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Time turned into a blur of studying, as I made my way through as many of the basic spell books as I could, trying to learn as much as I could, as fast as I could.
Which meant studying every waking moment.
And waking up early.
If it weren’t for my classes, I was sure that I wouldn’t know what day of the week it was.
One morning – I think it was a few weeks into my endeavour, though I wasn’t sure – I got dressed as quickly as possible before taking out my latest spell book and my wand, picking up where I had left off the night before.
“Good morning,” Natalie said as she finally woke up and I grunted a response.
She’d given up trying to talk to me past that in the morning, and I was glad.
I didn’t need the distraction.
“Hey! Breakfast!”
I finally put my book down at Natalie’s familiar call, looking up to see her at the door.
I shoved my book into my bag before heading after her.
We headed down to the dining hall and I quickly grabbed an egg and avocado baguette and a coffee.
I’d finished the baguette before we even reached the table.
“I’ll see you all later,” I said to Charlotte, Lena and Natalie, before hurrying off to Ms Maltere’s classroom to get some more practice in before my first lesson started.
“Hey, Lia, wait!”
I turned in the corridor to see that Lena had followed me, though I didn’t slow down for her.
“What is it?” I asked as she jogged to catch up with me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Really? Because Natalie says that you’re waking up far too early, going to bed far too late, and we hardly ever see you.”
“You see me at meals and break.”
“Okay, technically, we see you, but we don’t talk to you. You eat too fast for talking, and then you disappear. And at break, you just sit in the corner and practice spells, rather than talking to anyone. It’s been weeks, Lia. You can’t keep this up.”
“Keeping this up was how I got ten A*s and two As on my GCSEs.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t make it healthy.”
“Well, it hasn’t broken me yet.”
“Which doesn’t mean that it won’t.”
“I’ll slow down when I can afford to, Lena. But for now, I am so close, I can feel it.” I clasped my hand around my wand instinctively. “I just need to keep my head down and keep working, and I’ll finally crack it. I’ll finally understand the underlying magic, and I won’t have to worry about memorising spells.”
Lena frowned. “Wait, you’re talking about instinctual magic theory? Lia, barely anyone cracks that. And ninety percent of those who do are Litcorde. Even Charlotte struggles with it.”
I looked away. I had no idea how to explain this. Even if I could tell her that I was Angelborn and had a connection to Nature... I wasn’t sure that even that explained everything.
“Ms Maltere thinks that I can. She says that I’m a Sister, so maybe that makes it easier for me.”
“Right, because of your ADHD, but that’s not the same thing, Lia. And even if it was, Charlotte’s Litcorde. It’s why she likes hanging out with you, and why she’s been hurt by you shunning us.”
I frowned. “I... I hadn’t picked up on that.” Charlotte had always been the quietest of the group.
“Yeah, duh, because she’s Litcorde.”
I frowned.
“Autistic, Lia. It means autistic. And Sister means neurodivergent. But my point is that while you might have a shot at this, it won’t come after just a few weeks of even knowing about magic, never mind studying it.”
I didn’t respond, knowing that nothing I said would convince her.
She sighed. “Is this about your mother? Are you doing this to try to break the curse on her?”
“If I can just understand the magic-”
“And you think that the people currently helping her don’t already? You said that your aunt knows the Guardians. They’re helping with this, right?”
I nodded.
“Caroline Raven and her wife, Persephone-”
“I thought her wife was called Mina.”
“Their other wife, Demons can have two spouses. And actually, Mina single-handedly made the capital of magic liveable. And Caroline and Persephone are two of the most powerful Demons alive, and they’re renowned for their understanding of spellcraft. If they can’t figure it out...”
“Then what? It’s hopeless?”
“No, I didn’t say that. Lia, they will figure it out, but you’re not them. And you’re not going to get there in a few weeks, no matter how much you push yourself. And I don’t think your mother would want you to kill yourself for her.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Because if she’s worth even half the effort you’re putting into this, then she would be a good enough mother not to want that.”
I looked away. “I can’t just give up on her, Lena. I won’t.”
I walked away before she could argue, knowing that we would never agree.
