An hour later Cade and I were racing towards the dolmarehn that would take us to the swamp. We urged Lasair and Speirling on until even Meridian and Fergus had trouble keeping up. When we reached the point where the horses could no longer pass, I threw myself off Lasair’s back and nearly hit the ground running. Cade was right behind me, his mind and voice silent.
On the other side of the gateway, the swamp was characteristically silent and a light mist worked its way through the treetops. We ran up the equestrian trail, bypassing the backyard and squeezing through the fence with the ‘dead end’ sign. I hadn’t been home in weeks, having been so caught up in my new life in Eile, and being back so suddenly like this felt strange. It was as if I’d been gone for years. Without even pausing to knock on the front door, I turned the knob as if I was coming home from school.
Mom was sitting on the couch, Logan and Bradley and the twins trying to comfort her, while Dad paced in front of them. Their heads jerked up in surprise when they heard me come through the door. Mom reacted first.
“Meghan!” she screamed. And then she began to sob.
I hated to see my mom lose control like that, so I went to her and wrapped her up in my arms. My brothers piled in on top of us.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
I looked up and scanned the living room, trying to think of what the Morrigan could have taken. I wondered if she’d visited my room and rifled through my things. The only thing of worth to me in there would be some old pictures, and as much as I treasured them, they were here in the mortal world and hardly the type of thing that would draw me out into the open. I wasn’t about to offer myself up to the Morrigan over some old photos.
I sighed and pulled away from Mom, sniffling a little and glancing around at my siblings. Logan and Bradley looked shell-shocked, Dad was still pacing and the twins were subdued. Wait . . . Someone was missing. My heart froze in place despite the sudden rushing sensation of fear and my magic surging forth.
“Where’s Aiden?”
Oh, but I knew the answer to my questions. I already knew . . .
For an unbearable moment, the room went deadly silent. Then, in a small voice that was far from normal for him, Bradley whispered harshly, “We were playing down on the trail when this lady walked up to us. We thought we should just head back to the house, but she seemed so nice, so we waited a bit. Aiden was the first one to start pulling on us, as if she was a zombie or something. She tried to get us to come with her, but we told her no.”
A strange, sick prickling sensation started creeping down my spine, joining in with the pounding of my heart and the flaring of my glamour. Next to it, the rose began to peel open. I bit my lip and forced the magic back where it belonged. I’d held onto Cernunnos’s gift this long and I wasn’t about to let it free, not when I knew I’d really be needing it soon.
Bradley took a quick, deep breath and continued, “She said she was from the Otherworld and that you needed our help, so we started to change our minds. But Aiden screamed, as if someone had burned him, and started pulling harder on us. I thought it was weird, but before I could tell him to knock it off, the strangest thing happened. The woman,” he paled a little before finishing, “she started to do something like magic. Her eyes got red and the sky got darker. We all turned to run but then she grabbed Aiden.”
Bradley sniffed as his eyes filled with tears. “We held on as long as we could and we screamed and screamed, but she was too strong.”
“Dad heard us and came running out of the house,” Logan cut in, “but the strange lady was already going back down into the swamp. Aiden wasn’t making a sound or struggling any more but his eyes were huge.”
Fear and anger churned in my stomach and I so desperately wanted to scream or hit something or both. The Morrigan. The Morrigan had come to our world and had taken my little brother.
Meghan.
I could hear Cade’s words, feel his presence in my mind and I jumped a little. In the rush to get here, with the revelation of what had happened, I’d forgotten he’d been behind me the entire way. Now that my mind was open to his, I knew that he was just as angry as I was.
I turned to my mom, fighting back my rage and despair so that I could get as much information as possible.
Mom still looked rattled, but she was able to tell me the rest of what had happened.
“Meghan, your father followed her down there, down into that swamp. He said she disappeared into some sort of cave, but when he went in after her, it just dead-ended.”
I looked back at Cade, confusion written all over my face. Aiden was mortal. How could she take him into the Otherworld?
Cade must have been thinking the same thing because his face looked uncertain. He glanced over at Dad and asked, his tone quiet, “A cave at the end of a culvert littered with fallen trees? About a mile from here? She went in with Aiden and never came out?”
Dad could only nod and I felt that fear and anger that was swelling in my stomach take on one more emotion: disbelief. Only the sobbing of the person next to me drew me away from my stunned silence.
“The dolmarehn,” Cade said, loud enough for everyone to hear him.
He didn’t have to elaborate. Everyone in my family knew what a dolmarehn was and where it led. Ever since their daughter had told them she was from the Otherworld.
My mom became hysterical and I couldn’t blame her. My head was spinning and it was becoming hard to breathe. I could feel my well of magic reacting to my emotions and I had to fight to keep it under control. What my family was telling me was impossible.
Mom grabbed my hands, her own shaking and cold. She looked up at me with frantic eyes and cried, “I thought you said we couldn’t cross over into the Otherworld!”
“No,” I answered, my throat growing dry, “no, you can’t. It isn’t possible for humans to enter Eile.”
“Then how?!” she cried.
I didn’t know. I looked up at Cade. Could it be possible? Could there be some humans who were able to cross into the Otherworld?
He shook his head infinitesimally. No. There are a few who have both mortal and Otherworldly blood in their veins, but they contain the essence of our world and can pass through the boundary. But no human being has ever entered Eile.
Maybe she’s taken him somewhere here, in the mortal world. Maybe she used her magic to hide from Dad when she was in the cave.
I don’t know. But her note said she had something precious to you, and Aiden definitely fits that description. And my instincts tell me that if she entered the cave, then she was returning to Eile.
But how? I felt my eyes fill with tears once again.
Cade sighed, then sent, I don’t know Meghan, but I think we should get back and start planning. The Morrigan has finally made her declaration of war and if we wish to get Aiden back, we’ll have to inform the queen and the Tuatha De of what has happened.
I nodded, gritted my teeth, and looked my mom in the eye. She was a mess and my heart broke again at the sight of everyone looking so defeated.
I stood and glanced at all of them in turn. “We’ll find him, Mom, Dad. We’ll find him and bring him back.”
Everyone remained quiet, but they nodded. I turned to leave but Mom reached out and grabbed my hand.
“Be careful Meggy,” she whispered.
I squeezed her hand back and strode to the door where Cade waited for me. We returned to the dolmarehn in silence, both of us thinking furiously about what we had heard and what we were now going to do. According to my family, the Morrigan had carried Aiden into the Otherworld. I knew she intended to use him as a pawn to control me, but strangely, that wasn’t what bothered me. What troubled me was that she had done it in the first place. Mortals could not enter the Otherworld, so how on earth had the Morrigan managed to get Aiden through the dolmarehn?
* * *
We returned to Luathara, feeling dejected and emotionally drained. The clouds that had been building that morning had finally arrived, and we decided that stopping for lunch was a good idea. Yes, it meant we’d most likely be traveling in the dark by the time we reached my mother’s castle, but we couldn’t afford to take the time to stay overnight. The Tuatha De needed to know about the Morrigan’s recent move so they could start organizing their troops. We needed to arrive in Erintara as soon as possible.
The door to Cade’s room creaked open and Briant’s daughter walked in with a tray full of food. For some reason or another, my mind flashed back to the first time I had met her and my heart let out a pang of regret. If not for the Morrigan and her selfish, vindictive obsession with power, Birgit and I might be good friends by now, tending to the kitchen garden and laughing over frivolous things. Not that I was one who did much of that, but it would be far better than carrying around all the secrets and fears that had been weighing me down of late.
Birgit set the tray on a table and the tantalizing scent of roast beef greeted my nose. Too bad my stomach was too upset to enjoy it. I felt like tearing my hair out and screaming at the same time. I paced back and forth over the beautiful rugs, imagining I was wearing them out as I wracked my brain, trying to puzzle out how the Morrigan had done it. How had she brought my brother with her to the Otherworld? It was impossible for mortals to come to Eile. Had she employed some unknown form of magic? And if so, what did that mean for us when we finally confronted her?
“Meghan, please sit down, you’ll wear yourself out.”
Cade walked over to me and tried to take me in his arms.
“No,” I hissed, batting his hands away, “I can’t stay still. I have to keep moving, keep thinking.”
Nodding grimly, he returned to the windowsill where he’d been leaning and gazed through the rain-speckled panes. The fire crackled and popped in the fireplace and I detected the smallest flinch in Cade’s shoulders. Sighing heavily, he braced his hands against the stone ledge and let his head hang as if trying to regain some misplaced strength.
I frowned, regretting the way I had pushed him away, but my emotions were too frantic to worry about Cade’s feelings right now.
Think Meghan, think! I told myself. How did she do it?
Part of the problem was that I was angry, furious really, and I had to fight to keep my power from overwhelming me again. If that happened, I might finally lose control of Cernunnos’s magic and end up breaking my geis. As if I needed any other disasters at the moment.
Calm down Meghan, calm down . . . But that bitch had taken Aiden. Aiden, of all my brothers! He was the most helpless, and the closest one to my heart. My small, autistic brother who had trouble letting the world know what he felt. He was so vulnerable and reminded me so much of myself when I was his age, what with his mumblings of sometimes seeing things that weren’t there, and his dark hair and pale eyes and . . .
I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped so loudly Cade was beside me in an instant.
“Meghan! Alright, enough, you are going to lie down right now.”
Cade grabbed my elbows and started leading me to the bed.
“No,” I said, feeling my knees nearly buckle. My voice was a rasp and my skin felt clammy. “Cade!”
I looked him straight in the eye and I was sure my face was a haunting picture. The idea that had so suddenly bloomed in my mind was a shocking one. Yet, the strange tingling sensation that prickled along my spine told me my instincts were correct.
“Cade,” I said softly as I allowed him to support me, “we need to go see my mother.”
“Meghan, we were just in the mortal world,” he said, his voice sounding tired. “And we need to get to Erintara.”
“No.” I shook my head, then added bitterly, “No, we need to go see Danua. Right now. I have some questions to ask her.”
* * *
Our lunch turned cold in Cade’s room as we flew to Erintara, driving our horses as fast as they would go. Kellston was quiet as we passed through, everyone locking themselves away from a sky that promised rain, and as we passed through the dolmarehn on the opposite end of town, I found it appropriate that the weather should match my own dismal thoughts.
When we reached the castle, we were ushered in by Danua’s guards. Dusk had settled in and Erintara’s hallways were gloomy despite the freshly lit candles and lamps. The only sounds that accompanied us as we made our way towards my mother’s throne room were the cracking of our heels against the stone floors, a tempo that kept in time with my heart. Once we’d reached our destination, I burst through the great doors leading into Danua’s throne room. As the huge planks of solid oak slammed against the stone walls, everyone turned to stare at me. Epona, Nuadu, Lugh, Goibniu. Even the Dagda looked annoyed. Lovely. I’d rudely interrupted a meeting with all the Tuatha De. So, they’d all decided to take advantage of my mother’s hospitality and stuck around. Good. It would take us less time to get ready for an attack this way.
The gods of the Celts glared at me and Cade, taking in our mud-stained clothing and disheveled appearance.
“What in Eile has possessed you two to burst in here like this?” Nuadu asked, his dark eyes flashing.
“I need to speak with my mother,” I snarled. “Right now.”
How strange it was that I could so easily throw my weight around like an all-powerful monarch. Even more shocking was the silent but obedient response I received from the men and women who had enough power to squash me like a gnat should they wish. Once everyone had shuffled from the room, I spun around and faced Danua, pain, worry and anger molding my face into a contorted mask.
Cade murmured somewhere behind me, “I’m going to see if my sister has arrived yet,” then made to exit.
I turned just enough to reach out and grasp his fingers in mine. We still wore our riding gloves, but I could feel his strength through the leather barrier.
“No,” I whispered, “stay.”
Memories from earlier that morning fought their way to the surface, pushing away my fear and anger for a split second. I had been far too agitated earlier to think straight and had pushed Cade away. But now I needed his strength if I were to face Danua, high queen of Eile, my blood mother, and ask her the questions that fluttered around in my head like panicked birds thrashing against a confining cage.
