I hear the front door open as I put away the last pot. I look around the kitchen and nod. I didn't get to cleaning any of the rest of the house, but the kitchen is finally looking pretty good. I wipe my hands on my jeans and glance at the clock before walking toward the living room. It's almost four… and my mom has been gone most of the day.
She doesn't even look up at me as she sets down her purse and climbs the stairs. I can tell by her body language that heading toward bed is all she has energy for. I follow her upstairs and lean against the door frame as she sits down on her bed.
“Can I get you anything?” I say.
She just shakes her head in response. I know she's feeling crappy, but I've always been afraid of confronting her… so if I don't do it now I have a feeling it won’t happen.
“Mom… I think I should go with you next time… for no other reason than to keep you company.”
She methodically takes off her shoes and lies down in bed before answering me.
“I don't think that's a good idea.”
“I know you don't… but I'm worried about you. This is your first time… it's not going to get any easier.”
She shakes her head and closes her eyes.
“I need to rest.”
I sigh and turn around. I thought perhaps in her weakened state she would be more likely to let me go with her the next time, but I can already tell she's made up her mind and there's no way she wants me to go with her. I head back downstairs and grab my phone before sitting down on the couch. There's a text from Jess that must have come while I was upstairs because I didn't hear my phone.
Sorry I didn't respond earlier. I was in the library most of the day working on a group project. Hope everything is going OK over there. Do you want me to come down this weekend… just to hang out or help with your mom?
I tap my foot on the floor as I think about what to say to Jess. It would be amazing to see her, but I'm not sure it's a great idea. I'm not sure exactly what taking care of my mom is going to entail… and I want to make sure I'm there for her if she needs anything. On the other hand I'm sure she would be fine for a few hours if I hung out with Jess… not to mention it might distract me from the whole situation. I text her back and hit send.
It would be great to see you, but no pressure. It's a bit of a drive and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to hang out. My mom just had her first round of chemo today, so I'm not really sure how the next few days are going to go.
As I wait for a response from Jess there's a knock on the front door. Is that possible? People don't exactly go around knocking on doors anymore… not around here at least. It's always been a small enough town that people just called each other. The phone book is thin enough and everyone is in it. I wonder who it could be. They knock a second time as I set my phone down and get up. I pull the door open and my eyes grow wide. I never expected to see him again.
“Mitch….”
“Amy… hi.”
“Uh… what… what are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
I glance over my shoulder at the stairs. I'm not sure if my mom is sleeping yet, but even if she's not I don't think it's a good idea for him to come inside for a number of reasons.
“My mom is resting,” I say.
Mitch stands aside and I step onto the porch. I pull the door closed most of the way and leave it open a crack.
“How have you been?” he says.
“Mitch… what do you want?”
“I needed to talk to you.”
I cross my arms and nod. I'm not sure what he could possibly need to talk to me about. I've thought about him a handful of times since I last saw him, but it was never in regret about what happened. I forced myself to move on quickly, just as he had clearly done when he was with another girl right under my nose when I was first in Salem. He broke my heart… and I don't think I'll ever forgive him.
“I heard you were back in town.”
“Mitch… obviously I am if I'm standing here.”
“Right… so… do you have any plans for this weekend?”
I frown and narrow my eyes as I look at him. Is he serious?
“What?”
“I was just wondering,” he says, “if maybe you wanted to hang out or maybe catch a movie or something?”
Is this really happening right now? There's a part of me that wants to slap him, but I manage to restrain myself.
“You can't be serious.”
“Look… I just want a chance to apologize for what I did. I know I messed up… Amy, you were the best thing that ever happened to me… I see that now. I don't expect you to ever give me another chance… but maybe we could just be friends?”
I chuckle and shake my head. He’s serious.
“Who told you I was in town?” I say.
“Does it matter?”
I know it must have been the guy working at the grocery store. They must be friends because no one else knows I'm here other than my mom. I guess it doesn't really matter. I turn to walk back in the house, but Mitch grabs my arm just above my wrist.
“Amy… please?”
