“What’s it like, having three daughters?”
Stone watched Tara’s face light up before she answered his question. They were sitting in the food court at the mall, in a spot where Tara could see Marybeth and Amanda looking over clothes in the boutique next door. Laurel had taken off to another store across the way, with strict instructions from Tara to stay close.
“It’s a challenge,” she said through a soft smile. “It’s been hard since Chad died. The girls loved their father.”
Stone felt the cut of that declaration down to his bones. He certainly understood that feeling. “And you…you loved Chad? I mean, did you have a good marriage?”
She looked across the table at him, the shock on her face causing her to frown. “Of course I did.” Then she lowered her head. “That’s not exactly true. We married soon after we met, mostly on impulse and a physical attraction. Then we drifted apart after the girls were born. We had some problems toward the end—lots of problems. He had become withdrawn, quiet.” She stopped, took a sip of her soft drink. “I thought…I thought he regretted marrying me. But looking back, I think he was just worried about our finances. I wish he’d opened up to me about that. But Chad kept it all inside. I think that’s probably why he had a heart attack.”
Stone could see the regret and sadness in her blue eyes. She wasn’t telling him everything, but then, he didn’t expect her to. That was her business. “You blame yourself, don’t you?”
She didn’t look up. She just nodded. “And Laurel blames me, too. She’s so angry.”
Stone had to swallow back his own burning anger. “I know exactly how she feels. I felt the same way when my father died. It’s not right, it’s not fair, but there it is.”
Tara lifted her head, her gaze locking with his. “Is that why you aren’t close to your family now?”
“I’m not close to anyone,” he said, the bitterness creeping into his voice in spite of his low tone. “My father’s death has colored my whole outlook on life. I blamed my mother most of all, and Rock, too.” At least he could admit that now. And only to her, even though Stone knew it was fairly obvious in his family.
“But why?” Tara asked, her eyes wide with concern and questions. “Why would you blame them for something that was beyond their control? And why does Laurel blame me?”
“I can’t speak for Laurel,” Stone said, wondering if he even wanted to go down this road, “but as for me, I blame my mother for her pride. We could have had a better life if she’d only turned back to my grandparents for help. If she had accepted their help, my father might not have been out on that shrimp boat during that hurricane.”
“But I thought they disowned her.”
“They did at first. But after we all came along, they tried to get involved in our lives again. Our mother refused their overtures of help. Said they’d just try to mold us into what they thought we should be.”
Tara gazed at him for a long time, then said, “Ana told me about them. They were wealthy?”
“Yes. They owned homes in Savannah and the house my mom lives in on the island. They disinherited her when she married my father, but as I said, they did offer her money through the years—for the sake of the children, they would tell her—and after his death they tried to make amends. My mother just kept refusing their help. She only accepted the island house, so we’d have a place to live. But it was rundown and old.”
He shifted on his seat, his discomfort stifling him. Stone had never talked to anyone about his childhood. But being around Tara was making him see things in a different light. “I remember when the storms would roll in off the Atlantic. My bedroom leaked—a spot right over my bed. I’d have to climb in bed with Rock in his room, just to stay dry and warm. On those nights, I always thought of my father and how much I missed him. Rock tried hard to replace him.” He had a flash of memory, a memory of Rock reaching out an arm to him as lightning flared through a window, telling him not to worry, he’d take care of him.
“So you and Rock were close back then?”
He shrugged, let the memory sink back into a veil of bitterness, then settled back on the metal chair. “Yes and no. We fought like most brothers do, but as we got older, something changed. Rock was always the protector. He was the oldest, so he felt like he had to prove something to the rest of us. But he started bossing us around. I resented that, so I did whatever I could to revolt against his authority.”
“And you’re still doing that?”
He chuckled. “I guess I am.”
“What about Clay?”
“Clay is as good as gold. We get along just fine. But I don’t see him very much.”
“Sounds like he works a lot of long hard hours in Atlanta.”
“He’s a K-9 cop and Atlanta is a big place.”
“I didn’t get to talk to him very much at the wedding.”
Stone leaned forward then. “Well, maybe you’ll get to know him more when he comes home for vacation in a few weeks.”
“Will you still be around then?”
“Is that a trick question?”
He waited as she gave him a long, searching look. “Stone, I’ve been thinking about your proposal.”
His heart hammered against his chest. He ignored it. “And?”