He nodded and moved to the side of the room, his presence obvious, but giving my mother and me the space we needed. I turned towards Danua once again.
She stood waiting for me, standing tall and elegant and as cold and beautiful as a marble statue on her dais. Her hands were clasped just above her waist and her brilliant eyes shone with challenge, as if she knew the reason behind my abrupt appearance and was daring me to demand answers from her.
“You lied to me,” I ground out, my hands curling into fists.
She didn’t even bat an eyelash.
“You lied to me!” I repeated. “I am not your only child, am I? You have a son, younger than me, and you abandoned him to the world of mortals as well.”
There. I’d said it. The realization that had been clawing at me since it dawned upon me earlier that morning at Luathara. I could feel the tears burning my eyes and the painful ache swelling in my throat. Aiden. My beautiful little brother, who I had always felt connected to but had never really understood why. Until now. Somehow, he was Danua’s natural child, just as I was.
“What do you want me to say, Meghan?”
I sucked in a sharp breath. That was Danua, my mother, always calm and collected; heartless, callous, uncaring of the feelings of others. And to think, I’d been moved when she’d shown some compassion at our last parting.
“I want to know the truth! How is it that my foster parents think he is their son? Who is his father? Tell me!” I demanded.
Danua’s mouth twitched and finally, finally, the mask she always wore began to crumble. She let out a soul-deep, ancient sigh and melted into her throne, pressing her forehead against a palm.
“I didn’t lie to you about your father. I merely left Aiden out of it when I told you of your heritage.”
She looked up and smiled at me, her eyes shining. My breath caught in my throat. Danua was showing emotion; she was finally letting me see that side of her the Dagda and Cade had always assured me was there.
“You have the same father Meghan, I have loved none but him these past twenty years and more.”
My heart lurched. Aiden and I, we were siblings, full-blooded siblings. I wanted to cry out in joy, but then I remembered why I had come here in the first place. The Morrigan had taken him. She was able to bring him to Eile because he wasn’t human. Because he was Faelorehn like me.
The anger at my mother vanished and I looked back up towards the throne. We had to tell the rest of the Tuatha De that the Morrigan had sent her message loud and clear. We had to work out a plan on how to get Aiden back, but I had more questions for my mother.
“How could I not know he was Faelorehn? And why don’t his eyes change like mine?”
My voice was a whisper, but it carried well in this cavernous room. I heard Cade shift his feet just to the left of me, but I fought the temptation to look in his direction.
His thoughts brushed my mind. Beloved? he sent.
He had never called me that before and the sincerity behind the endearment tugged at my heartstrings. I doused my own words with calm when I responded, I am well Cade. I just need to get through this.
Danua took a breath and answered quietly, “Because of the geis I put on him.”
I felt my muscles tense and a cold dread filled the pit of my stomach. My mother must have sensed my reaction because she lifted a hand. “Only in the mortal world will he be restricted. In Eile, he will be healthy and whole. He will be able to speak and act like a normal child.”
“What did you do to him?” I asked, my voice a harsh whisper.
She looked up at me, her eyes haunted once again. “I suppressed his magic completely. This is why his eyes never changed like yours. Your brother had a very strong aura when he was born, and since it was such a big part of him, I had to hide it from the other mortals.” She sighed heavily. “I had made that mistake with you. People notice you Meghan, because of your Otherworldliness. I would go back and do the same for you if I had known it would have helped you fit in more.”
A hot tear made its way down my cheek. “Why would you do that to him? Do you have any idea what it was like for him the last nine years? Growing up as an autistic child in the mortal world?”
How could she do such a thing to her own son?
As if she could read my mind, Danua stood up in one swift movement, the room growing darker as her magic reacted to her sudden change in mood.
“I did it to protect him, just as I did it to protect you! Think Meghan, think! I made it so your magic would be with you, small and dormant, but with you. And look at the trouble it caused. Aiden had more power than you when he was born. Imagine what it might have done to him were it allowed to sleep unchecked! His magic might have come to life on its own, despite the drain the mortal world brings upon it.”
I reeled back as if slapped. Aiden? More powerful than me? My skin prickled with pride and fear at the same time. What might he be capable of? What would happen if the wrong people found out about his potential? What if the Morrigan knew about his power . . . ?
I gasped and my knees buckled. Cade was at my side before I knew it, gathering me up in his arms, pressing my head gently against his shoulder as he murmured my name between words of comfort.
“I don’t think she knows,” Danua whispered. “The Morrigan. I received a letter this morning, and I’m assuming you received a similar message, or else you would not have burst in here like this.”
She sounded closer, and when I had the strength to look past Cade’s embrace, I saw that she had stepped down from the dais. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the pain. Oh Aiden . . . The Morrigan had been so desperate to have my power and now she had Aiden. He was only a little boy. How could he protect himself from her?
A gentle touch ran down my arm, and I could feel Cade carefully drawing me away from him. I turned towards the touch and found my mother’s eyes, so like Aiden’s, gazing at me. For the first time in my life, I forced myself to look deeper than the surface. I drew in a breath as I finally found what I had been looking for for so long. Beneath the hard shell of a queen who had ruled an immortal race for centuries there lived a woman who had been torn from the man she loved and had been forced to give up her children to keep them safe. I knew then that Danua wore her aloof, harsh demeanor as a suit of armor, to protect her heart from the terrible reality of the world.
A sob escaped my throat and I took my hands from Cade’s shoulders and fell into my mother’s embrace.
“I am so sorry my daughter,” she whispered against my hair. “I am so sorry for everything. We will find him Meghan, my heart, we will find him and somehow we will be a family once again. I will bring you both here and we will be a family. Please, just let me in, give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you and Aiden.”
I cried and I cried as she held me, all of her hard angles becoming soft and welcoming. I stood there and poured my heart out as she hushed me and rocked me and soothed away all my pain.
I can’t tell you how much time passed before I finally pulled myself together, but at some point my mind started registering lucid thought once again. I peeled myself away from my mother and sniffled. I could barely detect Cade, once again standing in the shadows of the room.
I was very grateful that Danua and I had somehow finally breached the chasm in our relationship, but the flimsy rope bridge that stretched between us was a far cry from the steel and concrete structure it needed to be.
“Tell me,” I said as I exhaled a deep breath. “Tell me everything.”
“Meghan,” Danua said quietly.
“No!” I hissed, “I need to know, please!”
I clutched my arms to myself, shivering at the bite of cold air that filled the cavernous space. My mother sighed and gestured towards the chairs at the end of the room. I moved numbly along, trying to organize the questions in my head. Once we were both settled before the fire, I opened my mouth and said, “What happened to the baby Aiden replaced?”
I feared the answer to this question the most, so I figured it was best to get it out of the way. Mom had been pregnant, I had been old enough to remember that, so there had to have been a baby.
When Danua failed to answer me, I feared the worst. Before I could ask again, she finally answered in a small voice, “She was stillborn.”
“Oh no,” I said, “did you . . ?”
Danua gave me a harsh glance, her clear eyes slicing through the thick air. “No Meghan, I did nothing to make such a thing come about.”
She sighed and began to rub her forehead with one hand. “I always knew what was happening with you, did you know that? I had someone watching you, making sure you were happy. When your foster mother got pregnant with her fifth child, I had every intention of sending my own unborn baby into your world.”
She looked up and smiled at me, her own eyes filling with tears. “Your foster parents had already had twins, so it wouldn’t be too unbelievable if they had twins again. My plan was to make it look like Aiden and their own child had come into the world together.”
“How?” I asked, my throat feeling raw. “How could you pull something like that off? The doctors would know if Mom had been pregnant with twins.”
“Meghan, there are so many ways to use glamour, some of which you haven’t learned yet,” she said almost to herself. “Glamour powerful enough to erase or even change memories.”
She glanced up at me, her eyes sad but determined. “I would have had my most trusted advisors and assistants change the memories of all those involved in the birth of the infant and Aiden’s joining it, but I learned early on in the pregnancy that the baby would not be born alive. I had a trusted friend use glamour to disguise herself as one of the nurses, then quickly change the memories of all those in the delivery room. Your foster mother never even knew her child had been stillborn.”
It was all so horrifying. My mom, who had raised me as her own, who loved all of her sons beyond description, had lost a baby and didn’t even know it. I wanted to jump up and slap Danua, to scream at her and tell her what a monster she was, but at the same time I wanted to thank her. What would life have been like for my parents if she hadn’t given them Aiden? Would the Elams now have a cloud of sorrow and loss hanging over them? Would my brothers have turned out differently because my parents would always, in some way, be mourning the loss of their child? I shuddered at the thought, but there was still more I wanted to know.
“What happened to the baby?”
“She was buried properly in the cemetery of your town, with other infants who had been abandoned or parentless.”
I shot up then, anger coursing through me once again. “She wasn’t unwanted! How could you!?”
Danua stayed seated, her hands folded in her lap, her forlorn face gazing up at me. I wanted to shake her, and I was about to step forward to do so, but Cade materialized in front of me and wrapped me up in his arms. I couldn’t hold the emotional wave back any longer. I broke down into tears, again, sobbing freely as he rocked me and spoke my name softly.
“You should have let her hit me Caedehn,” Danua said from her seat. “I deserve it more than anyone.”
“No, my queen,” Cade murmured over his shoulder, “she would have regretted it.”
I forced the anger and the tears to fade away as Cade comforted me. I was livid and hurt and confused. I wanted to claw Danua’s eyes out, but another part of me wanted to hold her close. She had opened up to me only a few minutes ago, and despite all the times I’d told myself I didn’t give a damn about what she thought, her willingness to let me in was like a balm to my soul. We all made mistakes and most of us spent the rest of our lives trying to make up for the worst of them. My mother, the high queen of Eile, was no different than anyone else. She was trying to right a wrong she had made a long time ago and I could either continue to hold it against her or I could help her through it.
Sniffing back my tears, I pushed Cade gently away, smiling weakly up into his worried face.
It’s okay Cade. I’ve got this.
Are you sure? he asked as he brushed a hand down my cheek.
He had finally removed his gloves and his fingers were warm and rough. I shivered slightly from his touch and reached up to take his hand.
I lifted his fingers to my mouth and brushed his knuckles with my lips. It’s just a lot to take in at once, but I can get through this.
His fingers squeezed mine before releasing my hand.
“Meghan, I know you think that the Morrigan is after your magic, that this whole mess is your fault, but you’re wrong. It isn’t about you, it’s about me.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up a hand, halting whatever speech I was about to make.
“No,” she said harshly, her eyes growing hard again. “No, you wanted to know everything and so you shall. I lied to you Meghan, I know this, now give me a chance to make amends. Your father is Fomorian, I did not lie about that, but I wasn’t honest about the details of our relationship.”
She gazed up at me, her eyes growing soft once more. She quickly flicked her glance towards Cade before looking at me and continuing once again, “As you have now gathered, I did not stop seeing him after you were born. He crossed over into our world to visit me, and I crossed over into his. We tried so hard to stay apart Meghan, but we couldn’t.”
She glanced up from her lap and grinned crookedly as she looked at Cade again. “I can only imagine you understand what I’m talking about.”
The soul-deep burn of my anger subsided a little. Was she no longer so averse to Cade? And then a strange, but very likely, thought invaded my mind. Danua had been so against Cade because she didn’t want us to end up like her and my father, separated by the inconvenient conventions of society. I should have been furious at her, but if I listened to her words without letting my emotions tarnish them, then all I could see before me was a woman trying to protect her own heart and those her heart belonged to. Not a queen, not a powerful Faelorehn goddess, but a mother. My mother. And just like that, all my anger fled.
“The last time I saw your father was the day after Aiden was born. He was the one who took him to the mortal world and made sure he became part of your foster family.”
Fresh tears filled my eyes, but my hatred and distrust were gone.
“I know you cannot forgive me Meghan, but please, for Aiden’s sake and your own, please believe me.”
I stepped away from Cade and he let me go. I knelt down in front of my mother, the all-powerful Danua, and took her hands in mine.
“I believe you mother, I believe you.”