#
I KEPT TO THE CORNER of the library furthest away from the others at break, and I just grabbed a sandwich at lunch, eating as I walked.
Thankfully, none of the others tracked me down or tried to talk to me again.
Of course, it was just my luck that my first lesson after lunch was History of Magic.
I was reluctant to sit next to Natalie, wondering if Lena had relayed our earlier conversation and gotten her onboard with trying to talk me out of my studying.
But she smiled a little as I approached, and I couldn’t find it in myself to sit elsewhere.
“You okay?” she asked as I sat down. “I heard Lena gave you a hard time at breakfast.”
I shrugged. “I’m fine. I just wish that she’d stop trying to be my mother. I know what I’m doing.”
“You know, she’s not wrong. What you’re doing isn’t sustainable.”
“I know that, but I don’t need it to be sustainable. I just need to get to where I want to be.”
“Lifting the curse on your mother?”
I nodded, bracing myself for another round of being told that was impossible.
But she just said, “Okay then.”
I sighed with relief. The last thing I wanted was another argument.
“Thank you. For understanding.”
She nodded. “I know that I would be doing the same in your shoes.”
Before I could respond, Mr Stiles stepped to the front of the class to face everyone. “All right, I’m hoping that you have all read the chapter that I gave you to read last time. I’ll put a list of essay questions on the board in a moment, and I want you to work your way through three of them. It’s not a test, you can talk, you can get your books out, and you can ask me questions. This is about applying your knowledge and figuring out where the holes in said knowledge are.”
He turned to the board and wrote out ten questions.
I turned on my keyboard as Natalie turned to me.
“Want to work on the same questions?” she asked.
I nodded, figuring that working together was the best solution.
And I did feel bad about how little we had been talking, given how busy I was, so if I had to be in the class, the least I could do was multi-task by also talking to Natalie.
Even if it was just about the formation of the Council of Light and how that shifted the balance of power among magical factions on Earth.
Though, by splitting the work, we ended up racing through it.
Mr Stiles had written on the board that, as a bonus, we could move onto a fourth question, but I found myself bouncing in my seat, glancing down at my bag.
I couldn’t practice spells, but I did have my copy of Maria Brown’s book.
As much as Ms Maltere had said that she would take care of that aspect of looking for a way to lift the curse on my mum, I didn’t see the harm in going through the book and seeing if I had a better understanding of anything now.
And it wasn’t as if I had anything better to do.
I pulled the book from my bag, thanking the fact that Mr Stiles had allowed us to use books to answer the essay questions, so it shouldn’t draw too much attention.
Though, my luck must have been in short supply, as I only got a few pages through when Mr Stiles walked over to me, taking an empty chair in front of us and moving it around so that he could sit backwards on it.
I suppressed a groan as I realised that he was facing me.
“So, Amelia, how are you getting along with the task?”
“Fine,” I managed, perhaps a little too brightly.
He nodded, and to my annoyance, didn’t move. “And how are you doing in general? Have you settled in all right?”
I had to force myself not to frown. Why was he asking me this? Was he trying to get information from me? Figure out my weaknesses?
“I’m fine.”
He looked me over, and I wondered if he was going to push the issue.
But, thankfully, he nodded, standing up. “Okay. But if you do have any issues, you can always come to talk to me. I know that you’re new to all of this and it can be overwhelming.”
“I’m sure that I’ll be fine.”
I maybe should have just said that I would, as he stopped, frowning at me for a moment.
“I know that you might want to shoulder things alone, Amelia, but don’t forget that your teachers – including me – are here to help you. You can rely on us if you have problems.”
I nodded, but his words sounded hollow when I could see through his glamour, the tattoo branding him as my enemy drawing my eye.
He sighed, and I hoped that he was going to leave, but then he frowned at the book on my desk.
“Wait, what’s that you’re reading?”
I shrugged, my mind not coming up with an answer fast enough.
He picked it up before I could think of a reason for him not to and flipped it over to see the title.
As soon as he did, he opened the front pages.
Looking for an editor.
“Who gave you an unedited Maria Brown book?”
I didn’t answer, and he sighed.
“Look, you shouldn’t have been reading this in class, Amelia. I’m afraid I’ll have to confiscate it.”
