I finish washing the dishes from our breakfast and dry my hands. I haven’t had much practice cooking since… well, since ever… but I managed to cook some eggs, not burn toast and I fried some bacon. I did burn the bacon a little and my mom made sure to let me know that was the case.
I should probably head back upstairs to check on her, but she’s been rather hostile this morning. When I went into her room this morning to see if she wanted anything to eat she was already awake. Her skin was pale and I could tell she was feeling the effects of the chemotherapy. It took an awful lot to look her in the eyes and keep a smile on my face.
When I agreed to come here I didn’t think it would be this emotionally taxing… and it’s been less than two days. I guess I need to focus on her and constantly remind myself that what she’s going through is much tougher than whatever I’m experiencing.
I head back upstairs and lightly knock on her door, just in case she managed to fall back to sleep. There’s no response right away and I turn away to walk back to my room.
“Yes?” she says, her voice barely audible.
I turn back to her room and open the door. She looks up at me. I hoped eating would restore some of the color to her face, but she looks just as pale as when I first saw her this morning.
“Are you feeling any better?”
She shakes her head in response as I sit down on the end of her bed. I’m not sure what I can really do for her, she seems so opposed to me helping her.
“So,” I say, “I was thinking that for your next appointment I should go with you… just to keep you company and whatever.”
She clears her throat and looks right at me. I can still see the fire in her eyes… it’s the only part of her that doesn’t seem defeated. I guess maybe that’s a good sign… a sign that she’s still got some fight left in her.
“No. I told you before… I need to do this on my own.”
“I know. I just don’t like that you have to drive back and forth so far by yourself.”
“If you had your license… maybe I would consider it.”
I’m kicking myself for never following through with it after Dex got me that first driving lesson. I guess life was busy and that’s why I never pursued it… and now I’m paying for it.
“What if we moved closer?”
She frowns at me and shakes her head. She opens her mouth, but quickly puts her hand over it and coughs. It sounds bad… a deep and heavy cough that shakes her entire body.
“I can’t afford to move,” she says, once the coughing fit dies down.
“I… I have some money. I can pay for an apartment or something while you get your treatment.”
“How much do you have?”
“I don’t know… why?”
I know exactly how much money I have in the bank. I actually checked my balance first thing this morning in preparation for this talk, but something tells me I shouldn’t tell her how much I have.
“Well… cancer treatment is expensive.”
“Isn’t your insurance covering it?”
She puts her hands on the bed and pushes herself up against the headboard so that she’s in a somewhat more comfortable position that before.
“I don’t have insurance.”
“Wait… you’ve always had it. What happened?”
“I lost it when I quit my job.”
I nod. That makes sense. I didn’t even think of that before. How the heck is she planning on paying for the chemo?
“I’ll pay for it.”
“Thanks… but it’s twenty thousand for three months of treatment.”
“How were you planning to pay for it?”
I can afford to cover the treatment… I’ve got plenty of money in the bank, but I want to hear what her plan is before I hand over that kind of money. I’ve still got most of the money Dex gave me from the film… and last time I talked to him he said once it was released and out in theaters I should be getting a substantial amount more. I’m looking forward to that… for no other reason that it will allow me to take care of my mom and get her the care she needs to fight the cancer.
“I’m not sure… they haven’t billed me yet, but I assume they will soon. I’ll have to figure it out, I guess.”
I shake my head. I can’t sit by and let her worry about how she’s going to pay for the treatment. I realize there’s a way I might be able to convince her to move closer to the treatment center and she would be able to pay for it at the same time—she would just need to sell the house.
“What if you sold the house?” I say.
“No… I don’t think that would work.”
“What if you did though? I know you don’t necessarily want to move… but this way you could at least rent something closer to Salem and then also pay for your treatment with the left over money.”
She just shakes her head and looks toward the window. I thought it was a brilliant idea up until I saw the look on her face just now. I can already tell there’s no way she’s going to go for it, even though it’s the only thing that really makes sense.
“Mom?”
“What?”
“What’s wrong with my suggestion?”
She sighs. It’s almost as if she was going to completely ignore what I said and just not respond. I want to be irritated with her, but I know it’s not fair… not now.
“It would be fine… except I had to take out a home equity line on the house… and I’ve missed the last three payments. When I came back the school had already replaced me… there was nothing for me to do. I have no income… I have nothing.”
“You have me… and I’m going to take care of you.”
I stand up, walk up to her and kiss her on the forehead. I half expect her to respond to me… to thank me… something, but she just looks down. It’s clear she doesn’t like feeling helpless and she would prefer to be able to help herself. I don’t care what she wants—I’m going to do everything within my power to take care of her and that’s going to start with paying for her chemotherapy.
I walk out of her room and gently close the door before she has a chance to argue with me. Hopefully, she can get some rest and realize that I'm doing my best to help her. I'd rather not argue with her about moving and paying for the treatment, but I will if that's what it comes to.
There's a text on my phone when I walk into my room and sit down on my bed. A smile crosses my face when I see it's from Spencer.
Hey, just landed and I can't help but wish you were here with me right now. Hope everything is going all right today. Text me whenever if you get a chance. I've got an audition for the script my agent sent me after you left Aspen, but that's not until this afternoon and I'll just be around doing whatever before and after that.
It's nice that he keeps texting me. I know he's probably as busy as usual, but it seems like he's making a point of trying to keep in touch. It makes me feel a little better about the massive distance between us, but it also makes me feel a little homesick. I glance around my room… the only place I ever called home until last year and now I'm wishing I was in my new home. I miss my new life. Everything has changed these past months… and even though it hasn't all been great, I still feel so fortunate for the way things worked out in Los Angeles.