She cried out, standing up and pulling me into her arms as she did so. We both had tears in our eyes as we stood there, making that bridge stronger and allowing our hearts to heal, if only a little. I felt light on my feet as I finally allowed myself to forgive my mother, and although I welcomed the feeling like a gentle winter rain, the acrid sting of severe anger threatened to spike through me once more. One wound had been repaired, but another was still torn wide open. The Morrigan had my little brother; Danua’s son, and from the sudden rush of magic swirling around us, I could tell the high queen of Eile was thinking along the same lines as I was.
“Now,” she eventually said, holding me at arm’s length and screwing her beautiful face up into an expression of vengeance, “we get back your brother and knock so much power out of the Morrigan that she’ll be nothing more than a legend for the next thousand years.”
* * *
The moment my mother and I recomposed ourselves, Danua asked Cade to inform the Tuatha De to meet in her counsel room as soon as possible.
Cade gave her a short, formal bow then cast me a reassuring look before quietly stepping out of the room.
Once Cade was gone, silence descended upon us like a heavy frost. Yes, Danua and I had just taken that first step in healing our mother-daughter relationship, but it would take time for us to get used to each other. When a heavy log fell in the fireplace, crackling and sending up a flurry of sparks, the high queen cleared her throat and said, “Shall we?”
She held out a hand, indicating a door that I knew led to her council room. Nodding, I went ahead of her, opening the door and stepping into the familiar room from those several nights ago when I saw the Tuatha De gathered together for the first time. At the moment, the large room was silent, the huge, oval table sleeping like a beast in the darkness. In the next few minutes my mother used her glamour to light the candles and the fire, then summoned someone to bring us tea.
Danua sat in her chair, the one with the highest back, and gestured for me to sit next to her.
“And now we wait,” she said simply as she took a sip of her steaming tea from a delicate cup.
I copied her, but before long the oppressive silence returned. I had absolutely no idea what to say to her. I wanted so badly to ask her about my father, but when I opened my mouth, the words just wouldn’t come. You’ve just been through an emotional blender Meghan, and now it’s about to be set on high speed. No wonder you can’t speak. Thank you, conscience . . .
Instead of trying to come up with a meaningless conversation, I glanced out the window. An icy rain pelted the landscape, painting it in various shades of grey. I alternated between chewing on my fingernails and drinking my tea, trying so very hard not to think about what I knew was coming. This meeting that was about to commence would be it. We were going to war. And not only did I have to worry about protecting Cade and myself, but I had to worry about Aiden too.
Without knowing it, I took a deep breath and released a huge sigh.
“I know Meghan,” my mother said softly, causing me to start.
I turned my eyes to her. Carefully, she set her teacup back on its saucer, the delicate chirp of porcelain meeting porcelain ridiculously loud.
“This is a terrible test on someone so young, but I want you to know, no matter what happens in the coming days, I am very proud of you.”
Suddenly, I was blinking back tears again. I wanted to believe her, but her behavior from several months ago, when we had met for the first time, and even more recently, had me doubting.
Danua only smiled and shook her head, tears gleaming in her own eyes. “I was a fool, my dear daughter. Seeing you made me think of myself, so many years ago when I was young, and the anger I expressed was more towards myself than towards you. But you stood up to me; you refused to budge. You are far stronger than you think Meghan. Don’t you ever forget that.”
The tears streamed down my face, and as I lifted my sleeve to wipe them away, the door burst open and in poured Cade and the Dagda.
For some reason, seeing Cade’s foster father sent one final fissure through the dam and the flood burst free. I jumped up from my seat and threw my arms around him.
“Whoa! Meghan dear! What’s amiss?”
I felt the heavy weight of his arms wrap around me, one of his hands patting me on the back.
“Your young man here woke me from a dead sleep. Has the Morrigan attacked?”
Without thinking, I peeled my head back and blurted, “She has Aiden! The Morrigan has Aiden!”
Confused cornflower blue eyes regarded me for a few moments.
“Aiden?” the Dagda said.
I bit my lip. Stupid emotions. I guess I should have thought this through before assuming that Danua wouldn’t care if everyone knew about her other child.
“Aiden is my son, Dagda, born of the same father as Meghan. Like my daughter, we hid him in the mortal world, conveniently within Meghan’s own family. The Morrigan somehow discovered this and passed through the dolmarehn, taking him from his foster parents. She holds him hostage here in Eile.”
I felt all the muscles in the Dagda’s arms grow stiff, then he cursed.
Danua sighed deeply, her age showing on her face for a split second, then lifted her clear, ocean-colored eyes to Cade’s foster father. “We no longer simply have a war to fight, but we have a rescue mission to attempt as well. I suspect the Morrigan wishes to keep Aiden as a way to bait Meghan and myself.”
The Dagda carefully set me down, then crossed his arms. He furrowed his brow in that all familiar thinking stance I had often seen him in, then took a deep breath and released it.
“The others will have to be told. And we cannot make any plans until we know exactly what we’re dealing with.”
Danua nodded grimly.
“We’ll have to create a distraction,” Cade added, resting his hands on his hips and letting his head hang low.
After a while he glanced up at me, his emerald eyes gleaming. “If anyone knows how to antagonize the Morrigan, it’s me. Besides, she isn’t exactly pleased to know that my death didn’t stick. She’ll find it hard to concentrate on the big picture with me standing in her trail and reminding her of her weakness and failure.”
“No,” I blurted, stepping forward and grabbing onto Cade’s arm. “No, you will not offer yourself up as bait.”
“Meghan, we need a diversion,” Cade said in a lower voice. “I’m the best candidate besides you, and there is no way–”
“Enough!” Danua said, throwing her arms in the air. “We will not discuss this any longer, not until the rest of the Tuatha De get here.”
She picked up a large bell and rang it twice. “Now, let’s have something to eat. Meghan and I had some tea, but we’ll need several more pots soon.”
In the next breath, a door at the side of the room swung open and two male servants came in carrying a tray. The tantalizing aroma of savory stew and fresh bread filled the room and soon our worries were set aside as the four of us paused to eat. I couldn’t put Aiden from my mind, not entirely, but it was nice to have a distraction if only to let my emotions take a breather.
“Caedehn,” Danua said looking up from her meal, “did you relay my message to all my guests?”
Cade nodded. “They told me they’ll be down as soon as they can.”
“What about Enorah?” I asked, suddenly remembering Cade had wanted to check for her.
“Not here yet. I’m guessing she had a slower time getting away from the Weald than us. I expect she’ll arrive by tomorrow at the latest.”
I nodded, but before I could get back to my meal, the door burst open again and in strode Epona and Nuadu, followed by Lugh, Goibniu, Oghma, Cernunnos and a few others. I gritted my teeth at seeing the god of the Wild, his magic flaring in my chest as it recognized his presence.
“What is the meaning of calling us all together on such short notice?” Lugh wanted to know. “Has the Morrigan struck?”
With all the grace she possessed as high queen, my mother calmly explained the situation, and as the details of her story unfurled, the tension in the room wound tighter and tighter.
When she finally finished with her tale, Nuadu spoke up, his voice silent but resonant, “Well then, there is no question as to what we must do. We must try and rescue the child.”
I nearly melted in relief. I’d been so afraid they would meet our dilemma with anger and dissidence.
“It is clear she has tossed the first stone. Now we must prepare for war, as soon as possible,” Epona said, pounding her fist against the table.
“Yes, it’s inevitable, but let’s go about this with as much reason as possible,” Lugh added. “If we pool all of our resources and gather all the men and women willing to fight, we still stand a poor chance against the Morrigan and Donn and their army of faelah.”
Cade’s grandfather looked at me. “While you and Caedehn were away, we sent word to our people. We won’t receive as much help as we’d previously hoped.”
The room burst into worried argument, and I felt my magic stir in response to the frustration permeating the air. My own panic was threatening to overtake me. When Cade and I had left Erintara, I’d been convinced we stood a decent chance. Perhaps that was just another silly daydream on my part.
“Each of my men is worth fifteen faelah!” Bowen yelled angrily, his voice carrying over the commotion.
In the aftermath of everything that had happened since the night of the dance, I’d almost forgotten about the young man. He now sat next to his father, his dark eyes looking like they were on fire, his handsome face twisted with annoyance.
“And how can our combined power not be enough to defeat two Tuatha De?” Epona asked, her pale, flyaway hair taking on a life of its own.
“And what about my brother?” I added, but no one, except for Cade, heard me.
Lugh lifted an arm and tried to shout above everyone. “Wait, quiet, please! I’m not finished.”
Reluctantly, everyone quieted down. I shot my mother a glance. She sat regally, looking cool and calm, but her fingers were hooked around the ends of the armrests on her chair, her nails practically digging into the wood. I knew exactly how she felt.
“The Morrigan alone we could handle. As everyone knows, she recently spent most of her power trying to destroy Caedehn and Meghan. She is weak, but she has two advantages over us. First, she has Donn’s aid. The Lord of the Afterlife has been soaking in his glamour for centuries, allowing it to build up and become a nearly unstoppable force. He hardly ever uses it, and frankly, he really doesn’t need to use it. If we assume he has given most, if not all, of his power to the Morrigan, then we have good reason to worry. Secondly,” he took a deep breath, one I doubted gave him much relief, “she has the high queen’s son. If we value his life at all, then we must act more carefully than before. Despite these obstacles, however, we do have a few things at our disposal.”
And then the golden-haired god turned his gaze onto the Dagda.
“My Spear contains a bit of power, but not nearly enough to help us much. And I will need it during the battle. But Dagda, your Cauldron, it has been absorbing Eile’s magic for centuries, probably longer than Donn has been storing up his own power.”
Cade tensed up next to me and a knowing stillness permeated the room. Wait, what was going on?
“Until recently. I used it a few months ago to restore Caedehn.”
“But it still contains an incredible amount of fae magic, am I correct?”
The Dagda sat up a little straighter in his chair and said carefully, his tone harder than usual, “Yes. What exactly are you suggesting?”
Lugh sighed and took the time to look at everyone sitting at the table. When his pale eyes met the Dagda’s blue ones once again, he drew a deep breath and said, “I am suggesting that we borrow the magic from the Cauldron to strengthen the natural magic of our soldiers.”
An audible, unanimous gasp played across the room, but no one dared speak their opinions.
The Dagda’s jaw worked and I could tell he was fighting against some emotion.
“If you take the magic out of the Cauldron,” Nuadu, said carefully, his deep voice rumbling through the silence, “then it cannot be used to regenerate the dead.”
Now I understood the reason for everyone’s reaction. And now I knew why I could feel my own blood growing cold.
Nuadu continued to run his fingers up the stem of his goblet. He looked up from what he was doing, his dark brown eyes troubled. “You would be able to make our men and women harder to kill, but once they died, they would stay that way. You know the Cauldron would never regain enough power in time to save them.”
“Exactly how long would it take, to absorb enough power from Eile to work again?” my mother asked, her voice containing the slightest shake.
I trained my eyes on her. I was wondering the exact same thing.
The Dagda folded his hands and then pressed his mouth against them. I had never seen him look so troubled. Finally, he took another deep breath, cast a regretful glance in my direction, and said, “A few hundred years.”
The room burst into conversation, partially angry, partially frantic. All I could do was sit there, numb. When my brain started working again, all I could think about was the epiphany I’d had the other night; the realization that we always had the Cauldron to fall back on. But if the Tuatha De agreed to drain the vessel’s power, then the one thing I was counting on would no longer be available.
“Stop!” Lugh shouted, his frustration gradually transforming into anger. “We have no other choice!”
“Yes, we do!” Epona growled, standing up to face off her fellow Tuatha De. “We fight, as we are, with the power we have, and then use the Cauldron to regenerate those who fall!”
From the far end of the table Nuadu started chuckling, but it wasn’t the laughter of someone amused. No, it was the laughter of someone who pitied others for their ignorant foolishness.
“Don’t you get it?” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “This isn’t a band of renegade Fomorians like the last time. This is the Morrigan and Donn. The Celtic goddess of war and strife and the god of the dead. If we don’t borrow the magic from the Cauldron before this war starts,” he continued, his voice growing in power, “then there won’t be enough of us left standing to drag the dead into the Cauldron to bring them back. We ourselves, the Tuatha De, could be weakened so severely we might not be able to rise from the ground for several days. By then it will be too late!”
