Jess
She stood under the awning, drenched and chilled, as she watched Nate and his dog hurry away until they were out of view.
She shivered from more than just the wind blowing through her wet clothes.
She didn’t want him to go. She wanted to call after him and drag him inside her cozy trailer and make love all night long, safe and dry in his arms while the rain pounded the aluminum skin.
Oh, this was bad.
She couldn’t believe she had told him about that last horrible night with Roni and Doug. The words had spilled out of her like rainwater carving a channel to the sea.
Right there under her awning, Jess stripped out of her wet clothes to her bra and panties and draped them over the bistro chairs so they wouldn’t drip all over the trailer then hurried inside.
She grabbed a towel first and wrapped it around her, then turned on her propane heater to warm the space.
One of the few things she didn’t like about living in these close quarters were the bathing facilities. She loved glorious, luxuriant showers but the water capacity was severely limited in the Airstream.
Sometimes on the road, she checked into a hotel room for a night simply so she could indulge and take a long, hot shower where she didn’t have to worry about the water running out.
Still, she made do as best she could then slipped into her favorite warm sweats and thick socks. Jess knew she ought to climb into bed. The day had been long and she felt wrung out from the wild emotions of the past few hours.
Her mind was racing too much to sleep, jumping between Rachel, Cody, her parents.
Nate.
She was relieved he hadn’t accepted her invitation to come inside. It had been a spontaneous thing, spurred by the hunger that had only been growing stronger since the first time they kissed and by the security and safety she felt in his arms down at the cove.
He was right. She would have regretted it in the relentlessly harsh light of morning.
Jess had friends who could sleep with any person who caught their eye. Sometimes Jess wished she could do the same. That casual approach fit so much better with her own personal narrative, the persona she tried to portray of someone who hurried into town, took care of what needed to be done and then moved on.
How much easier would it be to keep everyone from getting too close if she were the sort of woman who could invite a desirable man into her bed at night, take what she wanted from him and kick him out in the morning without a second thought?
Over the years, she had learned that the price for a few hours of intimacy was simply too steep. She ended up feeling more alone than ever.
Too bad.
Right now, with the rain drumming against the Airstream and her body still quivering from Nate’s touch, she wanted so much more.
No. It was for the best. She already felt closer to him than any man she could remember, even the few she had dated for more than a few weeks.
She had never told either of those guys about her parents. She had just said they died when she was a teenager and neither had pressed.
Why had she spilled everything to Nate?
She still didn’t know.
All in all, it was probably a good thing she planned to leave the following week. A few more moonlit meetups with Nate and she would be so tangled up with him, she wouldn’t be able to extricate herself.
Would that be so horrible?
Yes. She knew the answer to that. Nate was the sort of man who would never be content with a casual relationship and she simply didn’t know if she had anything more to offer.
A text came through just as Jess was finally slipping into bed.
Hey, beautiful birthday girl. How was the par-tay?
She smiled, wondering how Yvette’s simple texts sounded so clearly like her friend.
She texted back a pic she had taken of the girls in their cute little flowery sundresses holding her birthday cake. Gorgeous cake, Yvette texted back. And then a second later.
Dayam, girl. Who’s the hottie?
She looked at the photo again and saw that Nate was standing in the background. He was smiling at the scene and looked big and dark and luscious.
Eleanor’s son, she answered back. He and his daughter came to the party.
You been holding out on me. Too bad you’re almost done there. Maybe I should still fly out to help you finish up. I’d like a taste of that.
She almost texted back, Nate’s mine. That wasn’t true, of course. She just wanted it to be.
You know I always have a pullout couch ready for you, she texted.
Yvette sent her the thinking emoji, which made her smile.
Yvette was someone else who had never taken no for an answer. When they met during basic training, Jess had put up all the usual back-off signals. Yvette had shoved them all out of the way with her characteristic style and insisted they were fated to be friends. Jess had been helpless in the face of such blatant confidence.
Their bond had been cemented through their initial training and had only been reinforced when they served together in Iraq.
They had worked perfectly together building Transitions. Each had strengths that complemented the other.
She wasn’t alone, Jess reminded herself. She had a sister she loved, nieces, a nephew. She had Yvette, an interesting job, a tiny house that was just right for her, barring the unfortunate showering limitations.
So she didn’t have a man in her life. That was her choice. The smartest choice for her situation right now—even if a rainy, cold night like this one made her wish she could make a different one.