“I think I should accept it.”
He didn’t want to appear too anxious. So he just tapped his fingers against the red metal table. And watched her face. And remembered how soft her lips were.
“That is, if you still want to do this,” she said, her eyes flashing with worry and wonder. “Stone?”
He stopped drumming his fingers. “Oh, absolutely. I’m just curious. What made you change your mind?”
Tara glanced up to see her children walking toward the table. “Them,” she said on a whisper. “And something you just said. Sometimes we need to swallow our pride for the sake of our children. I need to take care of my girls.”
It occurred to Stone as to why he might be trying to help Tara Parnell. It was because as a child he had longed to hear his own mother say those exact same words. He had wanted his mother to care about them. He had wanted her to put aside her pride and her ambition for the sake of her children. But she hadn’t done that. And now, she was trying very hard to make amends. Too late, in Stone’s book. But he could be civil. He could be courteous and polite. While deep inside, he still longed to hear those words. And he longed to be a real son to a real mother. A real brother to Rock and Clay, not just a polite stranger who wandered in now and again.
If he couldn’t do that, he could at least do the next best thing. He could save Tara’s children from the same fate. “Your girls will be taken care of,” he said, meaning it. “You have my promise on that.”
“I don’t want charity,” she reminded him. “But I’m not as strong-willed as your mother apparently was. I can swallow my pride to help my girls, but I don’t want a handout.”
“This isn’t charity, Tara. This is a good business move.” Then he touched a finger to her hand. “And this is between friends.”
“Are we that? Friends?”
“I’d like to think so. But I meant what I said. I want you to respect me, too.”
“I believe you. But can I trust you?”
He got up, threw his drink cup in a nearby trash container. “That’s up to you, isn’t it?”
“I think we need to set a few guidelines,” Tara told Stone later that night. “And we’ve got to decide what to do about Josiah.”
They were back at Tara’s house in Savannah. The girls had found a few things for school and were now upstairs trying on clothes. Tara could hear them giggling and talking.
Except for Laurel. She’d bought one outfit that had turned out to be much more provocative than Tara normally allowed. They had argued about returning it, so as soon as they’d gotten home, she’d stalked up to her room and slammed the door. Tara could only guess her eldest daughter was now listening to loud music with her headphones.
To shut out the pain, Tara thought.
“Hey, where’d you go?” Stone asked as he handed her a cup of coffee.
Tara glanced around to find him leaning on her kitchen counter. It seemed strange to see another man standing there in the spot where Chad had moved and lived. But it was also comforting. Too comforting.
“I’m just worried about Laurel. She’s so lost and confused.”
“She’s a teenager,” Stone reasoned. “Hard to figure out on a good day.”
Tara decided to bring the subject back around to business. “That’s why it’s important that we have an understanding, Stone. If I work for you—”
“When you work for me,” he corrected, “you will have control over your time, Tara. Since I know everything—all about your debts, your need to spend time with your children, and that you have the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, I think we can work on all the details as we go along.”
“But you can’t do that,” she said, lifting a hand in the air.
“Do what?”
“Tell me I have pretty eyes. Flirt with me. I can’t have you hovering about if you’re my boss, Stone.”
“I’ll stay away during business hours, then. Unless, of course, we have business to discuss. Oh, and speaking of that, don’t worry about Josiah. I’ll make sure he has a safe place to live.”
“He might not want to leave.”
“I’ve thought about that. We’ll have a Plan B.”
“Was he close to Chad? Did he talk about him?”
Stone watched her, as if trying to decide how much of the truth she could handle. “He said Chad had a good heart, but that he didn’t know how to appreciate all his blessings.”
“That sounds about right. We didn’t realize we had so much, and I don’t mean material things.”
“He also said Chad came to his little chapel to pray and talk to God.”
“My Chad? He never attended church. We never had time.”
“Apparently, Chad did have a relationship with Christ. At least Josiah implied that.”
Tears brimmed in Tara’s eyes. “That brings me some comfort at least. I just wish he could have talked to me.”
“Stop tormenting yourself,” Stone replied. “Let’s change the subject. I think we just had our first business discussion, if you don’t count the part about your deceased husband. Josiah will be okay.”
Tara appreciated the way he steered her back to the task at hand. “And you’ll respect this—that I need to keep things strictly business?”
“Absolutely.”
