I reach my hand out, trying to find Isaac. My eyes fly open when my fingers meet a cold side of the bed. I sit up and look around my bedroom, seeing no sign of Isaac anywhere. I get out of the bed, knowing I didn't dream him up. I can still feel his touch all over my body.
Fear creeps through me that he might have once again disappeared. I make my way to the bathroom, pausing when I catch my reflection in the mirror. My fingers linger on the small love bites on my breasts, and my eyes fill with tears. For the first time in my life, I look thoroughly loved and I’m not sure my heart can withstand him vanishing again.
My fingers trail down to my stomach where I have pale stretch marks from when I was pregnant. I close my eyes thinking about how Isaac pressed his mouth there, kissing the scars. It says something about the kind of man he is that he didn't care that I went and had a child with another man after him. That he still wants me—or at least that’s what he said last night.
What if he got what he wanted and he left? I turn away from the mirror, not wanting to look at myself. What if he destroyed me once again? It’s so hard for me to believe that based on our connection. I don’t truly think he could leave me to go be with another woman, but maybe that only goes to show how naïve I am about love. I could never bring myself to move on from him.
Chris is a perfect example of that. He’s everything I should be looking for in a partner, but there was nothing there. The thought of him trying to kiss me made my skin crawl, and luckily he hadn't tried. It eats me up inside to think Isaac could have been with someone else after that night we shared.
This kind of thinking is so silly. I should talk to him about it and stop speculating.
Last night I wanted to savor him for a moment longer before I might possibly make him hate me. He’d been more than onboard with us not rehashing everything last night too. It has me wondering if there’s a story he still needs to tell me. Maybe he thinks he’s going to send me running, but at the moment it looks like he’s missing.
I grab my robe off the hook and put it on before I clean myself up. I don’t want to run all over the house looking like a hot mess after I leave my bedroom. Shit. Why hadn't I thought about the fact that last night Rae could have tried to come into my bedroom at any moment?
Running my hand down my face, I realize I need to put some clothes on. I snag some yoga pants and a sweater, and when I come out I see Isaac sitting on the bench at the end of my bed. He’s fully dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater looking like he stepped off the cover of GQ.
“I thought you left,” I say as he lifts his head at the sound of my voice.
“I didn't want your daughter to find me in your bed, and I figured it might be best to change too.” So it looks like he might have gone home and come back or that he slept in another room.
“Good call.” At least one of us was thinking.
I walk over to him, and he pulls me in for a kiss. It’s not quick, and as he deepens it, his hands go to my face, one to my chin where he tips my head back and the other to my hair. While his touch is soft, he’s controlling me, and my body responds. He kisses me like girls dream of being kissed, and I don’t ever want it to end.
He starts to back up, and I know where this is headed. I’m not about to protest, because when Isaac’s touching me I forget about everything else.
“Mommy!” I hear Rae shout. Quick little feet come racing down the hall.
Isaac lets out a grunt before breaking the kiss. He turns away from the door and reaches down to adjust his cock before my bedroom door flies open a moment later.
Rae comes to a sliding halt when she sees Isaac standing there. “You’re still here.” She smiles and looks excited to see him.
“I am,” Isaac says, returning her smile. “I wanted to have breakfast with your mom.”
Rae scrunches her nose. “She’s not a very good cook.” She whispers this as if that makes it sound nicer. I only laugh because she’s right. There are a few things I can make, but I’m not the best.
“How about I cook then? I’m not too bad at pancakes.”
“Me too! You should add chocolate chips,” she informs him, like that’s a secret recipe.
“Good idea. Think you can help me?” I love how good he is with her already. It helps that Rae is talking to him so easily.
“Yes!” She grabs his hand and starts pulling him from the room. He lets her, but not before he reaches out and snags my hand to come with them.
He asks Rae about her Christmas, and she launches into telling him all the things she got as we make our way downstairs to the kitchen.
As we walk past the long mirror in the hall, my whole body warms at the sight of the three of us looking like a picture-perfect family. It has me wanting to spend the day like this and once again avoid reality for a little bit longer.
I didn’t think the hole I dug could get any deeper…