I glared at him, but I didn’t have a defence.
He was right, I shouldn’t have been reading it in his class.
But that didn’t mean that he was right to take it.
He took the book and placed it on his desk.
Natalie leaned over. “Don’t worry. Ms Griffin doesn’t let teachers keep confiscated items after the end of the school day. You can come back for it after last lesson.”
I nodded, still annoyed, but relaxing a little as I realised that I hadn’t lost the book for good.
#
I RETURNED TO MR STILES’ room at the end of the day, but there was no one there.
I opened the door and looked over the desk, but my book wasn’t there.
I made my way over before glancing back at the door.
There was no way I wouldn’t get in trouble if I was found rummaging through a teacher’s drawers, but then, he wasn’t here, and he also wasn’t supposed to keep my book.
Though, if he was here to hurt me, maybe he wanted to stop me from getting information on the curse? To stop me from saving my mother.
Or maybe getting information on Maria Brown.
If he was working for her, it would make sense that he wouldn’t want me to have her book.
That he wouldn’t want me gaining information on my enemy.
But if he didn’t want me to have it, then that meant that I had to get it back.
If he wasn’t in his room... Maybe he would be at his house.
I thanked the fact that I had access to the teacher’s houses before storming off in that direction.
I had to get that book back, no matter what.
I made it through the gate to the town houses and paused, wondering which one was his.
But then I took out my wand, remembering the direction spell my auntie had shown me on the first day here, and that I had since found in one of my textbooks.
I just hoped it worked.
If there was one thing that would maybe block the spell, I would imagine it would be someone’s house.
Still, I placed my wand in palm, and it spun to face one of the houses before I said the incantation aloud.
I kept my wand in my hand as I went over to the house and hammered on the door.
Perhaps I should have been more polite about it, but if I stopped to consider what I was doing, I knew that the anxiety causing my stomach to twist itself into knots would spread through me, stopping me dead.
No, I had to get this book, and I couldn’t let anything stop me.
Finally, the door opened.
Mr Stiles sighed as soon as he saw me. “I take it you’re here to get your book back?”
I nodded.
He stepped aside. “Well, come in. I’ve got it back here.”
I hesitated, sure that stepping into my enemy’s house wasn’t a good idea.
He sighed once more. “I swear, Amelia, I’m not going to bite.”
“I can’t stay long,” I told him as I stepped inside. “Ms Maltere is expecting me for my tutoring session. I told her I would only be a few minutes.”
If he knew that someone else knew where I was, he couldn’t hurt me, right?
Not without blowing his cover.
He frowned as he closed the door behind me. “Ms Maltere has been tutoring you after school?”
“Yes. I’m behind everyone else, so she’s helping me to catch up.”
“And I suppose she was the one who gave you the book?”
I folded my arms but nodded. It was the truth, and I didn’t really have another explanation.
He continued to frown as he looked me over. I tried not to stiffen under his gaze.
“Amelia,” he said, “that book is dangerous. I wouldn’t give it to mature students, never mind kids.”
“It’s just knowledge. How can knowledge be dangerous?”
“Because it’s past your skill level. You’ve had magical exhaustion, you know the toll magic can take on the body. It’s like exercise. You have to train and build up to the harder things. Even those who are more powerful than most.”
“The theoretical knowledge is still valuable.”
“Yes, if you understand how to apply it. And if you understand where Maria Brown crossed the line. If Ms Maltere gave you that book to read on your own, I don’t trust that she’s teaching you those things.” His frown deepened. “Amelia, I wouldn’t recommend relying on her to tutor you.”
I tightened my folded arms as I returned his frown. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, though I had no intention of doing so.
Why was he trying to get me to distrust the one person trying to help me?
To isolate me from her, I realised. She’d said that she would protect me, and now the very person who would harm me was trying to get me to shed that protection.
Yeah, I wasn’t that gullible.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ve got the book upstairs.”
I nodded, following him.
“You know,” he said as we reached the landing at the top of the stairs, “this isn’t about me trying to censor these teachings. Hell, I teach some of Princess Helena’s works. But there’s a reason I keep her grimoire locked away up here, and don’t give it out to students.”
