When I walked into the Gateside Pub that evening, Susan was already seated near the rear wall, nursing what looked like a simple Coke. The main bar was small, the tables intimate. Quiet, but then it was a Tuesday evening, and traffic out this way had been light. It was the kind of pub where you were either a local, or you’d had to make a special journey.
The girl behind the bar said, ‘Looking for food?’
‘Meeting someone,’ I said, and nodded to Susan. ‘But, sure, we’ll be eating.’
‘She didn’t seem so sure.’
I took the menus and went over to Susan. The girl poured a pint while I sat down. Susan said, ‘The food’s good. I just didn’t know …’
‘No, we don’t really see enough of each other these days, aye? Good to have an excuse.’
She smiled at that. But it was a sad kind of smile, and made me sorry that I’d said anything.
She said, ‘I used to come out here with Mum and Dad. My aunt lived in the village.’
‘Nice wee place.’
The girl from behind the bar brought my drink, said, as she placed it on the table, ‘Friendliest village in Scotland.’
‘That a fact?’
‘We got an award and everything.’
Gateside’s a small village maybe thirty or forty minutes’ drive after crossing the bridge to Fife. There’s not much there, except the pub and a garage that specializes in Minis. It’s nestled beneath the Lomond hills, feels out of the way, the kind of village – maybe its closer to a hamlet – where you can imagine everyone knows your name. A real community. The point of meeting here was that it was isolated from the city; no one knew me or Susan or our connection. Unless maybe they recognized Susan from when she visited her aunt. But then that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone.
‘Ready to order?’
‘Give us a minute.’
As I studied the menu, Susan said, ‘So tell me what happened?’
‘Today? We were supposed to be putting the frighteners on some morons cutting into the old man’s business.’
‘What kind of business?’
‘The usual. Drugs. Cutting into the old man’s territory. The girls were a surprise. No one was expecting that. Not the old man, anyway.’
‘No?’
‘Say what you like about him, he has principles. His prostitutes are always of legal age. And as to people smuggling, well, only the lowest kind of animals would stoop to that.’
‘You sound like you admire him.’
‘Don’t. Just because he has principles doesn’t mean I agree with them.’
She looked up from her menu. ‘I’m sorry.’ And she meant it, too.
‘It’s tough enough,’ I said.
‘Of course.’
We sat in silence for a while. Studied our menus. Every time we met, there was the same awkwardness. There had been a time we were close, but the events of the last few years had served to distance us from each other. Events that might have brought other people closer together had only pushed us apart.
I often wondered if it was more my fault than hers. There were things that should have been said or done that never were.
I said, ‘So what now? What’s the grand plan from my masters at the SCDEA?’
‘No official word, but I figure … we keep going as we were. This doesn’t change anything. I mean, what does it achieve? In the bigger picture?’ I could see from the way she refused to look at me that she hated herself for sweeping what I’d discovered under the carpet. In the old days, these kind of things would have been important. To both of us. What did it say that we were unwilling to step up?
‘I don’t … I don’t know,’ I said. ‘But Burns thought these guys were small time drugs dealers. This is bigger than that. I don’t know … maybe we can turn this to our advantage.’
Hypocrisy, thy name is McNee.
‘Maybe. You’re the man on the inside.’
‘You put me there.’
She didn’t say anything. Except, ‘So, you ready to order?’ Like we’d just been discussing perfectly ordinary business. The girl from the bar was standing behind us. How much had she heard? How much did she give a shite about?
I looked up. Not ready to order. Barely having glanced at the menu. But I made a stab anyway, ordering the first thing my eyes fell on. ‘Sure, the pheasant.’
‘Me, too,’ Susan said.
When we were alone again, she said, quietly, ‘I’m sorry how things worked out.’
‘Sure,’ I said. ‘So am I.’