Robb
So much for my big plan to fight the curse. I always knew that in the end, it would break me, kill me, but I made the decision to fight it the best I could right before Bellanore showed up and laid that massive bombshell at my feet.
The demon I’m supposed to kill is her dad.
Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
Seeing her rummage through my trunk, for her to look at the dress and side-eye it… This isn’t how I wanted things to go down. I thought maybe I could bring her here, show her the dress, my dad’s hat, Rickard’s bat… I could tell her the full story about how my entire pack had been killed, not just my family.
Now, who knows if she’ll be willing to listen.
“We aren’t done,” she said, but she doesn’t mean us as a couple. As far as she’s concerned, we’re over.
I could see it in her eyes, her glowing green eyes. Those haunting orbs glow because of her demonic side. At least, that’s my assumption. My eyes didn’t always glow. That started with the curse.
I’m going to die with my eyes still glowing. Will my death make that glow leave? I won’t ever know the truth to that.
I’m beside myself, and I don’t know what to do. I know more about the demon I’m supposed to fight, but that’s not saying much. How can I even think about going up against Bellanore’s dad? He’ll want to kill me just because I’m dating his daughter.
Dated. I dated his daughter.
Bellanore Shade. I had no idea the demon was Ronath Shade. Even when I looked him up on supes.com, I hadn’t learned his last name. Everywhere, he’s just known as Ronath. There aren’t any pictures of him, so I don’t know what he looks like. Does he have black hair like his daughter? Does he also have a few white strands? Or maybe she favors her mom, the one she wished died instead of my mom.
I’m sure she doesn’t feel that way anymore, now that she suspects I only got close to her because of her demonic side so I can try to what… learn about demons and their weaknesses? Yes, I asked her about her demonic abilities, but that’s because I’m interested in her. I’m interested in Bellanore. She gave me a reason to want to fight the curse in the first place. She gave me a reason to want to live, to keep breathing.
The curse weighs heavy on me. I didn’t need to know from Zaun that my clock is ticking. My wolf is dying. I’m dying. The only way Zaun will save me is if I do his bidding.
A lone wolf dies. Wolves need their packs.
A normal werewolf would be able to join another pack potentially after being kicked out of their pack, but I’m not a normal werewolf. I can’t do that, and even though I consider Bellanore my pack, she no longer feels the same. It’s possible she might’ve before, but not now. Not anymore. My past has caught up to me.
Loud banging at my door has me jumping to my feet. A wave of dizziness washes over me. It can’t be Bellanore. She won’t want anything to do with me, but that knock sounds desperate.
Before I can decide if I want to open the door, it flings open wide enough to hit against the wall. I inhale sharply as Roald Jagger strolls in.
My upper lip curls back in a snarl. We’ve butted heads more than a few times already, and I’m not interested in dealing with him and his nonsense right now or ever again for that matter.
“Leave,” I tell him.
“Oh, am I not welcome here?” Roald mocks. “Ask me if I care what you think.”
“You really want to have a go at me again?” I ask.
“I don’t see your little demonic girlfriend hanging about. She won’t be…” He pauses and tilts his head to the side. “You winced when I… Did she drop your pathetic—”
“You better shut your trap right now,” I snap.
“Your bark is worse than your bite,” Roald says haughtily, lifting his chin. “Come on. Let’s settle this once and for all.”
“You want to fight me? Why?” I demand. “What’s the point?”
“You think you’re so tough. That scar doesn’t prove anything. I bet you gave it to yourself.”
“Yes, because people always claw themselves to the point of nearly gouging out their eyes.” I roll them. It always feels a bit strange when I do that because the scar puckers some from the movement.
Roald spreads his legs apart, bending his knees slightly, getting into a fighting stance. He seriously wants to do this here? Now?
“You didn’t answer me,” I say. “Did you forget the question already? Why do you want to fight me?”
He narrows his gray eyes. “You dishonored one of mine. That’s the same as dishonoring me.”
“Dishonoring… You do realize that Nia is going to claw you in the back, don’t you?”
“That’s what you would do, not her. You don’t understand. We’re a pack.”
“You are no leader.”
“You take that back,” he roars.
I smirk. If he comes at me, if he fights me… I’m not sure I’ll survive. It’ll depend on how far he wants to go, and honestly, I’m pushing him enough that he’s going to want to kill me.
Maybe I deserve that. I shouldn’t be here. My pack is dead. I should just give up, stop fighting, and accepting my reality.
I have no future.
All of the Aline pack will be dead. We’ll just be another statistic, another pack to become extinct. We won’t be the last, but it’s our time. Our number’s up.