I try to pull my arm away from him, but he doesn't let go. Pain fills my arm as he holds on tighter.
“Mitch… you're hurting me.”
Tears start to form as he squeezes my arm. I try to pull away again, but it's no use.
“Amy… I still love you.”
I yank my arm and he finally lets go. I dart inside and slam the door closed. I lean against the door and slide down it until I'm sitting on the floor. I brush my fingers over the red mark on my arm from where he grabbed me. I wince at the pain as I cry… it's almost certainly going to leave a bruise.
“Amy,” Mitch says, talking through the door, “just think about it OK… I want to prove to you that we can put it all behind us and start again.”
I try to calm myself down and even out my breathing. I still feel like I’m in shock and like I can’t move.
“Amy… I know you’re there. Just think about it… and give me a call when you decide you want to hang out. I know we can make this work… I just know it.”
I hold my breath and finally hear him walk off the porch. I drop my head as tears pour down my cheek and land on the front of my shirt.
I’m not sure how long I sit against the door… even time seems to fade away. Eventually I’m able to slow my breathing and the tears stop. I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt and stand up. I grab my phone and head upstairs. It’s not that late, but I don’t think I can take much more today… I think I’ll see if I can get some sleep.
I get into bed and close my eyes, but it’s barely dark outside and I’m more emotionally tired than physically. I grab my phone, but there’s no text from Jess. I haven’t heard from Spencer in a few hours… but I’m not sure if I’m in the right state of mind to text with him. I decide it can wait until tomorrow and as I go to set my phone down on my nightstand it lights up with a text from him. A chill runs down my spine as I read it.
Hey. Just finished packing… my flight is early tomorrow morning, but I was thinking about you and wishing you were here. How are you doing today? How did your mom’s appointment go?
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I’m not sure I can even respond without spilling the beans about Mitch. It’s not that I want to hide it from Spencer, but I’m still feeling shaken up by the whole thing and I don’t want him to worry about me. Spencer already has enough going on in his life and I’m on the other side of the country.
I open my eyes as I decide if I should respond to Spencer. It’s early enough that on any normal day I wouldn’t be asleep, so I don’t want him to think something is wrong by not responding. I write a short text and hit send.
I guess her appointment went all right. She got home a few hours ago and went straight to bed.
I shake my head and take a deep breath. I really wanted to tell Spencer about Mitch showing up, but I’m just not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I’m scared… I feel like I need to tell someone. Maybe I should tell Jess about it and she can help me decide what to do. I get a text back from Spencer a few minutes later… and I’m not sure how to even respond.
Hmm. I know this going to sound weird… but is everything OK? I mean I know you’re dealing with a lot right now, but you seem flat. Is there anything you need to tell me about?
I read his text a second time… just to make sure he said what I think he said. Since the day I met Spencer he’s always been able to read me like a book… but how did he know something was wrong from just a single text message? It sends a chill down my spine. I look up at the ceiling while I try to decide what to do. I want to tell him what happened with Mitch… I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do.
No… everything is fine. I’m just tired… my mom really seems like she’s not doing that well, so it’s just going to take some time to adjust to the whole thing.
I hit send and shake my head. I instantly feel bad about not mentioning Mitch. A text comes back in the matter of a few seconds.
Do you want me to come out for a few weeks and help?
I swallow as I read his text. He’s so sweet. I always thought guys like him only existed in fairytales.
No… thank you for offering, but I think it would be best for me to just help her for now.
I would really like for him to fly out here and at least spend some time with me… for no other reason than to keep me from going crazy as I spent every waking moment with my mom. There’s just no way I could ever ask that of Spencer. He’s an important guy… and I’m sure he’s got plenty of work to do. I can’t even imagine how much money it would cost him to take time off and come to Greenville. Spencer texts me back.
I get it. If you change your mind… just let me know and I’ll hop on the next flight.
I resist the urge to change my mind and ask him to come. It’s selfish of me to want him here… I just can’t help it. I sigh and set my phone down. I need to just focus on taking care of my mom. Each and every day is going to be a challenge, I know that… and I don’t need to drag Spencer into it.