I sigh and lie down on my bed. I need to get some more cleaning done today… the house is still really dirty, but I feel like I need to take a few minutes for myself because I know that every day moving forward with my mom and her treatment is going to be that much more of a challenge. I'm not complaining… I'll gladly do whatever I can, but I know it's going to be stressful.
I write out a text to Spencer and hit send.
Hi. I just got done talking to my mom. She was still resistant to moving or me going with her to the treatment center. It sounds like she's broke… so I'm offered to pay for us to move closer and I said I would pay for her chemo. She seemed kind of upset, like she didn't want the help… but I'm going to do it. I can't sit here and not help her get better as long as I have a dollar to my name.
I wait for a minute, but there's no text back from Spencer. It's not that surprising… he's probably going over his script again. I decide now is a perfect time to look for a place near Salem where we could move… at least temporarily while my mom is getting treatment.
There're more places for rent in the Salem area than I would have ever imagined, but I guess it makes sense since it's a decent sized city and a college town. I'm not exactly sure where the treatment center is, but I have a general idea. I narrow the search results and find a few places that could work within a couple of miles.
I get out of bed and find a pen and some paper on my bookshelf to write down the names and numbers of a couple of possible places. I narrow it down to three and head downstairs. I want to call them right away, but I have a feeling my mom might be sleeping now and I don't want to disturb her. I head onto the back porch and sit down on the top step as I dial the first number. None of the three listed the prices for an apartment on their website, but I guess it doesn't really matter… I imagine it can't be that much.
The phone rings twice before a woman who sounds middle-aged answers.
“Bristle Creek Apartments… how can I help you?”
“Hi… I was wondering if you have any availability?”
“I think I do… but let me check. Can you hang on for one second?”
“Sure.”
There's a click and I hear elevator music as she puts me on hold. I look out across the backyard… which is in some serious need of attention. My dad mowed the lawn every Saturday afternoon for… my whole life, I guess… and now it hasn't been touched since he died. The music clicks off.
“Are you there?” she says.
“Yes.”
“I've only got a studio available right now… would that work for you?”
I know it's already going to be hard enough to talk my mom into a temporary move without convincing her to move into a studio.
“No… I kind of need something with two bedrooms.”
“Oh… well… it looks like I have a two bedroom coming available in three months. How soon were you looking to move?”
“Today… tomorrow… as soon as possible.”
“I see. If you want to give me your phone number I can call you if something opens up sooner.”
“No, thanks.”
I hang up and dial the second number. The phone rings three times before an old sounding man with a raspy voice finally answers.
“Hello?”
“Uh… I was trying to reach… Glen Haven Apartments.”
“This is it.”
The casual nature in which he answered the phone caught me off guard. I forget for a split second why I called in the first place as I try and wrap my head around the apparent lack of professionalism compared to the woman I just spoke to.
“I… I was wondering if you had any two bedrooms available?”
“Nope.”
I wait for him to say something else, but there's nothing besides an awkward silence for the next two minutes and I decide to just hang up. I shake my head as I enter the next number.
“Well,” I say, talking out loud to myself, “that was weird.”
The phone rings only once before a young sounding woman answers.
“Winding Creek… how can I help you?”
“Hi… I was looking for a two bedroom… and I was wondering if you had anything for rent?”
“I do actually have a two bedroom that just became available. It's pretty rare… the previous tenants just moved out two days ago without giving notice.”
“Great… I'll take it.”
“Did you want to come take a look at it?”
“No,” I say. “I saw pictures of what the apartments look like on your website and it should be just fine.”
“All right… I do have to let you know that the apartment is first come first serve… so the sooner you come and sign the paperwork the less chance of anyone else snagging it is.”
I bite my lip and sigh. I really want to get this apartment, but I'm not sure if I should do anything without at least bringing it up with my mom again.
“Can you hold it for me for a couple of hours?”
“No… sorry. There's enough demand for two bedrooms right now that I can't.”
Crap. Now I'm not sure what to do. Even if I can convince my mom that it's the right thing to do… I would still need her to drive us to Salem and I'm not so sure she's going to be up for that today given how fatigued she seemed this morning.
“How long do you think I have before someone else wants to rent it?”
“It's hard to say… someone could walk in here as soon as we get off the phone and scoop it up… or it could be a couple of days.”
That doesn't sound promising. She sounds so sure that there's enough demand that I need to act right in this moment if I want to preserve any chance of getting the apartment at all. I have a feeling she's being honest, especially after calling two other places that didn't have a single two bedroom for rent between them.
“OK… I'll get there as soon as I can. How much is the deposit?”
“We need first and last, plus the security deposit… so on the two bedroom that comes out to… seven thousand. And it needs to be in cash.”
I sigh and shake my head. It's a lot of money, but there's really no way around it.
“Fine.”
“What's your name?”
“Amy.”
“I'm Rachel. I look forward to meeting you, Amy.”
“Same.”
I end the call and jump up. I need to figure out how to get to Salem… like right now. Once I'm back inside I head upstairs to my room. I grab my purse and check on my mom. She is indeed asleep and I slowly back away from her slightly ajar door so that I don't wake her. Once I'm outside again I feel like I can breathe.
There's a bus that runs from Greenville to Salem, but not until tomorrow. I guess I could get a taxi, but there's no local service and I would have to wait a couple of hours for one to get here. I decide to start walking and figure it out as I go.