A hush fell over the room as everyone absorbed what Nuadu had said.
The Dagda cleared his throat. “He is right. We have a better chance draining the magic from the Cauldron and dispersing it amongst our people now, than if we wait and try to revive them later. It is the only chance we have of freeing your son.”
He lifted his eyes and gazed directly at my mother, sitting at the head of the table. He was imploring her, his queen. He and Lugh and Nuadu had laid it all out before her. They had been honest and done their best to come up with the strategy that would be the most likely to succeed. They were telling us, telling Danua, that the only chance we had against the Morrigan and Donn was to pull the power from the Cauldron and to give it to those who would be fighting. It meant they would be more powerful. It also meant that they had no chance of survival if they were struck down. But they were leaving the decision up to her. Perhaps this conversation would have ended differently if the Morrigan hadn’t taken Aiden, but I couldn’t let that distract me now. We had absolutely no way of knowing Aiden’s safety would have been part of this whole mess. Well, at least I had no way of knowing.
The Dagda released a great sigh. “We have to accept that there will be sacrifices. But I’m afraid it is the only way.”
Suddenly, the part of me that wanted to believe them because they were far more experienced at warfare than I went into hiding, and my emotional side clawed its way free for a split second. No! I wanted to shout. No, mother, don’t agree to this! Fortunately, my rebellious thoughts stayed in my head.
It took Danua a long time to respond to the Dagda, and I could only imagine what was going through her mind. We were not only fighting this war because the Morrigan insisted on it, but because she had something that was precious to the high queen and myself: Aiden. If the Morrigan didn’t have my little brother, would this choice be easier for her? Whatever my mother decided, would she fear her personal attachment had driven her to that conclusion? I wanted to save Aiden more than anything, but the Cauldron had proven to me once just how important its magic was.
Finally, she squared her shoulders and glanced around the room. “Very well. We will go forward with the plan. We will utilize the magic stored in the Cauldron, and pray that it is enough to defeat the Morrigan.”
“No!” I cried out, standing up out of my chair.
My protest went unnoticed, for I wasn’t the only one to make an outburst. Everyone, save for my mother, the Dagda, Nuadu and Lugh had burst forth from their chairs, shouting or protesting in anger or disbelief.
Cade, who had remained sitting next to me, tried to draw me back into my seat, but I shrugged off his hands. We could not borrow the magic from the Cauldron. What if those who had less magic in them, everyone except for the Celtic gods, fell in battle? They would die; they would be lost forever. Enorah, Cade . . . No. I gritted my teeth and fought the panic rising in my chest. No, they couldn’t take away the one thing that would keep Cade alive if he was lost in the fight. I couldn’t watch him die. Again.
My magic flared in response to my emotional state, and that’s when it hit me, above all the clamor and chaos, one resounding thought broke free. Cernunnos’s magic Meg, the secret you’ve been keeping all this time . . . perhaps now is the time to speak of it. You can use your extra magic and the Tuatha De won’t need to drain the Cauldron of its life-giving force. Cernunnos had said I couldn’t tell any Faelorehn men or women, but the Tuatha De weren’t technically Faelorehn, were they? And neither was Cade. He was the son of a goddess and the grandson of Lugh. Maybe that’s why Cernunnos had been so adamant about reminding me who I couldn’t tell. Perhaps he was trying to give me a hint. My eyes grew round and my hands, which had been clenched at my sides, stopped shaking. I licked my lips and opened my mouth to speak, but the words got caught in my throat. Something, instinct perhaps, stopped me short.
And then some unseen force made me whip my head around, my eyes hooking onto an earth-brown gaze. Cernunnos. Amid all the gesticulating arms and booming voices, Cernunnos sat in his chair, as still as a hunter in the forest, his arms crossed and his eyes trained on me. He didn’t send any words into my mind, something I was expecting at this point. He only kept me still with that death glare of his, his mouth cut in a grim line, and gave a small shake of his head. I knew what that meant. No, not now. Not yet. Remember, you must visit the Morrigan’s lair first. I didn’t hear the words, but I knew he would have said them if he needed to.
I fell back into my seat, dropping my face into my hands in despair. No. This had to be the time! It had to be! They could use my extra magic instead of the Cauldron’s.
No Meghan, that rich voice whispered across my mind, my glamour isn’t nearly vast enough to replace what the Cauldron can provide.
I wanted to scream and leap across the table. I wanted to take those stupid antlers and twist them and break his neck. But I couldn’t. He was immortal, in the most permanent sense. He could not be killed, no matter what. He was one of the elite few who would never die, even if taken down in battle or overcome by disease. My anger flared then, and so did my magic.
Calm down Meghan, do not let my power unfurl. Do not break your geis.
He sounded concerned this time, as if he really cared about my well-being. But I couldn’t help that my magic was getting out of control. I was so angry. And it was so unfair.
Meghan! he shouted into my mind, and I jumped this time, lifting my tear-stained face to look at him. He was glancing off to the side, but his jaw was tight, his face strained.
Do not lose control. I understand your pain and anguish, but you will have your chance to prove your worth yet, I promise you that. Do not give up the fight now. You are stronger than that!
His silent words hit me like a slap, not because they were harsh, but because they mirrored the very words my own mother had spoken to me only a few hours ago. Suddenly, I felt my magic draw back as my nerves calmed. At first I thought it was Cernunnos helping me along, but then I realized it was me. He was right. Danua was right. I was stronger than this. After living for seventeen years in the mortal world, oblivious to the life that waited for me in Eile, I had somehow overcome all my weaknesses and had proven myself capable of defeating every challenge thrown my way. Yes, this current obstacle was bigger and far more terrifying than all the others put together, but really it was my own terror that acted as a barrier. I could not let my emotions, my fear, rule me; I had to be practical; I had to figure out a way around this difficulty.
Cade distracted me from my internal pep-talk by pulling me close and stroking my hair.
“Hush, Meghan, hush,” he crooned softly into my ear. “Don’t be upset.”
Easier said than done, I thought. Then I gave myself a mental shake as I absorbed Cade’s comfort. Time to be strong Meghan, remember? I reminded myself.
I gave Cernunnos’s words some more thought and as my tears dried up and the shaking stopped, I realized his reminder had reawakened my determination. Fate was trying to steamroll me again, but I wouldn’t let it. I felt helpless and frustrated and angry, but I would take those emotions, give them their chance to run their course, and then I would stiffen my spine and face this thing head on. We were going to war, sooner probably than later, and we were going to drain the Cauldron of its power so that we had a better chance of winning. Several people would die, and we would not be able to bring them back. One of those people could be me, or Enorah, or Cade. I would just have to accept that. But I couldn’t forget, I had that extra magic hidden away, and Cernunnos assured me I would get my chance to reveal it to help those I loved. All I had to do was stay strong, trust that he was telling me the truth, and trust myself that I would know when it was time to let my magic free to enact its wrath upon the Morrigan.
As Cade rocked me gently, and as my mother and her fellow Tuatha De, the gods and goddesses of the Celts, continued their out of control argument, I breathed in deeply and told myself that I would, somehow and someway, defeat the Morrigan and get my brother back.
The Dagda left with his soldiers the next day in order to bring back the Cauldron. The rest of us remained cooped up in the castle for almost a week as we waited for his return. Outside, the sky remained slate gray and a mixture of ice and rain pelted the earth with vengeance. My mother tried to lighten the mood by providing entertainment, but the board games and music only just took the edge off of our anxiety.
At sundown on the fifth day, and an hour before the Dagda’s return, we received a message from the Morrigan in the form of the puca who had tried to entice me out into the open at Luathara. Seeing the goat man once more made my skin crawl, but luckily I was in the room I shared with Cade when the creature arrived. Despite the dismal weather outside, Cade opened the window so we could sit on the ledge and hear what it had to say. Danua, unfortunately, had to stand in the massive doorway of her castle and listen to the monster’s rattling voice up close and personal.
“Dawwwn tomorrooow. My Missstresss requests a meeeting to discuss the terrrms of waaar.”
“How can we trust her word?” my mother shouted over the patter of rain.
“Youuu have nooo choiiice. Answeeer naaay to this requeeest and she shall attaaack toniiight. Answeeer yeaaa and you will haaave a channnce to speaaak with herrr.”
There was a long pause before my mother said, “Very well. Tell your mistress we will meet her at dawn on the edge of her realm.”
That night, the entire castle sought their beds early, but despite my weariness and Cade’s warm presence, it took me several hours to finally fall asleep.
* * *
The sky had just begun to turn pale gray with dawn’s approach as we left the grand courtyard of Erintara behind. Despite the early hour, many of the city’s residents had risen to give us their blessings. Perhaps it was because the rain and sleet had stopped, even though the sky was still dark with more clouds building on the horizon. Or maybe they just knew we needed their moral support.
Lasair walked silently beneath me, his thoughts, like mine, kept to himself. All the other horses were also strangely quiet, as well as Meridian and Fergus. My spirit guide sat on my shoulder, but for once she didn’t have her head tucked under her wing. She kept her sharp eyes trained forward, her mind as still as the frosty air. Fergus kept pace with Speirling, his feet drifting quietly across the ground. The only sound that met our ears that morning was the sharp clipping of hooves against cobblestone. And then there was Cade, raging like a soundless storm beside me, his intense silence scraping at my nerves like a cheese grater.
I know you think this is too dangerous for me, I sent using shil-sciar, but I am more a part of this fight than most.
Cade growled, but I ignored him.
She can hardly do anything while I’m surrounded by Danua and her guard, I insisted.
We had had this argument already, out loud, in our room upstairs earlier this morning. I insisted on going with the Tuatha De to meet with the Morrigan, and Cade had forbidden it. Blinking at him in surprise, I had burst out laughing, telling him he could go ahead and try to forbid me, but he’d fail. For once I played the whole daughter-of-a-queen card and reminded him that I was a princess and technically outranked him because my mother was the high queen. In the end it took the Dagda’s intervention to first stop our fight and then get Cade to see reason. That had been a few hours ago and I still felt like we’d resolved nothing.
We traveled east for a few miles, passing through a wooded area, the trees bare of their leaves as they waited for winter. Not much conversation took place between the gods of the Celts and their soldiers, and I said nothing further to Cade. He knew how I felt, and even though he didn’t like my coming along with them, he understood why I needed to be at this meeting with the Morrigan. Cade feared that this was just another trap to draw me out and capture me. I couldn’t deny the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but the need to learn that Aiden was unharmed drove me despite my own nagging dread.
Gradually, the trees thinned and the land descended into a seemingly endless plain. In the distance I could just make out the white and violet tips of mountain peaks.
“The Morrigan’s realm,” the Dagda murmured, pulling his horse up next to Lasair. “Those mountains are miles upon miles away, but luckily we have the dolmarehn to bypass the distance.”
He nodded towards the massive stone structure that stood like a beacon about a hundred yards away.
I set my jaw and nudged Lasair forward as the small army continued to crawl eastward. It took us a few minutes to reach the dolmarehn and I noted that it was even bigger than the one on the hill behind Luathara. Cade tried to dissuade me once again, to turn me back, but I stubbornly shook my head and said to him, This is my battle as well. If I cannot fight to defend myself, then I hardly deserve to be Faelorehn.
Cade moved Speirling so that we faced one another. He stretched out a gloved hand and gently caressed my face, his own expression grim and forlorn. I just don’t want to lose you, Meghan.
I reached up and touched the back of his hand with my own. But you would leave me behind and go fight without me? So that I could wait in fear that you wouldn’t return? No Cade, we fight together, you and I. And this is just a meeting. We won’t be fighting today. I hoped.
Cade sighed and dropped his hand, curling it around my own.
“Besides,” I whispered hoarsely as we stepped beneath the cold arbor of the dolmarehn, “she has my little brother.”
* * *
Cold. The first sensation I registered when we came out on the other side of the dolmarehn was cold. And not just in the temperature sense of the word, though it was freezing, but in the down-to-the-depths-of-your-soul cold. From the way the Tuatha De and their soldiers tensed on their horses, I could tell they felt it too. I glanced at Cade. He had hardly changed, though the bleak cut of his mouth seemed harsher.
