AFTER WORDS

Once the wedding is over, the presents are opened, the thank-you notes written, the work is done, right? Wrong.

Now is when the real work begins. And the real fun. Your wedding, despite all the time and effort and expense, is just a one-day event. It isn’t, ultimately, the part that matters most. What matters most is the marriage. You might spend a year planning the perfect wedding, but if you let your efforts toward each other end there, your marriage would be nothing compared to that one day. Yes, your wedding should be everything you dream, but it should not be the end of your dreams for your marriage. It should be the beginning of the best days of your life.

You can use the quotes in this book to continue to nurture your relationship. Refer to them periodically to help you express how you feel. Write your favorite quote on a card and prop it up against the orange juice jug in the morning. Include your favorite line on an anniversary note. When expressing thanks for something—a gift or an uncommon consideration—write it down, and add a quote that amplifies your feelings. There are hundreds of ways to say “I love you.” The important thing is to say it, and to keep making it true.

But don’t stop there. A happy marriage, ultimately, is not just about falling in love and living happily ever after—sitting on the couch with your new spouse, watching TV. A good marriage produces a strength and an energy that is more than the sum of the two of you. Take that energy and spread it outward, toward the world. Share your passion with others. Use it to help make the world around you a more loving place. To pull a quote from this book:

Any marriage which is turned in upon itself, in which the bride and groom simply gaze obsessively at one another, goes out after a time.

A marriage which really works is one which works for others. Marriage has both a private face and a public importance . . .

Those who are married live happily ever after the wedding day if they persevere in the real adventure, which is the royal task of creating each other and creating a more loving world.

—ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, ON THE MARRIAGE
OF QUEEN ELIZABETH II (MARRIAGE ITSELF)