Chapter Twenty-Two

Saturday night, Stone sat at his desk and stared at an email from Jovy asking him to draw up a lease for Cece and Blanche because they were taking over V-Spot. He rubbed at the ache in his chest. God, it hurt to breathe. He missed her. So damn much.

He’d picked up his phone numerous times that week to call her and beg forgiveness, but each time his mind balked. Just because Leo was out of the hospital didn’t mean he was okay. If a passerby hadn’t found his buddy passed out in a ditch near Dallas and called the paramedics, Leo wouldn’t be in his room at the ranch. He’d be six feet under.

No. Leo was far from fine. And that was just it. Stone would always be on call, so Jovy would always play second fiddle. She didn’t deserve that. He couldn’t…wouldn’t do that to her. So there was no sense in trying to fix things. He’d always have Leo’s back. That was never going to stop. And there were a lot more backs at the ranch for him to cover. He was spread thin. How could he possibly give her the attention she deserved?

He couldn’t.

The knot in his stomach that hadn’t eased since he left her apartment tightened, as it had whenever he thought of the incredible woman.

The image of her dark, tormented gaze had haunted him all damn week, especially at night in his dreams. He hated that he’d put that damn look on her face.

She didn’t deserve it.

“Hey, Stone, got a minute?” Brick asked, waltzing into the office without waiting for a reply. Nothing new. But he didn’t drop down on the couch in usual Brick fashion.

No. This time, he was followed by Vince and Cord. The three of them stood between him and the door. Shit. Stone stiffened and fought his rising apprehension. “What’s the problem?”

“You.”

“Me?” He reeled back. “What did I do?”

Cord remained standing, while Vince leaned against the far corner of the desk, and Brick settled into the chair. The chair he and Jovy had—

“It’s what you’re not doing.” His brother raised a brow.

Vince nodded. “Yeah…making up with Jovy.”

Ah, hell. Stone shot to his feet, but two large bodies blocked his exit. “Move. Or I’ll move you.”

“Like to see you try, bro.” Brick chuckled from across the room. Stone’s fists cracked with the need to wipe the smile off his brother’s face. “Put away your fists. Just relax and hear us out.”

It was obvious they were all in Ranger mode. Unclenching his hands, he forced himself to walk back to his chair and sit. “Fine. What’s on your minds?”

“Let’s start with that false sense of responsibility you seem to think you have for not only Leo but everyone here at At-Ease,” his brother replied.

“It’s not false. I’m the one in charge of getting and keeping jobs, of putting a roof over everyone’s head. Making a profit so we can take in more men. Look around. The ranch is a mess. The men are unhappy, and we’re almost in the red. I’ve done one hell of a bang-up job so far, haven’t I?”

Vince stepped closer. “A tornado wrecked this place, not you.”

“But I’m responsible for keeping everyone together, and already two men left with more considering it. And you know what? I don’t blame them. Who the hell wants to back a leader they’ve lost faith in? One who has to wipe out his brother’s savings and his girlfriend’s bank account just to make ends meet? I’m a dream-killer.” He chuckled without mirth and made a sweeping motion with his hand. “Took out the men’s, Brick’s, and Jovy’s dreams in one fell swoop. At least I’m proficient in something.”

“All right, now you’re just talking bullshit.” His brother jumped to his feet and advanced. “I’m responsible for my own actions, not you. And I offered my money. You had nothing to do with that decision. It was one hundred percent my own.”

“That’s not my point.”

A frown creased the looming guy’s brow. “Then what the fuck is, Stone?”

The idiot just didn’t get it.

Stone leaned forward in his chair. “You wouldn’t have had to fork the money over if I’d been better at my damn job.” There, he said it out loud. Spelled out his failure.

His brother stared at him a beat before he burst out laughing.

It wasn’t funny. Stone curled his hands back into fists, two seconds away from vaulting over the desk to deck the asshole.

“Wow,” Brick said when he sobered. “Since when have you become Vince, Brick, and Cord, too? We’re all equal owners with our own strengths, Stone. Yours happens to be giving estimates because you’re more personable. That doesn’t mean you’re solely responsible for Foxtrot and At-Ease. Hell no. We’re all equal in that. It’s what we agreed on when we started this partnership. It’s called that for a reason.”

Stone unclenched his fists and begrudgingly nodded at the reminder.

