Chapter Thirteen
It was just a coincidence that Elmer and Wang were going into town at the same time as Turley, Malcolm, and Dobbins. Elmer and Wang were on a mission to buy a new sucker rod for the windmill. Elmer was driving the wagon.
“You think Mai Lin will be the one to serve us?” Elmer asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. She’s got a hankerin’ after you, Wang. ’N she always treats us real good.”
“Yes,” Wang said.
“She’d make you a good wife, you know. And she’s a pretty thing, too.”
“It is not good for a Shaolin priest to marry.”
“But you ain’t really a Shaolin priest no more, I mean, not since you come to America.”
“Wherever I am, I will always be a Shaolin priest.”
Elmer nodded. “Yeah, I reckon you’re right. ’N I can understand about you not gettin’ married. It’s like Duff not marryin’ Miss Meagan, though someday he might. ’N it’s like me not marryin’ up with Vi.”
Vi Winslow and Elmer often kept company.
“Wonder what ole Le Fong has cooked up today.”
“You will like it,” Wang said.
“How do you know I’ll like it?”
“Because you are always hungry, and all food tastes good to the hungry mouth.”
“That’s another one o’ them Chinese sayin’s, ain’t it?”
“I am Chinese and I did say it,” Wang replied with a smile. “So, yes, you might say it is a Chinese saying.”
Elmer was saved from having to come up with some clever retort by the fact that they had arrived at Guthrie’s Building Supply.
“All right, you wait here, I’ll go in and buy the sucker rod,” Elmer said as he climbed down from the wagon. “Then we’ll go down ’n let you ’n Mai Lin make eyes at each other.”
* * *
A short time thereafter, Turley, Malcolm, and Dobbins arrived in town and as they rode up Clay Avenue, they saw Wang leaning against the back of the wagon, with his arms folded across his chest.
“Look at that damn Chinaman, just a-standin’ there like he owned the damned place,” Malcolm said.
“Hey, Chinaman!” Dobbins called. “What are you doin’ standin’ out here in front of a white man’s place of business? How come you ain’t doin’ laundry?”
Malcolm laughed at Dobbins’s “joke” but Wang paid no attention to the taunt.
“What’s the matter, Chinaman? Are you deef ?” Dobbins asked.
Wang didn’t even glance toward him.
“Damn, Dobbins, looks to me like the Chinaman is ignorin’ you,” Malcolm said.
“What the hell? Don’t you hear me talkin’ to you, you yeller-skinned bastard?”
“Come on, Malcolm, Dobbins, we come into town to get some hub grease, ’n maybe have a drink,” Turley said. “We didn’t come into town to yell at Wang. I know him, he’s a good man.”
Malcolm dismounted. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere till I get this heathen bastard to talk to me.”
“Maybe he don’t talk English,” Dobbins suggested. He dismounted as well.
“Oh, he speaks English, all right,” Elmer said, coming out of the hardware store at that moment, carrying the long sucker rod. He put the purchase in the back of the wagon.
“Why is it, then, that he isn’t talking?” Malcolm asked. “Why is it that we’re doin’ all the talkin’?”
“He who knows most speaks least. He who knows least speaks most,” Wang said.
Elmer laughed.
“What?” Malcolm asked angrily. “What the hell did that Chinaman just say?”
“I think he just said you don’t know nothin’,” Dobbins said.
“Ahh, come on, you two,” Turley said. “Leave Wang alone. The Chinaman ain’t botherin’ nobody.” He glanced toward Elmer. “I’m sorry about this, Mr. Gleason.”
“Mister Gleason? You’re callin’ that ole coot, mister?”
“I am.”
“Well, maybe me ’n Dobbins will just have to take care of Mister Gleason after we take care of the Chinaman.” The two men dismounted.
“Now, boys, I don’t think what you’ve got in mind is such a good idea. Trust me, it ain’t goin’ to turn out well for you,” Elmer said.
“It ain’t goin’ to turn out well, huh? What do you say about it, Chinaman? Is it goin’ to turn out bad for us?” Malcolm teased.
“A wise man thinks twice and acts once. A foolish man acts without thinking,” Wang said.
“Now, what the hell does that mean?” Malcolm asked.
“I think he just said you was a fool,” Dobbins said.
“We’ll just see who is a fool after we whip your ass,” Malcolm said.
“No, you won’t,” Elmer said with a little chuckle.
“What do you mean, ‘No, we won’t’? No, we won’t what? ’N what are you laughin’ at?” Dobbins asked.
“What I mean is, no, the two of you together cannot whip Wang’s ass. Now, why don’t you boys go on about your business?”
“Not until we take care of business with this here Chinaman,” Malcolm said.
“Don’t say you weren’t warned.”
“You’re an old man, ’n this Chinaman ain’t no bigger ’n a gnat’s ass. Are you tellin’ me that you’re goin’ to stop me from whippin’ up on him?”
“There’s no need for me to help. Wang can take care of his own self.”
“Really? Well, we’ll just see about that,” Dobbins said.
“Yeah,” Malcolm added. “I think this Chinaman needs to be taught a lesson.”
“You boys is kind of slow to learn, ain’t you?” Elmer asked.
“Let’s go,” Turley said. “You have no business doin’ this.”
“We’ll be along in a minute,” Malcolm said. “Soon as we’ve taught the Celestial a lesson he ain’t soon to forget.”
Warily, Malcolm and Dobbins moved toward Wang, separating so that they were approaching him from either side. Wang had not moved, nor did he appear to take any notice of the two men who were now advancing toward him.