But the look in his eyes indicated he had more than just business on his mind.
“And what about after hours?” she asked, her emotions warring between accepting this attraction and fighting it with all her might.
He set his coffee cup down and came around the counter to where she perched on a bar stool. Touching a hand to her arm, he said, “That, too, will be up to you.”
“Oh. Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why will that be up to me?”
Stone turned to lean back on the counter, crossing his arms over his chest, an amused look on his face. “Well, I’m trying to gain both your respect and your trust, Tara. I won’t do a very good job at either if I come on too strong, now will I?”
“But…” She sighed, attempting to regain control of her equilibrium. “I don’t want you to even try, Stone. I was married to a man very much like you. That marriage almost failed because it was based more on lust then love.”
He lifted a hand to his face, then brushed it down his chin. “Is that what you think? That I’ve just got the hots for you?”
She saw the disappointment in his eyes and wished she didn’t have to be so honest. But if she’d been honest with Chad, things might be different now. “I just need to know that you’ll do the right thing. That you’ll respect my wishes regarding this whole arrangement.”
Somehow, he’d managed to get even closer, the look in his eyes going against everything she’d just said. “And what are your wishes?”
Right now, she wished she could kiss him again. For a very long time. But, reminding herself that her next relationship with a man would have to be sincere and built on trust and love rather than just a physical attraction, Tara quickly pushed that fantasy away. “I wish that you’d understand I’m not ready for anything other than a business arrangement. A job.”
His eyes searched her face. “That’s all you need from me, right? A job. And a big check for your property.”
“Yes,” she said, trying to nod her head, trying to find a good, strong breath to push at the denial. “I’m too tired and confused to deal with anything emotional right now.”
“Do I make you emotional?”
He was doing it. Right here in her kitchen. He was pouncing on her without even touching her. Tara felt the heat from his eyes, saw the way his nostrils flared slightly as he leaned close.
“You…you make me crazy,” she said.
“Define crazy.”
“I don’t know. The way you look at me. The way you kissed me the other night makes me think crazy things. Why are you doing that when we both know it can come to no good?”
“No good? Is that what you think being with me would be like, Tara? No good?”
Not really. She thought it would be not only good, but great. Wonderful. If she just leaned forward, she could be in his arms, safe and warm and overcome with a sense of belonging. But she couldn’t do that. Not yet. Maybe not ever. “I just think we shouldn’t rush into something we might regret,” she tried to explain. “It’s bad timing. I have to get my children back on a structured, calm routine. I have to pay off debts, think ahead to the future.”
“I’m thinking of the future right now,” he said, his hand snaking out to grab her arm. “The immediate future.”
“Stone, don’t. We can’t.”
He had her off the stool and in his embrace. “We can’t what? Touch each other? Hold each other? Want each other?”
She tried to shake her head. “It’s wrong.”
“Why? Why is this wrong?” He pulled her close, but he didn’t kiss her. “Is it wrong to want to feel something, Tara? Is it wrong to want something I can’t even explain? Is it wrong to finally find a wonderful, interesting woman, a woman who outranks anyone I’ve ever known, and to want to get to know that woman, to help that woman, to protect that woman? Is that wrong?”
“Is that what you want?” she asked, her eyes touching on his. He looked so sincere, so secure in his longing, that she almost believed him. “Do you really want to get to know me, or do you just find me interesting and a challenge because I have something you want?”
“You mean the land?”
“Exactly.”
He didn’t answer her with words. He just pulled her close and kissed her. This kiss was slow and sweet and flowing, like a soft waterfall. She felt his hands in her hair, felt his touch on her lips, felt his need in the tender way he moved a finger down her face.
Then he lifted away and looked down at her. “I told you, I want more than just land now, Tara.”
Tara whirled, then found her way to the other side of the counter. “And I’m telling you I can’t give you anything more right now. I need a job. I need money. I need some peace of mind.”
“But you don’t need me, right?”
She did need him. But she couldn’t let that happen right now. So she tried to explain. “I don’t need the complications you bring, Stone.” Lowering her head, she said, “I made a big mistake in marrying Chad too quickly. I just don’t want to rush into another mistake. I won’t do that again. And I won’t put my children through that again.”