“He’s right.” Cord leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. Stone recognized the stance. The guy was ready to get badass if necessary. “Responsibility doesn’t just fall on your shoulders.”

“Exactly,” Vince chimed in, expression as firm as his tone. “And of course the men look up to you. You’re a damn good leader. I was happy to follow you as a Ranger, and just as happy to follow you now. You took a ranch and a business and turned them both into a haven for veterans needing somewhere to belong.”

He heard the words, understood them to be true, but it didn’t change the facts. “Men are leaving.”

“Yeah, some left.” Vince nodded. “But we started this venture knowing we can’t save or help them all. You yourself said that, Stone. You also said we’ll do our best with what we’ve got, and you have never once dropped that damn ball.”

There were days when it sure as hell felt like it. Especially lately.

Brick cocked his head. “Now, let’s talk about Leo. Why do you hover over him like a mother hen?”

Stone reeled back. “Are you serious? You really have to ask?”

“I don’t mean that,” Brick growled. “I mean why do you think you’re the only one who should? We’re here, too, you know. We all fought together. Sacrificed together. Lived and lost fucking parts of our souls together. There’s no damn reason for you to give up your life to watch Leo.”

He grunted. “Yes, there is. You saw what happened last year.”

“Yeah. So?” Brick shrugged. “What does it have to do with you? Did you hand him the pills?”

“No.” He glared at his brother. “Don’t be an ass.”

“Then what, Stone? What did you do that was so damn bad?”

Vince frowned down at him. “It’s like you’re acting out of guilt.”

Frustration ricocheted through him and knotted his gut. “I am guilty! I didn’t answer his call that night. I was too damn busy having sex and ignored the phone,” he blurted. “If I had answered…then…I don’t know. Maybe Leo wouldn’t have taken the pills.”

The room grew silent as the guys digested his confession. Getting it off his chest didn’t ease Stone’s conscience, but it did help remove a little of the weight from his shoulders.

Brick cocked his head. “Leo called me that night, too.”

“And me.”

“Me, too,” Cord said.

Shock momentarily stilled Stone’s heartbeat, then widened his eyes as he stared at the guys. “What did he want?”

“To shoot the shit,” Brick said, sitting on the corner of the desk. “He never let on what he was about to do.”

Vince nodded. “Yeah, believe me, I’ve replayed our conversation over and over in my head at least a thousand times and I swear he never gave a clue.”

“There’s no reason to believe you would’ve picked up on it if the three of us never did,” Cord said, his unyielding gaze daring him to contradict.

“He’s right,” Vince said. “So talk to us.”

He had no clue what they wanted. They were talking. “About?”

Brick stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his booted feet. “How about Jovy?”

The knot in his stomach twisted tight. “How about no?” No way was he strong enough to talk about her. Not yet. Probably not ever.

“Ah, come on, bro. You’re in love with the woman. But instead of telling her, you’re hiding out at the ranch when you should be at her apartment talking her out of leaving tomorrow.”

“I’m not hiding.” The invisible bands across his chest squeezed so tight it hurt to breathe. He knew she was leaving soon, he just didn’t realize it was tomorrow.

“Her grandfather and cousin are coming to town,” his brother continued. “And after the winner of that contest is announced, she’s flying to Philly with her cousin while her grandfather visits a buddy in Dallas. But Stone…she’d rather stay here with you.”

God, he wanted that, so bad. But could he subject her to the demands of Foxtrot and At-Ease? Both ventures were always going to consume his time. And then there was Leo.

It was no use. Stone had nothing to give her. And she deserved everything. Never had he felt so low, or trapped, or damned deflated in his life. “It doesn’t matter.”

Brick muttered a string of curses. “Does it matter if she cried?”

His gut took an invisible blow. “Jovy cried?”

“Yes, you idiot.” Brick shot to his feet and began to pace. “And you know I don’t do well with crying women, Stone. I don’t do well at all. I swear I almost broke out in hives.”

When they were Rangers, of the five of them, his brother was the last one chosen to deal with hysterical women. And they’d encountered a lot. It never went well. “What did you do?”

“I comforted her and told her not to give up on my stubborn-ass brother, that’s what.” He stopped to press his forefinger to the desk. “Then I told her that you missed her and would come around.”

Now Stone was on his feet. “Ah, hell, Brick. Why’d you tell her that?” Christ, he didn’t want to give her false hope. She was going through enough.

