Out the back of Waharoa, on the farms under the Kaimai Ranges, the paddocks are so steep that the cows’ and farmers’ legs grow longer on the downhill side. The trees and houses all grow longer on the downhill side, too.
Out under the Kaimais, they call morning and afternoon tea smoko. The smoko tables have longer legs on the downhill side so the mugs and plates don’t slide off. The farmers sit around the tables, drink their tea, and tell stories that are taller on the downhill side, too.
Some people say that the farmers out under the Kaimais pull each other’s legs, but the real reason their legs are longer on one side is because the paddocks are so steep. It’s what scientists call an interesting natural phenomenon.
If you’re not interested in natural phenomena, you’d better skip this page and start on the next one. Whatever you do, don’t go and watch telly, or your brain will soon look like a potato that’s been boiled too long. And that’s an interesting natural phenomenon – if you can be bothered being interested.
Yours Respectfully and Disrespectfully Respectively,
Jack Lasenby.