Cade? I asked him, reaching out with my mind.
I am used to it Meghan, was his reply.
I settled back in the saddle, stretching out a hand to reassure Lasair. He’d grown restless below me, just like all the other horses.
As we traveled across the rock-strewn, desolate land, I thought about Cade’s response. I am used to it . . .
It didn’t take me long to realized that the reason he was used to this awful place was because he had been here so often; because his old geis had required it. I turned my head and blinked up at him. Oh, my poor Cade. Without saying or sending a word to him, I reached out and touched his forearm. He tensed a little, but his face softened when he saw that it was me. I merely smiled, trying to put as much joy on my face as I could.
We traveled in silence, my mother and her retinue, the Dagda, Nuadu, Lugh, Cernunnos and Epona in her horse form. The clouds overhead continued to threaten sleet, and as we approached a rise in the dead land, I squinted my eyes to make out the dark band of earth that rested on its crest. My stomach churned and my skin became even more chilled when I realized what it really was. Faelah. Thousands upon thousands of faelah. And then the Morrigan came into view, along with another tall figure standing next to her.
Danua ordered us to spread out in a line to match the Morrigan’s formation and I stuck close to her and Cade as the other Tuatha De and their men and women dispersed.
My mother lifted her hand for us to stop when we were a hundred yards away, then she motioned for Cade and I to join her. As we closed the distance, gradually climbing the small incline, I gritted my teeth and forced my glamour to stay put. It sensed my unease and knew my enemy was near. Perhaps it had learned of her essence when it had driven her away last spring. In any case, I had to work hard to keep it, and the magic Cernunnos had given me, under control.
When we were a couple dozen yards away, Danua slowed her horse to a stop and we followed suit. Good. I didn’t want to get any closer to the Morrigan and the domineering man standing next to her. I took a moment to study him. Other than being tall, his hair and beard were black, his eyes the same color. He emanated an evil coldness that had my every instinct screaming at me to flee.
Before I could consider him any further, the Morrigan opened her mouth and said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “I called this parley in order to give you one more chance to hand over the girl and avoid war.”
I blinked up at her, wondering why she was even bothering with the pretense of striking a bargain. The Morrigan I knew took what she wanted and never kept her word.
“I would never volunteer one of my children over to you. I’ve seen what you’ve done to your own,” Danua retorted, jerking her head in Cade’s direction, “and I know what you have planned for my daughter.”
The Morrigan thrust her hands on her hips and glanced at Cade.
“Oh yes, my dear Caedehn. You broke your blood oath. It was never in our agreement that you use the Cauldron to undo what my Cumorrig had already done. I have something extra-special in mind for you.”
“And you broke your oath as well,” Cade retorted. “Meghan was to be left alone.”
“Well then, I guess we’re back to square one.” She sneered and turned her attention back to my mother. “Tell me Danua, is the daughter worth more than the son?”
Both my mother and I hissed at this, an instinctual response I was sure.
“They are both dear to me, Morrigan, but I will not trade one for the other, especially when I have no proof you have my Aiden.”
The Morrigan lifted one of her hands and a ball of red magic swirled above it, small wisps of scarlet shredding away from the sphere in the slight breeze. The orb grew and its center became transparent. As we watched, a familiar face peered out at us. Dark hair, bright blue-green eyes . . .
“Aiden!” I screamed, almost kicking Lasair into action.
Cade grabbed the horse’s reins before he could take a step.
“No Meghan,” he growled, his voice hard and authoritative. “That’s not Aiden, only a window to him.”
I cast Cade an angry look, but he returned it with a sad one. Fighting my anguish and my glamour, I settled down, then took a deep breath and glanced at my mother. Danua’s face had grown stony, her eyes flashing between their many hues; her own magic rising up to match the icy bite of our surroundings.
The Morrigan snapped her fingers below the sphere of magic and Aiden’s image disappeared.
“So, as you can see, I have him locked away, nice and safe, where none of you will ever tread. You can only get him back by handing over your dear daughter. Of course, you can meet me here tomorrow on the battlefield, if you wish, but with that option comes no guarantee you’ll see that half-breed son of yours again, win or lose. And there is always the chance you’ll lose your daughter as well, should you choose to fight.”
The faelah, which had been adding their own grunts and small squeals for the past several minutes, must have taken their master’s words as encouragement, because they chose at that moment to make their voices louder. The baying and howling clawed at my soul, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on the Morrigan and her companion. The tall man, Donn I decided, for who else could it be, stood with his arms crossed over his chest, the black leather pants and sleeveless gambeson he wore matching his hair and eyes perfectly. He looked like death warmed over, or more accurately, death anticipating a great party. In this case, I could only imagine that the party he waited for was the war that would begin in a matter of hours.
“I will not sacrifice one child for another. We will meet you in battle tomorrow Morrigan, Donn,” my mother nodded to both the Tuatha De standing before us, “and wipe your overbearing evil from this world for a good ten centuries.”
The Morrigan threw her head back and laughed, her curling black hair swirling around her as her magic flared. When she looked back down at us, her eyes were like brilliant rubies.
“I was so hoping that would be your choice. Oh, how I love a good battle! Tomorrow morning then, my liege.”
In the next breath, the Morrigan vanished in a dark red swirl of smoke, a giant raven taking her place. The black bird let out a cackling caw and flapped her wings, heading north and east into the mountains. I watched her, my heart pounding, my resentment building, my magic urging me to follow. No, not yet, I told it as it burned to seek revenge and save my brother. Tomorrow we fight.
Another blast of magic drew my attention back towards the line of faelah, and instead of seeing Donn’s silent, menacing figure, I spotted a huge black bull with burning eyes and an extra set of wicked horns. I gasped and tensed up, making Lasair dance below me.
“Don’t worry, Meghan,” Cade said in a low voice, “he won’t attack us today.”
Cade’s entire body was drawn taught, his muscles straining against his skin, his teeth clenched. It didn’t take long for me to realize he was fighting his riastrad. Yes, it would be bad for him to change at this moment; best to save his battle fury for tomorrow.
I reached up and ran my hand over his cheek, into his hair, murmuring his name until his wild eyes returned to their usual green. Once the initial aggression seemed to pass, he looked down at me. Cade grabbed my hand and pressed it against his face. I smiled as he took deep breaths and closed his eyes, the tension draining out of him.
“Thank you, Meghan.”
“I didn’t know if I could soothe you or not, but I didn’t think it would hurt to try.”
His mouth quirked into a smile and he said into my mind, Your presence always soothes me.
I pursed my lips and arched one of my eyebrows, thinking about our fight earlier that morning. Unless we’re arguing, I reminded him.
He smiled lightly and kissed my hand. Even then, having you near is a blessing.
The high queen and all the other kings and queens of Eile stood their ground, watching as the faelah burrowed into the earth or turned and scattered, chasing after the raven and the bull. When we were certain none were left and none would attack after we turned our backs, my mother ordered us to return to Erintara.
“We eat well tonight from the Dagda’s Cauldron and absorb the magic Eile has poured into it, and tomorrow we return to fight the battle of our lives.”
Everyone cheered and I couldn’t help but notice the warrior coming alive in my mother. Her dark hair whipped around her like a banner, and despite the fact that she wore a beautiful dress best suited for court, I could imagine her in a suit of armor and bearing a sword. I smiled, a small speck of pride growing in my chest. So, I guess my relationship with my birth mother was healing after all.
The journey back to Erintara was a dismal one. Everyone seemed to be geared up for a fierce battle, everyone except me. At first I had been ready to take the Morrigan on, but as we continued westward across her desolate territory, the fight in me gradually burned off to be replaced by overwhelming helplessness. We had only been given a quick look at Aiden, but from those few moments I could read the terror in his eyes.
I held my breath and clenched my teeth as we passed through the dolmarehn because the anger threatened to take root again. As soon as we were back in the courtyard of Erintara’s castle, I climbed down from Lasair. Cade was beside me in an instant, pulling me into his embrace. Like me, the tension coursing through him was almost loud enough to be heard. I immediately wrapped my arms around him, then buried my face into his chest and just breathed.
My mother’s guard and those of the other Tuatha De gave us our space as they moved about, handing their horses off to eager stable boys and making their way back into the castle.
“I’m sorry, Meghan,” Cade rasped against my ear, “but I just need to be close to you for a moment.”
Oh, you can take more than a moment, Cade, I responded.
He sighed. I’m so sorry about all of this. About Aiden, about my mother, about not being able to protect you well enough.
I pulled away just enough so that I could look into his face. His eyes were stark, his expression drawn. How much of this mess did he consider his responsibility? How long had he been accepting the blame for all of this?
Cade, none of this is your fault, do you hear me? I sent, my words painted with the harsh color of conviction. It wasn’t your responsibility to protect Aiden, it was my family’s and just because the Morrigan took him, it doesn’t make it their fault either. You don’t need to apologize for your mother. You are as much a victim of her evil as the rest of us. And I don’t want to hear any more of this talk of not being able to protect me. I’m far more capable of protecting myself than I ever was and you have already done plenty.
Can’t help it, he sent, kissing my temple gently, it’s instinctual.
I wiggled away from him just so I could get my next point across without getting distracted.
We fight tomorrow, Cade. Together. I don’t want you trying to send me off in order to protect me. Understood?
Yes, my Princess.
I punched him in the arm then grinned when he pulled me in for another close hug.
Before I could really get into the moment, however, the Dagda’s booming voice cut into our privacy. “Enough lollygagging in the courtyard everyone! Let me fetch my Cauldron and begin the ceremony. We’ll need all the power it can lend us, and it wouldn’t hurt to have one last celebration before tomorrow’s big fight, now would it?”
The men and women still lingering outside sent up an appreciative cheer. Soon, plans were made and messengers were sent to gather all those who would be taking part in the battle against the Morrigan and Donn tomorrow.
As the castle came to life with activity, Cade and I slipped upstairs to get ready. On our way, we learned that Enorah and her fellow fighters had arrived while we were gone. She had been put up in the spare room down the hall from ours, and when Cade and I were ready to head back downstairs, we first stopped to collect his sister.
When we knocked, Enorah opened the door with gusto. Her eyes gleamed and she gave us a wicked smile.
“I hear there is to be a party tonight,” she said after giving Cade and me one of her death hugs. “Come on, let’s get to it. I’m sure my men and women are already celebrating without us.”
By the time we made our way back outside, a huge fire had been lit with the Dagda’s Cauldron suspended above it. An aromatic steam rose from the great vessel and I caught a hint of beef and barley and onions. From the open castle doors, people poured out into the courtyard carrying baskets and trays full of fruit pies, fresh bread and everything else needed for the huge feast. My stomach growled in response and Cade gave me a rakish look.
It took quite a while for the stew to cook and as we awaited the meal that would feed not only our stomachs, but our magic as well, several people pulled out pipes and harps and fiddles. Cade drew me into a dance more than once and held me closer than what might have been deemed appropriate. For those several blissful minutes, I was able to forget about all that had been worrying me since coming to Eile. Thoughts of the Morrigan and her hatred of me, of my mother’s cold aloofness up until recently, of Aiden’s capture, of the burden of the extra magic I carried and kept secret . . . All of it seemed to vanish as Cade led me in one dance after another. For a few hours I was simply the Meghan I was before, carefree and unburdened by troubles greater than not fitting in. That afternoon I caught a glimpse of what my life might be like if we won the battle tomorrow and everyone I loved came out of it alive. Cade and I would be together, happy, not worried about what his mother might do next.
We were in the middle of a slow dance when the Dagda called for everyone’s attention. By now, the courtyard was crowded with men and women; all those from Erintara and those who had traveled with their Tuatha De king or queen to fight. Enorah stood off to the side with about twenty people dressed in the style of the Weald, all of them looking eager for tomorrow’s battle. Cloth-draped tables, weighed down with a variety of food and dinnerware, stood waiting against the courtyard’s tall stone walls.
