The problem with this particular guest bedroom is the large square east-facing window just above the bed. Because of the window’s position, the room is awash with bright yellow sunlight from early in the morning, making everything perfectly clear and visible. It is as if nothing, no shadow nor dark entity, can remain hidden within this space once the sun has risen.
Haruka lies on his back in the bed, his robe wrapped tightly around his body as he quietly stares up at the ceiling. He turns his head. Nino is lying on his side facing him. Despite the bright rays flooding the room, he’s still sleeping. Haruka sighs. Nino’s lovely honeyed skin is flawless in the unfiltered light. He looks handsome and peaceful, deeply contented somehow.
I envy him. Haruka shifts his head back to stare up at the ceiling just as Nino stretches his body. He exhales a soft yawn and his voice is groggy and low. “Good morning. Did you sleep?”
“No,” Haruka says. He turns his head against the pillow, meeting Nino’s lazy amber gaze. “I believe that there is something intrinsically wrong with me.”
Nino simply watches him, unmoving. He blinks slowly. “What do you think is wrong with you?”
Shifting his head again, Haruka inhales deeply to calm the block of tension sitting in his chest. “My family has collected data and research on bonding for centuries. In all the accounts I have read and studied, there is not one instance of a couple bonding the first time they exchanged blood. Not one, Nino—across all forms and levels of intimacy. There are also no instances in Lore and Lust of a couple’s bond breaking. Again, I am a severe deviation from what is considered normal and I do not know why I am like this.”
Haruka drags his palms down his face, distressed. Is he some kind of malformation? Some damned thing that exists outside the formalized lines of vampiric culture? Is he even a vampire? Maybe he is something else entirely.
He loves Nino. Truly. He feels no animosity toward him and none of this is his fault. But Haruka has tried to be exceptionally careful to avoid this. For seventy wretched years he has restrained himself and been cautious, strictly stifling his nature and never offering his blood. The one time he allows himself to submit to his desires, he is instantly bound and chained again. It doesn’t make any sense.
Nino slowly sits up beside him, pressing his back into the headboard. He relaxes his shoulders, his hands resting in his lap, legs outstretched. “How many times did it take before you bonded with Yuna?”
“Nine.” Haruka sighs. He places one palm flat against his forehead and closes his eyes. “With intimacy and mutual feeding every time. And there had been a plan. It had been arranged and discussed so there was much preparation. Nino, we have not discussed anything, and now the entirety of our lives and our inherent natures are deeply fused together. We are strictly dependent upon each other now. Does this not frighten you?”
Shifting his head to look over at him with panicked eyes, Haruka waits. Nino seems so calm and unbothered as he sits in the hazy yellow sunlight. Haruka can’t understand it.
Nino sighs. “No, Haru, I’m not scared. I don’t know… Like I told you last night, something in me relaxed after we made love. It settled me and I hadn’t even realized how badly I needed that.”
Haruka drops his hand from his forehead and exhales. He supposes it’s good that at least one of them is calm.
“Speaking of Yuna…” Nino furrows his brow. “What was she talking about last night?
“She told me that after five years of attempting to bond with Kenta she was unsuccessful. She was tersely suggesting that I might befall a similar fate.”
“Well… that certainly doesn’t seem to be the case.”
“Indeed.” Haruka closes his eyes again, taking slow, concentrated breaths. This is unfathomable.
“Why are you scared of this?” Nino asks softly. “What are you afraid of, exactly? Do you think… that I’ll do the same thing Yuna did to you?”
“I—No, I don’t.” He pulls his body upright to sit beside Nino. “My bond with Yuna… It was a very strict and rigid thing. I constantly sacrificed my desires in every way, and being beholden to her… Bonding means the loss of autonomy, Nino. My body is no longer exclusively my own. It unsettles me to be so vulnerable and bound this way again. Can you understand?”
“I understand,” Nino says, his expression thoughtful as he folds his arms. “But… can I offer a different perspective?”
“Of course.”
“What if nothing changes?” Nino blinks, waiting. Haruka’s brows draw together in confusion. In his estimation, everything has changed.
“What do you mean?”
“I enjoy spending time with you—you enjoy spending time with me. That’s why we’re here, yes?”
“Yes,” Haruka says.
“I love you.” Nino smiles. “You love me…”
“I do.”
“The way I see it, now we just get to be together all the time.” Nino shrugs. “We were starting to make plans for me to move here anyway. We made that decision. You say that you’re afraid of being beholden, but to me, we’re free now. We’re not limited anymore. We can research and help each other. We can be closer and nourish each other without worrying. You don’t need to restrict your aura—you can just be yourself.”