“Because it’s true.” The jerk cocked his head and stared him down.

Stupid, stubborn ass. “I’m not going to come around.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because I can’t.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?”

Everyone stiffened and turned to stare at Leo standing behind Cord in the doorway, misery lining his face.

All the fight evaporated from Stone. As far as he was concerned, the discussion was over. “Hey, Leo.”

His buddy death-glared him. “Answer me, dammit.”

Now all eyes were on Stone. But there was no way he was going to make his friend feel guilty, even if Leo was part of the reason he was letting Jovy go.

“Fuck… It is because of me.” Leo thrust a hand through his hair.

Vince motioned toward the empty couch. “Why don’t we sit down?”

With a resolute expression, Brick retook his seat. Alarm raced through Stone. His brother wasn’t going to let the subject drop just because Leo was in the room. He eyed the door. Cord remained there, no doubt to keep him in the room.

Too antsy to sit, Stone leaned against the front of his desk instead.

“You’re blowing this thing with Jovy because of me,” Leo stated, eyes and tone as deflated as Stone felt. “I’m sorry, man. Look, I swear I have no intention or desire to kill myself.”

Stone wanted to believe him. He really did, but what happened last year was real. The guy almost died. It had been touch and go for days.

Leo glanced at each of them, then sighed as he leaned back against the couch. “You don’t believe me.”

“We want to,” Vince proclaimed, lifting a shoulder.

“I don’t know what happened last year.” Leo stared right at him, gaze open, and troubled, and honest. “It’s all muddled. I was hurting, both physically and emotionally. Maybe I did consciously take those pills while I was drunk out of my skull.” His gaze cleared, turned determined and firm. “But I do know I’m no longer at the bottom of that dark pit. I’m slowly climbing my way out.”

Stone’s heart rocked. “What’s changed?”

“Me,” Leo answered. “I don’t want to live like that. I haven’t for some time, but I thought I could handle it on my own. I can’t. I need help.”

God, it was so good to hear his friend admit that.

“There’s this therapist that volunteers at the rec center where my grandmother plays bingo,” Leo said. “And I’ve been thinking. Would you mind if he came here?”

Stone straightened, hope easing some of the tightness from his chest for the first time in a year. “No, by all means, call and ask him to come. Does he do group sessions?”

“Yes.” Leo nodded. “I sat in on one.”

“There’s several people at At-Ease who’d benefit.” Stone pointed to himself. “Including me.”

Vince lifted a hand. “And me.”

“Me, too,” Cord said, finally leaving his perch by the door to sit on the arm of the couch.

“Ah, hell.” Brick shrugged. “We might as well make it unanimous. But I’m warning you now, if he makes us hug, I’m out of there faster than a roadrunner fleeing a coyote.”

Chuckles went around the room, lifting the heaviness from the atmosphere. It had been years since the five of them had talked openly. It felt good. Damn good. And for several more minutes, they discussed the past and how they missed Drew before the conversation turned to the ranch and the future.

Leo pinned him with a look. “Fix things with Jovy. Don’t use me as a fucking excuse, man. I have no problem moving away if that’s what it’s going to take to get you to stop putting your life on hold to be my babysitter. That’s ending right now.”

A million emotions shot through him at once. Leo was giving him an out. Taking a step toward healing. Hell, his buddy had already taken that step by sitting in on that therapy session. The last thing Stone wanted was to hold the guy back. But letting go wasn’t easy. What if his friend relapsed? Therapy wasn’t a guaranteed cure.

“You really going to make me move away?” Leo asked, gaze dead serious.

Shit. He’d do it, too. Stone shook his head. “No. Your place is here with us.”

“Good. So, about Jovy?”

He blew out a breath and slumped back against the desk. “I think I kind of fucked that up.”

“Then un-fuck it up,” Brick stated, as if it were that easy.

The image of her shattered expression stopped Stone’s heart. Could he really fix that?

“That woman is in love with you, bro. Trust me. You can fix it.”

God, he hoped Brick was right.

He pulled out his phone to check the time. Damn. It was too late to see her or to call. A plan sparked in his head. “I think we should invite her grandfather and cousin here for brunch.” He had a few things to discuss with the man and needed to see Jovy so he could apologize and beg for forgiveness.

He just hoped she’d listen.