her last sip of coffee and set down the cup. “Anyway, I should run along now. I’m going to help Violet with a few things for Evelyn’s wedding.”
“I’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow.”
Rose disappeared from the store. Collette sat and continued to sip her coffee, thinking about all Rose had said to her.
One thing Mark had done, which she guessed was good, if a bit painful. He’d made her examine her life. She spent so much time avoiding any relationships. Protecting herself. She hadn’t gotten hurt again, but she was alone now because of those decisions. Did she want to be alone for the rest of her life? Was hiding from all the pain causing her to miss out on some wonderful times she could have like Rose said? Was she too old to change now?
So much to think over. And change was scary. Was she ready for change?