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RICK MEETS ME AT THE Winnipeg Airport. He’s happy to get away from the rez to pick me up but drives directly to the nearest gas station and tells me that his truck drove on fumes the last few miles to Winnipeg. I pay for a full tank of gas, and we get back on the highway.
I remember when Rick worked at the lodge. He was pulling in good money back then. I knew that, because he always has new everything—new phone, clothes, and a killer stereo in his truck. Unfortunately, he got mixed up with Butch’s gang, and quit his job at the lodge in favour of partying. Soon after, he sold his cool stuff. Now he does errands for his mom, Mabel, and works as a gopher for a construction company in Wakeville every summer. I bet he regrets the hell out of getting mixed up with Butch now.
On the way home, Rick talks about when he was in rehab, and how much being there helped him turn his life around. “I wish more younger people from the rez would commit themselves to rehab, but I guess a big reason why they don’t is they’d just return to the rez afterwards, and soon they’d fall right back into the same crowd and same habits.”
“Why do you think you were successful staying off the booze?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I saw where my life was going and it wasn’t a good place. Plus, my mother is a real nag.” He laughs. “I’m more afraid of disobeying her than I am about falling off the wagon.”
“I hear ya, man. My mother is great, but when she has her head set on something, look out. I’d rather go head-to-head with a mountain lion.”
A COLD CHILL RUNS UP my spine as we round the last corner of the main road into the rez. It used to be so beautiful here. It didn’t matter what time of the year it was, there was always a mystical energy about this place. But now, with everything that’s happened with Butch, all of my fond memories of home have been replaced with a lurking feeling of impending doom.
Once we pull up to Mom’s house, I give Rick some money for the ride, then grab my bag out of the back and head to the door.
I barely make it up the front steps when the front door flies open and Mom and Dakota are there.
“It’s late, ladies. You didn’t have to wait up for me.”
Mom says that she wanted to stay up so she could make me something to eat after my long trip. Both of the ladies take a moment to size up the bruises on my face.
“Your face is healing quickly,” Dakota says. “That’s good.”
I’m surprised when Dakota wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me in front of my mother. But Mom doesn’t even flinch. She just smiles, then heads into the kitchen.
“Wow. You must’ve bewitched my mother or something. Usually she’s weird about any girl showing me affection in front of her. She’s old school.”
Dakota smirks. “Nah. Your mom is cool. We’ve become fast friends since you’ve been gone.”
“I’ll say. I’ve only been gone for a day and a night, and already she seemed to have changed her views.”
“Not only that, but she said she doesn’t have a problem with me staying in your room with you either.”
I laugh. “Now I’m sure you did something to her brain.”
I put my suitcase in my room, then go to the kitchen and sit at the table with Mom and Dakota.
As I eat the huge plate of spaghetti in front of me, the ladies ask tons of questions about my trip, what Leroy and James were like, and what kind of music we’ll be playing. By the look on their faces, I’m not sure who’s more excited about the job, them or me. Mom announces that she called a few of her gal pals to tell them my news, which means that undoubtedly, the entire reservation has heard.
After I’m finished eating, Mom takes my plate away, puts it in the dishwasher, then kisses me on the head before going to her room. Dakota and I follow suit, heading to my room together. It feels a little strange knowing that Dakota will be sleeping with me all night and Mom is okay with it.
While we’re lying in bed, Dakota tells me how news of the death drawing is all over the rez. “I’ve had so many calls from people, asking about the picture. Most of them suggested it was Butch without me saying anything. I think he’s really starting to gain a lot of enemies, ever since his violent outburst at the powwow. One of my friends said that Butch is a disease that needs to be eradicated before it has a chance to spread and get worse.”
I nod. “Yeah. I think I need to go and speak to the chief tomorrow. Even if he gives me the same answer he gave Mom, I need to keep hounding him until something is done about Butch.”
I wasn’t planning on having sex tonight, not with my mom’s room so close, but I couldn’t help it. Dakota looked so sexy in her boxer shorts and one of my t-shirts, I just kind of lost control. At least we were quiet...or I hope we were. And at least I won’t have to worry about getting up for breakfast and my mother looking at me weirdly.
After making love, I was completely spent and fell onto my back, half asleep. Dakota snuggled up to me, put her head on my chest, and we drifted off.
THE SUBTLE WIND AFFIRMS the changing season as the trees and foliage come to life.
After spending the morning going over songs for the new band, I offer to take Mom and Dakota to the ice-cream shop in Wakeville for a cone. Once we’re off the rez, we stop at the small gas station five miles up the main road.
Mom and Dakota talk and laugh as I get out to pump the gas. A few seconds later, I see Butch exit the gas station with an armful of snacks.
For the first time since I kicked him out of the band, his presence doesn’t frighten me. Instead, I feel enraged over the shit he’s pulled. Especially in leaving my mother that drawing.
I watch him as he crosses in front of me, unaware of my presence. Then Mom opens the passenger door and tells me to grab her some gum. This gets Butch’s attention. He looks at me and stops walking.
“Get the fuck out of here,” I say, surprising myself.
He laughs. “Well, look who’s back from their big Toronto band try-out.”
“I’m as serious as a heart attack right now, Butch. Take off.”
“What’s the matter, Ray? Are you still pissed over that spanking I gave you?”
“Don’t come any closer, or I’ll spray you with gas and throw a match on you.”
