The need to pee overcomes me just as I’m about to fall asleep. I try to ignore it, but the baby inside me begins to move around, and I feel a little wetness leak out. I get up, squinting in the dark, and feel around under the bed for Luli’s slippers. There are two pairs, one soft and fluffy, the other the cheap black plastic kind old men wear. These, I know, must be Luli’s, so I jam them on my feet.
Standing up in the dorm, I feel strange, out of place, exposed because of my big belly. My coat is hanging on the bedpost, so I snatch it up and put it on. The dorms aren’t heated, and a pregnant girl will attract more attention than someone wearing a coat to the bathroom.
Luli’s room is just next to the toilets, so I make it in without anyone noticing me. I dart into a stall. The light is dim here, but when I pull down my underwear I notice a thick discharge that looks like I sneezed in them. I rub it away with toilet paper and flush it, but my underwear still feels a little damp.
I slip back into Luli’s room, take off my coat, and quietly step to the lockers. I know she wouldn’t mind if I borrow some underwear. All the lockers have padlocks on them, but sometimes the girls just push them in without spinning the numbers or turning their key. I used to do that all the time. I spot a cheap-looking lock that seems like what Luli would buy and reach up to give it a yank.
“What are you doing?”
I spin around. One of Luli’s roommates on an upper bunk snaps on a light clamped to the metal bedpost. We both blink at the harsh brightness.
“Who are you?” The girl sits bolt upright in her bed, astonished. She looks several years older than me, maybe in her early twenties.
“I’m a friend of Luli’s. I was going to borrow some clean clothes.” I move toward Luli’s bunk. “She said I could wait for her here.” I climb into the bed and cover up, trying to ignore the roommate’s prying eyes. I want to tell her to stop looking at me, but it’s probably best not to get on her bad side since I need to spend the night. If the roommates aren’t agreeable, they can report me. “Don’t worry about me.” I give a tight smile before I snuggle up under the scratchy blanket and turn my face to the wall.
I hear her jump off her bunk and feel her standing next to my bed. I wish she would go away.
“Where’s your husband?”
I twist around to look at her, summoning the most tired expression I can make. “I’m just going to sleep for a bit.”
“Luli’s probably working overtime until ten.” She gives no sign of letting up. “How did you get in here anyway?”
“She let me in a little while ago.” I wish she would keep her voice down. I don’t want the others to wake up.
The roommate puts her hand on her hips. “She shouldn’t have done that!” Her voice is sharp now, and I sit up and shush her.
“What is it?” One of the other roommates rolls over in her bunk, a lower one near the window, and pulls off a red satin sleep mask.
“Luli let her friend in while we were sleeping.” She doesn’t lower her voice. “She wants to wait here until Luli comes off overtime.”
The third girl is awake now too. Although I can’t see her on the other side of the fabric someone has hung between the beds for privacy, I feel the bed shift since the bunks are connected head to foot.
“But we have to leave for our shift in a little while.” The girl near the window swings her feet off and begins to smooth her mussed hair, which is bleached brown.
“Yes, and there won’t be anyone here except for you,” the older girl says.
The other two girls come to stand over me. The one I haven’t been able to see is clutching an oversized stuffed Hello Kitty. “You can’t stay here. We don’t know you.”
“Don’t worry. I’m just going to sleep. Luli will be back in a few hours.”
The girls exchange looks.
The one with Hello Kitty frowns at me. “Why don’t you go home?”
I shake my head vaguely. “I used to work at this factory. Don’t worry about your stuff. I won’t take anything.”
“She’s pregnant,” the older girl points out, causing the others to take in my middle. “Better go home to your husband,” she says to me.
The long-haired girl gets a sly look. “Maybe she’s not married.”
This is unbearable. I throw the blankets off and sit up. The girls gawk as if I’m the five-legged ox at the zoo. I hunch over my stomach and pull on my boots. I stand up, yank my coat off the bedpost, and leave the room, slamming the door hard behind me.
For a moment I just stand outside the door, clutching my coat, not knowing what to do next. The hall is dim and quiet, but I know in just a little while the girls who work the second shift will be coming out of their rooms to get ready.
The bathroom.
It’s only a few steps away. I duck inside. Two girls are at the sinks, but they don’t notice me. I dart into the closest stall, shut the door, and lock it. Standing over the squat toilet, I lean against the tile wall. I can feel its chill through my sweater, so I put on my coat. The scent of cleanser doesn’t cover the familiar smell of waste and dirty laundry that is always in the bathrooms. I try to just breathe through my mouth.
The girls at the sink are talking about their Spring Festival plans. The factory will be closing in five days. If all of Luli’s roommates go home for the holidays, then we’ll have two weeks of peace and quiet to figure something out. For now, I’ll just wait here until her shift is over.