As the cheerful murmur of voices died down, the Dagda lifted his arms and said in a loud voice, “I will now begin the ceremony to transfer the Cauldron’s power into the food we shall eat. Remember, if you feel a little strange after eating, that is perfectly normal. It is only your body absorbing the extra glamour.”
The crowd fell utterly silent, and we formed a large circle around the bonfire and the Cauldron suspended above it. Cade and I had managed to find a spot close to the Dagda, with my mother beside me and Enorah stepping forward to take a place next to her brother. The others were scattered about with their own people; Lugh and Nuadu were across from us, and next to them were Epona, Goibniu and Oghma. Much further out, Cernunnos watched like the silent tenant of the forest that he was. The antlered god caught my gaze and held it.
Soon, Meghan, his thoughts seemed to float on the air, soon . . .
I clenched my teeth and returned my gaze to the Cauldron. I was so tempted to curse Cernunnos for this so-called gift he’d given me. It had seemed to be more trouble than it was worth, but at least I’d get to finally set it free tomorrow during the fight. I only hoped it was enough to get Aiden back.
The Dagda lifted his arms, the strange silence of the courtyard and cold, damp breeze making room for his unmistakable presence. He closed his eyes and threw his head up to the grey clouds, muttering under his breath and slowly speaking the ancient words of Eile.
For a while, nothing happened, but then I felt it. A tiny reverberation that started in my core, making my bones vibrate. It was a strange sensation and I wondered if anyone else could feel it. Suddenly, the courtyard flared with a brilliant, violet flash of magic. It lasted no longer than a lightning strike, but I blinked my eyes and took several shallow breaths, as if the air had been driven from my lungs. When I’d managed to blink all the stars out of my eyes, I looked up at the Cauldron. A deep purple glow emanated from the thick soup it held.
The Dagda drew a few ragged breaths and I glanced over to see that he was slightly bent at the middle with his hands on his knees. Sweat beaded on his forehead and he looked genuinely tired.
“Dagda?” I asked tentatively, releasing Cade’s hand and reaching out to his foster father.
The Dagda lifted a hand. “I’m well. It just takes a lot of effort to pull so much magic out of the Cauldron.”
He glanced up and smiled at us. I returned the gesture, though my own smile felt a bit weak.
Eventually, the Dagda straightened and gestured towards my mother. “Your Majesty,” he said, his voice hoarse, “this is in your hands now.”
Danua nodded once to him, cast me a look I imagined was meant to give me strength, then climbed the stone steps that hugged the Cauldron. A biting wind ruffled her skirts and tossed her hair into dark streamers, but she remained steadfast as she inspected the men and women crowding the castle’s courtyard. Some were her own soldiers, others served under the Dagda, Nuadu, Lugh and Epona, away from their own realms to protect the wellbeing of all those living in Eile. Some were formally trained for battle, others were merely farmers and business owners who knew their high queen needed all the help she could get. Or perhaps they were too familiar with what could happen should the Morrigan get her way and seize Danua’s throne.
The people in the courtyard and the thousands more I could see crowding against the wide open castle gates grew still and silent as their high queen prepared to talk. Cade and I listened as my mother, with the diplomacy and elegance only a queen could possess, told her people about the common enemy they faced tomorrow. She explained that we fought not only to free ourselves of the Morrigan’s terror, but for the life of her other child, Aiden, as well. At the end of her speech, Danua gave her people the opportunity to step down if they believed this fight was not theirs. Not a single person turned to leave, and I was touched by their loyalty. It seemed they had finally forgiven my mother for loving a Fomorian warrior.
As the sun dipped below the eastern horizon, many of the soldiers worked together to remove the Dagda’s Cauldron from the fire. Several bundles of wood were thrown into the blaze and soon the flames were roaring higher and higher, lighting up the courtyard with their brilliance.
The party was just getting started, but I had no desire to stay. I wanted to be with Cade. I was resigned to accept whatever fate awaited me, but if either of us was destined to die tomorrow I wanted to spend as much time alone with him as possible.
Taking Cade’s hand, I led him through the throngs of people, their boisterous voices working in unison as they regaled the war stories of old. We were jostled and saluted as I pulled Cade behind me, heading for the stairs that would take us up to our room. The castle itself was crowded with random people high on the Cauldron’s power and the mead that had been passed around, but they paid no attention to us as we made our way upstairs.
Finally, I reached the door to our room. I threw it open, yanked Cade inside, and latched the door shut before reaching up and hooking my hand behind his neck. Cade let out a small noise of surprise when I jerked his mouth down to meet mine, but it didn’t take him long to realize my plan. Soon he had his arms around me and he was leading the kiss and I was following.
“I don’t want to feel anything else tonight Cade,” I breathed as I pulled away from him to get some air. “I don’t want to feel fear or sadness or regret. I only want to feel you.”
“Well,” he said, his own voice deep and raw with emotion. “I think I can arrange that.”
He kissed me again, his lips trailing down my throat, then lifted me up and carried me to the bed. For the next few hours Cade kept true to his word, banishing all of my worries as our glamour and our love took us to a place no means of magic could ever reach.
I jerked awake some time later only to notice that I was standing in the middle of a stone-littered field. My shoes were gone and I was wearing the clothes I’d had on the day before. Where was I and how had I arrived here? A cold wind drifted past me and I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, fighting the need to shiver. Maybe I had walked in my sleep again. If so, why hadn’t Cade woken up?
Something, a small sound or my own intuition, made me look up. I had been cold before, now I felt as if my body had frozen solid.
The Morrigan stood on that desolate plain with me, a dagger in her hand and a cruel smile on her lips. At first I was confused, but then I glanced beyond her and my eyes grew wide. I gasped as I brought both my hands up to cover my mouth. Cade . . .
He was naked and bound in chains, his skin pale and his eyes haunted, and surrounding him were two dozen Cumorrig.
I cried out and moved to rush towards him, but the Morrigan held up a hand.
“Ah, ah little Meghan. Make any sudden moves and I’ll instruct my pets to attack.”
I balled my fists, the bile rising in my throat. “What do you want?” I managed to bite out.
She sighed, as if immensely bored. “You know what I want. The same thing I have wanted since the beginning, and rumor has it you’ve been keeping . . . secrets. Tsk, tsk.”
My heart almost stopped as all the blood in my veins headed for my feet. Did she know about Cernunnos’s gift? How could she know? Even now I could picture my little spider, working away to keep my secret hidden. I took a deep breath and pushed my panicked thoughts aside.
“You have another chance Meghan, another chance to keep your loved ones from harm. Before Danua and her army awaken, I must have you in my custody. Turn yourself over, Meghan. Is it really worth all the pain and suffering the others will go through simply because you are too selfish to see the big picture?”
I clenched my fists, my arms shaking from fear and the cold. “You wish to use my power to harm others. How does sacrificing myself change the fact that many will still come to harm?”
The Morrigan regarded me with shrewd eyes. “As usual, you refuse to see things my way. Very well.” She sighed, then continued as if I hadn’t said a word, “When you wake, you will have exactly three hours to send word that you are on your way to the dolmarehn that separates my realm from Danua’s.”
“How am I to send word?” I asked, trying to catch her in a lie.
She only stared at me, her grin one of malevolence. “When you reach the edge of Erintara, you will know, believe me.”
That made absolutely no sense. Angry at her arrogance, I shouted, “And if I refuse to give you what you want?”
She smiled again, and my spine turned to ice.
“Oh, silly, sentimental little Faelorah. I would tell you I’d release your pathetic little brother, but I fear that wouldn’t be quite enough to ensure your cooperation, so, that is why I’ve set up this little insurance policy.”
She gestured towards Cade. He wouldn’t meet my eyes and I had the horrible feeling that his magic was nearly drained.
The Morrigan narrowed her scarlet gaze and continued, “The Dagda’s Cauldron can’t make your precious Caedehn whole again if you can’t find all the pieces. This is what will happen if you fail to obey my summons.”
She snapped her fingers and the closest Cumorrig lunged, clamped its jaw onto Cade’s shoulder, and tore away flesh and muscle.
I felt myself gag and the horrible vision vanished as I tore out of my deep sleep, screaming and choking on my sobs. As I came violently back to consciousness, a frosty whisper caressed my mind: Three hours Meghan . . . You have three hours to decide . . .
I swallowed back my horror, ready to release another scream when I felt strong arms wrap around me.
“Meghan! Meghan, what’s wrong?”
Cade. Alive, safe with me. I immediately hugged him back.
He rocked me gently in his arms and I clung to him, the way a starved dog clings to a bone. He ran his hands down my bare back, over my face, through my hair, speaking soothing words in his ancient language. When my hysteria began to subside, he kissed me, carefully at first, but I reacted, purely on instinct. I laced my fingers through his hair and pulled his mouth back down to mine, kissing him so hard he gasped in surprise.
I broke away but didn’t release him. Instead, we simply lay there on the bed, gazing at one another in the dark. Cade ran a gentle hand through my hair once again.
Tell me about the dream, my love, he sent with shil-sciar.
I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to force the images away. They had been so vivid; so real, and the last thing I wanted to do was relive them.
I’m alright now, honestly, I returned. You know how dreams seem so realistic when you’re lost in them. The edge has worn off.
Huh, liar, my conscience accused. That had been the most realistic dream I’d ever had, as if the Morrigan had somehow plucked me out of bed in order to force me to take part in her macabre little show-and-tell.
Cade pulled me in closer so that our bodies molded together. Instantly, the coldness that had been gathering just underneath my skin vanished as his body heat, and what I suspected was the gentle aura of his magic, permeated my senses. I sighed and tried to relax; tried to convince myself it had only been a bad dream. Unfortunately, every instinct I possessed warned me that it had been a message from the Morrigan, one I could not ignore.
I forced the dream to resurface. As much as I wanted to forget it, I had to consider it. The horrible goddess already had my brother, and if any of that dream had been true, then I could now safely say she would take Cade away from me again as well. She coveted my magic, and in order to get it she needed to strike at everyone I loved.
I tried to curl up into a pathetic ball of despair, but Cade shifted next to me. I could tell by his breathing that he was asleep, but he still wouldn’t release me. And that was how it would be. No matter what happened, Cade would not let me go. If I ignored the Morrigan’s message, then tomorrow, when we pitted ourselves against her and Donn and all the horrors they had at their disposal, Cade would have me as a constant distraction. He would protect me instead of focusing on the fight, and his mother knew this. She knew he would be an easy target, and he’d be the first one she would go after.
I bit my lip in order to keep it from trembling. Carefully, I extracted myself from Cade’s embrace so as not to wake him. Once I was free, I studied his face in the soft light of the dying fire in the hearth. When he was asleep, all the strain of this whole mess disappeared from his features. I felt tears prick at my eyes. It was all because of me and my family. He despised his mother more than anything, but because of me and Aiden and Danua, he would confront her once again.
Pain and anger shot through me then. Danua and I had been near enemies up until a few days ago and now I was on the verge of losing the family I had always wondered about. The family I belonged to. But the Morrigan had my little brother. Aiden, who had been so helpless in the mortal world, must be terrified and so confused. How powerless must he be here, in Eile? He must think he’s in a living nightmare, and he couldn’t let anyone know, not with his autism . . . But, my mother had said something about that earlier. Aiden wasn’t autistic after all. In the mortal world, his magic had been suppressed, so much so that he couldn’t even communicate properly with us.
Frustrated, I shoved my face into my pillow and let loose a silent scream. All the events of the past several weeks went swirling through my mind, as if a tornado had picked them up. Returning to Eile, the attack on Luathara, my four weeks in the Weald, learning about my magic with Enorah, Cernunnos’s strange visit and the imparting of his magic, the Lughnasadh party at the Dagda’s, the council with the Tuatha De, news of Aiden’s kidnapping, the draining of the Cauldron’s magic, the parley with the Morrigan and then her insufferable arrogance in my nightmare . . .
Around and around the thoughts went, scratching at the edges of my sanity until I wanted to tear out my hair. Gradually, the phrases of my memories became single words; Magic, Cauldron, Cade, Aiden, Secret, Sacrifice, Cernunnos, War, and the one that repeated itself the most: Morrigan.
