PABLO TURNS 36
NO BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY THAN A FULL-day of spectacular surf followed by a party completely devoted to me. I got the bonfire on the beach ready to be lit, copious amounts of alcohol, plenty of food and excellent company on the way. I had hoped that Ellis would help me with the set-up but she’s still up there in her house. One of her moods I guess.
Here’s some facts you may not know: An average keg holds 15.5 gallons of beer, which works out to roughly 220 12-oz servings. That equals approximately seven cases of suds. You did know that? Okay how about this: In early Scandinavia, instead of drinking from cups, men used the top halves of enemies’ skulls when enjoying a brewhaha at the end of a long hard day. Ask me anything; I’m an encyclopedia when it comes to beer.
Rodeo Beer? I am not the originator, nor a supporter of this term. It is essentially a beer that is consumed while having sex with a female in the doggy position. If the need arises, the beer can be rested on the back of the female from time to time thus leaving the hands free to perform other duties. Ellis would kill you if you ever tried this trick with her. But if that rocks your boat, I can give you a list of willing little fillies, some of who will be here tonight.
How about this: do you know that if you have a deep fear of your glass being empty, you’re suffering from a condition called cenosillicaphobia? Yep. Lots of folks have the condition; you are not alone. That’s why we’ve got to have plenty to drink for this little fiesta. I’m gonna get me a beer right now. One 12-ounce glass provides approximately 3% of the recommended daily amounts of vitamins B2, B6 and B9. A health drink. I read a lot, regular sponge when it comes to interesting facts.
Over here I have used this longboard and set up my tequila tasting table. What is better than beer and tequila? Nothing. Tonight I’m serving Casa Noble, Pura Sangre, Don Andres, Don Leoncio, Don Enrique, Don Tacho, Hacienda del Cristero. I’ve got this thing about trying new tequilas, the weirder the better, so people are always bringing me presents. It’s great way to get the party started, you know? I bought a couple of new ones myself: Caballo Negro and El Viejito—see cause I’m getting older. Viejito? It’s my birthday. Anyway, El Paso, Texas, 1873. That was the first time Tequila was enjoyed in this country. Thank you, El Paso. Thank you Mexico.
Yes, it was an epic day of surfing. This spot, Ellis’ beach, doesn’t get much better. There were several fights, at least two broken noses, and I managed to steer clear of all that turmoil probably because Miss Grumpy Pants never paddled out. I swear, that girl instigates more fights than anyone and it’s me and the boys who always have to finish what she starts. That’s just how it’s always been. But she took a pass today. It was perfect surf, I swear. This is what we live for and she took a nap? Weird. And when I checked just now, she said nothing was wrong, just tired but I’m telling you, she looked kinda green. I don’t like it. I’d like to know what the fuck is going on?
