Robb
When I wake, I can smell food. I don’t want to eat, but Bellanore is hovering, and I know she’s worried, so I force myself to choke down a few bites. And I do mean choke down. Swallowing is becoming a chore, and my chest burns. Each of the claw marks feels as if they’re cutting deeper into my skin even as I sit there, and there’s nothing to explain why I feel that way. The wounds are all still stitched, but I feel as if I can barely breathe. My breathing is labored, and I just feel terrible.
“You’re so pale,” Bellanore murmurs. She goes to hand me a cup, but then she holds it up to my mouth, and I drink. “Do you feel any better?”
The water is lukewarm and tastes disgusting. I must grimace unintentionally because she frowns and moves the cup toward her lap.
“I didn’t know if cold water would be bad for you,” she murmurs. “Robb, I don’t…”
“What is it?” I ask, shifting some to get more comfortable. My body is all sore and stiff from sleeping in an awkward position last night.
“You aren’t healing.” She bites her lower lip.
I hate seeing her so worried, and I try to reach for her hand, but I miss. She almost smiles and places her hand on mine.
“It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”
“But…”
“Do you like my scars? Do they make me seem mysterious?” I try to grin. “Some girls find them sexy, right?”
“I’m not some girl,” she says stiffly. “I don’t like that you’re hurt and that you aren’t healing.”
“I’ll heal. I’ll scar, but I’ll heal. It’ll just take longer.”
“It’s like… It’s like you’re human,” she says, her brow furrowed.
“Is that such a terrible thing?”
“It’s not the worst thing in the world, no, but, Robb…”
I groan. “Don’t nag.”
“I’m not nagging. You want me to? I’ll start,” she warns.
“No, better not.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“Don’t you know what guys do when women nag?”
“They stop listening.”
“Bingo.” I grin. “You don’t want me to stop listening to you, do you?”
She huffs and crosses her arms. “Um, when have you ever listened to me?”
“I’m offended. I listened to you…”
“Ha! You can’t say!”
I hold up a finger. “I heard you when you said, ‘I love you.’”
Bellanore’s eyes widen. “You didn’t say it back.”
“Because you weren’t supposed to fall in love with me. I was weak and frankly… terrified. You were amazing—”
“You didn’t seem to think so at first.”
I grin recklessly, trying to look and sound much better than I feel. “Who knew that first impressions are so vastly overrated?”
She giggles.
“It was one thing for me to fall for you, but you… I always knew how my story would end. I just thought it would’ve ended already.”
“Please, Robb, don’t say that,” she begs. “Let’s go. We can leave campus and see a witch about healing you. Maybe then you won’t scar. From there, we can—”
“You never got any money from your dad, so how would we pay this witch? You have a witch in mind? Because I don’t know any, and I don’t think I can risk trusting any.”
“Why not?” she asks. Her eyes go back and forth, staring intently at me as if searching for something deep inside me. I don’t know if she finds what she’s looking for or not, but she seems to relax a little.
“If they sense the curse, if they realize what I have to do… Not all witches are good.”
“And you’re worried that if I’m around, with my being a half-demon…”
“It’s not worth the risk involving more people,” I say to skirt around the issue.
She grimaces. “But—”
I make a show of looking at my wrist even though I don’t wear a watch. “Isn’t it time for you to be going?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Bellanore inhales. “If you think I’m going to leave you—”
“Bellanore, you should do the Grand Hunt.”
“But—”
“If you say ‘but’ one more time…”
Her eyes don’t just glow. They sparkle. “You’ll what?” she asks with a wide grin.
“I’ll get back at you for all of those times you hit my arm or punched me.”
“Have I ever punched you?” she asks. “If I ever did, it was playful.”
“So it’s all right if a girl hits a guy playfully, but he can’t do the same?”
“Maybe.” She winks and goes to open her mouth but then shuts it.
I laugh. It feels so good to laugh even though I feel like…
I feel like I’m dying.
“You were about to say ‘but’ again, weren’t you?” I ask.
“You’ll never know.” She lifts her chin, but she can’t hide her smirk.
“There’s no reason why you shouldn’t have won the Grand Hunt last year,” I inform her.
“Using my demonic abilities would’ve been cheating,” she protests.
“You’re still an amazing hunter even without using them,” I point out.
She glances away. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone. Maybe I can ask—”
“No.”
“Ellamaria—”
“Doesn’t like me.”
“That’s not true,” Bellanore protests.
“Does she know what’s going on between us?”
“Do we know what’s going on?” she counters softly.
“There’s nothing to know,” I say.
She winces. “You’re just trying to push me away,” she says.
“Why would you think that?” I ask faux innocently.
Bellanore rolls her eyes.
“You can’t tell me you don’t want to.”