Suddenly, my pain and anger honed themselves into a sharp point, one aimed directly at the goddess’s heart. She had been controlling Cade’s life, my life, for far too long. And then, in a powerful wave of realization strong enough to sweep the frantic tornado in my mind off course and force the air from my lungs, I understood what I needed to do. As the storm of confusion in my brain lost its bluster, a few words lingered before disappearing completely. It was something Cernunnos had said to me on that balcony the night he told me I had all of his magic, and then repeated at the council meeting with the Tuatha De: You must first visit the lair of the Morrigan before you can use my magic. . .
Hissing in a breath, I slowly sat up in bed, my eyes wide and my mind working once again. Only, this time I had full control of my thoughts. For several minutes I merely sat there, thinking hard, and finally, a plan began to form. It was as insane as it was brilliant; reckless, crazy, and dangerous as hell. But if I was right and it worked out, then I could save both Aiden and my new found family. Only problem was, there was a good chance I might not be around to enjoy those I hoped to save.
I looked over at Cade, his face relaxed in sleep. Tears spilled from my eyes when I thought about how my plan could go wrong. This could be the last time I ever saw him. No Meghan, if you are to do this you must be strong, you must be willing to let him go.
Silently, I crept out of bed, threw on a robe, and took up residence in the tall, stuffed chair closest to the fireplace. Three hours, the Morrigan was giving me three hours to hand myself over. Although I had already decided what to do, I needed some time to get the details straight in my mind. As the middle hours of the night slipped away, I fine-tuned my plan, going over every possible detail and outcome.
An hour and a half after waking from my terrible dream, I felt there was nothing else to consider; no stones left unturned. I just needed to remain patient and follow the script I’d so painstakingly put together in my head. Digging deep into the recesses of my memory, I collected the ancient words Enorah had given me when I’d created my little spider. I was going to need another one, one that would hide every thought connected to my plan. When I had accomplished that, I gathered up my courage and recalled another spell Enorah had taught me, the one that encouraged deep sleep, and padded silently back over to the bed. I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against Cade’s ear and focused a small cloud of my magic into a tiny pebble. I took a breath, drawing the speck of power up into my throat. As I exhaled, I spoke the ancient word that went along with the spell: codladh . . . sleep. I could feel the glamour traveling over my tongue, flowing into Cade’s ear so that it could take hold and keep him unconscious longer than what was natural. I hated to do it, but it was the only way to guarantee my getting out of the room without waking him.
As the tension eased out of Cade’s body and his breathing grew deeper, I leaned away from him. I sighed and ran my hand through his hair, down his perfect face, and over his shoulders. I studied his skin with my fingertips, memorizing every detail because I would need them to give me strength as I put my plan into motion. I counted his ribs, one at a time, and traced the dark ink of his tattoos. I felt fresh tears pool in my eyes when my fingertips lingered on the scars left by the Cumorrig that had killed him. I pulled my hand back and leaned forward, kissing him once on the mouth, just as I had done before leaving him in the Dagda’s care those many months ago.
“I love you,” I murmured.
His eyelids flickered, and for a moment I thought the spell hadn’t taken hold. I released a breath of relief when he settled back against the mattress. If Cade knew what I was about to do, he’d tie me to a chair and lock me in Danua’s dungeon until the battle with the Morrigan was over.
With careful movements, I crawled out of bed. Cade’s arms crept forward as I stepped away, his fingers seeking mine, but the spell held strong. I released the breath I’d been holding and quickly found my clothes and my warm cloak, pulling them on as swiftly and as silently as I could in the dark. Fumbling through my bags, I also pulled out Enorah’s dagger and some of the hawthorn arrows from my quiver. Pausing and glancing back at Cade, I quickly snapped a few in half, shoving the broken shafts down my boots. They might come in handy later.
When I was ready, I turned and glanced back at Cade. His huge frame took up most of the bed now that I was gone, his face turned towards me. Unconsciously, I reached my hand up to my throat and brushed my fingers over the torque that had been there since spring, the mistletoe bead on its leather string just below it. The torque and the charm could not protect me against the Morrigan, but they would bring me comfort because they had been gifts from Cade.
Last chance to change your mind Meghan, my conscience told me.
Oh, how was I tempted to listen to it, but I knew that if I wanted to save Cade and my brother and everyone else I loved, I had to do this. With one last silent prayer sent to whoever might be listening, I squeezed out the door and crept through the dark castle.
Luck was with me in those early morning hours because no one was awake, not even the guards posted at the kitchen door where I slipped out, or in the stables where I managed to saddle up Lasair in record time. At dawn the fortress would be alive with activity, my mother and the other gods getting their troops and all those willing to fight ready to march against the Morrigan. I would not be with them when they did.
As I led the red stallion through the dark city, a sleepy Meridian clinging to my shoulder and my heart pounding in my throat, I thought about my plan. So many unknown factors relied on its success, and I only hoped that my instincts proved correct. One thing I was counting on was the Morrigan’s greed and cunning. If the Morrigan wanted to take Aiden’s power, it would be easier to do so if he didn’t know how to use it. Since this was his first trip into Eile, I was betting on this fact and the remote chance the Morrigan hadn’t tried to get at it yet. After all, she needed Aiden whole and healthy in order to entice me and my mother into making a trade, and something told me that stripping him of his glamour would do far too much damage. Yet, if Aiden still retained all of his power and if I could somehow find a way to be alone with him, then perhaps I could teach him about his magic and then we could pool our resources and . . .
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the grating caw of a raven. Instantly, my senses came to life as Lasair whickered nervously and side-stepped on the road. Meridian clenched down with her claws.
Danger, she whispered into my mind.
Yes, I know, I returned, my head swiveling on my shoulders as I scanned our surroundings for a large, dark raven. I had been so caught up in my contemplation that I hadn’t noticed we’d reached the edge of the city. Ahead of us stretched the hilly, wooded farmlands of Erintara, behind us, my mother’s castle and Cade. Of course, the entire landscape was currently cloaked in darkness, but I could just make out the vague shapes of trees, hills and buildings.
The raven cawed again, snapping my attention forward. When I finally spotted it sitting in a nearby oak tree, I released a soft gasp. The bird was large, but not nearly as large as the Morrigan was in her raven form. And it was pure white. Nervous, I clicked Lasair closer, and the stallion obeyed me without any trouble.
Now that I was sitting just below the giant bird, I could see it better. The creature was blind in one eye, a great scar running down the side of its face, so it tilted its head to study me. That’s when I noticed the feathers covering its ears. Despite the darkness, I could tell they were red, just like Meridian’s. A spirit guide. And not just any spirit guide, the Morrigan’s spirit guide.
Fighting back the urge to blast it with my magic, I took a deep breath and said with a shaky voice, “Tell your master I’ve decided to hand myself over to her. I’m heading to the dolmarehn that will take me to her realm right now.”
The creature shook out its ghostly feathers and groaned out a long croak before flapping its wings and heading east, its pale form a stark contrast against the black sky. I heaved a deep breath and thought once more about what I was doing.
Once you step through that dolmarehn, there’s no turning back, my conscience told me.
I clicked my tongue and tapped Lasair with my heels. “Come on,” I murmured as a shiver shot through me, “I have a job to do.”
* * *
Beyond the outer reaches of Erintara and my mother’s kingdom, once the wooded and rock-strewn hills came to an end, there stretched a vast reach of nothingness. Well, it wasn’t completely empty. There were stones and a random shrub every now and again, and small hillocks and lots of thick, tangled grass and low spots where water collected into shallow pools or deep ponds. But the land itself was desolate and wind-torn. Meridian, Lasair and I had passed through the dolmarehn an hour ago, the same one we’d crossed through just the day before with the Tuatha De Danann and my mother. I had no idea exactly how long it would take me to get to the Morrigan’s castle, but I knew as long as I kept heading east, I would get there eventually. Until then, I had only my worrisome thoughts to keep me company.
Just before I’d urged Lasair through the stone gate, I’d heard Cade’s voice in my head.
Meghan?
He’d been curious at first, his words fuzzy at the edges, as if he’d just woken up. I shook my head and tried to ignore him. I imagined him lying in bed, reaching out for me before he was fully awake, the way he always did. But I hadn’t been there.
Meghan, are you with your mother? he’d continued.
I’d ignored him again, and planned to do so for as long as I could. I’d let him search for me, putting more space and time between us so that he wouldn’t come after me right away. No matter what, I couldn’t tell him where I was.
When he tried to reach me a third time, I wove a small shield of my magic and placed it around my mind, blocking out his words. It tore at my heart to do so, but I could not let his worry distract me.
That had been over half an hour ago, and I estimated another hour or so would get me to the base of those mountains. If the Morrigan’s spirit guide had brought her my message, then perhaps she would be waiting for my arrival. And it would be too late for Cade to do anything to get himself into trouble.
Eventually, the relatively flat land started sloping upwards and the great, jagged mountains I had been staring at for the past few hours jutted up before us in stark contrast to the rest of the landscape. Small growths of stunted, half-dead trees dotted the earth and just beyond them, spread out like a thick, black mist against the top of the rise at the base of the mountains, was an army of faelah.
Meridian screeched and took off from my shoulder and Lasair trembled beneath me, eager to charge at the monsters who were responsible for his sister’s death.
I was stunned. I knew the Morrigan had Donn’s unfathomable wealth of glamour at her disposal, but the endless legion of monsters waiting up ahead still surprised me. There were at least a hundred times more faelah here today than there had been yesterday, if not more. So this was the army my mother and the Tuatha De would soon be facing. And the Morrigan was apparently breaking her word again. Despite the fact that I’d practically offered myself up on a platter, she was still going to attack my mother and her people. I had dreaded this. Yes, I had counted this in as a possible outcome while I formulated my plot, but I had hoped my sacrifice would be enough to appease the goddess of war. Silly me; of course it wouldn’t be enough.
I gritted my teeth and fought against the well of pain growing in my throat. This complicated things quite a bit, but I still had other options. I had committed myself to this plan and I was going to see it through to the end, whatever that end might bring.
Lasair moved forward until we were only fifty yards away from the line of faelah. I could smell them, a horrible blend of death and rot and evil. They screamed in their ancient voices, snorting and cawing and growling and snarling, like a primordial roll of thunder, up and down the base of the mountain. The low fog from earlier had lifted, only to reveal a sky dominated by inky rainclouds. It wasn’t raining yet, but it could start at any minute. A cold, damp breeze pulled at my hair and blew the hood off of my head.
Suddenly, the monsters stopped their chatter and parted just in front of me. Behind them and extending far into the mountains was a deep, narrow crevice, and from its mouth strode a pale woman in a black dress whose skirts unfurled around her like living darkness. I swallowed hard and fought against my building magic. The Morrigan.
She walked with the grace and ease of a practiced warrior, all confidence and malice. Just behind her and to her right strode the tall, dark-haired man from yesterday morning’s encounter. He had his black leathers on again, and as they moved closer, I busied myself with counting the wicked weapons he carried. But it was his eyes that startled me the most. Black and sharp and crackling momentarily to silver when he looked at me. Power rolled off of him in waves and I suddenly felt trapped. I swallowed back the sudden horror that boiled up like acid in my stomach.
No Meghan, don’t let them see your fear . . .
I could feel Lasair reacting beneath me, anger and aggression pouring off of him. I slid from the saddle and turned to look him in the eye.
“Lasair,” I whispered as I leaned my forehead against his velvety nose, “I haven’t known you long but you have proven to be a brave horse, full of honor and pride. What I have to do I have to do alone. I need you to return to my mother’s castle and join the others. If we’re all lucky, there will be no fight today.”
The red stallion whickered his disagreement and dragged his hoof through the rocky soil. Somehow his thoughts reached me. He wanted to avenge his sister and protect me. He didn’t want to run like a coward.
“No,” I murmured, my voice growing rough, “you must do as I say.”
I put as much force behind my words as I could. Slowly, Lasair’s agitated state calmed. He backed away, threw his head in the air and reared up, screaming his irritation. But when he touched down he turned and fled. I breathed a sigh of relief, then turned my mind to my spirit guide.