Bellanore’s dad won’t be in danger. She can move on, find someone else…
The thought makes my stomach twist, and I let out a low growl.
Roald eyes me. He thinks I’m gearing up to fight him, but that’s not the case. He’s a non-issue.
The thing is, if I don’t do it, Zaun the demon will just find someone else to go after Ronath instead. Maybe he’ll even do it himself. I don’t know what the demons are after, what they want in the long-term, but I wish I wasn’t caught up in any of this.
If I hadn’t killed that drow…
If I hadn’t, I would be dead right now. Bellanore never would’ve met me. She never… She never would’ve fallen in love with me.
Because she confessed that before Zaun showed up.
And I didn’t say it back.
I can’t feel. I can’t feel love or hope or excitement or anger or fear or fright. Nothing. Sometimes, I pretend I can. I’ll even act like it, but I don’t actually feel it.
That’s what leaves a lone wolf first, your feelings. You’ll slowly become a husk of yourself until there’s nothing left, an empty carcass, and then you’ll rot away to nothing at all, just a bit of dust.
I never should’ve tried to befriend Bellanore. I never should’ve dated her.
And I never should’ve made her fall in love with me.
I hadn’t thought that possible. I mean, the more I got to know Bellanore, the more special I realized she is. Why the others won’t see how amazing she is because of her demonic side and not in spite of I don’t know. Their loss.
My gain.
Only I shouldn’t have gained her, not her trust, not her love, not her company.
Nothing.
I deserve nothing.
No. I deserve death.
Actually… I felt something when I heard Bellanore’s declaration. I definitely felt shocked.
And then, I felt something much worse.
Guilt.
I felt guilty for tricking her because she shouldn’t have loved me. She can’t love me. I don’t deserve it.
Roald’s nostrils flare, and he runs his hand through his black hair before crouching back down and settling into his fighting stance. “Feeling guilty about how you’ve treated and talked smack about Nia, huh?”
There’s not enough room in here for a brawl, and Roald knows it. He lunges, and I move to the side, only he’s not gunning for me. As he leaps into the air, he transforms into his wolf, and he shatters the window and falls onto his feet on the grass outside.
My room is one story up, and I don’t even know at this point if I can transform into my wolf. Besides, I’m still armed from wanting to go after the demon.
Which is laughable. All I knew was his name. I didn’t know where he lived. My plan would’ve been… I never formulated one because Bellanore showed up, but most likely, I would’ve had to start asking around about Ronath. Rhonda Rainbow, my fairy friend, she might know something. I’ve considered asking her before, but I didn’t want to involve her. I still don’t.
There’s nothing to be involved in now.
It would be all too easy to ignore Roald, to not bother with this farce of a fight that he wants to bait me into, but when I turn to my door, Decker Winds and Elliot Snowblood are both there, blocking me in.
I scowl. “He wants me to fight him? Fine. I’ll go down to him.”
“There’s the window,” Elliot says, pointing to it as if I’m a moron.
“I’ll go down the stairs,” I counter.
Elliot opens his mouth to argue.
Decker elbows the blond werewolf in the stomach. “If he wants to go down the stairs, let him go. We can follow him and make sure he does.”
Elliot rolls his brown eyes, but the two goons step aside to let me by.
It’s a matter of trust to walk past them, to have my back to them, but I almost trust Decker. I haven’t spoken to Elliot much one-on-one. Decker’s afraid of Nia. That much is clear, but I think Decker has a conscience. If push comes to shove, will his conscience win, or will fear? That’s the issue because Nia thrives on fear.
They follow me outside. Roald is waiting, pacing in a tight circle, the grass beneath his paws already matted down. When he sees me, he draws back on his haunches and springs forward.
I’m not feeling the fight, not at all, but I’m not about to back down, and I’m already armed. Right before Roald can jump up to rip out my throat, I allow the daggers up my sleeves to fall into my hands. I slice at him, nipping his nose, causing him to bleed, jerking just enough out of the way to avoid his gnashing teeth.
But I forgot about his claws, and they slash against my chest. It’s superficial, but I’m so wounded already from the effects of the curse that I stagger back.
Decker races forward, coming between us, declaring Roald the winner, and I don’t care. As long as it’s over.
Roald, the so-called leader of the rough crowd who adopted me and now seems to have kicked me out, turns back into his human self. Decker wraps his arm around Roald’s neck, and Elliot comes up to their leader too. Decker’s the only one to acknowledge me, with a simple nod.
Whatever.
By the moon, this hurts more than it should. Who wants to bet this will leave a scar too?