“I do,” she admits.
“Then go.”
“But…”
I grin and rub my hands together.
She grins and then ducks her head. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you.”
“You said that already. That’s how you know a conversation is over, when it goes around and around in a circle. Don’t fight me. Go.”
Bellanore, unsurprisingly, makes no move to leave. She hasn’t left my side at all except to get food, but she’s teleporting, so that barely counts as leaving. There weren’t any classes today, so the students can prepare for the Grand Hunt tonight.
“I won’t forgive you if you don’t go,” I inform her.
“I can live with that,” she says with a shrug.
“I won’t forgive myself if I’m the reason why you don’t.”
She juts out her chin. “That was low.”
“No. What’s low is using me as an excuse. You aren’t going to go out there and show everyone what a skilled a hunter you are? Why? Are you scared that you aren’t the best? Do you think a third year will beat you? Why don’t you prove to everyone, including the bullies, that you shouldn’t be messed with?”
Bellanore hangs her head.
“Are they still bullying you?” I ask.
I haven’t been around to see it, so I honestly have no idea.
“It’s not as bad as it was last year,” she mumbles.
“So it is still going on.”
“You don’t need to concern yourself with that.”
“Yes, I do. What happens to you happens to me.”
“hmm. In that case, it seems like there is something between us.”
My nostrils flare. “You’re supposed to hate me.”
“Sorry.”
“Hate is what demons do.”
“So cliché.”
I grin. “You’re impossible.”
“Funny,” she murmurs. “I was just thinking that about you.”
“So you’ll go?”
She hesitates.
“It’s not like I’m going to take part in it. Just about every student in the academy will be doing it. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll be fine.”
“It’s the ‘just about every student’ part that has me worried. What if Roald comes back around?”
I scowl. “Was he bragging?”
“No, it was just a hunch that you conveniently confirmed.” Her eyes flash, and for a moment, she looks perfectly demonic, and it makes me like her even more.
I like her in part because of who she is, all parts of her, both her werewolf and demon sides. She’s strong and capable, stubborn and ambitious, a fighter, a hunter, a go-getter. How she’s the target of bullying, I’ll never understand, but I think bullying has a lot more to do with the culprit instead of the victim.
“He’ll take part,” I say even though I have no way to know if that’s true or not.
“I just…”
“You wish things were different. I do too, but…” I grab her hand. “Bellanore, I know this is going to sound sappy and probably stupid, but I’m glad I met you, and the only way that would’ve ever happened is if Dural killed my pack and for Zaun to send me to kill Ronath. Otherwise, I had no plans to attend here.”
“What were you doing instead?”
“Honestly?” I give a half-smirk. “I was debating enrolling at Paranormal Hunters Academy. I missed the deadline to register, so I would’ve started at seventeen instead of sixteen.”
“You started last year late, though.”
“I pulled some strings.”
“What strings?”
“Money talks.”
“Where did you get the money from?”
I lower my head. It’s not something I want to talk about, but she does love to ask questions. “If I answer, will you go?”
“That’s—”
“Plenty fair,” I growl.
Wordlessly, she nods.
“I sold my house and used most of the money to grease the wheel.”
“That’s terrible,” she says with a gasp.
“Yeah, well, Headmaster Virgil Thorn isn’t the best of leaders. I think an alpha should be in charge.”
“He has the presence of one.”
“Yeah, but despite his measures and his lockdowns, werewolves and vampires are still fighting. There’s no control here. He doesn’t know that students were making poison on campus. He’s clueless.”
“I suppose that’s true,” she admits.
“What’s that?” I ask, cupping a hand behind my ear. “Want to say that again?”
She laughs and gently nudges my shoulder. “If you’re trying to get me to say ‘you’re right’—”
“You just said it. Music to my ears.” I clasp my hands to my heart. “I can die a happy man.”
“You aren’t a man.”
“I’m a dying werewolf.”
Not what she wants to hear, I’m sure.
“A promise is a promise,” I tell her. “You’re not demonic enough to have your word mean nothing.”
She groans. “You know me too well. If they come back, Robb, I’ll be here. You won’t have to face them alone.”
“How?” I ask, curious. She’s so certain she’ll know.
“I can sense your emotions from afar.”
“That so?” I rub my chin. “And how do I feel now?”
She grimaces and huffs as she crosses her arms.
“Agitated that you’re still here. Yes, that’s right.” I wink. “Go.”
Bellanore hesitates but then kisses my forehead and leaves.
Now that she’s gone, I can stop trying to project a sense of getting better. I’m not recovering well at all, but I do doubt the others will come by. For now, I just need to sleep and hope to the moon that I’ll wake, that the grim reaper won’t come to take me away just yet.
I have more life to live yet.
I hope.