By now almost a dozen citizens and visitors to the town, who were in the vicinity of the showdown when it started, had gathered to watch the drama play out before them.
“Oh, somebody do something,” a well-meaning lady said. “Those two men on that one little Chinaman? This isn’t fair.”
“I don’t know, ma’am,” one of the spectators said. “I kinda got me an idea that the Chinaman can take care of himself.”
“There’s no way that he can,” another said. “Two of ’em against one? And the Chinaman ain’t very big, as you can see.”
“I’m tellin’ you one last time, ’n for your own good. You two men had best leave him alone,” Elmer said.
“Old man, you just wait your turn. After we take care of this Chinaman, I’m goin’ to personally settle your hash,” Malcolm said.
Elmer chuckled. “Oh, now, you see, that there just proves that you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. On account of there ain’t a-goin’ to be no ‘after.’”
“Ha, the Chinaman don’t hardly talk none at all, ’n you talk too much,” Dobbins said.
“I reckon that’s so,” Elmer said. “Wang, I’m going to step into the drugstore here ’n get me some cough medicine. Soon as you get through with these two fools, we’ll go have our dinner.”
“You will get some lemon drops?” Wang asked.
Elmer chuckled. “Yeah, I’ll get you some lemon drops. Damn, if you ain’t like some kid, wantin’ lemon drops all the time.”
“I like lemon drops.”
Elmer stepped into the drugstore.
“What are you wantin’ lemon drops for? You ain’t goin’ to have no teeth when we’re finished with you,” Malcolm said.
“Hell, Malcolm, you don’t really need no teeth for lemon drops. All you got to do is suck on ’em for a little while till they melt,” Dobbins said with a little laugh.
Since asking Elmer for lemon drops, Wang hadn’t moved, nor even looked at the two men. He continued to stare ahead, with his arms folded across his chest.
“The old man left,” Malcolm said. “I reckon he didn’t want to stay ’n watch his Chinaman friend get his ass beat.”
“How come he ain’t payin’ no attention to us?” Dobbins asked.
“Maybe he thinks if he don’t pay no attention to us, we’ll leave ’im be,” Malcolm suggested.
“For the last time, I’m tellin’ you to leave him alone,” Turley said. “You don’t have no idea what it is that you two men is lettin’ yourselves in for.”
“Don’t you worry none about it, Turley. We’re goin’ to end this quick, then we’ll go get us that whiskey. You scoot over to the other side, Dobbins. Let’s finish him off.”
Malcolm and Dobbins both put up their hands and began to dance around like boxers in a ring. One of them moved to Wang’s left, the other to his right.
“Both of them big men is goin’ after that one little Chinaman?” one of the spectators said. “I agree with Miz Sidwell. This ain’t fair. There ain’t nothin’ fair about it.”
“You want to help the Chinaman out, do you, Boyce?”
“Me? No, sir, that’s a couple of pretty big men,” Andy said. “There ain’t no way I’m goin’ up agin either one of ’em. That’s why I am sayin’ that it ain’t fair for both of ’em to go up agin that little Chinaman, him bein’ all by hisself, ’n all.”
“Now!” Malcolm shouted, and he and Dobbins both rushed Wang. As if his arms were spring-loaded, Wang snapped both of them straight out to either side, catching the two men in their Adam’s apples with the knife edge of his extended hands. Both Malcolm and Dobbins went down, clutching their throats and gasping for breath.
With the two men writhing on the ground, Wang continued to stare blankly into space, his arms once more folded across his chest.
“Damn! I ain’t never seen nothin’ like that!” Andy said.
“How’d he do that?” another asked.
Elmer came out of the drugstore then, carrying two bags. He looked at Malcolm and Dobbins, both on their knees now, but with their hands still clutching their throats.
There were still several people gathered around the three Twin Peaks riders.
“You three boys shoulda listened to me. Especially you, Turley. You’re a good man, you shoulda knowed better. I give you fair warnin’, not to be messin’ with Wang, ’n you can’t say that I didn’t. Now, I’m a little worried about you. Are you boys all right?” Elmer asked. “Wang didn’t hurt you too much, did he?”
“Who . . . who the hell is he?” Dobbins asked, his voice raspy.
“His name is Wang Chow. He’s a cook and all-around handyman for Duff ’n me, out at Sky Meadow. By the way, you can consider yourselves lucky.”
“Lucky? How so?” Malcolm asked, his voice as raspy as Dobbins’s voice had been.
“Because he could have kilt you if he had wanted to,” Turley said.
“How’d a Chinaman learn to do stuff like that?” Andy asked.
“He is a Shaolin priest,” Elmer said.
“A priest? He’s a priest ’n he can fight like that?” Andy said. “He sure as hell ain’t like no priest I ever seen.”
“Yeah, well, how many priests have you seen, anyhow? I’ll bet you ain’t set foot inside of a church in four or five years, if ever at all. But he’s not that kind of a priest. Here, you two boys have a lemon drop,” Elmer said, taking a couple of pieces of candy from one of the two sacks, then holding them out toward Malcolm and Dobbins. “If you just suck on ’em real slow, it’ll make your throat feel better.”
Malcolm waved him away. “I don’t need no damn candy. What I need is a whiskey,” Malcolm said as he got up and started toward the nearest saloon. Dobbins and Turley followed him.
“I told you,” Turley said. “You men wouldn’t listen to me, but you can’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
Elmer noticed that they were heading toward Fiddler’s Green.
“Come on, Wang, let’s me ’n you go down to Lee Fong’s ’n have us a good dinner.”
Wang and Elmer climbed into the wagon, then drove down to the other end of town toward the Chinese restaurant.