Malone said, ‘If I ever suspected anyone would be a turncoat … well, it would be you.’
Best I could do was shoot for a poker face. No sense rising to it. He was playing with me. Didn’t even care if I was listening.
‘Really, if you were a betting man, you’d say, “that cunt McNee, he’s the kind of shitebag would rat out his friends.”’
‘There you go,’ I said, finally giving in. ‘Shows why you never won the fucking pools.’
‘Sure. Right enough.’ He didn’t know what to do now that I’d responded. Except keep running. He was dressed in jogging bottoms and a white vest, pounding out the miles on the ceaselessly humming treadmill. The sound of the machine and the padding of his feet only amplified the emptiness of the building.
I’d been called out just past six. Escorted inside this faceless, near empty office building, thinking that maybe this was finally the end. Convinced when I saw the expression on Malone’s face. It was the kind of expression you were sure would wind up being the last thing you ever saw.
But this wasn’t the end. Not for me. Not yet.
‘Still can’t believe it. You think you know a man …’
I knew how he felt. I was still trying to figure it out, put all the pieces together. Clearly Sandy had leaked word that Findo decided to roll over and expose his belly to the cops. Making him public enemy number one in the Burns camp. But what purpose did that serve? Sure, it made me look good in the old man’s eyes. But only for a moment. The truth could easily rear its head. Griggs had played a dangerous hand. For me more than him, of course.
What I was beginning to realize: in this game, I was expendable. And there was no end to the board. No way the lowly pawn could become an all-powerful Queen. All I had to look forward to was the endless drudgery of manoeuvring to the front lines until I died.
If, like Ernie before me, I fucked up, Griggs would just find someone else to manipulate.
‘Explains a few things,’ I said, still trying work out whether what Malone had told me was the truth.
‘Like?’
‘Why he was nervous with me around. Fin was playing both sides against the middle. He had everyone sussed and then I come in, screw with his head.’
‘You’re the one screwed in the head.’ He spat out the words, working a good sweat. The machine revved faster. Malone got red in the cheeks and across what would once have been his hairline.
‘All the same, the boss wants you to keep in with his nephew …’
‘Babysitting duty?’
‘Aye, he doesn’t think you’re cut out for what he has in mind. Neither do I. Fin may have had the wrong idea about you, but you’re still not ready for some of the more … hands-on aspects of this little fracas with Nairn.’
‘You mean he doesn’t think I have what it takes to break some heads?’
‘Know your problem, McNee? You still think like polis. Not good guys and bad guys, all that shite. More … you’ve a polis morality. See, you’d put a man in jail – maybe give him a beating, too, but that’s alright – when what he really deserves is having barbed wire shoved up his fuckin’ piss-hole, know what I’m saying?’
‘I’m soft on crime, soft on the causes of crime?’
‘Also …’ He slowed the machine down. The sweat showed through his shirt, now. His dome glistened. His legs quit pumping so hard, taking him down to a walking pace. ‘Also, McNee, the fact is that you’re a real bloody smartarse. And frankly we’d rather have you not upsetting anyone else. This shite with you and Findo was bad enough, know what I mean?’
I knew what he meant. I wasn’t popular. The old man had a soft spot for me, but most folk thought he was mad or senile. Maybe losing his touch. So while the pressure was on, I was to be relegated to the kind of duty where I couldn’t do any harm. A pariah in all but name.
Reminded me a little of my time on the force. Towards the end. After the accident in particular. No one had really wanted to work with me. My attitude, apparently. This, despite my reputation as an up-and-comer. But then most people thought my move to CID and the buzz around my name was more to do with my friendship with Ernie Bright than anything else.
No matter what side of the law I was on, I didn’t seem to make friends too easily.
But being assigned to look after Rabbie was a real slap in the face.
Like I told Malone, it was babysitting duty. They could dress it up any way they liked, it wouldn’t change a bloody thing.