He moved over to his study, a small room with a desk and chair surrounded by bookshelves.
One of which glowed with the same kind of blue light as the gates at the front of the school.
He moved over to the shelf and moved his hand through the blue light.
It didn’t hurt him, but I suspected that wouldn’t be the case if I did the same.
There were several books on the shelf, including the one he had taken from me.
But next to it was Princess Helena’s grimoire.
Princess Helena had helped Maria Brown to create some of her curses.
What if the curse I was looking for wasn’t in Maria Brown’s book, but in Princess Helena’s?
He handed me Maria Brown’s book, pulling me from my thoughts.
“I hope that you give this back to Ms Maltere and don’t read it again.”
I nodded, even though I had no intention of doing so, before heading out of the house and straight to Ms Maltere’s room.
She frowned as I entered. “Amelia. I was just beginning to worry. Did something happen?”
“Mr Stiles spotted the book you gave me and confiscated it. I had to go and get it back. But also, when I was there, I saw that he had Princess Helena’s grimoire.”
Ms Maltere stared at me for several moments before finally speaking. “Helena’s... You’re sure?”
I nodded. “He had it under a protection spell, along with this book, just like the one around the school. But if we could get past it, we could get the grimoire. Maria Brown worked with Princess Helena, right? Maybe the curse I’m looking for is in her grimoire.
Ms Maltere took a moment to think before responding. “Yes, that might be a possibility. But getting past the protection spell would be nearly impossible.”
“Well, he was allowed to pass through, and when I was reading through Maria Brown’s book, I found a spell to temporarily get through a protection spell.”
“But you would need to glamour yourself to even get into his house-”
“Which I can do.”
“Yes, but then you would have to get through the protection spell, which is difficult at the best of times. And I wouldn’t want you getting caught or hurting yourself. Not when we have a more pressing reason for you to get back into his house.”
She moved over to her desk, pulling out a wooden box.
As I approached, I could feel it humming with magic.
“What is it?”
“It’s a listening device. If it could be planted in Mr Stiles’ room, it would pick up any communications he tried to send out, or magic he tried to cast. The problem is getting into his house, never mind his room. If someone with magic steps inside, he will be able to sense that they were there. But you’ve already been there, so he will likely ignore your presence.”
“You want me to sneak inside and plant it?”
She nodded. “The only time he’s not there is when he’s teaching classes, and that means that I cannot help you. My schedule mirrors his. If I miss a class, I will have to explain why to Gail.”
“Can’t you fake being ill?”
“Not in a way that she won’t investigate.”
“So... Just me, then? Will anyone ask questions if I say I have cramps to get out of classes?”
“There are potions for that. And for most illnesses.”
“What about magical exhaustion? I always need time to recover from that. And I have been practising spells non-stop, so no one would be shocked if I pretended to push myself too far. Everyone thinks I’m going to anyway.”
Ms Maltere nodded slowly, frowning a little as she thought over my proposal. “That could work. And you know the treatment, so no one would be too pressed to check on you. At least not until lunch, when your aunt will be done with morning lessons. Mr Stiles has a class first thing in the morning. If you go then, you should be back before anyone realises. I’ll stop by to see you, and make sure that it all went well, at break. Assuming you feel up to this.”
I nodded. Ms Maltere believed that I could do it, and I wasn’t going to let her down.
“Don’t worry. I can do this. But will there be any defences on his house that I have to get past?”
Ms Maltere shook her head. “Gail has locked the teachers’ houses to students, and any more protection would suggest distrust of the staff. If Mr Stiles placed his own protections, that would be deemed suspicious. As you know, he has certain things under heavier protection spells, but we just need to place the device in his room. The more time it spends close to him, the more evidence it will gather. I would suggest placing it under his bed.”
“And you’re sure that I shouldn’t try to copy the book as well? If I use the spell you taught me, he won’t even realise it’s gone.”
“I’m sure, Amelia. You shouldn’t push yourself. That book will be no use to you if you’re injured on this mission. Or worse.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t convinced.
Who cared if I was hurt? If this book could save my mother, then it was worth the price.