The night before I’m due to go back to the city, Ma’s getting ready to do the wash when Yun declares, “I’m going back too. I need to start looking for a new job.”
Of course Ma flies into a state. She rails at Yun, says she’s too weak to go back now, crazy to even think about it. “You need to start your sitting-in month all over again!”
Yun really doesn’t look well. Her face is ashy-white. “I’m fine,” she insists, but Ma holds up the pants Yun had been wearing when she walked all those miles home. Blood has soaked through them.
“Does this look fine? Do these pants belong to a girl who can work a full shift without fainting or making herself sick?”
I take Yun aside. “I think you should stay with Ma for now.”
Yun bites her lip. “I need to go back to work.”
“And you will, soon. Listen, when I get back to Gujiao I’ll visit the job center every week and find out which factories are hiring. As soon you’re strong enough, I’ll help you find a position. We’ll work, make money, and come home to visit Chun and Ma every month. The fines will be paid off, I promise. But you have to get stronger first.”
Yun doesn’t argue. She goes over and picks up Chun, who isn’t even crying. She paces slowly, patting and rocking her, just like Ma does. I can see her heart isn’t completely in it. Maybe she’s mostly comforting herself. But I think it’s also her way of showing that she’ll make an effort with Chun—with all of us. And for now, that’s enough.
***
The bus moves into the thickening traffic near Gujiao. Towering apartment blocks crowd all sides of the crisscrossing expressway, reaching upward and overlapping into the distance until they fade into the brownish smog. I know that behind each of the thousands and thousands of dark windows, a family is housed.
Strangely, the city no longer seems so daunting and lonely. It strikes me that this time I’m the one going ahead and Yun is the one counting on me. Not only Yun, but Chun and Ma as well. They’re all counting on me.
I have a strange feeling of lightness as the bus pulls into the station, as if I’m going home.