“Okay.” He backed up, swept a hand through his hair. “I’ll expect a signed contract on my desk Monday morning. It’ll take a few weeks to process the sale, but you can start to work right away. Give your boss two weeks’ notice, Tara. Then report to work for me by the end of the month. You won’t see me again until then, unless you decide you want to see me again. As I said, that’s entirely up to you.” He turned toward the back door. “Oh, and I had a nice time with you and the girls tonight. Tell Laurel I hope she’ll eat a slice of that chocolate pie I put in the refrigerator.”
Tara watched as he opened the French door, then closed it softly behind him.
Already the big spacious kitchen seemed empty with his leaving.
As did her heart.
“How could you do this to Daddy?”
The question, posed by Laurel at the breakfast table the next morning, threw Tara into a tailspin.
“What are you talking about?”
Laurel rolled her eyes, then threw down her half-eaten piece of toast. “I saw you last night, Mom. With him.”
Her heart accelerating, Tara motioned to Amanda and Marybeth. “Go get your backpacks. It’s almost time for the bus.”
“But—” Marybeth protested, staring intensely at Laurel.
“No buts,” Tara replied. “I need to have a word with your sister, in private.”
“Great,” Amanda said, getting up from the table. “We never get to hear the good stuff.”
“Just go, now,” Tara ordered with a finger pointing toward the stairs.
The two girls stalked away, whispering to each other as they tossed curious glances over their shoulders.
“And don’t try to listen on the stairs,” Tara called.
Then she turned back to Laurel. “What do you think you saw, Laurel?”
Laurel sent her a chilling look through eyes made up too heavily with kohl liner and dark blue eye shadow. “I saw you kissing that man.”
“Stone? You saw me kissing Stone?”
“Yes. He was all over you, Mom! And you won’t even let me near Cal without a chaperon!”
Tara took time to count to ten and calm her nerves. “Were you spying on me, Laurel?”
“No!” She got up to slam her dishes into the sink. “I came downstairs to show you my outfit, to prove to you that it wasn’t too skimpy. But when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw you with him.”
“And what did you do then?”
“I watched, then I turned and ran back upstairs.” She whirled to grab her suede purse. “You sure didn’t waste any time.”
Tara reached out a hand to her daughter. “Hold on. First of all, I am an adult and I have every right to date other people. Second of all, nothing is going on between Stone and me. I purposely told him last night that can never happen again.”
“You mean, you won’t kiss him again?”
“Yes. That’s what I mean.” Tara motioned for Laurel to sit down. “Honey, Stone and I are getting to know each other, and we’re doing business together. He wants to buy my land—”
“Our land,” Laurel said, her eyes flashing.
“Okay, our land,” Tara corrected. “And he’s offered me a job.”
“A job?” Laurel jumped up again. “Mom, you can’t work for him.”
“And why can’t I? It would mean more money for us, a way out of our debts. I might be able to keep this house.”
“I don’t care,” Laurel said, her hands waving in the air. “I don’t want you around Stone Dempsey.”
Tara felt the weight of that demand down to her very bones. Laurel would never accept another man to replace her father. Which was why Tara could only concentrate on the job Stone had offered, and not the man who’d given her the job. “I don’t have a choice. I need to make enough money to take care of us, honey. Stone has offered me a good salary.”
“And what else is he offering, Mom?”
The sarcastic tone and the look her daughter sent with it only added to Tara’s woes. “Stone is trying to be a friend to us. That’s all I can allow right now. But that doesn’t mean you should be rude and disrespectful to either me or Mr. Dempsey.”
Laurel put a hand on her hip. “Well, then, that also means you don’t have to go around kissing him, either. I hate him! I hate my life! And I hate—”
“Me?” Tara asked, tears brimming in her eyes. “Do you hate me, Laurel?”
Laurel grabbed her tote and books. “I have to go. The bus will be here soon.”
“Laurel?” Tara called. “Laurel, we need to finish this conversation.”
“I’m through talking to you,” Laurel replied over her shoulder.
The next sound Tara heard was the slamming of the front door.
Shaking, Tara sank down on a kitchen stool, her head in her hands. “Lord, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know where to turn. I don’t know what’s best for my family anymore. I need help.”
She prayed that she was making the right decision regarding the new job at Stone Enterprises, working for Stone Dempsey. Working with Stone.
Tara realized she could be falling right back into the same pattern, the same trap that had brought her so much unhappiness in her marriage—being too ambitious and impulsive. Was she really taking this job for her family? Or was she taking this job just to be near him?