Be myself? Haruka stares forward, letting the words sink in. It is a paradigm shift in his mind. Being bonded is a means of being free? How? When he’d been bonded before, all he did was sacrifice the things he wanted. This is his station in life—constant sacrifice. He tries to wrap his consciousness around Nino’s point of view. It is difficult.
“I’ve never forced you to do anything, Haru, and you’ve never imposed anything on me. That’s not our relationship. Why would we suddenly start doing that to each other now?”
Haruka sighs. “I… I don’t know.”
“I’m excited,” Nino says, folding his hands in his lap. “Now I can help you with your realm, if you want me to. And I can feed you whenever you want. I can finally tell you how beautiful I think you are, hopefully without you thinking I’m just trying to get in your pants—although I would… really like to do that again, but that’s not my point.”
Haruka closes his eyes and breathes a laugh. He rubs his palm down his face.
“My point is, I’m happy… about this,” Nino continues. “And I’m curious to explore what’s happened between us. It feels like the energy of our natures has fused together, like maybe we share our innate auras. Two bodies, one essence. We should figure this out. We might be like the Wonder Twins or something.”
“The what?” Haruka frowns.
Nino shakes his head, incredulous. “How is it that you know ancient languages and can recite Greek philosophy, but you have a ridiculous blind spot for pop culture?”
“This is untrue.” Haruka raises his chin. “I know music, particularly from the modal, bebop and free jazz movements.”
“Yeah?” Nino’s eyes narrow in challenge. “What about outside of that? Jimmy Hendrix, Freddy Mercury, Prince and David Bowie?”
“Yes.” Haruka turns his nose up, indignant.
“Bruno Mars? Gaga?”
“What… language are you speaking?”
“What about TV shows, anime and movies?” Nino presses. “Star Trek, Doctor Who… Cowboy Bebop—Amelie, Kill Bill, Spirited Away?”
Folding his arms, Haruka sits back. “You are making these things up.”
“Jesus, Haru,” Nino laughs. “I am not.”
“I do not watch television or movies because the motion of it bothers my eyes. We have talked about this. The light of the smartphone you bought me as well. I’m glad that you are here and I no longer need to use it.”
Haughty, Haruka shifts his gaze away from Nino. At his mate’s silence, he looks back toward him. He’s smiling. In a surprise move, he smoothly leans into Haruka and sneaks a quick kiss upside his nose, making Haruka wince.
“I’m glad that I’m here too,” Nino says. “I love you, Haru.”
Haruka smiles, feeling an undeniable flash of warmth in his chest. “I love you. Please do not insist that I watch strange things.”
Nino shrugs. “It’s your loss.”
There is a knock at the bedroom door. Haruka calls out and Asao peeks his head inside. He frowns. “I’m not going to ask why your bedroom looks the way it does. Whatever the reason, I hope we don’t make this a habit?”
Nino looks away in a stifled laugh. Haruka straightens from the headboard. “I apologize, Asao. No, it will not be a habit. At least, I don’t think it will.”
Asao shakes his head before he calls out, “Nino.”
Nino lifts his chin in the manservant’s direction. Asao’s face softens, warm and kind. “Welcome to the family.”
“Thank you, Asao.” Nino beams.
Asao steps into the room. “We have a lot to talk about. Arrangements, formal announcements, combining finances. We need to think about hiring more staff for the house as well.”
“Agreed,” Haruka says. They have much work ahead of them. His mind is bending around his new circumstance. Little by little, it doesn’t seem nearly as daunting as it had an hour earlier.
Asao continues, “Also, you haven’t seen the paper this morning, but apparently Ladislao is gone. Poof. Vanished without a trace.”
Haruka draws back, his chest tight. Nino’s face also wears a look of panic. Is the Vanishing truly happening again? And what about the purebred he’d briefly sensed in the woods? Is he part of this, somehow? The confounding mystery of the Vanishing is that purebred vampires should not be capable of simply disappearing. The innate strength of their auras always makes them discernable to someone, somewhere—especially if they are mated.
“Anyway, I’m not trying to spook you,” Asao says, moving back out the door. “I just thought you should know. Let’s try not to let this news dampen our exciting morning. I’ll start breakfast.”
Haruka’s brain is already scanning and flipping through all the historical accounts, research and data he’s read and studied about the Great Vanishing. Nino’s voice breaks his concentration.
“Alright…” he breathes. “Am I allowed to panic now?”