Meridian, I said.
She dug her claws into my shoulder. No, she sent. Stay. Love. Protect!
Her own thoughts were full of despair and anguish and the lump in my throat grew larger. Tears formed in my eyes but I dashed them away. I could not look weak in front of Donn and the Morrigan.
They will kill you, Meridian. They will take you and strip you of your glamour. I love you too, but you must flee. Please! You must go and protect Cade. This is something I must do on my own.
With a heart-rending screech, Meridian threw herself into the air, crying out as she tore through the sky after Lasair. And then I was alone, accompanied only by the raspy grunts and restless shuffling of the faelah lined up behind me.
The Morrigan and her companion closed the distance between us and came to stand several feet in front of me.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my son’s little Faelorah come to pay me a visit. I’m pleased to see you got my message.”
She crossed her arms and smiled. The images from the horrible dream slammed into my mind and I winced.
“What took you so long to come calling, Meghan? You know my home is always open to you and I’ve extended an invitation more than once.”
She sketched a fake curtsy, gesturing towards the canyon from which she had just emerged. A strange babbling of haunted voices came rolling down the ravine at that moment, a hint of warning and suffering in their tones. My trepidation increased. The Morrigan shook her head and clicked her tongue as her army of faelah hissed and grumbled at me. Donn merely stood there like a statue, glaring at me.
I took a deep breath and decided I had best get this over with. “I’ve come for my brother.”
The goddess arched a perfect eyebrow. “Is that so? And do you really expect me to hand him over?”
“No,” I said, standing up straighter. “I’ve come to trade. Take me and let him go.”
The Morrigan had the good grace to look surprised. “Really? That is very noble of you my dear, and tempting, but you see, I don’t want to trade anymore.”
“Then what do you want?” I said, my teeth gritted.
She looked up at me, her violet eyes adopting a lazy expression. She smiled sweetly. It made me think of the scent of flowers in a morgue. It did nothing to mask her evil, or chase away my disgust.
“I want you both. Think of how strong I’ll be with two Tuatha De-Fomorian bastards, both of you ripe with boundless, untrained magic.”
“I’ll fight you,” I blurted, letting my control slip just a little.
The Morrigan laughed, but it was my turn to grin. “You weren’t laughing when I nearly destroyed you after my magic broke free the last time. If I remember correctly, you fled in your raven form before I could hit you with its full force. And that was before I learned how to control it. You should see what I can do now.”
Her smirk vanished and the look she gave me next could strip paint from the side of a fighter jet. I tried not to feel smug at the slight look of fear in her eyes. Don’t push this too hard Meghan; you have to give her just enough so she doesn’t suspect anything . . .
“So, you can take me willingly, or we can fight. I may not win, but even if you manage to kill me, I’ll be sure to take a good chunk of your entire army with me in the process. It will be easy for my mother and the other gods to defeat you then.”
There. That should make an impression. I only hoped my nerves would stop threatening to give out on me.
The Morrigan seemed to consider it for a while, but as the clouds swept by above us and as the faelah that stretched for miles began fidgeting and grumbling again, she looked back up at me, a wicked glint to her now red eyes.
“Oh Meghan, poor, sweet little Meghan. Do you know what your problem is? You have too many people that you trust and care for.”
She took a breath and glanced down at my neck, then flicked her gaze back up at me.
“That’s a beautiful torque you’re wearing my little witchling. You’ve grown awfully close to that abomination I so unfortunately call my son, and you’re here now because of him. What did he promise you? Wealth? Fame? You may get both from him, but he’ll always be his father’s son. He’ll feed you pretty words and shower you with gifts, but in the end he will always stray.”
I flinched hard, and she must have noticed.
“Oh, I see. He’s already begun the process of winning your favor, hasn’t he? The torque, your spirit guide, that horse you chased off . . . Need I go on? It won’t be long before you catch him with one of the serving girls of your mother’s palace. Or perhaps with one of the maids at that run-down hovel he likes to call a castle.”
I clenched my fists. Cade was not like that. He wouldn’t do that to me, to anyone. She is feeding you lies Meghan, she is speculating. Just because Cuchulainn got the better of her, doesn’t mean that Cade will follow after him. Don’t let her manipulate you!
I forced myself to calm down, then gave her a long, cool look. “You lie. He wouldn’t do that. I’m growing tired of your crap. Time to make a decision. Either you can let Aiden go and take me instead, or you can taste the fury of my magic and risk losing your entire army.”
Her red eyes flared even brighter for a moment, then she sighed and said rather boorishly, “Very well. I had hoped last night’s little preview would have been enough, but it appears I have no choice. It seems dear Caedehn means something to you after all, so I’ll repeat my previous threat, if you don’t mind. Perhaps it will sink in if you see the kind of power I now wield in person and not in your dreams.”
Oh no. This couldn’t be good . . .
“You know all about my sweet hounds, correct Meghan? You like to call them Cumorrig, and you’ve seen the damage they can do, especially if I feed them a little magic.”
I shivered as I recalled the nightmare from last night.
“Well, they are nothing compared to the Dotarbh.”
I stared at her, not sure what to say.
She sighed pleasantly and turned to her silent companion. “Donn, do you mind?”
The dark god nodded once and, without speaking, strode forward to stand in front of the Morrigan. He took a deep breath and let his arms drift casually from his sides. He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ground. The earth began shaking and all along the front line of the faelah, trailing off for miles on each side, small bumps in the ground began to form. The mounds grew in size until they were about as big as a horse, if not bigger. Then, with a final flourish of his arms, Donn released a silvery torrent of magic and the hills of earth burst open, revealing what grew within.
I almost screamed out loud. They were all identical, but my eyes were trained on the one closest to me. It was a bull. A giant bull with horrible, black horns and blood-red eyes, and there were so many of them. They opened their mouths and bellowed, revealing unnaturally sharp teeth and the same furnace-like throats the Cumorrig had. And like the Morrigan’s hounds, these bulls appeared to have been dead for quite some time. Their heads were nothing more than skulls covered in black hide, the rest of their bodies patched together carelessly. But I had no doubt they were strong, and there had to be well over a hundred of them.
“Magnificent, aren’t they? You see Meghan, the Dotarbh are Donn’s pets, and they will come in very handy when I march on your mother and my other fellow Tuatha De later this morning. But let me return to the point I’m trying to make. You have told me that unless I release your brother, you will use your power to destroy my army. Well, here’s what will happen if you do. You are powerful Meghan, I won’t deny that. But you aren’t powerful enough to fight me and my faelah and stop Donn and his Dotarbh. Their master has given them an order, you see. If you continue to refuse my demands, then they are to seek out my dear, charming son and, how did I put it?”
She cupped her chin in one hand and tapped her cheek with a finger as she looked up into the leaden sky.
“Ah!” she cried, then lowered her gaze and glared at me with such malice I almost fell to the ground. “Rend him limb from limb.”
“NO!” I shouted, unable to help myself.
“Yes, I will,” she spat. “You know I will. And he won’t stand a chance, you know he won’t. Even in his riastrad, he died fighting only ten of my Cumorrig. He will certainly perish against a few hundred Dotarbh.”
Tears stung my eyes, but I ignored them. “You said,” my voice rasped, “you said that if you had me, you’d leave him alone, that you’d leave everyone alone! So here I am, take me and do what you will, but call back your army and let my brother go!”
The Morrigan’s cruel laughter crackled through the magic-tensed air. “Foolish, foolish Meghan! When are you going to learn that I never stay true to my word? I have no honor and you cannot outsmart me!”
I shot the goddess a look of pure hatred. She knew my weaknesses far too well, but I knew hers also: she was far too arrogant for her own good, and that’s what I was counting on. I couldn’t have anticipated the Dotarbh, there was no way for me to know they were to be a factor in this horrible game. But all hope was not lost, at least not yet. Patience Meghan, patience. Your chance is coming soon . . . Cernunnos’s magic burned inside of me, but I tamped it down with my own as the spider worked to hide my thoughts. Yes, my chance was coming. I just needed to get into the Morrigan’s lair, find my brother, and then let that godly magic loose to wreak my vengeance.
“Come, come little girl, your sniveling bores me. Come join your little brother and I’ll leave Caedehn be. At least until he comes with your mother and her friends to confront my army. But by then you and that other whelp of Danua’s, and your wonderful magic, will be locked away safe where I can use it to replenish my own glamour after the fight.”
I hesitated for a split second. Every instinct in my body was screaming at me to turn and flee. Unfortunately, my heart was now running the show. If I wanted to save Cade, my mother and Aiden, I had to be willing to make this sacrifice.
“Surrender!” the Morrigan screeched, sounding like the raven she often embodied. “Your attempt at swaying me has failed and you cannot escape!”
Very well, I thought as I stepped forward.
Immediately, the faelah acted, several of them breaking free of their line and moving around to encircle me, locking the Morrigan and Donn in their ring as well. My heart leapt into my throat. Yes, I was doing this willingly and for the ones I loved, but that fact didn’t banish my instinctual desire to run. As the god of the dead continued to study me, I tried very hard not to squirm or break down into a full-out panic attack.
“Check her for weapons,” Donn said, his voice trembling with the raw power of an earthquake.
I sucked in my breath as the Morrigan turned her gaze on me. Her eyes flashed red once, and then I watched the dark cloud of her magic creep across the ground. The tendrils of smoky glamour poked and prodded me like fingers. When they got to the top of my right boot, the Morrigan chuckled, “What have we here?”
The magic worked its way down into my shoe, extracting the broken arrows I’d shoved there before leaving this morning. The tendril of power wrapped itself around the makeshift weapon and returned it to the Morrigan like some sick, ethereal tentacle. I bit my cheek. I had expected them to find Enorah’s dagger, but I’d hoped they would overlook the hawthorn.
The Morrigan eyed my rudimentary weapon and arched a brow at me. “What did you plan to do with these? Carve a whistle whilst in confinement?”
She let loose a soft snicker of amusement as her dark magic continued its job. When it moved up to my torso, I tensed. Under my shirt and wrapped securely to my back was the dagger. It was too obvious to miss, and if she had found the broken hawthorn shafts, then she would definitely find the knife. The black smoke caressed the blade and I closed my eyes slowly, waiting for the Morrigan’s cry of discovery, but the magic moved on in its search for more weapons. Finally, the smoke pulled away and returned to its wielder.
“Nothing more,” the Morrigan said to Donn in a bored tone.
I felt my eyes grow wide with surprise. Her magic had been all over that dagger. How had she missed it? Then I remembered how the blade had so thoroughly destroyed the faelah outside of the Dagda’s abode. Perhaps Enorah’s weapon was more magical than I’d previously thought.
I turned to the Morrigan, my face set rigidly in what I hoped was a mask of defiance, and felt an invisible rope of glamour bind my arms to my sides.
The Morrigan looked up at her partner. “I’ll just be a half an hour or so. If you want to start without me, I can catch up.”
The god of the dead looked up and narrowed his eyes. “I think I’ll join you in case she tries anything.”
The Morrigan snorted a laugh. “What could she possibly do now?”
Donn remained impassive.
“Fine,” the Morrigan snarled, “but first instruct your pets to lead my army onward. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up to them before we meet Danua and her allies.”
Before the Morrigan tugged me forward, I thought I heard Donn turn and mutter something in that ancient language the Faelorehn often used. The demon bulls, the Dotarbh, let out a resounding bellow that echoed up and down the line of faelah, then started forward, moving west. The Morrigan’s monsters quickly followed suit, a black, oily wave of death rolling over the land and covering it with their filth. The earth trembled as the army moved out, and I couldn’t tell if it was Eile herself protesting their existence or the result of so many feet marching in unison.
The ice-laced rain began to fall as we took our first steps into the crevasse I knew would lead us to someplace unpleasant. My magic shivered beneath my skin, but I held it back. We weren’t finished yet, oh no, not by a long shot. But when the time came, I would let all the magic I contained come boiling forth like a storm of vengeance.
Sending up a silent prayer to whoever was listening, I hoped I would see Aiden soon and that somehow, I was going to get us out before Donn and the Morrigan could destroy everything I loved.