“Oh, really?” He steps toward me. “Why would you do that? In my mind, our feud is over. I got no more bad feelings toward you.”
Just then, Dakota jumps out of the van and stands beside me. “Get the hell away from us. You’ve done enough damage.”
“Well, look who showed up. Are you Ray’s bodyguard or what? You’d think you learned your lesson the last time I saw you. You’d better watch your mouth if you know what’s good for you.”
Butch keeps walking forward. I brace myself and get ready to pull the nozzle out of my tank.
“Hey! Hey!” Dakota yells. “Look who just pulled in. It’s the chief.”
Butch and I both look over at the approaching white suburban that belongs to Harlan. Butch stops in his tracks. Harlan parks at the next gas pump, then gets out of his vehicle. I watch as he catches a glimpse of me, then Butch.
“What’s going on here?” He keeps his gaze on Butch. “Nothing stupid, I hope.”
“I was just getting some snacks and he pulled up.” Butch motions to me.
“Is that right, Ray?”
I slowly nod my head. “Nothing happened.”
“All right. Then I guess you’ll be on your way, Butch.”
Butch smiles, then turns and walks away.
I finish getting gas, then hang the nozzle up just as Mom gets out of the van and makes her way over to the chief.
“That could’ve been ugly if Harlan hadn’t shown up,” Dakota remarks.
“I wasn’t worried. Not this time.”
“I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.”
Mom finishes talking to Harlan, and he gives a quick wave at Dakota and me before driving away.
Once we’re finished and all back in the van, we pull onto the highway and Mom tells me what the chief and her were talking about. “Harlan is taking steps to ensure that Butch gets shut down.”
“What does that mean?”
“Not sure, that’s just what he told me. And he also said that some of Butch’s friends are avoiding him now. I guess they don’t want to be associated with him when he finally crashes and burns.”
We reach the ice-cream joint and get our treats, which none of us are really in the mood for after seeing Butch. Still, we do our best to distract ourselves. On the way home, our positive energy is restored as we listen to music and sing along.
Once we’re back at the house, Dakota tells me that her cousin is picking her up and taking her back to her aunt’s so she can pick up some clothes and things. It’s great timing, as I wouldn’t mind going through more of the songs that I need to learn.
IT’S DINNERTIME WHEN my arms start getting tired from drumming, so I pack it in for the day.
Mom is in the kitchen, making chicken pies. “What time is Dakota coming back? She said that she likes chicken pies, so I made her some special.”
“I’m not sure. She left a long time ago. Maybe her aunt had chores for her to do or something. I’ll give her a call.”
I text Dakota’s cell. After fifteen minutes of hearing nothing back, I call her aunt’s house number. I expect to hear Dakota’s voice when it picks up, but it’s her cousin. I ask to speak to Dakota, but the girl tells me that Dakota left for my house over an hour ago. “She had a backpack full of clothes on her shoulder, and wanted to get some exercise, so she opted to walk.”
I hang up the phone, then relay the information to my mother. “It’s weird. You’d think that she would’ve texted or called to let me know when she was leaving her aunt’s.”
“She knew that you were probably busy practicing. She probably didn’t want to disturb you.”
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m feeling a little worried. Her cousin said that she left over an hour ago and was heading straight here.”
“You’re just being paranoid. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. She probably just changed her mind about coming straight here and stopped off at a friend’s place or something.”
“If that were the case, why won’t she answer my texts?”
“I don’t know, son. But I’m sure you’re just getting yourself riled up over nothing.”
“Even still, it’s dark out now. I think I’m going to take a drive around and see if I can spot her.”
THE WARM AIR FROM TODAY has been replaced with a snapping change of temperature, reminding me that although the ground is pretty much melted, the remainder of winter is still somewhat present.
I drive to Dakota’s aunt’s, then make my way down all of the side streets. Dakota is nowhere to be found. I spend the next forty minutes cruising past every house with a light on, just to see if I can spot her in a window. I can’t see her anywhere.
When my efforts are exhausted, I drive back to Dakota’s aunts and reluctantly knock on the door. Soon, I am face to face with Dakota’s cousin and aunt. Both of them say they’ve been trying to call and text her but haven’t gotten a response. Again, I ask Dakota’s cousin what time Dakota left their house, and what she said as she was leaving. Her cousin tells me the exact same thing as before. “Dakota left an hour before you called. She had her backpack on, and said she was going straight to your place. That’s the last I’ve heard from her.”
Dakota’s aunt isn’t interrogating me this time, as she has done before. Now, she’s quiet and has a worried look on her face. “If that Butch has done anything to my niece, I swear!”
I console her, assuring her that I’m sure Dakota will turn up. Then I tell the cousin to let me know if she hears anything. I leave their house and slowly drive back home, watching very closely every shadow or person on the road.
When I walk through the door, Mom is sitting at the table with her head in a crossword book. “Well? Where was she?”
“I wish I knew.”
Mom looks up at me. “What? You still haven’t found her?”
This is the first time I’ve seen a look of worry on her since I started raising concerns. She tells me to have a seat, then gets out her small handwritten phone book and picks up the phone. “If she’s on the rez, I’ll find her.”
HOURS BLEND INTO EACH other as each call my mother makes comes back with no results. Dakota is missing, and with every passing moment, my heart gets heavier and my anxiety grows. I knew that my feelings for her were growing very deeply, but now that she’s missing, I know that what I feel for her is love.
